Chapter Text
Luffy woke with a gasp, and he shot up into a sitting position. He was breathing hard like he'd run a marathon, and his body was shaking, reacting to his fear and adrenaline. Panicking, he glanced around, not quite sure where he was, and then he remembered: he was safe, aboard the Thousand Sunny, with his crew. He looked down at his hands, which were clasping the sheets in a white knuckled grip, practically hyperventilating as he relived what he had been dreaming about.
The raven haired captain could still hear the screams, could still see the blood. The smell of burning flesh lingered in his nostrils. He shook his head doggedly, trying to get rid of the horrible memories, but still the scene raged on behind his eyes. A tall, red and white clad admiral, turning to stare fiercely at Luffy. The attack of glowing lava that Luffy was too weak to dodge. Then suddenly the light was blocked. He looked up to see the blood, the fist protruding from his brother's chest, the tortured expression on Ace's face.
Luffy clamped his eyes shut, grabbing his head, but still the flashbacks came. His brother collapsed, and the rubber boy caught him before he hit the ground. The admiral laughed, declaring his victory, and then Ace was talking. He was apologizing, thanking. "Thank you for loving me." Those words. Not those words again. Then the older brother fell, seemingly in slow motion, landing with a sick, wet sound upon the stone.
Red beads, the color of blood, clanked and bounced.
The laughter echoed.
Luffy's heart was pounding, making him feel light headed. He opened his eyes and stared at his trembling hands. 'Oh Ace...' he thought. 'Why couldn't I save you? Why did you have to die?' He stayed like that, rubbing the aching scar on his chest, and felt all the pain and grief all over again. Injustice, sadness, anger, disbelief. Why couldn't he have been stronger back then? His eyes burned, but he didn't cry. He was tougher now. Besides, Ace wouldn't want him to cry.
After a time, he didn't know how long, Luffy's heart rate slowed down and his breathing returned to normal. The feelings were still there, but they were muted, bearable. Ace had been gone two years now. The straw hat captain was used to the pain, had accepted it, although vivid nightmare's like this one always brought the emotions back full force. Luffy sighed and swung his legs over the side of the bed, slipping his sandals on in the process. He wasn't going to fall back asleep any time soon, so he might as well go up on deck.
Stepping out onto the Sunny's grassy deck, the mugiwara stopped and closed his eyes, inhaling deeply. The cold night air cleared his head, waking him up a bit more and forcing the lingering fear away. He let the breath out slowly, relishing the peace, and turned to walk toward the kitchen. After all that...heat...a cool glass of water sounded like the best thing in the world.
Unfortunately, Luffy had forgotten the traps that his cook, Sanji, had set up in order to keep late night thieves away from the kitchen. As soon as his he pushed the door open, he heard a soft scraping sound, and then he was flying though the air, landing halfway across the deck. He grunted as he landed, glaring up at the giant hammer (where did Sanji even get that?) that was swinging from the top of the door frame. A loud bang suddenly sounded from inside the men's dormitory, and then Sanji himself burst though the door onto the deck, scowling. Immediately, he found his captain and made a beeline toward him, growling dangerously.
" Baka, I told you to stay out of my kitchen! No sneaking in at night!"
At the sight of his nakama, Luffy couldn't help but smile, despite the fury clearly radiating from the cook. It was these people, his friends, that made him happy. They gave him the strength he needed. They gave him the will, the resolve, to keep trying. His brother was dead, and that was a horrible blow to Luffy's heart, but his nakama were still alive and kicking. That, in itself, gave him reason to live. Luffy chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Heh, heh. Sorry Sanji. I was trying to get a-"
" A WHAT?" the curly brow challenged. " More food, that's what! Cant you wait until morning?" Luffy pouted, pursing his lips.
" Sanji, relax. I was only gonna get a glass of water." Sanji barked out a harsh laugh.
" Like I'd buy that." He held out a hand, which Luffy gripped, and hoisted his captain back to his feet. The latter dusted himself off.
" It's true!" he said defensively.
" Luffy, this is YOU we're talking about, the guy that can eat enough for six people, and then some. Sorry, but I just don't believe-" He cut off. Now that he actually had a chance to look at his captain, he noticed something was...off. He narrowed his eyes, studying him. Luffy was drenched in sweat, his hair plastered to his forehead, and- god -he was shaking. Now that Sanji was looking, he could clearly see his arms and legs trembling. And yet, the rubber boy was grinning, his smile as wide as the sea.
What the hell? What on earth could scare Luffy like that? He'd seen Luffy come back from brutal fights unscathed, seen him do impossible tasks with apparent ease. So what could make him start shaking? Could it be...wait...something clicked in Sanji's head. Oh.
" Luffy, did you have a nightmare?" No point in stalling the question. Luffy's eyes shot up to meet the cook's, his smile dimming. He hesitated, making Sanji nervous, before lowering his gaze to the grass.
"Yeah..." Damn it. Whatever god decided it'd be funny to give Luffy a nightmare would pay. " But whatever, I'm okay now." His grin brightened again, and he turned to walk to the dormitory again. Sanji reached out and grabbed his captain's wrist, stopping him. No, he wanted to say, it's not okay. The things Luffy deals with on a regular basis- Crocodile, Arlong, Lucci, Eneru, Gekko Moriah, Hordy Jones, Doflamingo- are horrifying, but he still comes back on top. If something in his nightmare scared him like this, it must be beyond imagination. Luffy turned to look at him. After a moment, Sanji sighed, releasing him, and gestured to the kitchen door.
" Come on. I'll get you a snack." Luffy's eyes widened, and he laughed, starting to return to his normal, goof ball self. He dashed to the kitchen, sidestepping the giant hammer, and Sanji followed.
It only took a few minutes for Sanji, as the brilliant cook he is, to whip up a piece of steak for the mugiwara. Luffy began to tear into it immediately, forsaking the use of utensils, and finished it quickly. The blond haired cook looked on with mild amazement. No matter how long he cooked for this boy, he would never get used to how quickly- and messily- he could consume large amounts of food. He set a tall glass of water in front of Luffy as he finished his precious meat, lighting a cigarette while he waited for him to chug it down.
" Wow Sanji!" Exclaimed Luffy when he was finished, smacking his lips. " That was amazing! You're the best cook in the whole world!" Usually, a compliment like that would have flattered Sanji, although he didn't show it. Tonight however, he was fed up with Luffy pretending he was okay. He felt like either slapping him, or giving him a hug. He did neither. Instead, he took Luffy's plate and glass and placed them in the sink. Luffy tried to sneak away behind his back, muttering another 'thank you', but Sanji snapped around and gripped the boy's shoulders. Resisting the urge to force him back into the chair like he'd originally intended, he gently guided him to the chair, sitting down opposite him so they were facing each other.
" Talk to me, Lu," he said softly. " What was your nightmare about?" He watched as Luffy's face rippled though a slew of emotions: perplexity, anger, confusion, unimaginable sadness. He finally settled on a blank, unreadable face, now completely serious where seconds before, he'd been a total joker. Somehow, that empty expression scared Sanji more than any emotion ever could. Silence followed, so Sanji tried again. " What scared you so much?" Luffy stared out into space, remembering whatever horrible secret was in his head, before finally meeting the other's gaze.
" It was about Ace." He said breathlessly. Sanji's breath hitched. No one ever talked about that. No one ever asked, and he didn't divulge; they all knew how painful it had been for him. He'd lost his brother, for heaven's sake. He should've known. Of course his nightmare would be about that. The cook furrowed his brow, thinking. What did he know about the War? Practically nothing, just what he'd read from news papers. He knew it was brutal, that Whitebeard and countless others had died. He knew Ace had been killed by the Admiral named Akainu, who had the powers of the Magu Magu no mi, the lava devil fruit. That was pretty much it, there weren't many details in the papers. From the picture of Ace though, his death had been...horrific. He could only imagine what Luffy was going through.
" Do you want to talk about it?" Sanji asked gently. He rolled the cigarette between his teeth, waiting patiently for an answer. Luffy flinched- actually flinched -and shook his head.
" No. Not right now, at least." He paused. " I need some time to think about it first. I haven't had a dream like this in a while, and I forgot how...scary it is." Now it was Sanji's turn to flinch. He's had dreams like this before, and none of the crew noticed? What kind of people were they? It made him wonder how many other things their captain could be hiding, what kind of things he was dealing with on his own. Luffy continued speaking.
" I think...I can talk about it tomorrow." Sanji stared long and hard at his captain. Although his shaking hadn't completely stopped, he looked a lot better. He was less pale, more steady on his feet. A moment passed, and then another.
" I'm gonna hold you to that," he stated. He exhaled, a plume of smoke shooting toward the kitchen. Luffy nodded slowly.
" Fine." He took a deep breath, and suddenly, impossibly, he was grinning again. " Thanks so much for the meat, Sanji, it was awesome. Good night! Er, again!" He chuckled, and then he was gone, the door swinging in his wake.
Sanji sat there for a long time, thinking. What Luffy had been through, alone, was beyond awful. None of his crew had been there for him, been there to help him through it. Then, to top it off, he'd been isolated on an island for two years, with nothing but Raleigh, his training and his thoughts. He'd never had a chance to talk about what happened with anyone, to get it out of his system, so of course he'd have nightmares about it. Nothing bothered Sanji more then the thought of not being able to help his captain, his friend, when he needed him the most.
At that moment, Sanji vowed to himself he wouldn't let Luffy carry this on his shoulders alone any longer. He would not let him be isolated in his memories. Luffy would do the same, had done the same, for all of them. He carried all his nakama's hopes, dreams and problems on his back; the least they could do is share his as well.
It was time for Luffy's pain to end. Sanji, if not everyone else, would make sure of it.