Work Text:
He hadn't told anyone what he planned to do, where he was going, he just knew he had to go. He had to get somewhere other than where he'd been. The war had taken it's toll on him, the fact that Eren had been ripped away from him in the final battle was too much to bear. If only he hadn't been so useless. If only his titan had been worth something, anything at all in that fight, maybe he could have saved his best friend. But that hadn't been the case. Armin had only been able to give Levi Heichou his blades and send him off to help the other soldiers. When he thought about it he still felt a pang of regret deep in the pit of his stomach.
So, he'd decided that he needed to go. He needed to leave Mitras and all the surrounding cities and he just needed to get out. He wanted to see the world, or at least go back to that beach that he'd seen with Eren and Mikasa. He remembered the way the cool water kissed his skin as they splashed around in it, the way the sand had felt beneath his bare feet. He dreamed about that freedom, really for as long as he could remember, and he longed to taste it again.
He'd decided not to tell Mikasa where he was going. She was with Levi and they were expecting a baby, not to mention that Reiner had left Gabi with them. They'd suddenly found themselves with a full house and he didn't want to burden either of them with his own selfish needs and desires. He'd stopped by the day before, intending to tell Mikasa his plans, but she seemed so happy with her growing belly and Levi at her side that he'd decided against it at the last second. He knew she could tell something was wrong with him, but he just brushed it off as being tired. She'd finally started to move on from Eren, and Armin wasn't about to ruin any progress that she'd made.
He still found it kind of difficult to swallow the fact that Mikasa had so heedlessly dropped her infatuation with Eren. It wasn't like she didn't care anymore, he knew she still cared deeply for him, that was evident in the way that she'd mutilated the cart titan's corpse after it had killed him. He knew that she still loved Eren without a doubt, but the fact that she'd been able to move on with Levi, someone much older and more than likely related to her, didn't sit quite right with him. Still, he knew that Eren had been happy to see her happy, and that had made Armin happy in return. Really all he'd ever wanted was his friend's happiness, he just thought that they would find it with each other. Regardless, what was done was done, and he had been fine enough with it that he had never said anything to Mikasa about it, not even the night before he left.
So, the morning after he'd talked to her he saddled his horse and set off for the very same beach where they'd all been before their covert mission. He knew it would take a long while to get there, but with no dangers on his way there he was confident he could make it. If he had been sent on a mission like this even a year before he would have been paralyzed with fear at the very thought, but he knew he could take care of himself now.
He wondered if he should have at least told Hanji. Regardless of the fact that the Corps had disbanded, he still valued her opinion and wanted to make sure she knew it. It all just seemed like a burden that no one needed to bear but him, though. He wondered if anyone would have tried to stop him from leaving, but somehow he doubted it. He didn't have much time left to live, although he had quite a bit longer than Reiner. He briefly wondered what had happened to the man that he'd learned to call his friend again, but when he thought about it he remembered that he would probably rather not know for sure. Someone like him wouldn't have left Gabi, the only family member he had left, with anyone else unless he'd planned to do something hasty or dangerous.
Armin shook the thoughts of Reiner's demise from his head as he galloped forward, letting the wind blow back his hair and feeling the resistance of it on his clothes as he made progress toward his destination. He didn't really know what he was going to do when he got there. Somehow he doubted that the beach would be as much fun without Eren and Mikasa there with him. It had really always been the three of them, always together, always stronger that way. He smiled as he remembered Eren's smile and the way his eyes lit up when he was determined or angry and then immediately his joy turned to ashes as he remembered that he would never see that smile again.
His thoughts slowed and eventually tapered off when he finally reached his destination. The sun was beginning to set over the water as he dismounted, kicking off his boots and rolling up the legs of his pants before he waded into the steady waves near the shore. He closed his eyes as he let the sun kiss his skin, remembering the day when they'd all been there together. He could almost hear Connie and Sasha splashing each other, the idle chat of the other's in the 104th as they marveled at the beauty of the ocean. He raked his hands through his wind blown hair as a tear slid down his face remembering the looks of awe on the faces of his two best friends in the world. To him the memory was one of his best, because in that moment he had felt completely free, it felt like home. He dropped to his knees in the ocean as a slow, sad smile spread across his face.
“At least we all made it to the ocean together.” He said quietly to himself, letting his hands fall to his sides as the soft, salty mist of the ocean wafted over him. “Even if it was only once.”