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You were originally hiding in Goro's closet to surprise him. He scared easily, sure, but you'd become good friends, so he didn't mind if it was from you.
"Oh please Goro. You're only hesitating now because you're letting that shitty little heart of yours get to you. Didn't I raise you better than that?"
You didn't expect this.
Nor did you want this.
The only want you felt entitled to at this moment was to go back to when you were polishing the stained glass of a house, as its foundations remained crumbling-- so pretty, you could ignore it all, and forget reality, but we're all under life's roof.
Goro's face couldn't be seen from the closet where you hid, but you knew him well enough to know his face had an expression you'd never know of-- one you didn't want to know of.
The whiplash of reality hit you again-- you had to move your hands to touch where Goro's could not. Four hands get more work done than two, after all. But where, exactly, should you reach? Help hurts more than anything without much of a plan. Think think think think think think thi--
"You didn't raise m--"
"Did I ever tell you that you could backtalk me?!"
The tone of Shido's voice, quiet but threatening, steeled your resolve to act now. You wish you had more time to think, but a badly devised plan is better than one, you muse. To be a friend is to be one who shall, and at the end of it all, Goro could at least appreciate that someone cared enough to try.
Your target was, and you position yourself, right hand behind your back, left hand against the closet.
(But there's no sins from a silent, deep breath for good luck.)
So fluidly, you broke open the door, and screamed your battle cry....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"BIG SEXY!"
The power of every Shounen anime you've watched filled your right hand-- Sonic X and The Wiggles-- as it struck Shido's sexy bald head. It was clockwork, as Shido fell down, unconscious, and your hand receded to your right side.
It took you a moment to actually process what you'd just done. When you finally did, you turned to Goro.
Nothing short of raw terror had filled his gaze towards you. Some anger towards Shido may have been visible it you were the type to fret over details, but it was quickly diluting away, and you both were understanding what had happened. His fear wasn't helped by the fact he'd always be the type to laugh when nervous.
To be fair, you weren't laughing either
(Well, his eyes were begging for an explanation, and he at least deserves that.)
"I uhh... was hiding in your closet to scare you, but..."
Silence to your throats and eyes once more for good measure; words, now simply insipid little things, your bodies were things that'd turn you into stone, dare you look. You mind turned to a memory where you snagged some booze, and both of you drank it, complaining about your problems (until you forgot them, that is) in one breath, laughing in the others.
This wasn't something that could just be solved like that.
"You... plan to rat me out then." Goro finally said, once his words reached him. His voice and eyes (albeit looking anywhere but you) lacked any emotion, but it's an ample substitute for what the normal person would do. Maybe it would've been easier to simply say he doesn't deserve a second chance, forget about all of this in your thirties while he's rotting in the back of your mind.
"No."
He looked at you, like you were about to prove to him that Santa was actually Bigfoot. (Which he is, by the way.)
"FUCK SHIDO MAN." You stated loudly, kicking the man's unconscious body. You knew that Goro wanted nothing more than to murder him. And honestly? You couldn't blame him. He's an overly preachy scumbag, and now your hatred of him was out of the roof.
You darted to Goro's closet, and grabbed the baseball bat that was conveniently in there, and began beating his body with it. Goro could only watched in amazement for a few moments, before he joined this circus of madness, with his very spiky cleats, that he also conveniently had on had on. Any ill informed person would have only stared at you both as if you were insane people, two, sick twisted people who enjoyed this. (Conveniently, nobody saw. I really do enjoy being a convenient person.)
Once Shido's body had vanished, like all of the Enemies in persona, and left no trace per usual, you two laughed, revenge is such wonderful thing. You kept laughing, until reality smacked you both upside your heads.
"We're going to be caught for this aren't we?" You say, thrill of the kill wearing off. Goro sighed, eyes filling with negativity. "We have... one way to avoid being caught." Goro stated, eyes closing, deep in thought. He can't hide the rest of his face, and it's like a bad memory came into his memory. But if it meant they could start over, perhaps he would be alright with sharing.
"You know how Shido was bald, correct? He could escape any crime because of this. Of course, this is why the Gay Agenda is so powerful, they see through the bald." Goro answered, opening his eyes.
Ah, the Gay Agenda. Almost rivaling Goro in popularity, to the point that didn't really matter. Perhaps you were biased, but you believed your friend was more popular. "So we just... go to the barber, correct?" You asked, almost tasting how you'd feel. He nodded.
Sighing, knowing that you and Goro weren't ready to allow the death of his shitty dad to destroy your futures, you pulled out your pocket tuba, along with uncorking the vial of ranch from your necklace. It was lukewarm, as it hung around your neck, like all necklaces.
"Do you have a lighter...?" You asked Goro quietly, as you dumped the ranch into the tuba. In a swift motion, he checked one of his pockets, before pulling one out. It had an anime girl with purple hair and large breasts, laying down. Her spine was broken, so you could get a nice glimpse of her ass as well. She was holding a drink in her hand, and looking at you seductively.
You looked at him dead in the eyes.
"What?"
Why did Goro have such bad taste.
After you finished judging your friend for having shit taste, you snatched it after flinging the ranch vial across the room, flicked it on, and heated up the tuba until steam was coming out of it. Flicking it off, you tossed the lighter into the trash. You'd give Goro some better taste in the future. For now, it was time to bald yourselves-- the truest form of rebirth.
Inhaling the tuba's vapor, you slowly exhaled the shape of a rectangle, as Goro watched, mesmerized. Never did you think you'd have to do this, but it's such a lovely thing to know that the vaping class you took wasn't a waste of money. You'd have to teach Goro how to vape next, you thought.
"Nearest Barber shop." You stated. Not missing a beat, you grabbed Goro's hand, and the rectangle consumed you both. For a second, you both go through a field of the unknown. And for once, everything makes sense. There are no questions in life; because you are the question itself, and this life is the answer.
And Suddenly. It was conveniently night time and you were in the barber shop. Like little mice, you both scurried around to find the deep shaver. Bye bye goes the hair, Hello bald world. You are liberated from the harsh throngs of hair, freshly peeled teenagers, ready to live.
And they never caught goro but because Goro is Popular everyone became bald. Even you. You're bald now I don' make the Rules.
(Goro was Very Sexy with his Bald Head though)