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Steph opens the door to the dormitory of Blackwell Academy. It seems like just yesterday that she was staying in the same dorm. Everything looks the same as before she graduated, but there is a sense of dread and gloom lingering in the air. Steph's footsteps echo along the corridor as she walks into the otherwise quiet dormitory.
Too quiet.
Steph finally reaches the end of the corridor and stops in front of room 219. She inhaled sharply before knocking softly on the door.
She waits, her eyes darting towards the slate besides the door that is full of words of encouragement and drawings.
‘Take care, Max!’
‘You are fucking brave!’
A drawing of a smiley face with hearts around it.
‘Stay Strong’
‘Storms don’t last forever’
No response.
She knocks again, harder this time.
Silence filled the air.
Steph shifts her weight between her feet uncomfortably.
More time passes.
Steph decides that the girl she needs to meet is probably not in and turns to walk away.
Just then, the door of room 219 creaks open slowly.
“Who... who is it?”
Steph turns to the source of the voice. The girl peeking from the room is petite, her shoulders hunched, her hair is in a frizzy mess like she just woke up, her eyes red and puffy with dark rings underneath them.
Steph wonders how long it has been since this girl has proper sleep. Probably a week. It has been a week since the shooting.
"Hey… you're Max, right? I'm Steph. I'm a- I'm a friend of Chloe. Kinda."
Max looks up, eyes widen. For a moment, Steph sees something lit up in Max's eyes but is quickly extinguished by the whirlpool of darkness in her eyes.
"Well… I'm actually here to- I just want to have a chat with you, if that's ok?"
Max looks at Steph with uncertainty. She has never heard of Steph from Chloe before. But then again, she has only had the luxury of spending five days with her best friend before she takes it all away with her own hands. How much does she know about Chloe anyway? Not much.
“May I?”
"S- sure… Co-come on in…" Max stammers while holding the door open.
Steph walks in and is immediately in awe with Max's room decoration. There is a beautiful photo wall filled with Polaroids, with lanterns string across the wall. The rest of the walls are decorated with hippy posters and pictures of what Steph guess are famous people. A couch is placed on the left of the room with a guitar lying on the floor.
Max's room must have been real cozy before the tragedy. Now, her bed is unmade with the blanket and pillow on the floor. There is a box on the floor with the word "pictures" scribbled on it, and photos spread all over her carpet, that ironically reads "Keep Calm and Carry On". A potted plant is near the window, leaves brown and wilting from neglect.
Steph turns and sees Max looking at her nervously, body hunching and hands wrapping uncertainly around her body.
"Well... I think we should sit down?" Steph invites herself onto Max's couch, pats on the seat next to her to signal Max to join her.
"Y - you know Chloe?" Max sits down, leaving a comfortable distance between them.
"Yeah… we used to hang out," Steph pulls her beanie off to reveal her flaming red hair. She can see Max staring at her hair with an expression she cannot quite fathom.
"Your hair… it-it's red," Max has a look of intensity in her eyes, "Chloe's blue."
"Oh yeah. I actually helped her colored her hair blue the first time," Steph runs her fingers through her hair mindlessly. "She wanted a color that contrasts with mine."
Max claws on her jeans anxiously. "I-I never knew she has any friends," Max mutters, "other than Rachel…" her voice trails off.
Steph laughs dryly and her breath hitches.
"Of course she would consider Rachel her only friend. In fact, I'm sure she considered Rachel her angel too."
Her voice is now dripping with sadness.
"I do too. So do many people in school. Rachel is the princess of Blackwell. Everyone likes her. Everyone wants her attention. I'm not surprised Nathan would resort to abducting her just to gain that attention. He's always been a nutcase. I just never expect this little shit to have the balls to kill someone, goddammit!"
Steph chokes, looks away to prevent Max from seeing her eyes red with tears, her hand reaches up to thumb her pendant that is in the shape of a dragon.
"I'm a friend of Chloe too, ya know, or at least I consider myself to be. We used to play D&D together, with Mikey. We were the cool nerds of Blackwell."
Max looks at Steph with glassy eyes. She and Chloe used to play D&D when they were kids. Chloe was not that big into the game, but Max would always persuade Chloe to play with her.
‘Chloe, please… who else would play D&D with me?’
"Pl-please tell me, what's Chloe like? Is… was she happy in school?"
Max digs her nails into her jeans and looks at Steph with eyes pleading. She needs to know this badly.
Please, tell me about the Chloe you know.
Steph gazes into Max's eyes. The dark clouds in her eyes seem to have lifted slightly. She takes in a deep breath and exhales loudly.
"She's always angry, truth be told. I heard she used to be a straight As student. But after her dad died, she just got so pissed with everything and everyone. It's hard to maintain any kind of relationship with her."
Steph pauses and scrunches the beanie in her hands before continuing.
"We invited her to play D&D with us whenever she was in school, and ya know, she ain't in school a lot. Sometimes she would entertain us but at times, she was just too angry to talk to anyone without snapping. We kind of left her alone when she was in that kinda mood."
Max's breathing is uneven now. She anxiously brings her fingers up to bite on her nails, or what is left of it.
"Rachel was the only one she listened to and the only one who could get to her when she was in that ‘I hate the world' mood. Mikey and I can simply help by keeping her busy with our D&D games, which she was very good at, by the way, but we kind of drifted apart after a certain… incident."
Max looks at Steph inquisitively. But before Max can ask further, Steph utters what Max wishes to hear the most.
"Ya know, she talks about you all the time."
Max looks up, tears starting to well up in her eyes and threatening to fall. Her nose is already red as she sniffles.
"She told us you were her BFF and that you played D&D with her all the time. She said you kicked her ass at this game," Steph smiles bitterly at Max. "Maybe that's why she was so good at D&D. She had all the training from you that she was kicking our ass at our game!"
Max chuckles as her tears fall. Steph can't tell if she is laughing or sobbing. It is probably both.
Steph scoots closer and wraps an arm around her reassuringly.
"Hey… I know it's been real tough on you. You're really strong to have gone through all these. I just want you to know that I'm here for you, ok? Even though we've only just met today, but it feels like I've known you for a long time… since Chloe can't stop talking about you…"
Max whimpers and chokes back her tears when she hears that.
"What… What did Chloe say about me?"
Steph continues rubbing Max's back soothingly.
"You sure you want to know this now? We can always discuss this again, ya know."
“I need to know. Please.”
Steph sighs. She is never good with girls shedding tears in front of her. She has psyched herself up for days before making the decision to come back to Blackwell. Steph knows that she has to meet the legendary Max Caulfield, the best friend of Chloe Price, the poor girl who witnessed her best friend's shooting and had her bled out in her arms.
The Tragedy of Arcadia Bay.
It is the least she can do for Chloe.
"Chloe… told us you are the most important person in her life other than her parents. I think you are her only friend before Rachel and me."
Steph's hand goes back to touching her necklace and the dragon-shaped pendant again.
"Don't get me wrong. Chloe was quite popular in school. She hung out with the skaters and even had a boyfriend for a while, though she always said it's a fling. She never stayed with a group for long. Maybe that's why she never considered Mikey and me her friends."
Steph looks into Max's eyes again. The tears have stopped but her eyes are still red and puffy. A contrast with her dark, blue eyes.
"But when we do hang out, Chloe would always share how she wished you were here with her. How you would play this game, how you would probably kick all our asses at D&D. She's very proud of that too, though I always gave her the finger for saying that."
Steph chuckles which brings a smile to Max’s face.
"She told us that you left her for Seattle. She always wanted to hop on a train to go to Seattle to find you one day. Maybe give you a punch in the gut for leaving her. But I know she wouldn't dare to do that. She loved you too much. I could tell."
Max furrows her brows and shakes her head.
"Chloe h- hated me. For leaving her."
"Well, she said she hated you, but I know it's all a front. That's Chloe for you. She's all big talk, but she's a big softie at heart."
Steph looks up at Max with certainty in her eyes.
"Especially towards you. And Rachel."
Max wrings her hands nervously when she heard Rachel's name.
"Can you tell me more about Rachel… and Chloe?"
Steph sighs and bites her lower lip.
"They are…" Steph clears her throat uneasily, "I mean, they were really good friends. Best friends. More than friends, even. No one would have thought that they would become so close. After all, Rachel is Miss Perfect with GPA score of 4.0 and Chloe… Well, Chloe is the school dropout and the delinquent of Blackwell."
Steph places her hands behind her head and rests onto her palms. She takes a deep breath and exhales slowly. Her cheeks flush slightly pink.
"I'm not surprised though. I've seen a side of Rachel that not many people have seen before. She can be reckless and wild and unbridled. I guess that's what attracts Chloe to her. Rachel was… very charming."
Steph looks down, her voice turns light and soft.
"That's also what attracted me to her."
Max turns to look at Steph, her brows furrow as her mind tries, in vain, to process this information.
“Sorry?”
"I- ah- I kinda have a crush on Rachel too. You remember I said Chloe and I were friends until a certain incident?"
Max nods slowly.
"Well… I kinda asked Rachel out on a date. Behind Chloe's back."
Max eyes widen in surprise, staring at Steph in disbelief.
"Rachel said yes, and we went out. That's when I realized that Rachel had the capacity to love a lot of people. I mean, I'm sure she loved Chloe, ya know. But Rachel is a free spirit and it's hard for her to be tied down by anyone."
Steph shifts in her seat uncomfortably. This conversation is getting harder by the minute. She closes her eyes to steady her breathing. Memory of that warm, summer day floods her mind.
She remembers Rachel's lips on hers, so warm and soft.
She remembers Rachel telling her how she much she loved dragons while kissing her neck, stroking her dragon-shaped pendant.
She remembers Rachel showing her the dragon tattoo on her calf, as her fingers gently caress the outline of Rachel's dragon-shaped ink.
She remembers Chloe yelling at her, with tears in her eyes, grabbing her by the collar.
How could you betray me? You were my friend!
She remembers the punch to her face that left her seeing stars.
I never want to see you again. You make me sick!
She remembers never seeing Chloe again, not in school, not in Arcadia Bay, not ever again.
Steph opens her eyes to find Max waiting patiently for her to continue. She has to do this. Not just for Max, but for Chloe, and maybe even herself.
A much needed closure.
"Unlucky for me, Chloe found out and she flew into a rage. She felt that I betrayed her. I know I did too. She said she never wanted to see me again. And that… that was the last time I saw Chloe."
Steph looks up at the ceiling, willing herself not to cry. Max reaches for the tissue box on her desk, taking two sheets of tissue and passing it to Steph. Steph daps it on her eyes and sniffles.
"I know I've let Chloe down. I know I need to do something to redeem myself, for Chloe. That's why I'm here. To fulfill Chloe's last wish."
Max looks at Steph in confusion.
"Wh- What last wish? I don't remember Chloe s-saying anything."
Max thinks hard at the five days that never happened. William's camera that Chloe gave to her was given to her by Joyce in this timeline, right after the funeral. Max has taken all of Chloe's photos as a keepsake, as Joyce can barely look at them. She doesn't remember Joyce mentioning any last wish that Chloe had, for Max.
"She's been writing letters to you, ya know?"
Max is jolted out of her daze, trying hard to digest what Steph just said.
"She never told anyone about it. Not even Rachel. But I'd seen her write it. She kept them all in a journal."
Max's eyes widen in surprise at this information.
"I've ne- never received any letters from Chloe."
Steph turns to look at Max.
"That's because she never sent them, that coward. I think she's afraid of rejection, from you. Afraid you might not reply her. Since, well, you never kept in contact with her."
The words Steph just said feels like a stab in the heart to Max. Max lowers her head, her brown hair curtains her face, her shoulders start trembling.
"I- I'm a terrible friend. S- she needed me and I left. I just... I dunno how to make her better. I love William like a father too, a- and he's gone so suddenly. I- I dunno how to handle it. I was a mess and then…" Max starts to sob, "Dad said he found a job in Se- Seattle and w-we all gotta go. I didn't know how to tell Chloe. She was so an- angry with me. She said she never… she said she never ever want to talk to me again."
Steph put her hand on Max's shoulder to console her but Max is now a sobbing mess.
"Life w- was hard in Seattle. I had a hard time settling in. I know it's not a good enough excuse. I sh-should have kept in touch with Chloe."
"Hey, hey, hush, look at me, hey."
Steph wraps her arms around Max, trying her best to calm Max.
She remembers the day she found out about the death of Chloe and Rachel. Both died in the hands of Nathan Prescott, the little shit who used to be bullied in school, who became a big bully himself and helped that jackass Jefferson exploit the girls from Blackwell for his sick photography sessions.
She remembers being a sobbing mess like what Max is now. It hurts. It hurts to lose two good friends at once.
"It's not your fault. Sometimes, life happens. It's no one's fault."
Steph hopes that will convince Max, even if she is not convinced by her own reasoning herself.
"Chloe messaged me a month ago."
Steph says softly, still holding onto Max. She can hear Max trying to steady her breath between her sobs, trembling softly into Steph's arms. Max seems to finally registers what Steph has said, and turns to look at her, blushing slightly when she realizes how close Steph is.
"Ch-Chloe messaged you?"
Steph nods and smiles at Max while rubbing her shoulders comfortingly, trying to prepare Max for what she is about to say.
"She wanted to know if I have any clue where Rachel was. She thought Rachel had left for LA and since I'm studying there, she may have contacted me. Ya know, it must have been hard for Chloe to contact me first, considering how angry she was with me. But she was desperate, trying to exhaust all her resources to find Rachel."
Steph recalls her surprise when she saw Chloe's message. She has left Arcadia Bay for college in Los Angeles and never expected Chloe to contact her. The sense of relief and pangs of guilt that stung her is still fresh on her mind. She misses Chloe, and she regrets betraying her trust.
"In that moment of desperation, we reconnected, even though it's only over messages and never phone calls. She kept thinking that Rachel had abandoned her, ran off to LA without her. She needed someone, anyone to talk to her, to comfort her, to let her know she ain't a hopeless idiot that people kept walking out on."
She remembers Chloe's messages seeping with anger and hurt.
“My dad left me. Max left me. Now, even Rachel has left me. Everyone has fucking walked out on me!”
“I'm here, Chloe. I'm still here. Always.”
Steph wishes she is here sooner. To let Chloe know she was not alone.
It is all too late now.
"Two weeks ago, Chloe told me she was planning on coming to LA. Said she would have the money very soon. She just needed to make sure the dumbass she was asking money from will give her enough cash. I never knew she wanted to blackmail Nathan. If I've known, I would have stopped her. Damn! I should have stopped her…"
Steph covers her face with her hands and shakes her head.
"I should have stopped her..."
It is Max's turn to wrap her arm around Steph, pulling her into a side hug.
Two broken people crying over the same girl, with same pain and regret.
Both know they have the ability to stop Chloe's death.
None manages to do so.
"Chloe said she was planning on a new life. Even if she's not able to find Rachel in LA, she'll find a job there and start afresh," Steph mutters softly, voice breaking.
"She said she would catch up with me in LA in two weeks’ time. Said she had buried her past, all the baggage of the past years, at the secret hideout marked X on the map at the cliff. She said she hoped that one day, you'll go back to the secret hideout and dig out the treasure she had left for you."
Steph clutches her beanie tightly, anxious to share with Max the reason she is here.
"When I came back to Arcadia Bay, I went looking for it. The ‘buried past' she mentioned. I took great pains to look for that place, ya know. It took me a while, but I finally managed to find the secret hideout, and dug out the box that Chloe buried.”
Steph digs into her bag and pulled out a little black book. She smiles at Max expectantly and pushes it into her hands.
"It's buried at your childhood secret hideout." Steph grins as Max's eyes widen, her blue eyes totally clear of the dark pool of despair clouding her eyes earlier.
"Here. It's Chloe's letters to you. Letters she never sent."
Max held the black book in her trembling hands. The cover of the book has the words ‘For Max' scribbled on it.
Chloe's handwriting.
Her heart is pounding in her chest. A part of Chloe is in her hands. The part that she abandoned for 5 years and never knew.
Max opens the book carefully, afraid that she might tear the book apart if she turns the page any faster.
Max's name jumps out from the pages. Hand-drawn pictures of Max, of Chloe, of them as pirates, of Arcadia Bay, are all over the pages. Lines and lines of Chloe's handwriting are screaming to be read. But the most prominent words on every page of that black book is Max's name.
Large and clear and carefully decorated.
Max! Max! Max!
Her name is screaming out at her. Chloe is screaming out at her.
Chloe's memories, Chloe's anger, Chloe's despair, Chloe's desperation, Chloe's pain, Chloe's sadness, Chloe's hope, Chloe's dreams, Chloe's love.
Max breaks down. She covers her face with her hands and wails, no longer able to contain herself. For the past week, she has been controlling and suppressing her sorrow, her guilt, her desolation, her remorse, her grief, her devastation.
All that is released in the torrent of tears. In sobs and sniffles and shivers.
Steph hugs Max and shed tears of her own.
Tears for Chloe, whom she calls a friend. Tears for Rachel, a one-time lover.
And tears for Max, who suffered a loss greater than her.
“Th- Thank you... Steph, thank you…”
Max whimpers as she cries into Steph’s shoulder.
“Thank you so much for this… th- thank you.”
As Steph holds onto Max and whispers.
“No Max. Thank you.”
A much needed closure. For herself, and hopefully for Max too.
As she looks out the window and admires the golden hue flowing into Max’s room, her eyes caught a blue butterfly by the window pane. Its wings fluttering and shimmering, shining in the autumn’s sun.
Glittering in the golden hour.
As if saying,
“Thank you.”