Chapter Text
Monokid - Event #1
Shuichi Saihara: (Why did I want to hang out with this thing, again? I think there are better choices than this.)
Monokid: So fuckboy over here wanted to take me out somewhere, huh? You wanna make puddles of blood with my Exisal? Play Monodam-darts?! All the classic type of erotic stuff, of course!
Shuichi: (He's like Miu if everything sexual turned into violence, and without any of the useful inventions...)
Monokid: HEY! Did you take me on a date just to ignore me?!
Shuichi: Hey, uh, Monokid...
Monokid: WHAT?!
Shuichi: Why do you carry that guitar around?
Monokid: 'Cause I can PLAY! OOOBVIOUSLY!
Shuichi: Really? You know any songs?
Monokid: I know all the classic guitar songs! Like uh...
That one anime opening where it all starts with the Guitar and it's like "DEEEER DOOOO DER DOOOO DOOO!"
Or the other anime opening and, uh, something other happens with guitars I'm sure...
And there's plenty of remixes of video game songs that use the guitar even when it doesn't fit with the song at all!
Shuichi: I... see.
Monokid: Oh, and most importantly I know that really good guitar track where they somehow play it at fucking inhuman speed like 'DURNURNURNURNURNURNURNURNURNURNURNURNURNUR
DURNURNURNURNURNURNURNURNURNURNURNUR
DANURNURNURNURNURNURNURNURNURNURNURNURNUR
DANURNURNURNURNURNURNUNANANANANNAN
I GO ON INTO MORNING, IN THE TIME BEFORE THE-
Shuichi: Okay, okay! I get what you mean.
(I didn't think Monokid actually played the guitar he had...)
>Do you take requests?
>Any of the other Kubs play anything?
>Are you confident in your playing?
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>Do you take requests?
Shuichi: Excuse me for asking, but, are there anything I could request for you to play?
Monokid: Only if I feel like it! Which is fuckin' never! Shitty students don't know good guitar music if it was thrown at their face!
Shuichi: I'm not sure; what you described sounds like something teenagers would like...
Monokid: Well what have ya got then?! Show me what ya got, jabroni!
Shuichi: Uh... never mind. Most of the stuff I like doesn't have your kind of guitar playing.
Monokid: Pah, fine. I've been thinking up of a good Monodam diss-track anyhow!
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>Any of the other Kubs play anything?
Shuichi: Do any of the other Monokubs supposedly play any other instruments?
Monokid: Hey, waddya' mean "supposedly"?!
But unfortunately not! I'm the only Kub with actual talent in here! And better than all you chumps!
Shuichi: (At least those talents have actually been proven...)
Monokid: But I could totally see Monosuke with a cool sax or somethin'.
Or Monophanie with a tainty-ass harp, or Monotaro with some sorta... piano maybe?
Shuichi: (Please do not think of insulting a piano like that.)
Monokid: But Monodam wouldn't be able to do anything better than a fuckin' Triangle. HA!
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>Are you confident in your playing?
Shuichi: You... have a lot of confidence in your playing, huh?
Monokid: Of COURSE! Otherwise I wouldn't get a rock hard rager at my own hardcore tunes n' shit!
Shuichi: Then I hope to hear what you can do, I guess.
Monokid: My motto is making slow guitar pieces actually good
Wait, I meant slow!
Wait, I meant SOLO! I'm gonna convince Monodam he made me make that mistake!
---
Monokid: Whew, didn't think I'd talk to someone that wasn't another Kub for so long!
Shuichi: (I didn't I would talk to a Monokub like this at all...)
Er, Monokid?
Monokid: Wut?
Shuichi: I've kept hearing about how you bully this 'Monodam'. What for?
Monokid: Why the hell not?! He's a dumb robot that keeps going all 'EYE. WAN. TUU. GET. A. LAWN.' and shit like that.
Better that he shuts his stupid yap and knows his fuckin' place!
Shuichi: Do none of the other Kubs of yours seem to care?
Monokid: They don't tell me, so prob'ly not! I've been bullying Monodam since I was born!
Shuichi: Since you were... born?
Monokid: ...
Monokid: Well I gotta go! I'll bear with you later!
Shuichi: (And with that, he left in a flash.)
You obtained a friendship fragment from hanging out with Monokid! Somehow...