Chapter Text
'Take things slowly.." It was laughable really, how they had planned to avoid having sex for a while, to see how things were. Nearly a week into their relationship, they had taken the plunge and slept together.
Just over two months into their relationship, they took a further step, and Ellie stayed round Alec's house overnight. Daisy was in Sandbrook, Tom at a sleepover and the Latimers looked after Fred. Even though by this point they had slept together many times, usually it was a quickie in the car or a spare hour spent together.
That night was special, Alec had cooked, and they had made love at least four times. He had woken up to the sound of Ellie's light breathing. He knew she was scared, and he was lying if he wasn't. He had fallen for her. Deeply.
"Lie still you twat." She whispered it to him, but Alec could hear the softness in her voice. It was only 6am but the sky made glow, she sounded happy, almost content.
"Sorry darlin." That made her sit up, despite only being awake 5 seconds. Alec realised what he had said. "Shit..."
"Darlin." Ellie was laughing now, genuine laughter. "Next it will be babe, imagine that in an interview... Here is the file sir.... Oh thanks babe."
Alec only saw one option to shut her up, he leant forward and kissed her. She smiled into the kiss and neither of them really cared about the morning breath or the fact that neither of them had a coffee yet. Ellie broke the kiss reluctantly to ask him about work.
"Alec... We need to get ready..." She said through kisses.
"It's okay, I phoned in sick.... And I said Tom was ill so you couldn't be in."
That made Ellie pull away, she wasn't even mad he had lied, she just knew she wanted to be with him for the rest of the day.
"I'll go make some coffee." She smiled.
As she was in the kitchen, she wondered why she had ever been so nervous. Was it Joe? Was it the kids? Or was it just Ellie battling with her own demons? She knew one thing was for certain, she had fallen for Alec, and it felt perfect. Her thoughts were however, interrupted by footsteps, she sighed to herself.
"I know how to make coffee Alec... I will bring them back to bed."
However, it was just silence. She spun round to see Alec in just a shirt and boxers with a worrying look on his face. What could have happened in 2 and a half minutes? She thought to herself.
"El...." Alec didn't even know what words to use. "The condom broke last night."
"I... What? It can't of done." Ellie matched Alec's panic. "Fuck... Fuck."
Ellie was pacing now, the thought of being pregnant was fucking terrifying, to be honest. 2 months into a relationship and being up the duff, didn't seem a perfect outcome.
"I.... We need... The morning after pill." Ellie looked worried, yet Alec was surprisingly calm.
"Or we just let nature take its course?" Alec said this, and instantly regretted it, when he saw the look on Ellie's face.
She was nearly screaming as she went for her car keys and a coat.
"Let nature take its course." She mocked him and he knew he'd messed up. "I can't just give birth to your baby Alec, we have been together for 2 months, don't be fucking stupid."
She was walking to the door now, with anger and rage even he hadn't seen before.
"Where are you going Ellie?" He was pleading now.
"Out. Don't bother following... Twat..." She shouted as she slammed the door. Alec never followed her, he just looked on from the window.
About an hour later, Ellie was sat alone in the pharmacy carpark crying her eyes out in her pajamas. She was crying for Alec, for the kids and for once, herself. It wasn't even certain she would be pregnant, but Ellie wasn't sure she wanted to take her chance. All of a sudden she heard a knock on the window, she looked up to see Beth there, with tissues. She unlocked the car door and gestured to Beth.
"Thought you might need these." She said as she shut the car door and sat in the passengers seat. She handed the tissues to Ellie, who barely managed a smile.
"He is a wanker for calling you." Ellie said through sobs.
"Hmmmm, maybe. He never told me what all this was about. Are you going to tell me?"
Ellie contemplated, just breaking down but she knew she had to be calm when she told Beth. Because maybe Beth could make this more normal, better even.
Ellie took a breath and began.
"Last night... Me and Alec... Well we.."
"You had sex, multiple times." Beth jumped in and put her hand on Ellie's arm.
"Yes... We did." Ellie continued. "I woke up this morning, things seemed perfect, I was finally happy. Alec came in and shattered it, he had to tell me, but I don't want to believe it. The condom broke last night, there is a chance I am pregnant with Alec's child."
Ellie could no longer be calm and she was sobbing uncontrollably again. Beth pulled her close and stroked her hair.
"Oh El." She said as Ellie pulled away to face her.
"Help me Beth." Ellie pleaded.
"Sweetheart, what did Alec say?" Beth needed to know the whole situation before she could offer advice.
"He fucking told me to 'let nature take its course.' How can I do that? You lost your baby because of my husband, I can't just pop one out... It's not okay."
Finally the penny dropped, this wasn't about Alec, this was about Ellie. Ellie feeling guilty for a crime she didn't even commit, yet haunted her every single night.
"I popped another one out." Beth looked her dead in the eye. "Lizzie will never replace Danny, but she is a sign of how the world keeps moving. Ellie how is you never having another child going to make things better? Undo things?"
"I don't... I don't even know." Ellie was so tired it hurt.
Beth knew she had to be blunt with her even if it hurt.
"Okay so say you are pregnant, you go in there, take the morning after pill. Two years down the line, you want kids but you can't, because you missed the opportunity too. El you are not 20, this might be your last chance to have a kid with Alec. Or say you drive home, see Alec, tell him you love him and that you will take a test in three weeks. Whatever the outcome is, pregnant or not, at least you know you tried."
Ellie was stunned at Beth's answer and advice, but it still didn't fix everything.
"We have only been together two months, what will the kids think?" Ellie asked now, feeling slightly calmer.
"You guys are already a little family, 2 months is longer than you think, the kids would be delighted I know they would. You need to do this Ellie, you need to go back and see Alec, and as he would say 'let nature take its course.'
Beth looked at the time, 7.33am, she needed to get back. Ellie picked up on Beth glancing at her watch.
"I'll go home, I promise." Ellie smiled. "And thank you, for just being you."
They had one final hug and Ellie began the drive back to Alec's. She played over the possibility of being pregnant and the more she thought, the more it sounded more normal. As she pulled up outside Alec's, he opened the door, he ran to her and squeezed her tight.
"Okay... We will let nature take its course, as you so lovingly put it." She said to him quietly, as he pulled away.
"I don't want you to feel forced into not taking the pill?"
"No, we need to see what the pregnancy test says in three weeks, and if it's positive, then we are gonna have a tiny mouth to feed."
Alec took Ellie's hands.
"Are you sure?" He asked.
"I've never been so certain of anything." Ellie smiled.
They hugged again, with less urgency this time.
"I love you Ellie Miller" Alec whispered.
Ellie took a deep breath. "And I love you."