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English
Series:
Part 1 of Z. v. mirabilis
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Published:
2014-02-22
Updated:
2014-02-21
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2,096
Chapters:
2/?
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Tony Stark's Lists

Summary:

Assorted bits and pieces of a somewhat parallel universe, which with any luck will get me to actually get more of this series down into computer memory and out of my head.

Chapter 1: Reasons Why the Avengers Are And Should Remain Based Out Of Tony's Malibu Mansion

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Reasons Why the Avengers Are And Should Remain Based Out Of Tony's Malibu Mansion

to be presented to Maria Hill

  • Well, Tony offered.
    And intends to pay all expenses. --PP
  • It's closer to a lot of nothing much, in case we need to drop Bruce off somewhere where the Hulk won't break people or national monuments.
  • It's easier to deal with the Malibu City Council than New York's mayor and council.
    Well, maybe for Pepper. --Tony
    (What do you know? You've never been the one to deal with either of them. --BW)
  • It's easier for Cap to deal with living in a swanky up-to-date area he only shot by on his tours than with a New York City that's different.
    Not only have the Dodgers moved into the area, but one of his few remaining friends and her husband live nearby.
    It's very kind of you, and certainly the weather's gentler than in Florida, but you didn't need to arrange for us to exchange retirement homes. -- Emily Elliston Reed-Pollifax
    (Nonsense! The cottage's been empty since Jarvis -- Dad's former butler, not JARVIS the program -- lived there, except for when I practiced running electronics down to it. Can't think of a better use for it. --Tony)
    *So JARVIS is a backronym? --BB*
    -Well, OBVIOUSLY. --Jubilee-
    (Ditto. --Tony)   =Stet. --BW=
    [Actually, I wish the Dodgers had stayed home, but I really appreciate all the effort you've put yourself to for me. -- CSteve]
  • It's nearer to Dr. Foster.
    I'm not certain whether that's meant to be an advantage or not. --BW
    (I'M not certain why Thor expected Jane Foster to put her social life on hold for him for over a year, after having known each other for what, three days? Four? Even I'm not that amazing a kisser, and I've been known to draw people into some wild stunts in my time. --Tony)
    *Nevertheless, his attempts to court Dr. Foster properly and compete for her hand, when he can neither do so by battling his rivals or by other feats of physical strength, have helped accustom him to our country and its dominant culture. --PP*
  • It's nearer to Mt. St. Hillary and the denizens of its vicinity.
    I still can't believe Obie got us to distance ourselves from each other like that. --Tony
    (You were grieving. -- BW)
    Yes, but still-- I should have seen, I should have noticed--
    *Well, now you know. --PP*
    -If it helps, the night of your big confrontation I'd about decided that the next day I was going to go down to SI's front door and throw sparks until you actually came and talked to me. --Jubilee-
    *I'm sure we, the police, and your former teammates are all glad it didn't come to that. --PP*
    =I thought it was Mt. St. Helens? --Cap=
    That's in Washington State. --Tony
  • NYC already is home to SHIELD's land headquarters in UNIT's old American offices, the Fantastic Four, Daredevil, the Ghostbusters, the no-longer-teenage Ninja Turtles, the Morlocks (for what they're worth), the postal address of Dr. Strange's Sanctum Sanctorum, the Falcon, and within stick-one's-head-up-and-see-what-the-shouting's-about distance of both the Sub-Mariner and the X-Men.
    If all of them, with or without the Helicarrier, can't hold whatever it is off long enough for the Quinjet to get there, the Avengers are probably better used falling back for a second or third wave anyway.

    • Notes:

    As you can see, the lineup of these Avengers is... slightly different.