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“Yamada-sensei,” Denki demands one day, stalking into the empty classroom. “You and Aizawa-sensei are married, right?”
Yamada-sensei blinks slowly. “Huh?” he asks weakly. Denki rolls their eyes.
“You and Aizawa-sensei,” they repeat. “You two are married, right?”
“Oh,” Yamada-sensei nods. “Yeah.” And then, “Wait. How did you figure it out? Did I wear my ring on accident? I will buy your silence, Kaminari, I’ll buy it so hard you don’t understand—”
“Hey!” Denki scowls. “I’m not going to tell anyone if you don’t want me to, sensei. By the way, if you are trying to keep it on the DL, maybe don’t act like that around him in public.”
Yamada-sensei laughs nervously. “Like how?”
Denki’s scowl drops into a more easygoing-grin—the kind that’s usually on their face naturally. “It’s too much to explain,” Denki waves their hand dismissively. “Anyways… How do I ask someone out?”
They twiddle their fingers, gold eyes locking with Yamada-sensei’s for a second, before eyes firmly glueing to the ground. “I just—since you’re married, I figured you knew how to deal with this romance stuff. I tried asking Kayama-sensei, but she just ended up telling me the story about how she met Miss Joke. It was a pretty nice story, but it didn’t help,” Denki admits.
With a resigned sigh, Yamada-sensei leans back on the chalkboard. “The thing is, Kaminari, I didn’t do any of the romancing. I’m a sweet-talker, sure, but not much of a confessor. Too scared of rejection. Shouta is the one that asked me out!”
Denki blows a stray strand of hair out of his face. “Who are you trying to ask out, anyways?” Yamada-sensei asks, moving to wipe off the chalk from his chalkboard. Denki looked away sharply, before inhaling.
“Hanta. I really wanna ask Hanta on a date, and she’s way out of my league but I’m dying here,” Denki lets out in a rush.
“We’ve all been there,” Yamada-sensei pats Denki’s back sympathetically.
“I’m going to die, Mina. Die.”
Mina pats Denki’s back. What is up with people doing that? “You’ll be fine. Sero likes you a lot, I doubt she’ll say anything even wh—I mean, if she rejects you!”
“No, no, you were right the first time,” Denki groans into their pillow. “She is going to reject me. I’m such a loser, with my dumb hair and my dumb personality and my dumb… dumminess. Hanta’s an angel, we don’t deserve her.”
They both nod. “Hanta-chan is pretty angelic,” Mina hums. “Come on, I have an idea…”
“Hanta-chan,” Mina whines out. “Come on,” she tugs at Hanta’s sleeve. “We need to consider this! How long can you hang upside down for? Can you do it like Spiderman? It’s such an old superhero from before Quirks existed, but it’s a valid question! I already bet with Eiji that you could do it for more than five minutes, so, uhm...” Mina tries for a grin.
Denki’s facepalming from where they’re hiding. This isn’t going to end well.
“I can definitely do it for more than five minutes!” Hanta says, shooting a long strip of tape, sticking it to the ceiling. A few other pieces stick that strip onto the ceiling. “For extra security,” Hanta says, before gripping the strip of tape closest to her and lifting herself up.
“Cool!” Mina gushes. “So… What’dyou think of Denki-chan?”
“Denki?” Hanta sputters for a few seconds, almost letting go of the tape. “They’re pretty… pretty cool! Haha…” Hanta trails off. “I dunno. I’ve kind of had a crush on them for a few months now.” Denki’s heart just died. Right there. Rest in peace, Kaminari Denki. “I’m pretty sure they got a hopeless crush on Jirou, though. Jirou’s pretty gay for Yao-momo though so I’m not too worried.”
That nearly makes Denki gag. A crush on Jirou Kyouka? Gross. Kyouka’s like, some weird sister they wish they never had but still like and are unexplainably fond over. It’s horrible.
Mina hums. “Understandable. Have a nice day! I’ll be right back, I kinda need to pee.”
“Ah, alright,” Hanta calls from where she hangs. It’s silent for about two seconds before Denki can’t take it anymore.
“Hanta!” Denki calls, cringing at the crack in their voice. “What’cha doing?”
“Hanging around,” Hanta responds. “Mina made a bet with Eijirou for how long I could stand like this. It’s pretty fun, actually. You’re a lot shorter than I remember, though…” Hanta trails off. Denki scowls.
“Meanie,” they huff. Hanta laughs.
It’s silent for a little while longer before Denki breaks.
“I, uhm…” they swallow a little. “I kind of, uh, like you. And I also kinda wanna date you. Yeah.”
This was such a bad idea. Denki can feel their soul (what’s left of it) ascending out of their body and plummeting down into the ninth circle. This is unfair and it’s all Mina’s damn fault and now Denki will never to not associate tape with heartbreak ever again—
Hanta blinks, and nearly lets go of the tape. “Fuck!” she cries out, before grabbing on to the tape at the last second. Their faces are so close, and Denki’s dying. Denki is actually dead, still dead from hearing Hanta admit she has a crush on them.
“Okay,” Hanta is quiet. “Imma be honest, was not expecting this to happen while I was hanging from the ceiling. But it’s chill? When and where?”
Denki blinks. “I wasn’t expecting this to actually work? I, uh,” Denki is literally running completely on impulse. Hanta’s face is so close, and they’re dying, so…
“Can I, uh, kiss you?”
Hanta’s face turns a pretty shade of pink. “I’d say yes, but I’m kind of hanging upside down right now? Gimme like, three more minutes and it should all be cool and we can do that.”
“Hanging upside down and kissing don’t have to be mutually exclusive!” Denki blurts out, and before they can stop themselves, leans in and kisses Hanta, as she’s hanging on the ceiling and trying not to fall. It’s really nice, actually, because Hanta’s wearing some nice smelling minty chapstick and smells like summer (which sounds horrible because summer doesn’t have a smell but if it did Denki will bet on it smelling like Hanta) and her lips are soft.
The only problem is that Hanta falls off right on top of Denki and the kiss is cut off.
“Oh my God, Denki, you can’t just do that, warn a girl before you go off on doing shit like that!” Hanta squeals out, face cherry red.
Mina walks on the scene, of Hanta and Denki both on the floor.
“NO!” she shouts, falling to her knees. “I actually bet on you! Now I owe Eiji three outings to the burger place!” Mina whines out.
Is it bad Denki doesn’t feel sorry?