Chapter Text
Nathan's not quite sure how long he and Duke have been punching each other. He's lost the track of time. He's just so angry and frustrated about being duped by Duke again.
One of Duke's hits really connects, they both can hear a loud 'crack' when something possibly breaks in Nathan's face but it doesn't bother Nathan. He hits him right back but there is something off about Duke's voice suddenly.
"Nate... I think something's wrong."
For the first time since the fight started Nathan takes some stock of his situation. He's still so angry his brain is fuzzy, but he puts his hand on his cheek and... he doesn't feel it. His hand, his cheek. He pulls his hand back. It's red with blood but his hand doesn't feel sticky. He doesn't feel anything.
"No..." he's barely making noise because they rage fuzziness is quickly being drowned out by panic. No no no no, this wasn't supposed to happen again, he was *fixed*, he's *normal*, this can't be happening.
Suddenly he feels like he's forgotten how his body even works, he's just trying to breathe, do something, but nothing is happening, he's just staring at his bloody hand trying to...
And now he suddenly hears Duke. Duke sounds panicked. He's talking to someone but Nathan can only make out sounds. Nathan raises his head from his hand. Duke's on the phone with someone.
When Duke sees Nathan looking at him, he ends the call and walks up to Nathan again. He's far enough away that Nathan knows Duke's not touching him.
"Nate, I called your Dad. He should be here soon. Now just... just breathe. OK?"
Nathan can hear how labored his breathing is. Fuck. He's not sure he wants Garland here, but he can't figure out what to do next. And suddenly he misses his mom, desperately. She always know how to handle him. And now he manages to do *something*, he falls to his knees on the Cape Rouge and starts silently crying, his hands on his hair.
Nathan's not sure how long he's like this. He just realizes after a while that arms are picking him up from the deck. Duke and Garland are holding him up. As soon as Nathan's up, Duke drops his hold on Nathan. Garland's look is probably the reason for that. He looks angry at Duke.
"C'mon, son. Let's go."
Somehow they manage to get off the Rouge and into Garland's car even though Nathan's not sure his legs even work right now.
Nathan stares out the car window. He hasn't said anything for a while. He's not sure where they're going. He can't really think right now, so for the first time in years he's glad he at least has his dad.
"It came back," Nathan manages to whisper. He looks down at himself, and visually guides his arms around himself, hands safe under his arms, in a hug that doesn't do anything. But he likes knowing where his hands are.
"Yeah, it did." There is a gruffness in his Dad's voice Nathan hasn't heard in years. He thinks that might mean he might cry about this too, but that's not his Dad. Maybe he's getting a cold.
They arrive at their destination. His childhood home. He hasn't been there in a long time. The few times the Wuornoses manage to eat together, they do so at restaurants or at the station. Nathan has his own place, which has worked to keep their relationship OKish. Nathan's not sure he's ready to leave the car yet. Neither one of them make a move to leave.
"I think I should go to the hospital," Nathan tells to the window.
"Nah, that Crocker didn't hit you that badly. A little wash and yer fine."
Nathan turns to look at Garland. "I meant because of my condition."
Nathan has done many things over the years that has left Garland looking at him disappointed. It's never been quite like this though.
"Nathan..."
Nathan turns away and stops Garland from speaking before he can continue.
"I'll need to be diagnosed again and some physical therapy. I don't remember how to do this anymore."
"I'll help you. You don't need to go to a doctor. You already know what this is."
Garland sounds slightly angry. Nathan doesn't say anything. It can't be a... it's just a medical condition. He just needs the diagnosis and then he can move on with his life.
"I think you should stay with me for a while."
Nathan's not against the idea. It's embarrassing to move in with your father at 30, but he needs help with the adjustment period. He still has enough leftover stuff at Garland's that he doesn't have to go home yet.
Garland helps him inside where he helps Nathan get cleaned up. Nathan watches himself in the bathroom mirror. He has a black eye and other bruises on his face. His cheek has a little blood, and his lip is split. He feels nothing. He tries to numb himself emotionally, the way his body is now numb again, but he can't, yet. He starts to cry again. His Dad does something he hasn't done in years, and hugs Nathan to him.
The first night is awful. Doing anything feels overwhelming, nothing feels like it's in Nathan's control. In the morning he makes appointments at the doctor for a diagnosis and physical therapy. Garland isn't really happy about that, but he doesn't talk to Nathan again about the real reason for his condition.
***
Nathan readjusts to his idiopathic neuropathy, slowly but surely. He needs to miss work for a while. He needs to work hard on his muscle memory, to make sure he can get his gun quickly without necessarily seeing where it is. He needs to timetable his life meticulously. When to eat, how long to wait for the coffee to be cold enough to drink, when to go to the bathroom, check himself for injuries. He needs to relearn how to drive the Bronco. He was never a particularly animated person, but with his condition back, his movements became more and more controlled. Hands in his pockets or under his armpits. No needless rushing, or touching.
But being a cop is still difficult work, and he ends up injured and in the hospital, a lot. He hates it. Injuries feel like a double betrayal from his body, not feeling them but having to acknowledge them anyway. He ends up getting 8 MRIs during a period of couple of years, and that is just a fraction of all his hospital visits.
As time goes on, things with the Chief get harder. After about a year after Nathan gets sick again, supernatural cases start happening. Nathan doesn't remember much from when he was 7 or 8 and sick, but he remembers the whispers and empty school classes. He tries his best to deal with those cases, trying to rationalize what he can while kinda accepting what he can't. But those cases have nothing to do with him, though. The Chief is extra hard on those cases, and no matter what he does, Nathan can't seem to deal with them right.
---
Nathan runs into Duke sometimes, on cases, around town. They don't talk about the fight. They've rarely been particularly friendly with each other but there is a special acerbic quality to their interactions. In general, Nathan's social life dwindles to almost nothing. Being around people becomes an exercise in disconnect, and some of the other cops kinda shun him, whether it is because of his condition, assumed nepotism for being the Chief's son, Nathan's not sure.
After being numb becomes second nature to him, it becomes easier to interact with people again. He still avoids touch as much as he can, but interacting with the townsfolk like a good local cop/son of Chief becomes easier again.
He takes up a lot handicraft hobbies. He can mostly do them alone, but sometimes he takes a course or two. Decoupage helps keep his dexterity, and he likes the idea of still being able to create something, even through his numbness.
His life settles into a routine. It's not very exciting, but he manages. Just need to wait out until his condition goes away again. Then he can go back to being normal.