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They had long since put their past behind them but at times Haruse wondered why there was cuts upon Kuroyuri’s wrists. They hadn’t been there before, at least as far as he had seen as he usually observed him closely – he would have very well noticed them. It must have been when he was comatose.
Haruse wasn’t clueless to Kuroyuri’s mental state and behavior; after all, Kuroyuri could be quite fragile, dependent and hostile to those that he did not like. He hadn’t asked about it but he figured that the boy had not coped well in his absence.
“Kuroyuri-sama—“ he was going to question it just as Kuroyuri returned with the ingredients for their cake. Kuroyuri still had no sense of taste but working alongside Haruse certainly helped him learn more in other categories of baking, and still, Haruse would eat whatever Kuroyuri made even if it wouldn’t taste good to him.
“Ah? Do we need more cake batter?” Kuroyuri ran back over to the shelf before coming to a halt because of Haruse’s voice. “No, no, this is plenty. I know we’ve since shed our former life of the black hawks, but I do have to ask….”
This earned Haruse a curious look from Kuroyuri. “Oh?”
“I’m just concerned Kuroyuri-sama….” Haruse still referred to Kuroyuri so highly even out of the black hawks, after all, to him, Kuroyuri was his everything, as was he to Kuroyuri. “it’s about the marks on your wrists” and to that Kuroyuri froze as he set the frosting down on the counter in front of them. “It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.”
“It is worrisome to me though, you are my main concern after all, but I know I shouldn’t pry, but, why?” and it is an honest question after all but he just wonders if it has to do with him or… “it’s old, it doesn’t matter…so can we just…drop it, Haruse?”
“I understand Kuroyuri-sama, my intent was not to bring up bad memories, and I apologize, but it just worries me.” Kuroyuri continued to help with the baking as Haruse prodded more towards answers from the latter.
“I said just drop it, it doesn’t matter alright?!”
“I see…” Haruse stirred the mixture before them and added in the last few details before placing it into the oven to bake. “It’s stupid,” Kuroyuri said as he folded his arms.
Haruse now taking the opportunity of Kuroyuri perhaps wanting to discuss the topic reassured him, “nonsense Kuroyuri-sama, I wouldn’t think of it as stupid.”
Kuroyuri huffed and fixated on the now baking cake in the oven as he spoke, “it’s stupid to me, but… you know when you were comatose, when you were gone… I just, I didn’t know what to do alright, I’d never been without you for long, you’re always there for me! I didn’t like it, being alone, I didn’t know how to deal with it and when I’d lash out or be upset, you weren’t there.” He figured that, that might have been the case. “Kuroyuri-sama…” he offered Kuroyuri a hug and the latter accepted and held his dear Haruse close in embrace.
“It’s stupid. I don’t know how to deal with emotions well, so… when you were gone, I contemplated a lot of things, I wanted to die without you there, I contemplated suicide, but then I wouldn’t ever see you again, I just… couldn’t deal with you gone,” Kuroyuri said it all so casually as he refused to look at Haruse, afraid that looking at Haruse’s face may cause him to shed tears. “It hurt, I missed you, I needed you there, so I turned to that.” He referred to the cuts on his wrists that were still healing to this day. “I told you that it’s stupid, and also old, so I didn’t want to talk about it—“ but Haruse reassured him that he appreciated being told this.
“Thank you Kuroyuri-sama, but I promise you now that we won’t be apart like that again” as he held his Begleiter in his embrace and pat his head. “Yeah…” he muttered and looked to Haruse, the tears fading from his eyes as Haruse placed a kiss upon his forehead. “I won’t be going anywhere anytime soon, don’t worry,” Haruse reassured.
After the heartfelt moment the two resumed to their baking and Kuroyuri watched again as the cake continued to bake within the oven. He was happy with their new life, he got to always be with Haruse, and learn baking alongside him and as he watched the cake within the oven he muttered, “I’m glad to have met you Haruse.”