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Alphonse looked up, the edge of his helmet scraping along the inside of his metal collar. Moonlight glinted harshly off of steel as he leaned forward from where he was seated on the floor at the foot of Ed’s bed.
“Brother?”
Edward groaned again, but he was clearly asleep. Clearly, because at no other time would he let his little brother see him cry. Al’s eyes narrowed in concern as the pale light caught two thin tear-tracks gracing Ed’s cheeks.
The suit of armor stood up, taking great care to move slowly and be as quiet as possible. What was wrong? It wasn’t as if they hadn’t seen enough to cause a lifetime of nightmares, but Ed had never had trouble sleeping before. He’d never cried before. Al stepped closer, his huge shadow looming over the bed, his hands reaching out tentatively.
“Al!”
Alphonse jumped a little at the sudden outcry of his name -- not only was Ed calling for him, but he was doing it so desperately, frantically. His voice was breaking and new tears were falling from his eyes, staining the sheets that he clutched in a white-knuckled hand as he started to thrash against the pillow.
“No! AL!”
His flesh hand groped wildly at thin air. Hesitantly, Al moved his leather-bound gauntlet forward; Ed’s fingers skimmed along the metal, then seemed to reject it as he kept reaching for human warmth that wasn’t there. Al felt something deep inside him ache, something that made it hard to see and impossible to speak.
No matter what he tells me to my face, is this what he really thinks of me? He can’t even recognize me?!
“Al... Please -- please, give him back! GIVE HIM BACK! He’s my brother. He’s all I’ve got left!”
Alphonse’s armor was shaking softly, the individual pieces rattling, and he wished he could cry. More than that, he wished he could pick his brother up and embrace him like he had used to do. Many nights after their mother had died, when they had stayed up all night alone in their once-happy house, Ed would abruptly throw down his book and sit on the floor and stare at nothing. Alphonse would go to him and their eyes would meet, so bright with unshed tears, and they would simply sit leaning against each other, holding hands, and promise again that they would see this through to the end.
It had been years now since they’d renewed that bond. Alphonse felt its lack as sharply as a knife, and maybe Ed’s soul felt some of it too. Thus the nightmares.
While Al was still debating what he could do -- what comfort could he possibly give? -- Ed gave another strangled cry and sat bolt upright, breathing hard. In the dim light, a thin sheen of sweat glistened on his body, mixing with the tears already on his face. He sat there, staring straight ahead with wide golden eyes, until he shuddered softly and drew one knee up to his chest, wrapping his arms around himself and bowing his head.
A gentle weight rested on his shoulder and he looked up in surprise into Al’s expressionless helmet.
Ed blinked through the tears that were still slowly trickling down his face. “Oh, hey, Al. I didn’t mean to disturb you.”
“Brother...”
Al’s voice was small and quiet, so lost and helpless, and so incredibly sad. He bowed his armored head and wouldn’t look up.
“Alphonse.” Edward rarely used his little brother’s full name, so now it hit hard, with all the weight of his heart behind it. “Al, I... I’m sorry.” The facade utterly gone, he gasped in a deep breath, eyes tightly closed. “I’m sorry you’re all alone here at night. I’m so sorry there’s nothing I can do for you, and that --”
His words were cut off as his face was pressed suddenly to Al’s shoulder armor, the cold metal a shock against his skin. Huge, infinitely strong arms wrapped around his slender frame, holding him close as neither of them wanted to let go. Ed let his own arms clasp instinctively around Al’s broad neck and his head fell wearily to Al’s chest.
“Al, I --”
“It’s okay, Brother. I understand. It’s okay.”
“But it’s not!” Ed pushed himself away, enough to look Al in the eyes. “You’re not okay!”
“Really?” Al’s voice held a sad smile. “I am not okay? But you’re the one crying.”
The blond stiffened, then quickly touched his left hand to his own face. “I... I’m crying?” Looking at the wetness clinging to his fingertips, he closed his eyes briefly only to face Al a moment later, new determination burning bright in his eyes. His hand closed into a fist so tight that the nails bit into his palm, but it was a welcome pain because it meant that he was alive. And as long as he was alive, he would continue to fight.
“I’m gonna see this through,” he announced, no longer ashamed of the tears drying on his face. “I’m going to get your body back, Al. I’m going all the way.”
“Me, too.”
“But there’s no reason for you to have to --”
“We’ve been over this before. I’m going just as far as you are. All the way, together forever.”
“Right.” Ed’s hand sought out Al’s gauntlet and gripped it firmly. “Together forever.”