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So I Herd U Liek Mudkipz, Maxie?

Summary:

Team Magma had a problem. It was 1’4”, weighed 16.8 pounds, and was known as the Mud Fish Pokémon.

Notes:

Thanks to peytra for the prompt, which was ‘Where’d all these Mudkips come from?’ Hope I made good!

Pokémon belongs to Nintendo and Game Freak.

Work Text:

Team Magma had a problem. It was 1’4”, weighed 16.8 pounds, and was known as the Mud Fish Pokémon.

Indeed, a school of newborn Mudkips had somehow burrowed their way past the five levels of security protecting the base and made their home within the base. Now, for any normal young Trainer, this was the complete opposite of a problem. Mudkips were well known for being cute little fish-looking guys that evolved into complete powerhouses of destruction. Anybody would be lucky to have one on their team. Hell, even Professor Birch would feel relieved having a few in reserved for any ten year old who slept in and missed their chances at getting Treeko and Torchic.

For the grunts serving this illustrious organization, however? It was hell.

At this very moment, two young grunts sat across from one of these ferocious hellbeasts in terror. The Mudkip stared at them with its beady little eyes and tilted its head, just as confused as they were. Something had to be done.

One of the grunts - a lanky young woman - turned to her partner. “Careful, Barley. It can probably smell your fear.”

“Who, me? I’m not afraid of a baby Pokémon.” Barley - a short young man - tutted and stretched his hand out. “Give me a stick, Thea, I’m going to poke it.”

Thea crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. “...Why?”

“Could be a bomb,” Barley replied thoughtfully, “You never know what those punks at Team Aqua are planning.”

Thea kneaded her forehead. “If you want to blow us all up, then be my guest.” She went to the table and picked up an old fishing rod. Years ago, it could catch any Feebas within a twenty-mile radius like no tomorrow; nowadays, the fishing line had been ripped off, rendering it almost entirely useless. Why Maxie wouldn’t have them dispose of it, Thea would never know.

She studied the fishing rod, with the letter ‘A’ carved into the side and the cracks in the wood, before handing it to Barley. Immediately, he gave the Mudkip a good poke between the eyes.

To their relief, the Mudkip didn’t explode upon contact. Instead, it inched over and poked at the rod with a paw, curiously. “Kip…?”

“Hey, stop that-!” Barley poked the Mudkip a few more times, pushing it away. Thea considered speaking up or confiscating the rod, but honestly? She wanted to see how Barley’s stupidity would blow up in his face this time.

The Mudkip, after being poked in the face one too many times, looked reasonably annoyed. “Mah-!” it shrieked, stomping a foot into the ground.

“Not so tough now, are you?” Barley hopped up onto his feet and began stabbing towards the Mudkip, which managed to dodge quite a few times. “Prepare to taste the fury of a high-ranking grunt of Team Magma!”

He poked in the direction of the Mudkip one last time and was immediately met with a Water Gun to the face.

Thea watched as Barley went sailing across the room before hitting the wall and face-planting onto the ground with a dull plop . She let out a sigh and watched as the Mudkip scurried out of the room before turning to her partner.

“A high-ranking grunt indeed,” she muttered sardonically.


“Agh-!” Magma Admin Tabitha pulled one of the little water-typed pests off of him and attempted to shake five more off of his leg. “This is just getting ridiculous-! How are there so many of them?”

Courtney looked up from the Mudkip in her lap and swiveled her chair around, the tips of her feet gingerly pushing off the floor. “Mmm-?”

Tabitha stormed over, the Mudkips still following him. One managed to climb up his back and into his hood, unnoticed. “Courtney, you can’t possibly be okay with this!”

“Ahh.” Courtney ran a thin finger across the fins on top of the Mudkip’s head. “Unanticipated, yes… but not unwelcome.”

“Oh come on!” Tabitha facepalmed and tried to pull his hood up to drown out the incessant chirping those infernal beasts were making. He screamed in fright as the Mudkip within his hood crawled out and patted at his face. “Get off of me right now-! I’m warning you, you stress-inducing-”

He was interrupted as the Mudkip popped off his head. As if by magic, the Mudkips swarming around his legs scampered off in the same direction; all of them were now crowded together in a circle on the floor, wrestling for something.

It was then that Tabitha felt Courtney’s hands rummaging in his pockets. He looked down and met her eyes. Courtney looked shocked at first; then, she sat back and uncurled her fist. In her palms were the crushed up remains of some PokéBlocks Tabitha was planning to give the Numels.

The tiny smirk on Courtney’s face evolved into a shit-eating grin, and she burst into a maniacal fit of laughter. Tabitha stormed to the other side of the room, picked up a pillow, and screamed into it. “I’ve had it with these Mudkips in our base!” he declared, “I’m going to the boss right now and ending this once and for all!”

Courtney shrugged ambivalently and let out a high-pitched yawn. “And you’re coming with me!” Tabitha continued, dropping the pillow onto a Mudkip and pointing at her.

“...Why?” Courtney slipped off the chair and stood herself up.

“As Team Magma Admins, it’s our sworn duty to follow Leader Maxie’s every whim and see our goals completed!” He led her out of the room and swerved down the hallway, headed for the teleporters to their boss’ office. “Besides, I don’t want to be only one cleaning up after those things!”

Courtney hummed in response. “We’ll see about that…” she murmured cryptically, paying no attention to the tiny bodies rubbing against her feet. They stepped onto the teleporters, and away they went.

Tabitha, Courtney, and a dozen Mudkips teleported into Maxie’s office, somehow not managing to grab his attention. Maxie had the phone propped up against his ear, and he was flipping through a catalog. “Hmm… yes, the Great Maxie would like to order the inflatable cube solar lantern… No, I would not like a complimentary gift box of malasadas, they’re no good for my sensitive palate… What? Express shipping, obviously. No, I am not affiliated with the Aether Found-”

Having no interest in Maxie’s catalogue purchases, Tabitha cleared his throat. “Leader Maxie-!”

“Ugh, I need to put you on hold.” Maxie slammed the phone down on the desk. “What is it, Tabitha? Make it quick, I’m in the middle of a very important phone call.”

“With all due respect, Boss…” Tabitha gestured to the horde of tiny water-type starter Pokémon sniffing around the office and rubbing their little mitts on the expensive wood furniture. “Where’d all these Mudkips come from?”

Maxie grew dangerously quiet. He steepled his fingers together and pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. The only sounds in the room came from the air conditioning unit installed last month and the chattering noises courtesy of the Mudkips.

Then, with a horrifically loud wheezing noise, Maxie began laughing. And laughing. And laughing. And laughing. And laughing.

Tabitha’s eyes widened in horror as a shiny Mudkip poked its head out of Maxie’s lap and climbed up onto the desk. Worst of all, it was wearing a custom made Team Magma uniform, horned hoodie and all.

“Oh don’t give me that look!” Maxie, despite no longer laughing, was still teetering dangerously on the verge of hysterics. “Who do you think allowed all of the Mudkips into the base? Who do you think hatched such an ingenious plot but I, the Great Maxie? Tabitha, Courtney, you are looking at no mere herd of Mudkips --- you are looking at the imminent downfall of Team Aqua!”

“Whaddya mean by that?” Tabitha looked confused. Courtney, in the meantime, sauntered over to the shiny Mudkip and flicked at its hood curiously.

“See, Tabitha, Mudkip eventually evolves into a duel Water-slash-Ground type Pokémon.” Maxie had begun to regain his composure. “It is capable of learning Earthquake, amongst other ground type moves. With it on our side, Team Aqua will no longer have the type advantage over us. We will be victorious!”

“Leader Maxie!” Tabitha gasped. “That’s… that’s brilliant ! Incredibly stupid, yes, but brilliant !”

Maxie smirked and adjusted his glasses again. “I knew you’d come around eventually, Tabitha,” he said, pulling the shiny Mudkip off of the desk and back into his lap. “Archie can’t possibly stand a chance against m- er, us now!”

Courtney gingerly raised a hand, catching Maxie’s attention. “Yes, Courtney?”

“Leader Maxie… even as a Swampert, Mudkip learns more Water-type moves than Ground-type moves.” Courtney coughed quietly. “Its dual-typing puts it at a major disadvantage to Grass types… heh. We need more time to analyze this plan… to see if it will-”

“Of course it’s work, Courtney.” Maxie kneaded his forehead. “What is Team Aqua possibly going to do? Catch a grass type Pokémon?”


“Bwahahaha! There’s no way Team Magma can stop us now!” Archie punched a fist into the air boisterously. “Torterra! Use Surf!

“Archie!” Shelly called out, “That’s physically impossible! Torterra can’t learn-”

As if on cue, an oversized surfboard began moving across the swimming pool they had rented out. Torterra, which was positioned on top, swished its tail through the water, slowly but surely moving itself across the pool. Within a minute, a large wave began to form behind the Torterra, building up until it soared high above everybody’s heads.

As Torterra reached the other side, the wave crashed down on everybody at the side of the pool. Torterra, somehow, had managed to stay on the surfboard unharmed.

“Great job, Torterra!” Archie patted the Continent Pokémon on its snout. “Only 750 more laps before we can give those scurvy dogs what for!”

The grunts who had gathered around began cheering excitedly. One had even ripped his shirt off while screaming exuberantly and thrown himself into the pool. “Yeah! That’s my bro!” Matt picked up Archie and spun him around. “Accomplishing the impossible no matter what! That’s why I love him so much!”

Shelly watched as the rest of the grunts began swarming Archie and Matt, screaming ‘ Good going, Archie! ’ and ‘ We’ll get ‘em this time, boss! ’ Shelly, meanwhile, let out a snort and crossed her arms, studying the scene.

“Well, there goes the neighborhood.”