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To prove herself, beyond failed spells, broken jars, spilt concoctions, and hours of sweeping. She’s something more, not just plain old ‘Clare’. At the same time she is not just ‘The Gatekeeper’. Udonna provides a life, the best substitute for a mother she will never know. Someone who won’t let the crushing thoughts of her mother’s sacrifice get to her, instead protect, without mollycoddling. And now here she stands, sorceresses of rootcore, feeling like she’s, both earnt and didn’t deserve this role. The worst thing is how much she misses just sweeping and barely getting by magic wise.
Always the watcher, willing to view from the side lines, being a ranger has taken that away from her, coaxing her tentatively out of her shell. Nick’s gone, leaving a trail of dusty promises in his wake. His absence is easier to cope with than the absence of Udonna’s guidance. It’s not that she doesn’t trust Clare, far from it. Its more the fact that Clare’s presence means Maddie will have to confront feelings that she is afraid to face.
Clare tastes like thyme and honey, heady, pushed up against the wall. She feels soft, softer than Maddie ever let herself imagine. All the layers of her dress sweeping around there feet, it’s one of those soaring kisses, with a perfect ebb and flow, Maddie’s foot pops not by accident.
To Clare kissing Maddie feels like drinking at a fresh river after you’ve walked for miles. The sudden relief of something you have needed so badly and for so long. It fills her up tremendously. And she lets herself take charge of the kiss, pulling Maddie towards her until she’s up against the wall. Maddie’s breathy little moans of “Clare” ringing in their ears, echoing around rootcore.
“Clare” except that Clare was defiantly not said by either of them. They break apart quickly, Maddie apologetically smothering Clare’s dress back down, as they turn to stare at the interrupter. Or as it turns out interrupters.
Udonna and Nick stand there, Nick’s face frozen in shock. Udonna looking more perplexed than anything.
It kills Clare how she feels Maddie stiffen up next to her upon seeing Nick. The way her heart twists as Maddie steps away, heading towards Nick, who receives her with some smile Clare can’t quite work out. She wishes the wall would swallow her up. The look Udonna gives her, shows that her mother figure knows exactly what she is going to do next, and how disappointed she is in her.The tears that are spilling from her eyes don’t feel salty, instead they taste the same as Madison, teasing Clare, as if every tear she will ever shed from now one will remind her of what she can’t have. She breathes out a spell quietly without messing it up, and disappears, leaving an emptiness in her place.