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I Don't Know How

Summary:

There's a voicemail on the answering machine that Dave doesn't expect.

Work Text:

“’And who the fuck shops for food at five pm on a Thursday’, he said,” Dave murmured to himself, flipping on the lights in the apartment, “this asshole does, that’s who.”

Karkat was at work, and they officially ran out of food this morning before he’d left. He had reminded Dave to go shopping every day since that Sunday, but he’d had work to do all week, and he’d slept in until three today. He had the day off, so why not? Going shopping at five o’ clock at night wasn’t unreasonable. It wasn’t even dark yet.

He threw his keys down on the end table, and his eyes caught the answering machine blinking. He raised an eyebrow – they didn’t get very many calls on their house phone. In fact, he often questioned why they kept paying for the thing; who the fuck even uses answering machines anymore? Picking up the phone, he dialed the voicemail.

“You have one new message,” it alerted him. He hit the ‘play’ button.

“Hey –“ the signal must’ve been weak; the call was distorted, but the voice was eerily familiar, “hey, lil’ man, it’s me, Bro –“

Dave dropped the phone. How the fuck did his brother get his number? He swallowed, bending over to pick it up off of the ground, and hit the ‘end call’ button. His hands were shaking. He put the phone back onto the base.

He felt dizzy. Steadying himself on the end table, he threaded a hand through his hair. It stuck to his fingers; his palms were sweaty. There was a feeling welling in his chest, a dull ache. His throat felt tight.

“I’m fine,” he muttered, trying to ignore the fear welling up inside of him. The palms of his hands started to sting. He’s gonna come here, he thought, panicked, he’s gonna come get me.

“Shut the fuck up,” he hissed to himself, rubbing his temples. He tried to take a deep breath, but it was shaky. It didn’t help. The more he stood there, the worse it got. He started to pace. The tremors in his hands were getting worse.

He walked into the bedroom, in the corner of the room by Karkat’s side of the bed. He put his back against the wall, sinking down into a seated position. Raising his hands to either side of his head, he buried his face in his knees. His face contorted into a grimace, and tears started to fall down his cheeks. He tried to hold them back, but they spilled over. They felt hot against his skin. The fast breaths coming out of his nose burned his nostrils. He pushed his shades up into his hair, rubbing his eyes. He tightened his hands into fists. He’s coming to get me, he’s coming to get me, he’s coming to get me, he thought in a mantra. His body begged him to jump into action. I need to protect myself, his head told him.

Somewhere in the apartment, a door slammed shut. Dave flinched. He’s here, he’s coming for me

“Dave? Where the fuck are you? Why are the groceries still in the car?” a voice yelled, but Dave couldn’t hear it over the buzzing in his ears. The door to the bedroom swung open. Karkat walked in.

“Where the hell – hey, what’s . . . what’s wrong?” His voice grew surprisingly soft as he said this; it rung with concern. He seemed to bristle at first, as if he didn’t know what to do. But, it didn’t take long to set in, and he rushed over to Dave’s side, squeezing into the corner with him and wrapping his arms around his boyfriend in one swift motion. Karkat was warm. Dave didn’t lean into him at first; he felt stupid. He was freaking out over nothing. He was supposed to be stronger.

“Hey, shhh,” Karkat whispered, “you’re okay.”

“I’m – it’s just –“ Dave tried to explain himself, but his voice was hoarse and broken.

“You’re okay. It’s okay.”

Finally, he gave in. Dave leant over, bending down to press his face into Karkat’s shoulder. He let his body shake. He let the tears fall.

“He’s – he’s gonna – “

“He’s not going to do anything. I’m here.”

If he wasn’t so preoccupied with the panic quite literally rushing through his veins, Dave may have wondered if Karkat knew what was going on. It didn’t matter, though – because he was there. He wasn’t going anywhere.

Karkat peppered his face with kisses. Dave held him as hard as he could. Love didn’t make the panic go away, but . . . in that moment, Dave didn’t really care. He could wait this out in his boyfriend’s arms.

“I love you,” Karkat whispered.

Dave didn’t need to reply.