Work Text:
"Hey, this is interesting. Apparently your workplace updated their non-discrimination policy to protect sexual orientation five years ago."
David looked up from his laptop and threw his boyfriend some serious side eye. Hartley's face flushed a little, but he determinedly held eye contact. "That was subtle," David said.
Hartley frowned. "I had to give up on subtlety. You've deflected every attempt I've made to bring this up in conversation. I know you've known what I've been trying to talk about. You've been telling me you're in the closet because you'll get fired. That is very clearly not true, so what's up?"
David pinched the bridge of his nose, then clicked his laptop shut and set it aside, resigned to the conversation. Hartley scooched a little closer to him down the couch but remained out of cuddling range. Well, it wasn't the worst opening to a conversation they'd already had about nine hundred times that usually ended in a fight. If he was careful maybe neither of them would wind up on the couch that night.
"I've read the non-discrimination policy quite a few times and it does sound good on paper. I'm just fairly sure it won't be implemented fairly in practice. And it's only the lab's policy, not something required at the state or federal level."
Hartley sighed, then glumly nodded. "So you're pretty sure a homophobic superior could still fire you and just say they were firing you for something else instead."
"And there wouldn't be much to appeal to for help. Plus there's the thing with you being an ex-supervillain, and people in law enforcement supposed to be staying away from ex-cons..."
"Well, yeah. I just...I know you can't tell everyone at work that you're dating me specifically. But it'd be cool if you were out."
David quirked an eyebrow. "Hartley...you're not worried someone else is going to flirt with me, are you?"
Hartley scrunched his face up. It was rather adorable. "Not worried, exactly. I mean, it's not like I'm expecting you to cheat on me or anything. But you're not single. We've been in a committed relationship for over a year. It's...kind of sucky to still be this invisible."
"I agree completely. There just isn't anything I can really do about it."
"I guess."
Hartley seemed to be about to let it drop. If David hadn't been overtired and had been thinking more clearly, he would have picked up on that and that would have been the end of conversation nine hundred and one about the closet, ended without drama for once, with both of them sleeping soundly in their shared bed. Instead, David said what he was thinking.
"You know, the real problem is your criminal record. I'd at least be able to tell a few friends I was dating you if you hadn't spent all those years robbing banks."
Later that night, while David was shifting around on the couch trying to find an angle he could sleep at that wouldn't be agony on either his back or neck, he reflected that he'd deserved that one.
The next night when David got home from work he made a quiet, hesitant entrance into his apartment. It all sounded quiet and normal, but he'd made that mistake before and walked right into a clever sound trap when Hartley had been pissy with him.
"Hartley...love, are you home?" He didn't receive a response. Feeling wary, and more than a little paranoid, David ventured into the apartment. He had flowers under one arm and a box of those really big peanut butter cookies from the bakery Hartley adored. But there was no pouting redhead waiting on the couch to receive his apology gift. There was, however, a grey coffee mug on the table with World's Best Boyfriend printed in bold letters across the front.
David set his own apology gifts on the table and picked up the mug, which was clearly intended to be either passive aggressive or sarcastic. Possibly both.
Well, two could play at that game.
The following afternoon while Hartley was shut up in his office, ostensibly to go over some new sheet music for the orchestra but really just needing a break from a particularly fussy and demanding soloist, he got a text from his boyfriend. He set the sheet music that he hadn't really been paying attention to aside and opened the picture David had sent him. It showed the mug, filled with the horrible crime lab coffee, sitting in a place of prominence on his desk with the text facing out towards his office where everyone could see it.
Hartley texted back a heart and a kissy face emoji, then shoved his phone in his pocket and started back towards the auditorium. He suddenly felt a lot better about dealing with his workplace drama.