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QueenKrista: I’m sorry, babe. I think we should just reschedule. My tummy doesn’t feel so well and I’d rather not have to run out halfway through.
SolveForY: Uh, okay. I understand. We’ll try next time, alright? Get lots of rest and maybe take something for your stomach.
Historia sighed loudly and slumped against the sink. Shame and guilt consumed her. It wasn’t that she was feeling sick. Actually, she was a bundle of nerves, but she had let her anxiety get the best of her.
She was supposed to meet her girlfriend for the first time.
Historia liked to think that in the situations that counted the most, she would be brave enough to stand tall and face anything head-on. But not this and not now.
She didn’t know her name. They didn’t know each other’s name, but that was agreed upon very early on in the relationship which only spanned one single month. It was weird, she knew that, to claim to like someone enough to date them, but not even know their name. It was just… there was something intense between them, and the mystery kept their flame very much alight. She liked to just call her Y, and Y called her Krista. They had finally decided to meet today and Historia had gone to the café they had decided on, but Y was a little late and Historia ended up running to the bathroom out of fright. Now she had just cancelled, and she was sure Y was very, very disappointed.
“I’m pathetic,” she sighed at herself.
An elderly lady exited one of the stalls and sent her a look, so Historia straightened her back and fiddled with her hair in the mirror until the woman was gone. Then she slumped, eyes sliding down to the phone in her hand, the open chat.
I wonder what she looks like…
Historia’s heart hurt, but this was a pain of her own doing. She washed her hands, slapped her cheeks to bring colour back into them, then she forced herself to leave the restroom and swallowed hard when the door shut behind her.
What if she’s here already? Relax, she doesn’t know what I look like. I mean, we’ve described ourselves but never sent any pics. She wouldn’t even know it was me.
Swallowing hard, Historia made for the exit.
“Historia?”
She froze stiffly, but she recognized the voice and suddenly her heart was thundering for an entirely different reason. She turned slowly, cheeks flushing, and came face to face with the one person on earth she didn’t expect to see there. Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open. Before she realized what she was doing, she flung herself forward. “Ymir! Oh my god!” She wrapped her arms around Ymir’s neck and pulled her down into a crushing hug.
Ymir laughed against her ear. It was a soft, husky sound that sent shivers down Historia’s spine. “You’re as small as ever, Jesus,” Ymir commented.
Historia pulled away to pout. “And you’re still a dick.”
Ymir was grinning broadly down at her. “Wow, still a potty mouth. It’s kind of hot.”
Her cheeks flushed even deeper. Historia couldn’t help the pattering of her heart. Just moments go she had been stressing about meeting her anonymous girlfriend for the first time, and now her stomach was fluttering for an entirely different reason. “What’re you doing back?”
They had gone to school together, and following graduation Ymir had moved out of town. Historia had been devastated, but since she had never had the courage to confess to Ymir like she should have, all she could do was let her go. Ymir was following a dream, and that was great for her. Historia had stayed behind and joined the family business, as was expected of her, and she was finding that it wasn’t that bad.
“I’m thinking about requesting a transfer down here, so I came to see the office and the people. I also thought I’d see if you were still around.”
Historia’s heart skipped a beat. Ymir might move down here? That was fantastic! Though… oh my god, I’m literally cheating right now. How can I still feel like this about Ymir? It’s been three years! With barely any contact! You have a girlfriend, Historia. Act like it.
“We should grab a seat and catch up,” Ymir suggested. Her smile was so beautiful that it made Historia’s fingertips ache.
Actually, I should go since I blew off my girlfriend, she thought. “Sure!” was what she said.
Historia internally cursed herself as Ymir found a table for them and flagged down a waitress. She really shouldn’t be doing this, because what if her girlfriend decided to still come here, and saw Historia sitting with another woman after cancelling on their meeting?
“You okay there?”
Historia realized she had been holding her breath. She exhaled harshly and nodded. “Um, I’m just surprised, is all. To see you. I mean, it’s been so long.”
Ymir looked way too happy. It was doing things to Historia’s heart. “It has. I’m sorry that I never kept in touch. Life was pretty busy.”
Historia waved off her concern. “I get it, trust me. Between all the training with my father and moving into the new house, these past few years have been hectic for me too.”
“You live alone now?”
Historia nodded. “Yeah. I had to get out of the house. I can’t work with my family and live with them.”
Ymir chuckled. “I get you. Sounds smart.”
They ordered drinks and Ymir added a light breakfast. When Historia shook her head and said just a tea was fine, Ymir gave her a look.
“You’re not hungry? I don’t mind paying.”
God, she’s so perfect. Historia really hated how much her feelings were starting to rush back. She had been in love with Ymir so hard for so many years. In just a few short minutes all of those strong emotions came rushing back, and as terrible as Historia felt, she couldn’t stop it. How could she not feel things for Ymir? Ymir was the sort of person you felt things for. You fell in love with her and pined for her, and dreamed about being with her and cried at night because you weren’t.
Oh god, this is a problem.
“I’m fine, really. My stomach is a little knotted up. I don’t think I could get anything down anyway.”
Ymir’s face filled with concern. “Oh shit, that sounds bad. Do you maybe want me to take you home? Or did you drive here?”
“Walked. And it’s fine, don’t worry. I can still enjoy my tea. Besides, I haven’t seen you in forever. I’d love to catch up.”
Ymir’s smile looked like relief, but she cleared her throat and it was gone, and Historia wondered if it had even been there. “Alright, if you’re sure.” She placed her menu down on the table and then pulled her phone out. “I hope you don’t mind…” A little crease formed between her brows, and she suddenly looked a little sad. Historia’s heart sank and she wanted to reach out and hold Ymir and tell her everything would be okay. “I just want to message my girlfriend.”
It felt like cold water had been thrown in her face. Of course it had been foolish to think that Ymir was still single, but still, it stung deeply. It shouldn’t have, since Historia wasn’t single either, but damnit. It still hurt and Historia was shocked to realize how upset she was. Tears pressed at her eyes but she ignored them. Ymir typed away for a second, and then she put her phone away and gave a small, tight smile, and Historia’s phone beeped.
“Oh, sorry.” She pulled it out. “Probably from my girlfriend.” She couldn’t help but rub it in. Show Ymir that she had game too. She was satisfied when Ymir frowned a little.
SolveForY: I might not be in town all that long, so we have a short window to meet. Just thought I’d let you know.
Historia frowned. She was the worst girlfriend in the world. They could have met, but there she was, happily sitting with Ymir instead.
QueenKrista: Okay. We can maybe plan for tomorrow? I’m really sorry.
She hit send and put her phone away, and then she straightened and sent Ymir a watery smile. Ymir looked just as upset, though. “I’ll be back,” Ymir told her. She stood and headed outside. Historia watched her, heart heavy. Ymir pulled her phone out and stared at it for a long time, and then Historia turned away and tried to focus instead on the patterns on the surface of the table. When her phone started to ring, her heart leapt into her throat.
It was Y. Historia’s throat dried up. They hadn’t spoken over the phone yet, having agreed to leave all of this to their first meeting, but Y was calling her. Historia’s mind started to race with panic and uncertainty, wondering how her voice would sound and if she would hear the café noises in the background. She realized that she needed to answer soon, though, so she swallowed all of her fears, answered the call and pressed the phone to her ear.
“Hello?”
There was silence. She nervously looked up and caught Ymir staring at her from outside, eyes wide.
“Are you there?” she asked.
Ymir’s eyes widened even more, and Historia wondered what was wrong—until she started speaking, and then Historia’s whole world screeched to a halt.
“Historia?”
Ymir said the word. Historia watched her mouth move. But her voice filtered through the phone, and it was definitely Y, because the call was through the app they used to chat. Historia doubled checked, just to make sure, and yeah, it was Y.
Y was Ymir… holy…
Ymir immediately rushed back into the café, and when she dropped back into her seat Historia’s heart was thundering. “Did I just… did you just answer my call?”
Historia licked her dry lips. “I did. Are you… um…?”
They stared at each other for a moment, then they showed their phones and the same chat, and yeah, it was them. Historia placed her phone on the table and stared at it.
“Holy shit,” Ymir muttered softly. Historia glanced up and looked at her. “Wait, you blew me off!”
Historia’s eyes widened as the full situation sunk in. “I can explain!”
Instead of looking angry, though, Ymir look amused. She started to laugh, so hard that people around them started to stare. “I can’t believe this… all this time, I’ve been dating you. What were the odds?”
Historia frowned. “I’m sorry if you’re disappointed.” It came out sounding a little more bitter than intended, and Ymir had heard it. Her head snapped up and her cheeks were red, but there was affection and love in her eyes.
“I’m not disappointed at all. I mean, to find out I’ve actually been dating the girl I was in love with in high school?”
“Wait, you were in love with me?”
“Hell yeah I was.” Ymir reached out and took her hand, and Historia stared at their contrasting skin colours. Her heart was beating in her throat. “It killed me to leave, but what I wanted to do with my life was out there, not here. I always regretted not telling you how I felt.”
Historia slipped her fingers between Ymir’s and squeezed her hand softly. “I felt the same. I still do.”
“This is so wild. Holy shit. How the fuck does this even happen?” She laughed again. “You know, I knew there was just something about you that pulled me in.”
The look she was giving made Historia want to melt. Her head was still spinning with this new revelation, but there was one thing she was certain of. She was insanely happy.
“Do you remember that thing I said I wanted to do when we finally met?” Ymir asked her.
Historia did. Her cheeks flushed and her heart started to pound, but she nodded. Ymir gave her a naughty grin, and then she leaned across the table and kissed her. Historia had never felt lips so soft before. The heat of Ymir’s mouth made her dizzy. If she had been standing, she would have fallen over. When Ymir pulled away, still grinning, Historia’s knees were knocking together.
“Now,” Ymir staid, grinning ear to ear. “You have explaining to do, missy. Why’d you blow me off to hang out with your super cool childhood friend?”
Historia touched a finger to her lips. “Just give me a second,” she responded. Ymir was laughing again, and Historia would let her. Holy shit. This was real. Ymir was her… “Holy shit.”
“Holy shit is right.”
Ymir’s breakfast arrived and she dug in while Historia still tried to gather her wits. Maybe it was the kiss or just the warm, overwhelming presence of Ymir, but Historia couldn’t seem to find her voice. It didn’t matter, though.
She was sure she had the rest of their lives to explain.