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Kei liked space.
He liked the idea that there was more than these ignorant people who filled the world so tightly he thought he was suffocating.
He would sit for hours in his room, coloring planets and aliens and the sun. He would draw black holes and stars and astronauts. Also dinosaurs, of course, but Akiteru told him that dinosaurs don't exist anymore and space does (he called Kei and idiot when he asked if the dinosaurs are in space). And Akiteru is in eighth grade so he knows everything.
Kei believed that if there was something out there, besides humans and earth, maybe the things that seemed important weren't actually that important. Maybe he didn't have to worry about the things that forced stinging tears into his eyes, even when he tried to keep them away. Surely the aliens didn't care that he got a bad grade on an assignment.
Even if his mom didn't hang it on the fridge and Akiteru laughed, surely the aliens didn't care.
He was fascinated and comforted by the thought of aliens, but Kei was entirely baffled when he learned that the stars make pictures in the sky. Suddenly his scribbles went from regular space dinosaurs to constellation dinosaurs, “connect-the-dot” looking drawings of every type of prehistoric beast he knew. Kei asked for a telescope and only a telescope, and if he didn't get it he was gonna go live at NASA. Luckily, the telescope was sitting wrapped in the living room when he woke up on his 13th birthday.
Constellations and dinosaurs were his secret passions all throughout middle school, the only people who knew were his science teachers and his best friend, Yamaguchi Tadashi. When Tadashi finally (accidentally) found out about Kei’s love for the stars, he became increasingly interested. He didn't know much, and it was obvious his friend did, so he asked all sorts of questions, to the point where they would spend hours and hours just talking about space. Kei tried to memorize every constellation in the sky, which is impossible, but he tried nevertheless. For his 14th birthday, he wanted a constellation map, and only a constellation map, and if he didn't get it, he would take Tadashi and they would live at NASA. He figured that the threat worked last year, so maybe it would work again. He got exactly what he wanted, and Tadashi suggested hanging in on his ceiling, so he could see the stars before he fell asleep.
Kei teetered and tried his very hardest not to go tumbling down as he scotch taped his map to his ceiling, standing on a chair that was precariously perched on his science textbooks on his bed. That was the very first time he broke his arm, but he figured it was worth it. The stars were worth it. In the summer between junior high and Karasuno High School, a boy from Kei’s volleyball team came over to spend the night. He quickly discovered his unearthly obsession, and that's when Kei’s world crumbled.
The teasing was relentless.
Not only did he ruin volleyball for him, he ruined school, he ruined space, and he ripped apart Kei’s love for constellations. He destroyed everything that Kei cared about.
It wasn't until Akiteru found the drawings and pictures of space dinosaurs in the trash can that he realized what had happened. He pulled everything out of the garbage, smoothed out the wrinkles, and laid them on Kei’s bed.
He kept them, but no one, even Tadashi, had been allowed to see that part of him since.
Although he still loved space, he couldn't love it like he used to. It was tarnished, damaged.
When he met Hinata and Kageyama, he really didn't want them to find out. He thought both of them were dumb, or at least not smart enough to figure it out, so Kei didn't really try to hide it as vehemently. But when Hinata asked, “Which star is your favorite? I know you love them.” He was stunned.
“How… How did you know I like stars?” Kei stuttered.
Hinata rolled his eyes, “I may be a dumbass, but even I can tell, stupid. You always stare at them when we leave practice at night, and your face is like gwah!” He motioned to the sky, then brought his arms down and did jazz-hands near his eyes. Kageyama nodded, he always had a lot less enthusiasm than Hinata.
Kei’s immediate instinct was to deny everything, get the hell outta dodge and ignore his least favorite dumbasses for the rest of his life. It was tempting.
But there was also that crushing feeling he got every time he brushed hands with one of the two of them, or when Hinata smiled, or the look Kageyama got on his face when they performed a successful quick. It was all-consuming and felt kinda suffocating. He'd liked to have hated it, but he didn't. The feeling was there, rivaling the fight or flight instinct and surprisingly, winning.
Ultimately, he stayed. He stayed because Hinata had asked him a question about stars, and seemed genuinely interested. He stayed because Kageyama looked so damn confused when Kei tried to point out specific constellations, like he couldn't see them. Kageyama smiled, though, and maybe that's the real reason Kei stayed.
There were lots of times after when Kei made the same decision to stay. And thank fuck for that, because otherwise he wouldn't be laying in the bed of Tobio’s truck, looking at the sky and thinking, my favorite constellation is us.