Archive of Our Own ^beta

Park Jimin, former high school nerd, current college student in need of Jesus. Or Buddha. Or whoever is listening, really. His major? Korean, because he was very connected to his motherland...or something. At least that's what he reasoned but his ultimate goal was to become a translator, live a few years in his motherland, or his mother's land, then come back to his home in LA and work as an instructor of Korean, English and help translate for the poor unfortunate souls who need their daily dose of Korean dramas for major TV channels internationally.

But tonight Park Jimin was on his way to watch a movie with his friends, the new horror movie "It" had just come out and any subconscious fear of clowns he's ever had is ready to emerge. He was ready to sleep with the lights on and suffer from indigestion because popcorn makes him feel funny but it just tastes oh so good.

He was pulled out of his thoughts by a voice calling from behind. He couldn't hear what the voice had said because of the music blasting in his ears at a volume that was probably going to make him go deaf at some point in the future. But that day was not today. He asked for them to repeat, but as he turned around to face the source of the voice, he heard the doors of heaven open and a voice that probably belonged to Buddha say something along the lines of "Here's something to fuck up your plans, good luck. Xoxo." Because only a deity could've sent him someone like this.

The source of the voice was a boy, couldn't have been far from him in age. He was tall, slightly taller than him but tall enough to make him feel tiny, cute and ready to be lifted into his arms like a princess as said stranger took him to a far away land to live happily ever after. If he even believed in happily ever after anymore, that would have been a nice idea way to get there.

His skin was dark, tanned. It almost had a bright bronze tint to it, like whatever material his skin was made of was too precious and expensive for him to be walking amongst mere mortals. His nose was tall, long, as it suited the overall structure of his face while his eyes were big, deep, shaped like almonds. And his lips were pretty, long and just the right amount of thick. Overall he was what Jimin would have called his type at some point in his life.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you. But I just lost my phone, I think it was stolen! I was wondering if I could use your phone to call my insurance or something?” And there it was, the voice of said heaven-sent boy seemed more like it came from a much darker place. It was deep and rich, not at all what Jimin had expected.

“Oh…I-I right, sure of course! I’m so sorry about that. What kind of phone was it?” Jimin couldn’t imagine being nearly as put together as this boy if he lost his phone. He’d probably have been in tears by now. Panicking, giving up on life, being eaten alive by wild coyotes because he'd lost his way home, or worse, having to ask real people for directions.

"Huh ..the new Samsung Galaxy.. and I don't have the ‘Find My Phone’ option set or anything like that.." As he talked, Jimin could see the sweat dripping down his forehead. Tough day.

"Damn, okay yeah sure. What did you need my phone for though?" Not because he was suspicious, he seemed like a nice guy. He was just confused.

"Ah haha I have this number for my insurance so that I can kind of get a new phone. I think my phone was stolen when I was taking a nap over there...I just got it yesterday." He chuckled nervously.

Wait hold up... a nap? In the middle of the street? He glanced over to where he pointed and saw a small park with a tree. It looked cozy enough he supposed, but this certainly did make the boy look a little crazy.

"Well uh.. okay sure go ahead, you can use my phone!"

He handed over his phone but the boy declined, saying he'd rather Jimin hold the phone and put it on speaker instead. As the handsome but oddly confused boy started his call with the insurance company, Jimin took his time to rethink his life choices.

Was fate playing a trick on him? Giving him this lost boy to deal with when he can't even deal with himself? He'd sworn himself off of dating because what's the point? Guys are all the same. They look cute at first, but then you talk and there's nothing else there. Jimin knew better.

He had friends, enough of them. A boyfriend wouldn't make sense in his life so admiring someone's beauty is all he could do. So cute boys are just cute, and that's the end of it for him.

Distracted by the boy in front of him shouting into the speaker of his phone because of the noise of the streets, he didn't notice the bus he was waiting for pass by. Jimin glanced over and reached as if to catch the bus with his imaginary telekinesis as it drove away leaving him behind. Perfect. That's how life pays you for your good deeds, Jimin.

The boy on the phone widened his eyes and mouthed "Was that your bus?" in a loud whisper, horrified.

Jimin simply nodded, it wasn't the boy's fault at all. Bad timing, it's all. But now what was he gonna do? He was going to be late for his movie.

"Shit I'm so sorry! I made you miss your bus!" The golden skinned boy said as he hung up the phone.

"It's okay...I can just take the next one." Jimin responded, keeping a smile on his face. "Did you resolve your problem?"

"Oh right. Yeah they said since I just got it and I have insurance, they'll just replace my phone tomorrow." Responded the boy.

"Ah I'm glad it's all solved now. So you said you were taking a nap by that tree? Is everything okay?" Questioned Jimin suspiciously.

"Oh I was driving home and I got kind of sleepy...that tree reminded me of how I grew up in the summer! It seemed comfortable, so I decided it was safer to take a break." He smiled sheepishly as he offered Jimin a somewhat reasonable explanation.

"I mean ..okay. But if you had slept in your car instead you wouldn't have lost your phone, right?" Jimin concluded cheekily.

"Yeah you're right." The boy sighed as he contemplated on the incident. "But it's okay now thanks to you! You're my savior!" He said as he raised his arms in an exaggerated cheer.

Jimin blushed slightly. "Oh come on. I'm sure you'd have done the same in my shoes." He tried to dismiss his compliments helplessly, because in a perfect world he'd like to think that's true.

"Wow and you're also modest! Do you just go around your day doing good deeds like this?" teased the boy with a wink.

Jimin's blush deepened. "Oh my God, stop it." He giggled to himself.

"So does my savior have a name?"

"Oh! Right," chuckled Jimin as he realized they'd been talking without knowing each other's names. "I'm Jimin, nice to meet you in this sort of unusual way?"

"Oh Jimin! I'm Taehyung! So you're Korean too?"

"Yeah I am! How come you don't have an English name?" inquired Jimin.

"Ah my parents have this thing where they think that it's a good way to keep my identity and to motivate me to become someone important so that people will make an effort to learn to pronounce my name. You know, if I'm important enough, they just will have to do it!" Responded the golden skinned boy, now named Taehyung, proudly.

"Oh! That's so true! Honestly my parents just picked an easy name that was Korean enough. I also have an English name but I hate it so I prefer if people call me Jimin," explained Jimin shyly.

"Oh, dude! I'm sure your English name must be just as nice as your Korean one but I'll call you whatever you prefer." Taehyung offered as he extended his hand for a friendly handshake.

Jimin took his hand but quickly realized how much time had passed and took a look at his phone clock. "Oh damn! Look at the time, I really have to get going..."

"Oh, right! You were waiting for your bus! I'm so sorry, I ended up making you miss it and now you're late! Where were you going anyway?" Taehyung looked really apologetic but shit happens. Jimin couldn't really blame him.

"I was on my way to the movies with my friends, it's the Chinese Theater in Hollywood. It's totally okay, if I call a lyft I could still make it on time," Jimin said as he smiled. Taehyung noticed as his eyes disappeared while his cheeks looked as adorable as a baby's butt. He looked soft, gentle and so lovable.

"Oh listen I know we just met and all, but how about I take you there? I don't have to go home yet and it's the least I could do for the trouble you've gone through because of me!" Taehyung tried to hide the hopeful glimmer in his eyes, making sure to keep his best intentions at front.

"Oh you really don't have to!" His mom taught him to not take offers right away, it's rude. But really, a ride is indeed the least he could. That's definitely not because he wants to spend more time with the boy next to him. Nope, that's not it at all. He hoped Taehyung would take the hint.

"No really, I insist! Let's go, it's no trouble at all!" Taehyung said as he pulled Jimin by the arm towards his car. He looked too harmless, Jimin couldn't refuse him. He followed him to his car as he allowed him to take him to his plans. He knew better than to leave his friends waiting.

--------

As Jimin arrived only 5 minutes late (exclamation mark he might add!) he could see the clear annoyance in his friends' faces. That, however, quickly faded when they noticed that he wasn't in a Lyft car.

"Thank you so much for taking me here again, Taehyung," said Jimin as Taehyung parked on the side of the road to help Jimin out of the car.

"I should be the one thanking you! Actually if you're okay with it, can I get your phone number so that I can buy you dinner for being so helpful?" Taehyung offered as he got a pen and paper for Jimin.

"Oh no! You really don't have to do that! Seriously it's okay!" Jimin always was well-mannered boy. Accepting gifts immediately can be rude was what he learned.

"If you don't want to see me again, you could just say so..." Taehyung joked as he lightly punched Jimin in the arm.

Jimin bit his bottom lips nervously as he thought it through for a second. "Okay, okay. But only if I get to pay for my own dinner!"

"Okay, Mr. Independent-black-woman-who-don't-need-no-man-to-pay-for-her," said Taehyung as he took the paper back.

"Damn right!" He giggled as he waved back at Taehyung leaving him. Taehyung waved back and made sure to wave at both of his friends too.

The annoyance in their faces turned into curiosity as they watched Jimin approach them. "So who's that?" asked his friend Namjoon, who smirked at him while wiggling his eyebrows.

"Oh, I met him at the bus stop! I helped him cause he lost his phone so he gave me a ride," said Jimin unamused by Namjoon's insinuations.

"Are you sure that's all you helped him with?" Namjoon pressed further before being hit by Jimin.

"That's all cute and nice, but how about discussing this after the movies, boys? We are already late and I don't want to miss the beginning of the movie so let's go Oppas!" said Shannon while dragging the two boys into the theater.

"Ew Shannon, stop speaking Konglish. It's gross," teased Namjoom.

"Don't hate cause your Korean sucks," Shannon responded.

"Says the half white girl!" quipped Namjoon.

"Uh racist much? At least I don't sound like my mother dropped me on my head as a child when I order at a restaurant."

Jimin giggled as they kept bickering, all entering the room with the popcorn as Jimin stayed wondering when he'd see Taehyung again.

--------

Two days went by and Jimin had almost forgotten all about Taehyung. Almost. He had expected maybe a text or a call but he didn't know when Taehyung would get his phone back.

His friends had pestered him about him all night after the movie. Who he was, why he took him to the movies, why he didn't join them. They kept teasing him but Jimin knew better than to fall for some guy he just met. He didn't even know if he was gay, for all he knew he could have a girlfriend. Or be a murderer. Or have murdered his girlfriend and thrown away the phone as evidence to get a new phone. All very plausible possibilities.

He had learned not to be too hopeful about these things. He wasn't afraid of getting hurt, at least that's what he told himself. It's just hard not to think about a certain golden skinned boy with a goofy personality when the meeting felt so fateful.

Then came the text.

Jimin glanced over from where he was sitting on his decently comfortable sofa to the little desk in front of his feet. There lied his phone with a pikachu case, that vibrated once. He thought to check but ignored it due to how comfortable he was with his knees to his chest, sweatpants on and Oreo cookies on his hand. If he were to check his phone, he'd have to reach out for the remote on the table, then pause American Horror Story and then read, gross. That much effort on a Saturday sounded like too much work. Then came the second vibration, and he thought maybe this was important. It better be at least.

From: Unknown
Dear Jimin, we are so excited to have you join our Christian study group! It's very important to accept Jesus Christ as our lord and savior and we are glad you finally decided to join us.

Please respond to confirm to be picked up at 6 pm and provide the address as well.

"What the fuck?" He exclaimed out loud while dropping his cookie to the ground. Did he sign up for something at school without realizing? Did he accept some terms and conditions online that allowed people to steal his phone number? Or is it time to really accept Jesus as his savior? (Nah).

To: Unknown
I'm sorry but I think you have the wrong number.

From: Unknown
This is Jimin, right?

To: Unknown
Yes...this is him.

From: Unknown
Then I'm sure this is the right number. ;3

To: Unknown
Uh...Who's this?

From: Unknown
lol
[picture sent]

Jimin clicked to see a picture of Taehyung with a peace sign winking at the camera. Great lighting by the way, was this really taken with a phone? Jimin quickly decided to save the picture to his contacts while saving his number as TaeTae.

To: TaeTae
Wtf Taehyung! You really scared me! I thought I accidentally joined some kind of cult or smth...

From: TaeTae
Lol what's the fun in sending a normal text? Anyway 6 pm tonight? Got plans?

Honestly he didn't know Taehyung that well. He could be a serial killer who pretended to lose his phone to lure people into his trap then kill them slowly. Psychopaths can be quite charming. (Or so he heard). He considered taking a friend with him for safety but opted to instead send texts periodically to his friends to let him know where he is.

To: TaeTae
Okay you creep lol 6 pm it is, here's my address

From: TaeTae
See you then! ;3

He rolled his eyes as he got up from the couch, turning off the TV in the process. He turned to go to his room but not before passing by Namjoon's room to let him know what's going on.

"I think you have some sort of paranoia assuming he could be a serial killer." Namjoon concluded from his desk where he was studying for his psychology class. Not because that was his major, but because he liked to look smart and a psychology class does just that.

"Hyung, don't tease me. I'm serious, I don't know him! Just make sure to check up on me once in a while, okay?" Jimin pleaded with puppy eyes and squishy cheeks, to which Namjoon was mostly immune. (Read: mostly.)

"Okay, okay. Go get cleaned up and let me study."

Jimin complied as he headed to the bathroom to prepare for his...date? Last day on Earth? Whatever it was, he should at least look presentable, right? Gotta look even if you're dead is what his mom would always tell him. Or don't forget to brush before going to sleep, something like that.

-------

The clock marked 5:55 pm and Jimin was, expectedly, not ready yet. He took too long in the shower because "I Will Always Love You" needed that extended ending with his vocal solo. (Because singing acapella in the shower wasn't enough of a solo for him). He was rushing but he planned ahead. He had picked out his outfit. A pink hoodie, ripped blue jeans, and converse shoes that would all combine nicely into a more youthful look but still not a "look at me I'm barely legal and not really out of high school yet" look. His jeans hugged his legs accentuating his muscular thighs, while his hoodie allowed his shoulders to look broader and make him look just small enough to compete with the cuddliness of a teddy bear. All in all, he was ready to die or for a date. With wet hair.

He headed outside to be picked up and he could already see Taehyung's car parked, waiting patiently for his princess to come out. He walked towards the car as he spotted Taehyung looking down on his phone. As he got closer he could see him checking his pokedex on Pokémon Go. Mhmm that's a keeper. He gently knocked on the window not to startle him too much. Taehyung jumped slightly and quickly exited out of the app to hide in shame.

(Cute.)

Jimin made his way to the passenger side, while keeping his head low and shy smile on. This was just a thank you dinner and maybe a new friend, that's all. A new friend by the name of Taehyung.

A gorgeous new friend with golden skin. But just a friend.

He got into the car with a teasing smirk and an unreadable expression. Unreadable to Taehyung, that is.

"Hi there," he said simply. "Are you ready to go?"

"I don't know. Are you done with your Pokémon hunt?"

He couldn't help the urge to smile the minute Taehyung's face dropped a little and a light blush came over his cheeks.

"I swear I'm not as much of a nerd as I seem," he defended quickly. Too quickly.

"Taehyung, chill. I probably have more Pokémon than you anyway." He stretched his neck backward slightly while looking at Taehyung from the corner of his eyes.

"Uh excuse you, I highly doubt that!"

"Really? But my pokedex is almost full. I have 240 in total so far, how about you?" That condescending smirk still plastered on his face was enough to make Taehyung look a lot less confident.

"Oh." He paused, thought. "Maybe you have more then..but I'll catch up! Just wait and see!"

"Sure Jan. Shall we go?"

Taehyung chuckled at the use of the famous meme. "Sure how does Korean sound?"

"But Taehyung, Korean could be literally anything!" He complained and glared, but ended up looking more like a menacing teddy bear than a grown man. He didn't mind.

"Okay then, how does some Dukboki sound?"

"Ah now that's much better. Being specific is good, y'know? Let's go."

Satisfied Taehyung started up the car as Jimin wondered just what kind of guy he was.

-------

It wasn't until they arrived and got out of the car that Jimin could really see Taehyung. See all that was the golden boy. He was taller than Jimin remembered, as if life had to always remind Jimin of his (short) height. He smelled like cologne, the kind of cologne you save for a fancy dinner. Not exactly the right occasion but he appreciated the effort. He looked like a model, not as squishy as Jimin. Slimmer, with clothes that highlighted his frame and helped him look all the more handsome.

Great. Just what he needed.

Dinner went as expected, a little awkward at first but mostly fun. Taehyung turned out to be the same exact age as Jimin, only younger by a few months. He was full of endearing things. He was a photography major. His family had moved from Korea when he was young and he never got an international name. He had a passion for all things beautiful. Beautiful colors, beautiful people, beautiful sights, anything he could take a picture of. He liked moments, moments that could be captured and kept forever. That was his reasoning for choosing photography as a major.

Dinner turned into dessert. Dessert meant frozen yogurt with colorful sprinkles, strawberries, condensed milk, kiwis, brownies, and way too many layers of crunchy chocolate pieces. Taehyung found it beautiful too, so he took a picture of it. "I didn't know ice cream could be so colorful!" he exclaimed.

He also turned out to be just as big of a nerd as Jimin had expected. His love for Pokémon isn't the only one. He also had a love for all types of animes, claiming Studio Ghibli to be far superior to Disney. Jimin didn't care, he loved both and they both agreed that despite its beauty, Studio Ghibli didn't quite bring in the everlasting soundtracks that Disney had. Which turned into a conversation about the most recent and the best Disney movies.

Jimin loved The Little Mermaid, he said he could relate to Ariel. Uh, struggles with forbidden love, singing with fishes and being a hard-headed teenager? Yes. Taehyung on the other seemed to favor the more boyish characters, particularly Aladdin and Hercules. Something about finding yourself and magical wishes spoke to him.

"So what wish would you make if you could, Jimin?"

"Hmm..." Now that was something to think about it. Honestly he hadn't really given this much thought. I mean who does? Realistically. It's not like everyday where you meet a genie who offers you three wishes. There are so many things he could want, so many wishes he could have. But he settled for something honest.

"I mean I guess most people would pick money, women, or a house?" He snorted at the thought. Taehyung had his eyes on him, trying to read him softly, quietly. He gave Jimin his full attention. "I guess I would wish to know who I'm going to marry, if I ever get married at all."

Taehyung eyed him curiously. "Why wouldn't you be able to?" Well it's better to get it out of the way now, right?

"Well you see, I guess there are many reasons." He took a breath, looked at Taehyung as he motioned for him to keep going. Hesitation. "I mean ever since I was young, I guess it was a dream of mine. To fall in love. But as I grew older, it looked like a far away reality I'd never attain."

"I don't see why not, it's not like you're not a sight to see." Jimin punched him lightly for that compliment.

"If only it were that simple, right? I mean I thought I would just find someone and they'd love me as much as I love them... but after growing up, it looked like that was something of fairytales. Married couples who truthfully love each other." A second to think, to look inside. He glanced over at Taehyung who did not seem to blink. All his attention on him, it was almost terrifying and yet comforting. "Most couples in high school seemed to be people who were following trends. Everyone has someone, so I should too, kind of thing?"

"That's true. So many people date the first person they meet, just for the sake of it. Did you date a lot of girls in high school too?"

Ha. Girls. "No, no." Jimin chuckled. "I actually didn't date at all in high school. It took me a while to date. It wasn't until college that I started meeting guys, seeing as I finally had figured out how dating works. But I kind of hate gay guys. I didn't know it then, but guys are all the same. They might look good on the outside, but once you look inside there's nothing there. I got tired of wasting my time meeting people who just wanted to get in my pants and never text me again. So I stopped dating, I realized that the kind of love I dreamed about as a kid doesn't exist. Nobody wants to commit, so I stopped having gay friends at all. They all like sleep around with each other and it's all full of drama, and I didn't want that at all. I want someone who loves me for me, not someone who is just interested in the sexual aspect of a relationship. Sex gets boring really quickly and what's left after that? If you don't love each other, then it won't matter."

Taehyung's expression seemed to fall ever so slightly, for a reason Jimin couldn't really comprehend.

"Oh."

Oh? Oh shit. He screwed up. He talked too much. He told Taehyung his whole life story and now he was going to have to walk home because the golden boy was going to walk out on him in about 5 seconds.

"I-I .. sorry I babbled too much."

"N-No no!" Taehyung flapped his hands around in the air adorably when he realized that Jimin had apologized because of his silence. "Don't say sorry for sharing something so personal with me. I'm honored really. I was just processing it all."

Jimin sighed in relief. One, two, three seconds went by.

One more. Breathe.

"So you don't have any gay friends now, huh? I guess it is better to avoid all the drama."

Jimin nodded softly. Shyly looking at the one nail he didn't cut quite as well as the others, because that seemed oh so interesting right now.

"It's kind of sad though." He looked up to see nothing but sympathy and understanding in those big brown eyes. "That you let go of a dream you had as a kid because of some horny assholes. I'd fuck them all up for hurting you like that."

Jimin giggled. He felt like he was being secretly defended by him, his knight in shining armor. "I guess you could call them that but it's not their fault. I just wasn't what they wanted."

"Well anyone would be lucky to get married to you and I'm sure you're going to find a great guy one day and you'll believe in love again." Even if this was coming from an almost stranger, it sounded more true than anything Jimin had ever heard before in his life when it came from those lips. Kissable lips.

Stop. No. He's straight. Probably.

"Yeah I even got names picked out for my kids." Jimin said as he giggled to himself.

"Ah speaking of names!" Taehyung's excitement made him speak louder than he probably intended to. In turn, they got looks from other tables as Taehyung timidly sat back down. "So uh.. what was your English name anyway?"

"Oh God. No. Please don't."

Taehyung pouted and stared at him with big pleading eyes. Gross. Cute, but gross.

"Ugh fine! My parents weren't very creative with my name. They picked something that sounded fairly similar to Jimin..." he paused to see Taehyung anticipating and waiting. "They picked Timothy, like Tim, Jim, Jimin..yeah..." He said, so softly, so quietly only Taehyung could hear him, and he did.

"But that's a cute name! It suits you!"

Then sudden realization hit Taehyung.

"Oh my god."

What. What?

"I know what I'm going to call you from now on."

No, stop.

"Jimothy!"

Jimin responded by glaring at him. If he had laser vision, he'd have melted his face off. "I swear I will walk out right now."

"Good luck walking home." He winked. He had the nerve to wink, with a face like that. "No seriously Jimothy is super cute, like you!"

Jimin choked on nothing, probably his feelings. And he concluded, Taehyung was going to be a huge problem in his life.

"Come on Jimothy, I'll take you home." He said as he got up to open the door for him, held it out and bowed as if Jimin were a princess.

Yup. He was a huge problem, and Jimin wasn't so sure he minded.

-------

To Jimin, the idea of falling in love didn't seem at all that appealing. Now given the fact that he dreamed of a fairytale kind of love ever since he was a child, that may seem odd. But in his case, he went from the delusion of finding someone perfect for him to realizing there might never be someone like that out there. This idea of a person he could fall in love with and trust knowing that they won't get bored, tired or cheat on him seemed unrealistic. The idea of finding someone he could see himself with for the rest of his life seemed ridiculous.

Unthinkable.

It isn't as if he felt like he was too good for it, it just didn't make sense in his life and from what he'd seen thus far. People who settle for less than what they deserve or settle for comfortable and nice because it's easy. Where's the line that crosses love and comfortable? Where is the cut off line for settling and for a soulmate? Where's the cut-off line for true love and someone who thinks they're so in love with you only to break up two months later realizing you both don't fit?

Jimin didn't know the answer to any of these questions which is why he stopped looking or hoping. He got tired of fantasizing about all the ways it could have happened. A stranger at a coffee shop, a new classmate, a co-worker, a friend's friend, someone he met at a party. All the ways how it didn't happen is what he was left with.

He stopped as much as he could even if a little bit of hope was hidden there somewhere, reality was much too cruel to let it peek through the keyhole. It was locked deep somewhere, but it was there. The door would open at times for it to be fed, ever so slightly, small delicate meals. Jimin wanted, so much, to fall in love but he just didn't think he was capable of it. He didn't want a boy who would break up with him and they'd never talk again. He wanted a lover and a best friend, his perfect partner in crime who'd be willing to get into trouble with him, for him.

So he gave up, for a long time, on having a love life. It should come naturally, he thought, so he waited, and he still waits. But he tries not to hope, not to fall into delusion. And a straight boy was the last delusion he needed right now.

So Taehyung was forbidden territory for his heart to linger on. He was his new friend, and he wanted to cherish this friendship and not ruin it with his childish hopes and dreams of a perfect soul mate, so he didn't.

-------

The days went by and Taehyung kept their friendship going. Between school assignments and deadlines, they fell into familiarity. Texting each other memes and meeting each other's friends became routine. Taehyung's best friends were named Jungkook and Hoseok.

Jungkook was a bright young boy with a passion for writing, so he wrote about everything. He was curious, witty and loved to be pampered, so Jimin gladly took it upon himself to treat him like his baby. They soon grew close with Jimin taking care of him, taking him out and playing games with him at home.

Hoseok on the other hand was always a ball of good energy, bright and funny. He might not always be the most intuitive and might miss obvious context clues, but his heart is in the right place. He had a girlfriend that Jimin had yet to meet, but he only heard good things about her. They both majored in music and from what he heard, she, Wendy, seemed to have the voice of an angel.

They fit, he thought. A group of friends with good hearts and good energy, Jimin was glad to fit in and expand his group of friends to welcome more people in. It was like adopting more puppies to create a warmer and fuzzier family of cuddles and laughter. Jimin was happy, to have met them all. Friends, because that's all he had and all he thought he needed.

The lingering feelings, the touches that lasted a bit too long, the way they watched each other when they weren't looking, Jimin knew it would all pass. He hoped it would for the sake of their friendship.

It wasn't until one night when they were all out having dinner that Jimin noticed it, the closeness between their friends. They were all at a restaurant, ordering some Chinese-Korean food. All ordering to share. Namjoon tried to order in Korean but kept stuttering so Taehyung had to chime in and help him out a bit. It was cute, how Taehyung watched his determination and tried to help him improve, never degrading him.

They were sitting as usual, a table of six with Jungkook and Hoseok sitting across from each other. Taehyung next to Hoseok and by his side Shannon, with Jimin sitting across from Taehyung and Namjoon across from Shannon.

He took notice of it, even though he tried hard to ignore it. How close they were. The conversations were casual, all of them could join in. Today their topic was about the latest release of some new video game Jimin couldn't bother to think of. He couldn't focus because all he saw was the secret conversation going on between Taehyung and Shannon. He could see the way they shared something, something that seemed like only the two of them knew. Something that seemed like nobody else but they knew.

He would lean in behind her ear and whisper something that'd make her giggle, something that made her call him oppa while laughing and slapping his thigh. He'd grin and glance over at Jimin with a blush on his cheeks, quickly averting his gaze as if he had been caught. That made something deep inside Jimin twist, turn and come out all wrong. This was wrong, Jimin was wrong. He shouldn't think about it.

So he didn't.

He'd join in the conversation and see as Taehyung would focus his whole attention on him like he usually would. He would focus on Jimin so much, it'd make him feel nervous. He'd feel like anything he could say would be important to Taehyung. He cared, truly cared. Maybe that was what Shannon liked about him, that sure was what Jimin liked about him. Aside from his goofiness, his lack of care for his surroundings, just acting as silly as possible. Little things like that made Jimin's heart thumb in his chest, echo in his ears and steal smiles that should be kept for someone else. But they were nobody else's, they were for Taehyung.

Why was it that Taehyung did these things? Made him confused? Maybe Jimin was the one confusing himself, seeing more than what there was to see. From Taehyung always ordering a hot water for him when they got to restaurants because he knew Jimin didn't like iced water, to him always staying up late to make sure that Jimin was home safe and text him good night. Jimin tried his best to be just as good to Taehyung but he felt like he'd always fall short. Taehyung was just that kind of person.

Maybe that was it.

Maybe that's what she saw in him.

He couldn't be mad at her, she didn't know how he felt. How did he feel? He didn't feel, no.

This wasn't love, love is mutual. Jimin was just fantasizing and seeing things that weren't there. He always did that.

He always liked the heroine in the movie that was mistaken. His favorite songs were always the sad ballads. His list of favorite songs always had a common thread, they were about someone, a girl, watching her love interest be interested in someone else. Not her.

Not him.

Ironic he thought. He thought he was done with this, but maybe old habits never really die.

Eponine would be proud of him. On my own, pretending he's beside me. How fitting.

He was brought down to earth by Taehyung's face, suddenly too close to his. His eyes meeting Jimin's, his breath ghosting over his lips. Why leaning over the table like that made sense to Taehyung, he didn't know.

"You okay Jimin? You haven't been talking much tonight."

"Oh I'm fine, sorry. I've been just busy with school and work, there's a lot on my mind."

The worry in Taehyung's eyes was still clearly there. Why was he so caring towards Jimin? He couldn't even hate him for making him feel these things.

"If you need to talk, I'm always here to listen. You know you can always tell me anything."

I want to adopt a family of huskies with you after we get married and raise our children to be multilingual geniuses. That's what he thought but instead what came out was:

"I know Taehyung, don't worry I'm just tired."

Taehyung didn't look convinced but he dropped it, smiling at Jimin. A small reassuring smile, with a squeeze of his hand. Shannon looked just as worried, but she knew not to press Jimin. If he wanted to talk, he would.

There's a girl I know, he loves her so..I'm not that girl. Again the words of Elphaba couldn't fit better. There was a reason Taeyeon's "If" was his favorite Korean ballad of all time. He knew he was doomed to fail in the love department.

He decided to leave his sad thoughts aside to focus on enjoying right now and his time with his friends. The love they share is more important than any misconception of love Jimin seemed to have.

"So who wants to go home and play some games?"

Jimin saw the sparkle in Jungkook's eyes, as well as the competitive fire in Namjoon's, Hoseok's, and Taehyung's eyes.

"Without dessert?" Shannon questioned, puzzled by Jimin's lack of a sweet tooth for the night.

"I bought a bucket of ice cream last night," he grinned at her.

"Then what are we waiting for?"

-------

Once inside Jimin's place, everyone proceeded to the TV and game controllers while Jimin and Shannon went to the kitchen to get the ice cream from the fridge.

"You're not going to play too?"

"I live here, I could play these anytime. I want to make Jungkookie happy by giving him diabetes from ice cream since I can't do that to him everyday."

"Riiiiiiight."

They fell into comfortable silence as they kept preparing all the individual ice cream bowls. (Because Jimin has an ice cream problem but won't talk about it.)

Now and then Jimin would glance over at Taehyung who was focused on beating Jungkook but failing due to his lack of coordination. He went as far as to cut some strawberries and bananas into his Neapolitan ice cream to make it "healthier."

"So what were you and Taehyung whispering about?"

Shannon looked at him knowingly with a smirk on her face. "Ah! So that's what's been eating you up!"

Jimin blushed and suddenly started cutting banana pieces a bit too small. Suddenly feeling pain in between his legs, poor bananas. "I don't know what you're talking about! I was just wondering."

"Sure, right." She pushed him lightly while giggling. "Don't worry, you'll soon find out." She winked at him which made him shiver. Soon he'd find out? Soon he'd find out about their secretly not so secret relationship? Right.

"Can't wait!" He fake smiled at her.

"You'll like it! I promise."

"Anyways," he said as he and Shannon bring individual bowls of ice cream to each of the boys.

"Jimothy! Why do you always know what I like?" Taehyung asked sweetly as he took the bowl of colorful fruits and ice cream, letting go of the game altogether. "These dummies keep bullying me! I swear I could beat them! I've done it before!" He complained as he scooted over to Jimin and side hugged him, hiding his face in his chest.

Jimin cringed but only slightly because inside he was exploding, imploding, and having a mini big bang to start the new universe of Taehyung and Jimin, where they're the Gods that create all and the world is full of cute little Jungkooks and puppies for Jimin to spoil.

"Awww poor Taetae," he comforted the boy by rubbing circles around his back. He was using his weaknesses against him, which was not fair but Jimin didn't mind. Not one bit.

They stayed there for a little as the boys played on ignoring their lovey dovey bromance. Straight boys seem to be oblivious to the fact that public displays of affection towards gay boys could be highly misleading, confusing and worst of all, amazing.

The night went on as they played, until midnight. Everyone started leaving one by one, having early Saturday plans the next day, or simply feeling the weight of the week dawn upon them. Everyone was gone but Taehyung. They both watched as Shannon hugged them both goodbye and winked back at Taehyung before leaving.

"What was that all about?" Jimin asked casually, hiding his jealousy.

"What was what?" Taehyung blinked at him innocently. "You know what I wanna do right now?" He jumped suddenly excitedly.

Jimin startled for a second before shaking his head.

"Let's watch a Disney movie!"

"But Taehyung it's so late!"

"Tomorrow is Saturday, come on!!" he pleaded as he grabbed and shook Jimin's arm lightly.

"Ugh, fine! Which one do you wanna see?"

He smirked slightly while looking down as if he had a great idea. He slowly moved to Jimin's ear to whisper in his ear, sending shivers down his spine.

"The Little Mermaid." His breath gently caressing Jimin's ears.

Jimin pushed him away blushing, while shoving a pillow on his face. "Sure you sick pervert. Being dramatic for something so simple." He tried to play it off as if it were nothing when he had just sent in his S.O.S. signal to the troops looking for his sanity a minute ago.

They sat down together after Jimin popped some popcorn for them, while pulling blankets over them. They sat together, slightly cuddled together as they watched the movie.

One of Taehyung's favorite things to do was watch Jimin when he watched Disney movies. He focused more on him than the movie because Jimin's own passion for the plot was admirable. He related so deeply and so genuinely to the movies without even saying anything. He sang along to all the songs without even second guessing the lyrics. He was so invested in the movies, so compassionate for the main characters. Taehyung loved watching him.

Jimin on the other hand kind of hated being watched when he cried. He wanted to enjoy himself, allow himself to feel everything in a movie. So when people made him break out of character, it made him upset. But not Taehyung. Taehyung cared, so Jimin felt loved. No matter how pathetic he thought it was, he liked to believe Taehyung was there to protect him.

As soon as the scene with Ariel being left at the dock after realizing Eric was going to get married to somebody else, Jimin was already hiccuping in tears. Instinctive Taehyung had his arms around him, pulling him to his chest and keeping him safe. This caused him to cry harder, while burying his face in the warmth of Taehyung's body. The situation very reminiscent of his own feelings. Maybe he was a lot more like Ariel than he thought. Maybe his feelings were much stronger than he thought. (Or he was getting carried away.)

"Jimin, what's wrong?"

"Huh? No, it's just so sad for her, you know.."

Taehyung looked at him, stared deep into his eyes, tried to see through his lies but in the end all he could was pet his head and focus back on the movie. So they both did. (Jimin cried even harder when Triton turned Ariel human. "How much I'll miss her" was the last drop. Taehyung comforted him then too.)

When the movie ended, Taehyung rubbed sleep off of his eyes as he scooted close to Jimin.

"Aren't you gonna go home?"

He opened his eyes slightly to glare at Jimin, much like a defenseless kitten. "Can I sleep over tonight instead?"

"Oh uh.. but where will you sleep?"

"If you don't mind, I could sleep on your bed with you!"

Jimin shyly agreed. Great, really. He'd just have to deal with the golden boy lying next to him the whole night. Piece of cake really.

If he gets a boner, it's not his fault.

He couldn't really protest, Taehyung was in no state to go back home on his own. Worry got the best of him. Or his huge disgusting gay crush, because feelings were gross. Either way, he could do this. It was cool, he would keep it all to himself. No biggie.

They both went to Jimin’s room to change into comfortable sleepwear. Jimin lent Taehyung one of his shirts, which did not quite seem as baggy on him as he initially had hoped, but it did the job. He lent him a toothbrush and they both went to bed together, both in more or less oversized t-shirts and their underwear.

Jimin had expected Taehyung to just fall asleep on his side of the bed, but he proved him wrong yet again by making things more and more complicated for Jimin. If sleeping on the same bed wasn’t enough, Taehyung seemed to be quite a touchy sleeper. Not only was he sleeping very close to Jimin, he moved on to actually spoon Jimin in his sleep.

With his mind going at full speed, his thoughts racing through his head and his imagination going wild, Jimin could only pray that the way Taehyung’s heart seemed to beat so in sync with his and the warmth coming from Jimin was enough for him to take out the blankets and wrap himself up in Taehyung and Taehyung only.

It was going to be a long night.

-------

Jimin awoke the next morning lying next to Taehyung, peacefully and gracefully (not) sleeping next to him. His hair was sticking out in the wrong places, his lips were parted while his eyes were closed, in deep sleep. So Jimin watched, and waited. He had never been able to just watch Taehyung, so attentively, in such detail.

"G'morning," came the low rough baritone voice.

Jimin's breath hitched while a shiver went down his spine. All he could do was stare, watching Taehyung's peaceful morning expression with half lidded eyes. A small smile rested on his lips, and for Jimin time stopped. The air inside his lungs was held captive to whatever spell the other boy had put on him. He was trapped, entranced in a loop of time that kept repeating the sound of his voice over and over again. He watched as Taehyung slowly opened his eyes, watching Jimin's blank expression. Almost horrified but mostly just unmoving. His gaze lingered and soon enough he was watching the movement of his lips, as Taehyung slowly bit on his bottom lips, as if waiting.

Anticipating.

Nothing happened, no one moved, they just watched each other intensively. Either too scared to make a move or frozen by their own desires. Jimin slowly looked up, too afraid to look at Taehyung directly in the eye and he watched as Taehyung's eyes stayed on his lips. As if he had been wanting, waiting, and wanting.

Wanting what Jimin wanted, wanting him as much as he wanted Taehyung. Taehyung moved, slowly, unsure, closer.

Too close.

His eyes never leaving Jimin's lips, never once blinking. Just dark, clouded and wanting.

Suddenly time became a painful and real concept yet, again. Reality hit Jimin just as hard as his consciousness loudly screamed, and pleaded him to move.

No, this is wrong.

(It wasn't.)

Jimin was hyper aware, locking eyes with Taehyung, aware of his breath hitting his face, his eyelashes too long, too pretty. His nose too tall, his hair too soft. His skin too clear, too close. His fragrance, his natural smell. Everything that just screamed Taehyung.

Forbidden. Wrong.

It must have all been in his head, it couldn't be real. So he hesitated, for a second. He moved backward, once.

Taehyung stopped, his eyes now on Jimin's eyes. Begging. Questioning.

Jimin couldn't hear a thing, his heartbeat was too loud in his ears. Too damn loud. He was suddenly breathing again, suddenly aware of his surroundings, of his reality.

So he got up, too quickly, too abruptly. And left the room.

Taehyung moved up to balance his weight on his elbow, staring at the door in confusion. Had he done something wrong? He followed Jimin outside the door to find him in the kitchen preparing fruits and cereal for both of them. Breakfast just like his grandfather used to.

"Is something wrong?"

Taehyung watched carefully as Jimin jumped slightly, startled by his presence. He smiled to himself slightly as Jimin gave him a bright smile.

"No, why would there be? Come on, we can't stay in bed all morning. Go take a shower, you didn't even brush before sleeping last night!"

"Oh sorry...do I smell bad?"

"Yes." Jimin said with a serious face. Then proceeded to drag Taehyung to the bathroom while pushing him inside and closing the door.

"And don't come out until you're squeaky clean!"

Taehyung sighed, relieved, as he slowly undressed to shower.

Jimin went back to the kitchen as he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, relaxing his shoulders.

But he knew. He knew that in the end, he was falling and he knew that there would be no one there to catch him in the end. And he'd be left to pick himself up from the bottom again, because who could ever love him?

"Stupid." He mumbled to himself as he let himself relax and forget what happened because his friendship with Taehyung was more important than his stupid feelings for the straight boy.

Soon Taehyung was out of the shower and wearing Jimin's clothes that didn't quite fit him, but he looked adorable nonetheless.

He sat down across the table from Jimin as he started eating breakfast happily smiling with a mouthful to Jimin. Fucking cute.

Yup. He was done for.

"So what are we doing today?" Jimin tried to ask casually.

"Oh actually I have some errands to run with my mom," he grimaced. "Did you wanna come?"

"And ruin that family bonding time? I could never."

"Oh come on! It's going to be fun!" He said dragging Jimin back to the room to get changed.

Yes because meeting the parents will make this oh so much easier.

-------

As it turns out, errands with Taehyung's mom was a lot more fun than Jimin had originally expected. They had only known each other for a few months now and Jimin had moved out of his parents house to go to college and so did Taehyung, but Taehyung's parents live nearby so he could visit them if he wanted to, or more like, if they forced him to.

Taehyung's mom was a lot less scary than Jimin had predicted. Not that he had expected her to be the devil incarnated, but Taehyung seemed quite eager to drag Jimin along with him so he figured she must have been kind of stressful to be with. On the contrary, not only was she happy to see Taehyung, she was very fond of Jimin as well.

She was kind, and very lively. She couldn't stop squishing Jimin's cheeks when she first met him and would go on and on about how Taehyung had mentioned his name so many times in the past few months but wouldn't let her meet him. Jimin was busy so it was not Taehyung's fault really.

One of Jimin's favorite things about Taehyung was his attention to detail and how passionate he was about he did. Jimin really did like people whose passion was something else other than surviving. Some people went about their lives mindlessly, without a passion. Living day by day without striving to get anywhere in the end. His friends were never like that, they did what loved and loved what they did. Taehyung was no different. He would stop at the market where they were with his mom, take a look at some fruits, adjust them slightly and take a picture. He found beauty in even the smallest of details.

Even people bickering, trying to sell their old vegetables with older ajummas trying to get them to lower the price, Taehyung saw beauty in the simplicity of the moment. He'd take pictures of it all and then just watch them fondly at home while choosing the best pictures. He avoided photoshop and instead chose to observe the details against just the right lighting and right atmosphere, keeping it natural and raw.

Jimin loved watching the concentration in his eyes, his firm hands ready to take the right shot. He'd talk freely to random kids in the market as he took pictures of them playing with their parents. Jimin watched. This did not go by unnoticed by his mother.

"You know Jimin" she started, making Jimin now focus on her while quickly averting his watch on Taehyung. "A mom worries but she also knows. Above anything, I wanted my son to be happy."

She looked at him expectantly, confused and slightly nervous. Did she know? Oh my god, she knew. Jimin was never going to see Taehyung again. She was going to tell him. And Jiimin was going to die of grief.

"So," she continued after the short silence. "Of course most moms want their children to be doctors, or lawyers. You know we came to America to give our kids the opportunity to do better than we did. But I couldn't go on living my life making my son do something he wasn't happy with. I'm proud of my son not because he wants to have money, but because he's never afraid of being who he is. I'm proud of him because he is good at what he does and he is passionate about it. That's what makes me happy, that he's happy."

This earned a huge smile from Jimin who quickly nodded in response. "I wish all moms were like you, so many kids have to go by life unhappy because they try to meet their parents expectations."

"I can't blame them," she sighed. "It's not easy not projecting ourselves into our own kids. It's a growing experience for both sides. Letting go of your children and trusting them. Now all I'm waiting on is some grandchildren."

She laughed along Jimin, who ignored the slight ache in his heart. Taehyung with his future wife and kids, it could be Shannon or anybody else. But definitely not him.

"What about you, dear?" He quickly turned back to her in confusion, "I mean, do you want children? Do you have a special boy in your life?"

Jimin blushed as he widened his eyes in shock just in time for Taehyung to come back, watching the two attentively.

"Oh Taehyung told me more about you than you know! Don't worry, I'm a cool mom!" She said as she swayed her hips to one side winking at Jimin, which caused him to burst out laughing and Taehyung to hide his face behind his hands in horror.

"No, ma'am. No boy showed up in my life yet."

"Oh that's not what our Tae-"

"Mom! Look! A sale! Let's go!" said Taehyung as he glared at his mom and pointed the other way. She quickly turned around to follow in that direction.

"What was that about?"

"What was what about? There's nothing to be about anything." Taehyung laughed awkwardly while Jimin eyed him suspiciously.

The rest of the day went by with laughter and teasing and more cheek squishing as Jimin sadly waved them goodbye to back home on his own.

"Ah Jimin!" Taehyung shouted as he ran back towards Jimin. "Do you have time this Friday night? We were planning to go to Knott's Scary Farm and then clubbing afterwards for Halloween!"

"Oh really? That sounds like fun! Yes, I would love to go!"

"Cool, we will pick you up at 6 then!"

Jimin waved him goodbye before it dawned upon him that Halloween scary nights meant screaming, grabbing, skinship and if that included the "we" he was thinking of, he was going to be left cold and alone as a third wheel before the end of the night. Fantastic Jimin, fantastic.

-------

Throughout the week, it became more and more apparent what was going to happen that Friday night. Jimin slowly went from excited to terrified to hauntingly depressive thoughts. He'd constantly open and close his phone many times with Taehyung's chatroom opened, considering over and over if he should or not go. Battling himself on the decision that could potentially be the beginning of the end. Something that could hurt them both, or would it be better if he didn't go at all?

He felt small, battling to get out of bed that day. Why should he join them just to watch Taehyung and Shannon get closer and closer, her grabbing his hand over and over, him protecting her. It's not like Jimin wouldn't have Jungkook to hold onto, but he knew that wouldn't be the same. (Not that Jungkook didn't have nice arms to hold onto.)

He didn't have the energy to go, he felt powerless. Was he so deep in that his feelings for Taehyung were making him unable to enjoy his time with his friends? He couldn't let these stupid feelings get in the way of his friendship. Why couldn't he just bury these feelings deep inside the dark corners of his heart with the rest of his hope on humanity and live on unaware, blissfully ignorant to pain instead? He hated himself for being the cause of an issue amongst his friends.

To: Namjoon Hyung

Hyung.. I'm not feeling so great, maybe I shouldn't go out tonight.

From: Namjoon Hyung

What's up? Did you eat something bad?

To: Namjoon Hyung

Uhm ...no. you know...I just feel like I would be more of a third wheel if I go.. I'm not sure I'm in the mood..

From: Namjoon Hyung

Wtf? Okay Yknow what I'm coming over. C u soon.

Jimin buried his face in his pillow and grunted. He didn't need an intervention, he was fine. This was fine. Everything was just fine.

Except it wasn't.

Namjoom got there 30 minutes later knocking at the door, waiting for Jimin to come open. The knock reminiscent of some annoying Justin Bieber song Jimin was tired of hearing.

The living room felt unfamiliar, Jimin's soul not quite finding its way back into his body. He felt numb, he opened the door allowing Namjoon in. Expressionless, lifeless. The house was empty and quiet without all his friends there and Jimin had only himself to hold, he was alone by choice but also lonely and it felt so much worse now that he finally could see someone he knew and cared about. Namjoon greeted him with a smile but quickly frowned upon noticing the dark circles under Jimin's eyes.

"Dude what's wrong?" Namjoon said as he sat down on the couch tapping the seat next to him for Jimin to come join him. He did, slowly, join him.

"There's nothing wrong, I'm just tired." When did he start lying this much? To people he trusts? He knows Namjoon could see right through him, the glass wall he built wasn't so good at hiding his feelings.

"Come on Jimin. I know you better than that. What's on your mind?"

"You know. I was fine." He started, as he sighed deeply looking at his hands as if they'd give him the answers he didn't have the map to find yet. "I didn't need a boy in my life. I was happy on my own, I was fine. I didn't need a boy to be happy, I gave up on love a long time ago. I gave up and then it found me again. I swore I wouldn't fall for someone who wouldn't love me for me, but here I am longing for a guy who can't even love another guy. And you know I wanted a man who knows what they want, not a kid who's not ready to take on a relationship."

“How do you know you’re not what he wants? How do you know he isn’t ready to take on a real relationship?“

“I don’t know…but how am I supposed to believe anybody could even feel that way about anybody…especially about me?”

“Well can you feel that way about anybody? Or about him?“

"I don't know Hyung." He paused to wonder who the problem was. This perfect golden boy full of smiles and jokes, or him. The boy who couldn't fall in love. "He's not even gay, I can't fall in love with a straight boy. Maybe I honestly can't see myself with anybody at all."

Namjoon stopped to think for a second before looking at Jimin. "How do you know he's straight? Did he ever talk about girls to you?"

"Come on, Hyung. If he were gay, he would've told me by now!" Jimin rolled his eyes as if it were obvious.

"Maybe. Or maybe you gave him a reason not to tell you?"

"What could that possibly be?"

"I don't know. But...why is this bothering you now? Today?" Namjoon tugged at his sleeves before glancing back at Jimin.

Jimin looked down embarrassed before looking back at his Hyung with teary eyes. "Haven't you seen how close he and Shannon have gotten lately? It's so obvious. I don't want to have to witness them holding each other at the park."

Jimin couldn't help but feel offended when Namjoon let out a loud laugh before petting his hair. "Hey, I'm serious Hyung!"

"I know you are, which is why it's so funny. Are you really that dense?"

"What?"

"Nothing Jimin but I think there's a lot more to this situation than you think. You should talk to Shannon about it.. or better yet, tell Taehyung how you feel! The worst that could happen is him saying no."

"Or walking out of my life forever?" Duh. As if it weren't obvious?

"Come on Jimin, they'll be here to pick you up soon and I'll take Shannon with me. I'll go pick her up, I'll make sure to take care of you tonight even if Taehyung won't. But trust me, he will."

Jimin gave in, as he accepted his Hyung's affection and love, letting him out as he waited for Taehyung to pick him up. Soon after he left, Taehyung texted Jimin that he had arrived and Jimin held his breath as he headed out ready to face the night.

It was going to be fine. It wasn’t.

-------

As soon as Jimin got in the car, he was greeted with Taehyung driving, Hoseok on the passenger seat and Jungkook in the back with him. He greeted everybody as they excitedly howled away about the excitement of their scary night.

He smiled at Jungkook, his smile not really reaching his eyes..Jimin felt exhausted, emotionally but excited all the same. He rested his head on Jungkook’s shoulder, preparing himself for what was to come.

“Hyung, is everything okay?”

“Super duper chipper,” Jimin answered sarcastically. He hated himself, yet again. He could’ve just answered the question nicely, but no he had to be a little baby about it. Jungkook had done nothing, nobody had. It was nobody’s fault. He knew better than to blame himself too, but he knew he could be better. He could be sweet, he could grow up and deal with his feelings. The worry in Jungkook’s eyes was enough to dissipate any form of animosity Jimin had.

“Sorry Kookie. I’m just a bit nervous about tonight, is all. You’ll protect me with your strong arms, right?” He tried indulging the boy who blushed slightly and giggled.

“But Hyung, I won’t even have to protect you when you’ve got Taehyung right there.“

Jimin tried but failed to keep the smile on his face, his expression falling to a pout. “I don’t know how he could protect me and Shannon at the same time.” He said, quietly enough so that only Jungkook would hear him.

Jungkook gave him a confused look. “You act like Shannon can’t protect herself? Only you need protection.”

Jimin slapped him on the arm lightly and huffed out. “I’ll have you know I’m the bravest one here.”

“We will see.” Jungkook said as he giggled to himself, leaving Jimin to his own thoughts and his phone games.

-------

The arrival to the park was followed by an uproar of utter excitement and beastly roars. The energy quickly died down when the screams for help could be heard all throughout the parking lot from inside the park. They echoed with horror as their group of friends gathered around to join forces to overcome their own fears. As it was a school night, they hoped the park would be less busy so they could go through enough mazes before the night was over.

They all entered the park together, being greeted by the gracious sounds of metal shoes sliding across the floor to create flaming sparkles that followed their steps. People squirmed away in fear as Jimin watched them while grabbing Jungkook's arm a little harder than he should have, making the boy wince in pain. Taehyung quickly glanced back from where he was standing with an unreadable expression on his face.

Jimin didn't like that. He didn't like not being able to know what Taehyung was thinking. Usually he was so easy to read, he was expressive and Jimin had grown to understand his small changes in expression but this was new.

"Sorry Kookie."

"Hyung you should really try the hammer thing, you are stronger than you think!" he teased, which earned him another smack on the arm and an eye roll.

They all ran together towards the first maze, clown themed.

Which was great, amazing, and peachy.

Psychopath bloody clowns sound like a fun way to start a night of screaming in terror. Jimin noticed as Shannon glanced at him while whispering and giggling to Taehyung, as if they had a secret he didn't already know.

He did.

So he grabbed Jungkook and they ventured away into the maze. Every turn was followed by screams, pushing, pulling and falling to the ground. In the midst of the confusion, Jimin hadn't noticed as his grip on Jungkook was lost and he was left to fend for himself in the dark.

He didn't have to.

So he didn't.

Because although he was probably the bravest amongst them all, a pair of strong and warm arms wrapped themselves around Jimin to guide him to the exit. Jimin didn't take notice of who, simply grabbing tightly to his unnamed hero.

They exited the maze and Jimin was met with Taehyung's inglorious scared face, holding on to Jimin like the damsel in distress that he was. The blush that followed the rapid beat of his heart was enough to cause Jimin to hide his face behind his hands. Because who did he think he was acting like his man all of a sudden?

"Are you okay Jiminnie?"

He further hid his face behind his hands in shame with the less used nickname. "I'm fine Taehyung but what about Shannon? Weren't you going to protect her?"

"What are you talking about? She doesn't need any protecting!" He pointed towards Shannon keeping the others safe much like a mother bird would when fending for her babies. "She is the one making sure Hoseok and Namjoon don't shit their pants!"

They burst out laughing together finally feeling at ease with one another for the first time that night. Jimin settled into this easiness, allowing himself to hold Taehyung's arms more comfortably, leaning his body towards him.

He could pretend for one night that everything was fine. That he had a chance, that Taehyung was his knight in shining armor. Or in a cool striped shirt. Either way it was Taehyung.

His Taehyung.

Tonight, he allowed himself to dream.

So they carried on, maze after maze and although some pairings changed and the order from who would go first, one thing was constant.

Taehyung and Jimin.

Now Taehyung was scared. Shitless. But he had Jimin, and for some reason making sure Jimin was having a good time and felt safe was more important than not being scared.

(An excuse to touch each other had nothing to do with it though.)

Had Jimin paid attention, he would have noticed things better.

But he didn't.

So he lived in his illusion as they went from the voodoo house, to the paranormal activity themed house. From gorey monsters, to headless henchmen and crazy serial killers with chainsaws, the night was full of screams and laughter.

Jimin felt like himself the first time that week, pushing away any negative thought that could appear. He deserved this.

To be happy.

So he was. Because why shouldn't he? He had the love from his friends, the attention of his one sided crush (Love of his life?) and the most fun he's had in a while. So he enjoyed himself.

While he could.

Suddenly When There Was Me and You played in Jimin's head and if the lyrics "cause everyone could tell that I confused my feelings with the truth when there was me and you" fit the situation better than he could ever put into words better than he himself could've, he ignored it.

-------

The night of terror ended earlier than expected as the group headed out. They headed out in two cars again but this time Hoseok wanted to drive so Taehyung let him, sitting in the back with Jimin. Their destination? A club.

Their club of choice? A gay club.

Now don't get Jimin wrong, he didn't hate going clubbing. Actually he enjoyed it quite a bit but something changed in him in the past few years.

When you're younger and you become of age, all you want to do is drink and party. Jimin drinks, but he doesn't need to drink to have fun. He doesn't judge those who do but he just isn't one of them. He considered himself crazy enough when sober to have fun without needing a few drinks to ease himself into the night.

Now going to a gay club was definitely not his preference because 1. He was not looking to find a boy at a club because a boy at a club was a one night stand, 99% of the time and 2. His Disney dream of love had long died when he noticed how different he was from those guys.

They met somebody one night, declared their undying love, fought and broke up 2 weeks later when they realized they had nothing in common. And the cycle repeated.

Jimin didn't want to be a part of that cycle.

His self esteem had a little bit to do with it too. His eyes were always a little too small, he was a little too short, a little too skinny, there was always something missing. And those guys?

They were hot.

Empty.

But hot. So Jimin didn't quite fit in. Didn't quite think that he could feel like himself surrounded by strangers making out and getting into each other's pants without sparing him a second glance, because he wasn't enough. He was never enough.

He didn't want to be enough though. If it meant getting rid of his dignity and his last hope of a fairytale dream for a guy who'd dump him in two weeks so that he wouldn't feel lonely, he'd rather be alone.

So he was.

"Taehyung, I'm not sure I'm comfortable with the idea of going to a gay club."

Taehyung had been watching the outside window, admiring the city lights at the night when he heard Jimin. He turned to Jimin and the look in his eyes was enough to make him feel so tiny, so timid. Because all that was there was concern and affection, surrounded by brown warm orbs that sparkled in the dark. Because he was Taehyung, always ethereal Taehyung.

"Jiminnie." He started, reaching out to hold Jimin's small hand in his. Jimin loved it, how much taller and bigger Taehyung was than him. It was perfect, he was just tall enough to make him feel protected. "I'm here. I won't let a single one of these assholes lay a finger on you. I swear to Buddha, I will stay by your side the whole night. Nobody will hurt you tonight, we are going there to dance and have fun, just focus on us all and no one else okay?" He said as rubbed Jimin's hands.

Jimin smiled, feeling light and at ease. Maybe he was going to be just fine. He wanted to trust Taehyung and he knew he could. So he nodded and they fell into comfortable silence on their way there.

(If Taehyung never let go of Jimin's hand during the car ride, neither of them mentioned it.)

-------

They arrived at the club and proceeded to do what kids do when they party. Except they were not kids. (Except for Jungkook, a legal adult, but a child nonetheless.) Dancing, moving, flirting with one's eyes, drinking and going to the bathroom. (To pee you sicko.)

Jimin felt it. The eyes on him, on all of his friends. He kept Jungkook close to him, to protect him from these predators. His motherly instincts kicked in as he shielded him with his imaginary wings and hissing at the guys who were far too old to be even watching a young boy in his 20's so hungrily. Taehyung laughed at the look of horror on Jimin's face when men would wink at Jungkook as if he wasn't wearing diapers just yesterday.

(He wasn't.)

The music at this club was Jimin's favorite, he loved it. He actually could dance to it and sing along. They played early 2000's and late 90's, Jimin loved throwbacks so he was in his nature. He could enjoy himself and dance along to the beat, bringing Namjoon and Shannon along who moved along to the beat and busted out their best dance moves.

Taehyung stayed close behind, reeling in Jungkook and Hoseok as well as the group gathered around in a circle. Hoseok and Namjoon attempted a dance battle which turned into what looked like a wild mating dance between two clumsy ducks. Jungkook naturally danced along to help them find their beat, while teaching them a move or two in the process.

Jimin was so into the music, he didn't notice when a group of guys kept eyeing him while one of them pushed the tallest in the group towards him. Jimin felt someone too close dancing against him, which sent him into immediate defensive mode. He turned around to find the one guy from that group almost grinding himself against Jimin while licking his lips in a less than seductive way.

Jimin was pulled back into someone's arms and just as quickly as he came, the guy was gone with a look of defeat on his face. Jimin had barely any time to react, only then turning around to face his savior. A determined look of victory on his face.

Taehyung, always his Taehyung.

"We gotta stop meeting like this."

"You didn't have to do that Taehyung but thanks for saving me."

"Hey," he said as he pulled Jimin closer into his arms while dancing with him. Into him. "I told you I'd protect you and it's the least I could do since the day we met, you saved me." He said as he winked at Jimin who giggled in response.

How did this happen? How did they end up here? A meeting that was lot meant to be anything turned into such a tender friendship. Jimin might be in pain but he knows it's his own fault for falling for this guy, even if he couldn't help it. The golden boy, Jimin was happy to have met him. More than anything, he was thankful.

He allowed himself to ease into the dance, settling into Taehyung's arms. If this was for protection or not, he didn't care anymore at this point. He just wanted to be close to him, to feel his heartbeat, feel his breathing uneasy as he danced to the beat of some club song he couldn't care to recognize but there he was. With Taehyung. It was too perfect.

He glanced at Taehyung who had his eyes fixed on him. Admiring Jimin, with a soft kind of affectionate look that allowed Jimin to laugh wordlessly and carelessly. He was safe, he was with Taehyung. His Taehyung. Even if only in his mind, he was his to hold at night when he himself against a pillow. He was the one he thought of whenever he'd hear a love song. He was the reason Jimin could maybe believe that he had the ability to fall in love. Even if Taehyung wasn't going to be the one, he was the one to help Jimin believe in himself and in love again.

Jimin was so lost in the bliss of the moment and his thoughts, he didn't quite register what was happening until it was too late. He was in Taehyung's arms, his forehead touching Jimin's. They had danced away to a corner by themselves, which was when it came. Taehyung had been eyeing Jimin the entire time. His eyes fixed on the plumpness and redness of his lips, his squishy cheeks, his eyes smiling at him. He couldn't control himself, so he leaned forward to connect their lips.

Too quick. Too soon.

Jimin was frozen, when he realized his lips were touching Taehyung's and it was so right but oh so wrong. Because why is straight Taehyung kissing Jimin? Why is Taehyung who has a thing for his friend Shannon holding him so tight?

Why. Why. Why.

Jimin's mind swirled, he was lost. His vision hazy, his heart racing, his hands trembling. Why was Taehyung kissing him when he didn't love Jimin like he loved Taehyung? It wasn't fair, he deserved love, not to be his one night's mistake.

So he pushed him away.

Pushed him against the wall as tears filled his eyes, because he was wrong. Wrong to have trusted him. Wrong to have met him, wrong to allow him in. Because this boy took advantage of him, of his weakness.

Taehyung looked at him as panic spread across his face, he tried to reach out to grab Jimin but was pushed back once again.

"What the fuck Taehyung? Is this what I am to you? Some kind of gay experimental shit?" he spat out, the venom splashing back at him. Saying it out loud hurt more than he thought, especially after seeing the look on Taehyung's face. He looked like he was about to cry, like he had just been punched in the stomach.

He looked like what Jimin felt. But he didn't care, he couldn't think straight. He couldn't see through the tears that rolled, so he ran. Through the crowd, out the door.

At one point he stopped running, outside somewhere. It looked like a residential area, so he sat in front of someone's front yard and hugged his knees, crying. Letting it all out, all that he had been holding in. All his feelings, his pure feelings for his best friend were stepped on. He was alone, so he cried.

He cried until there were no more tears, nowhere to run and nowhere to go but home. He was drained, empty, and in pain. A hole where his heart used to be. So he called a lyft home and left, ignoring the multiple texts and calls from all his friends.

He only texted Namjoon when he got home, to let him know he was safe and sorry.

He went to bed that day feeling worse than he felt when he had woken up.

-------

Saturday morning came and Jimin couldn't believe it had only been a week since he had met Taehyung's mom. Since he spent a blissful day with them. Less than 12 hours since his lips touched Taehyung's. 12 hours ago his heart wasn't broken, a week ago his heart broken. A few months ago his life wasn't as colorful. He wasn't as colorful, as full and now he was just a body.

Empty.

He stayed in bed but avoided the phone calls, turned off his phone and listened to his favorite list of sad songs as he felt no will to cry. Nothing left. So he stayed still and quiet, lying on his bed as he let the words sink in. Every sad love song was his anthem right now.

Sometimes I sit at home and wonder how it'd be if he had loved me....but then I realize dreams come true aren't for girls like me.

He deserved it, he knew better and yet here he was again. Hurt.

Drained.

He didn't hear it as someone knocked on his front door. As someone used the spare key to open the lock and let themselves in, like they knew they belonged.

"Jimin?"

He didn't move at the sound of the voice. Not even at the weight beside him in bed. He just stayed still.

"Jimin, you have to talk to him."

Talk to him? About what? There was nothing more to say. He was done with it all. He didn't have the will.

"Jimin, seriously. You're stronger than this."

Was he? Then why did he feel so powerless. So lifeless.

"Am I?"

"Yes. That's why he loves you."

What? "What?"

"You're so stupid seriously." He finally looked up to see Shannon looking down at him. Sad. He could only wonder how pathetic he must have looked then, anticipating.

"Namjoon oppa told me that you thought there was something going on between him and me. If I look at it from your paranoid point of view where love doesn't exist for you, I'd also have thought so too. But you know what we were whispering about?"

Jimin shook his head, helplessly.

"About how he was going to be your protector and woo you. Everything he talked about was you. How smart you are. How everybody likes you, how you're so easy to fall in love with. How everybody wants to be your friend. How you're kind to even those who don't deserve it."

"He doesn't love me.. he isn't even.."

"Gay? You never even asked him. Just talk to him. He will come by as soon as you're ready."

"Okay."

Then she left. Left Jimin to wonder if he could trust the boy he thought he knew.

-------

Jimin sat in the living room, alone. Anxious, waiting. For a knock, a call, a text.

He waited in silence, alone. Too distracted to pay attention to anything else he could have planned that day.

So it came, the knock. He gulped, as his hands suddenly became sweaty. He felt nervous, ready to jump off.

He opened the door and there he was. As ethereal and beautiful as always. Abort abort. Close the door. But he didn't, instead what came out was:

"You wanna come in?"

Taehyung nodded, seemingly as nervous as Jimin was. Entering the house that was so familiar and yet felt so empty and new.

They stood awkwardly by the kitchen door, wondering who would be the first to speak so Jimin did.

"I'm sorry for what I said last night."

Taehyung's eyes were a mixed of a little caring and mostly regretful. "Jiminnie.. it's my fault. I shouldn't have done that, I shouldn't have done anything until you were ready. Gosh, I was supposed to protect you, not be the one to hurt you."

Jimin tried to shush him by waving his arms around clumsily. "No, it's okay! I.. I just didn't know. We were both lost in the moment. I mean it's not like you really love me, right?"

This, more than anything, was what made Taehyung change. He wasn't angry at him as much as he was angry at how Jimin didn't seem to believe Taehyung could love him.

“You still think that? Seriously? Will you just stop acting like this…Stop acting like I’m just a kid to you! Stop acting like you’re not attracted to me!” His eyes had the kind of passion anybody who knows exactly what they want has when they feel like it’s their last chance to take it all, or be left with nothing at all. And he was ready to risk it all. For him.

"I know exactly that I'm attracted to you. I never denied that, I know how I feel. You just can't feel the same way-" he cut himself off when he noticed the tears in Taehyung's eyes. He tried to comfort him but Taehyung instead cupped Jimin's face in hands and said, so softly, just for him to hear. It was his secret, just for them to share even if there wasn't anybody else there to hear it.

“Stop acting like I can’t be the kind of guy who can wake up every morning next to you, making you feel safe, or the guy who make you rest and be taken care of. Stop acting like I can’t be the man to raise kids with you and have a family with you. Stop acting like I can’t be in love with you, because I am.” And finally those words were said, not exactly how either of them had pictured it but there it was. It felt liberating for both, to hear it out loud.

”Now the question is, are you scared of falling in love with me or have you already fallen?” And with this, he pulled Jimin towards him and took him in his arms as he sobbed.

“Yeah and maybe we won’t end up together in the end, but shouldn’t we at least give us a try? I don’t know what’s going to happen but neither do you, but if we love each other and we’re not hurting each other, don’t we deserve a chance? I love you but if you don't love me, I understand. But if you do love me too Jimin...can you look me in the eye and tell me no?"

Taehyung held Jimin's faces in his hands as he stared deep into his crescent-like eyes. His eyes were warm, deep, brown. They looked comforting, like a safe depth of love and affection one could fall into and get lost in without a care in the world. There was a hint of fear, a fear that his feelings wouldn't be accepted or that he couldn't be all that Jimin wanted, but the fear of not knowing and regretting this for the rest of his life were much more suffocating than his fear of confessing his feelings to him. He could only hope that same fear would lead Jimin to his own truth.

"What do you see when you look in my eyes Taehyung?" Jimin asked as he calmed himself down enough to speak. He was dizzy from his thoughts, from his emotions, but most of all from all that was Taehyung.

He stared deep into his eyes as a knowing smile overtook him. "I see my world and my future. The whole universe deep inside your eyes, going on infinitely. I see the stars shining, the sun smiling and I see a place I can call home." He responded easily, honestly, shamelessly. "What do you see when you look in mine?"

Jimin looked down at his feet before looking back to see the answer to a test he hadn't prepared for all laid out for him, as if all he had to do was read it out loud without thinking about it. "I see everything that I thought I didn't deserve. Everything I wanted but would never get. I see you, all that is you. And I'm so scared that I'll get used to you, to loving you and that you'll get bored of me and leave me. Because I don't think there will be someone else who I can love anymore if that happens."

"You don't need to love anyone else if you love me, Jimin. All you need is to love me, if that much is true, then you've got me and I'm never going to leave. You deserve everything you wanted and more and I'm ready to fight for you to get it all."

And so they kissed. Easily, and it would be a lie to say Jimin felt no fireworks. This kiss was different. It was full of trust, he gave himself up to it. He felt the animals sing and the sparkles all over, suddenly his life was full of colors. Full of life, suddenly hope was replaced by reality. Reality was finally worth being awake for. Jimin had nothing to worry about because Taehyung was there.

"Why didn't you tell me you were gay?" he asked minutes later after they settled into each other's warmth on the couch.

Taehyung giggled awkwardly scratching the back of his head while massaging Jimin's leg slowly with his other hand. "Ah that...you see, on the first uh..date? we had, you told me you didn't like having gay friends so I was scared to tell you." He admittedly softly.

Jimin giggled softly as he hid his face in Taehyung's neck. "You're so stupid, you could've saved us so much time." He sighed as he settled into his new reality.

-------

“You know I want to wait until we’re a little further into our relationship before we have sex, right?”

“The question is: can you really keep your hands off of me that long?”

Jimin smacks him in the head as he takes his pants off, parading around at home in just an oversized shirt and underwear. He watches Taehyung’s mouth drop as he glances back swaying his hips back and forth.

“Clean the drool off your mouth, stupid. I’m sure I can keep my hands to myself. Try to do the same.” He said as he winked.

“I mean if you want to have my children, we gotta start somewhere, no?”

Jimin laughs out loud as he positions himself in between Taehyung’s legs, straddling him and keeping his forehead close to Taehyung’s.

“So we are going to have children?”

“That’s the idea.“ Taehyung admits, putting both arms around Jimin’s waist and pecking his nose.

“Okay, now maybe we should get going if not, Namjoon hyung will be mad that we’re late and he will blame me again.”

“But it is your fault, we’re always late because of you.”

“Ah, really? Wow okay, then you ain’t getting none of this tonight.”

Jimin gets up to go change as Taehyung screams pathetically behind him. “I wasn’t going to get any anyway!!“

Jimin looks back at him and thanks his luck for having been able to meet the golden boy that is Kim Taehyung. His Taehyung. (The father of his children?)