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Luci looked in to the crib as the delighted hazel eyes of Sam glinted in the faint light given off by the dancing sparks around him. Swaying to and fro, tiny hands would reach up and try to touch the light and squeaks of joy would escape his small aw-drawn mouth. This was one of Luci’s favorite things to do. It made him smile. So few things did that weren’t messy.
Tonight was different. Tonight he had to change the fate of the littlest Winchester whom he’d taken a liking to not long after conception. That’s when he had decided to take it upon himself to be a guardian not long ago. Since then, he’d skipped ahead in this timeline and it hurt what he had seen. Little tragic things stemming from events that would happen come sunrise. He couldn’t let that play out.
Knowing what he did, in light of protest from his brothers, Luci set a new path in motion for the child, drawing Sam’s mother to her fate that night. He vowed to watch over him but step aside for all but a few visits now and then.
The only home Sam had ever known was soon engulfed in flames.
****
Not more than 3, Sam was outside a small motel playing with an old baseball he had found while Dean had walked to the gas station to steal food for them because Dad had been gone a few days. Losing his grip, the ball tumbled in to the street and the little Winchester chased after it oblivious to the approaching truck.
The ball rolled to a stop as Sam stepped out from behind the parked car, arms outstretched to recapture his treasure. Tires screeched as they approached Sam and then suddenly the entire vehicle was vaulted into a light pole across the street; the side smashed in like it had been hit with another truck. Sam looked up as the truck came to rest. The metal still creaking and the leaking fluids in various colored pools pouring from its husk, Sam returned his gaze to the ball. In its place was a blonde man with soft eyes kneeling in front of him holding it out to him. “You have to be more careful, Sam.”
Sam smiled, “Okay,” and took the ball as he was scooped up and carried back in to the motel.
****
More and more, when alone, Sam would cry. He had to be strong for Dean. But when Dean wasn’t around, he would cry. If he were alone, afraid, and worried the tears would come. With those soft cries in the darkness, Luci would appear out of thin smoke to cradle and rock him to sleep. Always letting the little stars of light dance around Sam until he quieted and stilled.
****
As Sam grew through adolescence he would forget about his star-lit friend except now and then when he would find a small stack of books near wherever he had awoken with a beautifully scrawled note tucked inside that read, “be careful” with a tiny star drawn on the bottom. This made him smile and he would lose himself in the books for days.
****
Days before his 13th, Sam was packing up his things; they were moving again. Tired, he slumped in to a corner and began to cry uncontrollably. “I DON’T WANT THIS LIFE!” He cried out, tears streaming down his face, not caring who heard him.
A tiny spark skirted his vision and faded away. Then another one jigged a bit before it burned out. Shortly a dozen appeared dancing about him. His crying ceased and Sam just sat there in aw watching the light show; memories flooding back of his Guardian Angel and he smiled. For the first time in what seemed like ages, Sam could not help but smile.
There was a sudden chill in the air and thin veil of smoke filled the otherwise empty room. Excitedly Sam stood up looking around trying to see as the air cleared. Sitting across the room on the edge of the bed was his Angel. Sam’s face lit up. He knew he wasn’t dreaming when his Angel stood up to greet him with a hug.
Hugging him incredibly tight, Luci’s arms encased the boy. All Sam’s tension and frustration melted away and he returned the embrace with force. Pulling away for a moment, “I thought I wouldn’t see you again.”
Luci had to lie for the first time in his existence and it broke his heart. “Sam, I’ll always be there when you need me.” He pulled Sam back in to a tight embrace, “That’s what guardian angels are for.”
He released one arm, pressing his thumb to Sam’s forehead. Sam fell limp in his arms and he carried the body to the bed. Brushing the mop of hair away from the boys face as his own tears began to fall, “I’m sorry, Sam, but angels don’t exist.”