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The sixth or seventh time it happens, Seijuurou begins to suspect something is, in fact, Up.
"Do you keep losing your keys or something?" he asks the first year.
The grey-haired swimmer looks up from his textbook, pinking a bit. "Um, no, Mikoshiba-senpai."
"It's alright if that's the case," the captain assures him. "They sell those rubber coil key-chains in the bookshop, you know! To keep track of them. Look, I have one."
"Oh," says Nitori, face fairly blank. "That's nice."
"It glows in dark," Seijuurou adds, proudly.
"I see?" responds Nitori, a little painfully. "But, um, I have my keys right here." He digs in his pocket, holds them up. They are attached to a rather too adorable penguin key-chain. Seijuurou successfully does not notice this. Samezuka's a weird place, for weird guys; if you stopped and stared at every little thing, you wouldn't get much done.
Seeing them, though, Seijuurou feels like asking, if you've got your keys, then why the hell do you keep crashing my single all the time? But he's a captain, and a part of that is being tactful. Most of his team would laugh, probably, if anyone used that word to describe him, but that's because they're a bunch of obsessive jocks who might know everything about dive entry angles, but shit-all about dealing with other people.
Ah, speaking of obsessive jocks.
"Is it Matsuoka? Is Matsuoka kicking you out? Nitori-kun! For shame! Don't let him push you around just because he's an upperclassman."
The younger boy becomes visibly startled at Matsuoka's mention. Aha, so we're getting somewhere. "No, it's - I don't mind letting Matsu... Rin-senpai use the room for a while!"
The thing with Nitori is, he's pretty smart. Much smarter than the babyface and bowlcut might lead one to believe. But if you kept him flustered with direct questions, he didn't recover fast enough to carefully re-think his words before he said them. Another thing about being a captain; you had to know how to work people, so you could get them to work with other people. "Use the room for what?"
"For - sorry?"
"What does he keep kicking you out for?"
"He's not kicking - for senpai, that is, I definitely don't mind - hypothetically! Giving him, um, space, for - "
"For? For what? You're turning pretty red, Nitori-kun! Hahaha. Oh, I think I get it. Is he, you know," Seijuurou executes a hand motion that has Nitori's entire face turning the shade of a mango. Seijuurou successfully does not recall that he and the underclassman have had much cruder conversations about certain pop idols, and that this reaction is exclusive to the thought of the boy's precious Rin-senpai. Samezuka's a weird place, for weird guys; sometimes weird guys who liked to get weird with other weird guys, occasionally.
As long as nobody starts stealing his speedos again, Seijuurou honestly doesn't care. Those are expensive, damnit.
"N-n-no! No, senpai is very private about his, um, natural urges!" Nitori squeaks. Seijuurou focuses blankly on the younger swimmer's mole, so he doesn't have to see Matsuoka in the throes of self-inflicted passion reflected in light blue eyes. "I don't even know when he does that!"
Seijuurou successfully ignores the disappointment in Nitori's voice, and presses, "So what's Matsuoka need the room to himself for so much?"
"He - " And here's the beauty of it, that Nitori doesn't even realize he's already confessed Matsuoka's guilt, " - That is, Rin-senpai sometimes wants to use the room to hang out with his friend from the Iwatobi swim club."
Whatever the captain expected, that wasn't it. "Hoh? But you're friendly with all those guys too now, aren't you?"
"I would be out of place," Nitori says quickly. "Really, it's fine!"
Seijuurou's eyebrow arches. Although he tries to be impartial, he does have a soft spot for sweet, helpful Nitori. Slow as molasses in the water, but quick on the uptake Nitori. "That's unfair, isn't it?" He's standing up, much to Nitori's dismay, and opens the door. As much as he respects Matsuoka's swimming, and even his serious personality to an extent, he can be a real careless idiot when it comes to Nitori. The kid just wants to hang out with him, looks up to him, maybe wants to sniff his shampoo a little, is that really such a big deal? It sounds like Matsuoka making a mountain out of a mole hill, as usual. "As if that Nanase guy would care one way or another if you were to stay in your own room."
"No, Mikoshiba-senpai! It's - don't open the door! No! MIKOSHIBA-SENPAI!"
Seijuurou opens the door, and finds himself staring into two slightly homicidal green eyes.
Well, now. That's a game-changer.
"C-captain!" blurts Matsuoka from somewhere below Tachibana's massive bulk, and Seijuurou has seen a lot of sides to the stoic swimmer by now, but this is definitely something different altogether. Evidence of what, exactly, the two need a room to themselves for is pretty apparent; while everybody's clothed, they're fighting to become untangled on the flyer's bottom bunk. Tachibana's glasses have been thrown onto the floor and his hair is insanely mussed, that wide chest heaving. Matsuoka, when he drags himself up from beneath Tachibana, is flush from his cheeks to his toes, and his frantic, wide-eyed haste to put distance between the bigger swimmer and himself is a dead give-away.
"Your fly's undone," he offers cheerfully to the redhead, who blushes even more and curses, turning away to rectify the problem.
Tachibana's all smiles now, that one instant of fierce anger replaced by a sweetly embarrassed expression. "H-hello, Captain Mikoshiba! Um, this is a bit embarrassing. Sorry."
For them, certainly. Seijuurou hasn't been embarrassed a day in his life, and he's not about to start because it turns out his most prickly, difficult teammate is getting laid. - Ah, who is he kidding. That kid probably hasn't even gone under the pants yet. "No no, no need to apologize. Forgive me for interrupting!"
"You're not interrupting anything," snarls Rin, still the same colour as his hair. "But get out."
"I'm not allowed to check on my teammates, now?"
"You didn't even knock!"
"Ah, Matsuoka. I'm the RA, I don't need to knock." Untrue. The handbook states explicitly otherwise. That's hardly as fun, though - the shit you walk in on in a boy's school like Samezuka? Pretty damn funny. "Though I guess in this case, it would have helped! Haha!"
"Why are you still here," Matsuoka's face is sinking into his hands.
Tachibana looks bemused, but also a bit strained, sitting on his big hands a bit childishly. "Now, Rin, there's no need to be rude."
"Exactly! We're all friends here! Well, I'll leave you two to - it."
Matsuoka snaps, horrified, "There's no it! If there was, it's none of your damn business! Fuck off!"
Ignoring the possibly ulcering redhead, Seijuurou turns his attention to Tachibana. "Congratulations! Ahah, I wish you the best of luck. He's kind of a handful, isn't he? Be firm, that's my advice. From one captain to another!"
"Holy shit, I wish I were dead," moans Matsuoka, while Tachibana laughs uneasily, nodding. No one is getting under any pants today, either, it looks like.
As Seijuurou steps back and closes the door behind himself, a thought occurs to him.
Matsuoka won't relinquish Gou-kun's number, not for anything, but Tachibana - a fellow captain, a guy of no small ability, and the lucky bastard allowed by Matsuoka himself into closest contact with the sweet, beautiful Gou-kun - Tachibana might.
Given the proper incentive, of course.
"Wh-why is Mikoshiba-senpai smiling like that?" quavers poor Nitori.
He starts out slow, subtle. No, that's a lie; he goes instantly all out, because being a captain meant being direct and assertive about your wants, and Seijuurou takes his quest for Gou-kun's hand very seriously. When Nitori's kicked out of his room, Seijuurou elects to blast his enka music as loudly as possible, singing along with a gusto. When Matsuoka comes over to complain, he only turns it up louder, citing his high karaoke scores to maintain. During joint practices, if Matsuoka even so much glances in Tachibana's direction, Seijuurou barks a "Knock it off with your flirting, Matsuoka, and do another lap!" across the entire pool. Within just a few days, Matsuoka is so embarrassed by all the public acknowledgement, he's basically sprinting away from whatever side of the pool Tachibana's on.
His visits to Matsuoka's and Nitori's room suddenly increase by seven-fold, and his reasons for dropping by change transparently every week. His room is too cold, he complains on Monday. Too stuffy, he explains Tuesday. Wednesday he wants to show Matsuoka his entire collection of swimming documentaries. Thursday he makes far, far too much food, totally on accident, and after bringing it over to share stays all night. Friday is impromptu team bonding night, and he herds Matsuoka and all his teammates off to the arcade. Saturday and Sunday are of course mandatory extra training, since regionals are almost 5 whole months away.
He tutors Nitori in the room, stating that the best working environment is of course a familiar one. When Nitori's fled and the door is suspiciously locked, he talks loudly on the phone to his sister in the hallway, pacing up and down, explaining the weird state his bowels have been in ever since they went to that Korean Barbecue place. He gleans date locations out of Nitori and the Iwatobi guys, showing up ever so coincidentally and joining them, all jovial exuberance; he's been on several very pleasant dates with the couple to the movies, various places to eat around Iwatobi, and the aquarium. He even bemoans a problem with his shower, asks regularly to borrow Nitori and Matsuoka's, effectively cutting off the last, final frontier of privacy in Matsuoka's dorm room.
"It's rude to be on the phone when you have a guest, Matsuoka," he chastises his underclassman, and Matsuoka deadpans but says into the mobile, "I'll call you back later, Makoto."
"Do you think you could help me with my English? This exam is way beyond my level! I'll cook a steak dinner for the whole team this weekend!" he wheedles at the redhead, and Matsuoka sighs but says, "You don't mind if he sticks around tonight, do you, Makoto?"
"Do you think I have an ingrown toenail? This doesn't look like pus, does it?" he asks Matsuoka in the locker room, putting his size-seventeen foot right between he and Tachibana on the bench, and Matsuoka says, "I'm going to shower. Later, Makoto."
Being calculating and ruthless were somewhat un-glamorous parts of being a captain, maybe, but he can't help but get a little sadistic enjoyment out of Tachibana's increasing twitchiness, out of Matsuoka's exhausted resignation to Seijuurou's intrusions.
By the fourth week of this bullshit, really, he's quite impressed with Tachibana's patience. He supposes he shouldn't be surprised - dating Matsuoka probably required a lot of it. Not just because the guy can be a cold little shit, but because he knows the redhead has had it hard in life. The breaking of the wave can't explain the sea, and all that. After months and months in the school, Matsuoka's only just now beginning to show his true colors, engaging their teammates, talking and smiling and laughing more. The guys from Iwatobi are having a great effect on him, and in his more sentimental moments, Seijuurou can't help but wonder if Tachibana's seemingly exhaustive patience is a part of that, giving Matsuoka the time and space to open up and come into his own.
In his less sentimental moments, he damns the bastard for being so god damn hard to crack.
But crack, he eventually does.
"Mikoshiba-senpai," greets Tachibana at his door softly, all quiet sunshine and apologetic interruption. When Seijuurou questions his own brutal tactics in the face of this kind boy who's stolen his best flyer's heart, he remembers those piercing green eyes he first saw. He remembers sharp emerald, staring out from Matsuoka's bunk, and questioning the purpose of Seijuurou's entire existence on this planet for interrupting a no doubt sweet and heavy moment between him and Matsuoka. He has faith in Tachibana; being a captain meant pursuing the things you want, after all.
And he's seen them together, the way Matsuoka's ever-present tension drains to nothing and Tachibana's unassuming grin gets wide and reckless, when they're around eachother. He wants Matsuoka Rin to himself, selfishly, totally. And if that's the case, he will play this game, the captain's game. "Mikoshiba-senpai, can I speak with you for a moment?"
"Of course, of course." Seijuurou steps aside, and Tachibana shuffles in. Alone, no Matsuoka. Hmmm. Interesting. "Did you have a question about next week's scheduling?"
"No, well, sort of." Tachibana waves his hands a bit to disperse the incorrect notion, sitting down on the edge of Seijuurou's bed while the Samezuka captain takes his desk chair. "It's not about swimming."
"Not about swimming?" Seijuurou brightens. "Ah, so you and Matsuoka are game for karaoke tonight, then? Great! I'll tell Nitori-kun we have two more - "
"We are not game," Tachibana interrupts, suddenly, sharply. "We would like to spend one Friday night alone, if that's alright with you."
There's a tense silence. Seijuurou is hardly offended, but he lets the other captain drown in it.
"Sorry," Tachibana exhales, and the tenseness he's been trying to hide in those big sloped shoulders is suddenly extremely apparent. "That's - sort of what I wanted to talk to you about. It's just that, I've been getting a strange impression, and I think I could let it go if you told me it was all in my head."
Seijuurou quells his smile, leaning forward. This is even better than he expected. "You sound pretty serious, Tachibana. What's this strange impression?"
"That you don't - approve of Rin and I, being together." The softness leaves every part of Tachibana, all at once. As expected. Really, it's sweet, in a weird way, like everything and everyone at Samezuka. "Frankly speaking, Mikoshiba-senpai, just because you're Rin's captain, doesn't mean we need your permission or anything like that."
The Samezuka captain allows his expression to go slack and surprised. "Strange impression was right, you know. I don't have any problem at all with you and Matsuoka dating." A bright grin breaks across his face. "If anything, I'm benefiting unfairly from it! Most swimmers swim better when their personal life is going well, you know. No, you've definitely had a good effect on him! I approve wholeheartedly!"
"Not that we need your permission," Tachibana reminds, a little more flat than before.
"No, not that you need my permission," Seijuurou agrees. "Of course."
"So, then," Tachibana struggles, digging a hand back into that tousled constant bed-head of his, "it is all in my head."
"It's all in your head," Seijuurou agrees again, boisterous and charming. "You and Matsuoka are a match made in heaven! May you be together many years, bear many fat children - well, not exactly, but the sentiment's the same, right!"
The younger swimmer looks relieved. "Right. Um. Wow. Sorry, this must have seemed so crazy." Tachibana laughs weakly. "I thought it would be really weird? That you've been interrupting us on purpose, or something."
"Oh, no," Seijurrou shakes his head. "No, I'm definitely doing that."
Tachibana's face freezes in total shock, whip-lashed with the turn of the conversation. "I - excuse me? What did you just say?"
"I said I'm definitely interrupting you on purpose," Seijuurou explains more blatantly. The older swimmer crosses his arms. This is the moment; he'll either play along, or back down.
"Why," Tachibana says slowly, "have you been doing that?"
"I'm holding your boyfriend for ransom," the older captain explains. "You can have him back, don't worry! In return for - "
"Kou-chan's number," finishes Tachibana, looking utterly shell-shocked. "Oh my god."
"A Matsuoka for a Matsuoka," Seijuurou replies easily, shrugging. "It's a fair trade, isn't it?"
"Everyone at Samezuka is so weird," Tachibana mumbles petulantly, suddenly standing, jerking open the dorm room door.
"I know!" Seijuurou laughs, but he doubts the other captain hears him over the slam.
He didn't say no, Seijuurou thinks happily.
It's four in the morning. Seijuurou has an advanced math test and a Japanese History oral exam tomorrow, and he literally can't believe what's happening to him right now.
Nitori, as usual, is getting the shit-end of Matsuoka's stick, sleeping on Seijuurou's floor with his pillow and Seijuurou's extra blanket. The Samezuka captain had felt a bit responsible for tonight's events, so he gave him his headphones as well. The younger boy can't sleep with music playing, either, but at least he can't hear the sounds coming from across the very narrow dorm hallway.
Which is more than can be said for he himself, forced to bear silent witness to every moan, laugh, and gasp, along with the background noise of a bunk bed trying to accomodate two relatively large, active male bodies at once. Even he can't successfully not notice the racket being made.
It's not that he hasn't tried to think of a way out of this teen-hormone hell. He could alert the security office to a non-student still visiting after hours, but that would definitely be pushing Tachibana too far, and he would no doubt get in trouble for letting it happen on his watch - frequently, as it would come out. He could bang on the door and wake everybody up, but that would only alert the entire floor to what the hell's going on, and while Matsuoka might be able to gracefully handle some ribbing at swim practice, Seijuurou's sure he'd be putting his life in his hands exposing the temperamental boy mid-coitus. His hands are tied. Tachibana's playing to win, here.
As a last resort, he's taken to calling Matsuoka's phone number over and over. If he can just get one-on-one with the redhead, so much more easily embarrassed than his partner, he can put a wrench in the works, he's sure of it.
He doesn't even realize the sounds from across the hall have stopped, so startled is he when the phone is actually picked up. "Matsuoka?" barks Seijuurou, incredulous. On his floor, Nitori's eyes widen, watching. Seijuurou just barely elects not to notice that this means the boy never put any music on, and has been instead listening intently to the sweet sounds of senpai, the R-rated soundtrack.
"It's captain Tachibana," comes a slightly worn-out voice. "Actually."
It comes out far more panicked than Seijuurou would like when he half-demands, half-squawks, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"You told me to be firm." He can almost hear the shrug. "That was your advice - captain to captain, right?"
Seijuurou's mouth falls open in shock. He's underestimated Tachibana grievously. He switches tact, voice becoming an aggressive growl. If Tachibana wants captain from hell, he'll get captain from hell. "If you two don't knock it off, I'll kick in that door and drag you both out into the quad by your - "
"Do you want my advice, captain to captain?" Tachibana interrupts, and Seijuurou curses himself for thinking Tachibana would respond to force. Now he gets where all those stupid killer whale jokes came from. He really wishes he didn't. "My advice, is that you're not going to get Kou-chan's number making threats."
Seijuurou considers himself a practical guy. He knows when he's been beat, because losing is part and parcel of being in any sport. He also knows that sometimes, you learn better lessons in defeat than victory.
He's certainly learned his lesson about Captain Tachibana Makoto, and how far he's willing to go to get what he wants.
Maybe he can salvage some part of this situation, though - he still has plenty of leverage to work with, after all.
"Why don't we make a deal, captain?"
"Fine. Tomorrow, after joint practice." Tachibana's voice is suddenly pulled far away from the mobile. "Feeling better, Rin? - Oh, it's just Haru-chan. It's thunderstorming at home, he wanted to make sure I stayed here for the night! Pretty thoughtful, huh? - Want me to dry your hair for you?"
As pissed as Seijuurou is, as much as he's dreading the poor grades he's going to get on both of his exams tomorrow, he has got to admit - Tachibana's damn good.
In the end, the deal is pretty anticlimactic. Seijuurou agrees to stop butting in on Tachibana and Matsuoka's relationship in exchange for just the first three digits of Gou-kun's number. As the loser of their captain's game, the Samezuka captain also forfeits the security code to Samezuka's pool and his ID card, as well as agreeing to fit the bill for not one, but four expensive date nights at any venue of their choosing. They shake on it, and Seijuurou resolves to get those last four coveted digits off of somebody else - anybody else. That Tachibana guy is just too weird.
"Do you think I should go over there, oniichan?" Gou fusses at her brother, helping him stretch his calves out. "I'm the manager, I need to be a part of important decisions for the club, too! What do you think they're talking about? Oniichan?"
Rin's red eyes flicker sideways, to the two captains shaking hands, and he smirks. "Don't worry about it." His voice is a little hoarse, from all that exaggerated moaning and yelling. No one's that loud in bed, seriously. "It's probably just captain stuff."