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I stand in the room, between my sister and her husband, looking at my scowling husband. It took a lot to convince him to come tonight; my final argument being what would people think to see a wife without a husband, and at that he laid down his pen and paper and left to get ready.
It wasn’t the first ball in Derbyshire, but it was my first that all my family was attending. They had all come to enjoy the spring, and find a husband for Kitty and Mary. Darcy’s business had finally slowed down long enough that they could all join us. Pemberley has been very hectic since they had come, though Lydia wasn’t here, mainly because I had to agree that I would not invite her and her husband. To be honest, I didn’t hesitate to agree.
The place is beautiful, the lights and flowers. Spring has left Derbyshire breathtaking that I love to call it home. The scents in the air, floating around as people bound around in formation, dancing so fast that all you hear is the sound of feet pounding on the floorboards and music wrapping around us all.
Us four stood in the front of the hall, under the music assembly. It was difficult to talk, the main sounds drowning out our voices, but we just had to raise them a little more to be heard.
Through the crowd, Charlotte struggles through, to where I know not. Her husband is nowhere to be seen. I love talking to her through letters, hearing from her every so often. She reminds me of the time we all lived together in Meryton, instead of strewn apart by marriage, but now we are all equally happy as when we were young, so there is not much to complain about.
I move to stand by husband, walking behind Jane to his side, linking my arm through his. He looks down at me and a small smile shows, though it isn’t obvious, but it disappears as Lydia and Wickham walk through the doors.
“Did you invite them to town?” He lowers his head down, his deep voice reaching me. I can sense the uncomfortability in his tone. He was already off because of the people he was not acquainted with, and now with Wickham here. He is sure to want to leave in minutes to avoid a scene.
“It wasn’t me, my love.” I respond, staring them down in curiosity. It was a public ball, anyone was welcome. But it was strange that they had come when he was stationed so far North. Lydia’s mouth was moving non-stop and I could see the blatant annoyance on Wickham’s face. I still wondered why he did run off with her, but not out of jealousy of course—I have even asked Darcy, as he was the one who had found them, but he said he did not ask Wickham anything of that nature.
I patted his arm and release it, walking over to my younger sister. Her face lights up upon seeing me and I let her wrap her arms around my neck as I return her hug. “Lydia, you’re here.” I say, trying to keep the surprise out of my voice.
“The travel was so boring,” She whispers into my ear before untangling her arms from my neck. Then, out loud, she says politely, "How have you been, Lizzie?"
“I have been well,” I respond, wondering if I should ask how she knew to come.
“As have I,” She starts in before I can say anything, “I keep asking Papa to send Kitty along, so I can find her a husband but he always tells me ‘no’,” She wrinkles her nose. “Why, if it wasn’t for Kitty, I wouldn’t have known about our family gathering up in Derbyshire—did you forget about your married sister, Lizzie?” She asks pointedly, a smirk on her face. “Well, no offense was taken I assure, for I even told my Husband that the letter must have gotten lost and I am so grateful to Mr. Darcy that we surely had to come, you know,” she turns away from me then and stare around the place.
I always felt most out-of-sorts with Lydia. I don’t know if it’s because she reminded me of a viper at time or because she was so self-involved, but even talking to her was exhausting. The way she held a conversation was more like she was talking to herself, answering her own questions without a breath or courtesy for the other person involved.
“Oh, there’s Kitty!” Lydia exclaims, brushing by me. Well, I guess she had a nice talk.
I look across the now dancing crowd and see Darcy with his eyes on me. Darcy and I were very affectionate towards each other, but only when there were no eyes around. Although, except when Mr. Bingley and Jane are around. He’ll grab my hand in front of them and we have even gone on walks together, when the visit. But in here, it would be awkward in front of so many people that we don’t know, so we usually just stay near each other. He told me once, that on these occasions, having me close keeps him happy but now we were separated by the crowd of dancers, but I send him a smile and he turns back to his conversation with Mr. Bingley and Jane.
As I stare at the dancers, men and women smiling like there is no tomorrow, whirling around and the laughter, I can’t help but fill the itch in my feet. Oh, I want to dance. I glance at my husband again, and the music dies down, the partners coming to a stop. Everyone claps at the songs end and I race through the throngs of people, navigating back to my husband’s side.
I can tell he is happy to have me back, because his arm loops around my waist, holding me close to him.
"I want to dance." I tell him, looking up into his green eyes, hoping to get my way.
He quirks a smirk before letting me down, "No."
“I want to dance tonight, Darcy,” I warn him, as he looks at me, pulling me tighter to him, getting close to my ear as the noise builds up in the room from all the conversing.
“Then go dance, my love.” He lets me go and I, with a pout, walk over to Jane, who was watching us bicker.
"Jane?" I ask her, as her hand falls into mine, “Would you mind terribly sparing your husband for a dance?” She laughs at my request. It was such a simple question and I barely have to wait for an answer as Mr. Bingley offers his arm to me straight away.
There was so much openness now between us all. Even Darcy’s and Mr. Bingley’s friendship was more open since the engagements. Mr. Bingley walked me to the couples getting lined up, I even see Kitty standing as well. I smile at Mr. Bingley and curtsy and the instruments began.
I spared a glance to my husband, to see if my revenge was working, but of course, he was unfazed.
My feet must have had the steps memorized, though it wasn’t surprising. I loved to dance. It’s one of the few non-similarities me and my Husband have. I twirled with the people, Mr. Bingley missed a few steps, but my enjoyment was undeterred. Dancing and sharing the joy of dancing was inspiring happiness. I felt my face grow flush but not even that stopped as the music moved into another dance. Mr. Bingley waved me on and stepped out of the line, as another took his place and I continued, the laughter tumbling out of me.
Darcy came to fetch me before another one could start, "How can you dance all night long? How do you keep going?" He asks me, pulling me back to our corner, where Mr. Bingley had returned to my lovely sister.
"I just do,” I answered, “Dancing is so spectacular!" I exclaimed, a smile as big as the waning moon had to be on my face as I look at the continuing dancers.
“You look as if dancing is air." He quips but I feel that as a jab.
“Dancing is not needed to live, but it is enjoyable. The only thing that could make it more so is that if my husband were to join me.” I reply. He settles his arm around me again, and it calms me down. Even if I shouldn’t wish to calm so easily, I can’t help it.
I feel his breath next to my ear, "you know that I will do anything for you,” he says, and I know it to be true after all he did in the past, “but, I am also very shy.” I know this as well. .
"Remember when you first proposed to me?" I asked thinking about how he had barely gotten past his wall of shyness and the way his words twisted his intentions at the church on that rainy day.
"The day that Miss Elizabeth Bennet rejected me in accusations, how could I not?" He responded, a faint smile touched his lips. “You said that you would never be prevailed upon to marry me." He laughed, the memory was no longer a bruise but something we can look back upon.
In the noise of the room, as Jane and Mr. Bingley danced in the center, the laughter surrounding them happily, I let a confession fall from my lips. "That was when I first realized I fancied you.” I said and I know he was looking down at me, whether in shock or surprise, I don’t know as I continue to look forward. “I didn’t realize it of course. There were so many lies tangled around us.” I continue on, “I thought that I had already lost you." I finish and look at him. His eyes were sparkling in the lights decorating the shabby hall and the air around him seemed to glow. I bet he would kiss me if he could.
“Lizzie,” his whisper tickles me, “I think I would like to go home.” I try very hard to hide a smile.
“Without a dance?” I ask, pulling away from him slightly, knowing his intentions but I hate passing up the chance to tease him a bit.
He gets closer to me again, leaning in to whisper, “I’ll throw you a ball, Lizzie.” He jests as he walks me around the crowd, taking me home.