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There was so much noise. It was deafening and it was near impossible to hear all the screams. Everything was moving at such a fast pace. BOOM! Went off a nearby fiery explosion. Doc couldn’t see, there so much smoke that he couldn’t anything. Wait, no. He could see something. A friend? No, he was so much more than that. It was Donut. Doc could see Donut. They were running. But where? He didn’t know.
Donut yelled a string of words he couldn’t understand. It was just too damn loud. There was ringing in both of their ears. Doc couldn’t think straight, and pondered about how they were both going to have to get their ears checked after this. No, this wasn’t the time. He needed to get his head in the game. But he wondered what the ‘game’ was in the first place.
War.
That’s what it was. Doc despised war. Especially as a medic, there was just too much violence and outright hate. He didn’t care if he would be made fun of for expressing his opinion on it. The only person who understood his point was Donut. Even if he wasn’t a pacifist himself.
Donut.
The boy of his dreams. A confident guy with incredibly wavy blond hair that was parted to his side and sparkling ocean blue eyes. So fun loving and so optimistic, with of course a handsome smile. His favorite color was pink, or “Lightish red” as he preferred to call it. Doc admired this boy. He didn’t know what he would do without him.
Right, he almost forgot he was in the middle of a war zone. He silently muttered a replacement for a curse word to himself.
It felt like they were running forever. It was an endless cycle of heaving panting, boom, and more shouting. Doc then wondered where the others were. He was so spaced out that he didn’t realize that it was only him and Donut running together.
Then everything went black. There was silence, the silence was loud? Doc couldn’t describe it if he tried. He couldn’t move, he felt paralyzed. As if a weight was holding him done, suffocating him. All he could see was this inky blackness that felt like forever.
He blinked for a few seconds and he was back. He could move again, but he wasn’t running. No, he was standing over Donut. He was laying on the ground just covered head to toe in sweat and blood. Doc’s vision became blurry again and he blinked. The scene was different again.
He was crying. His eyes stung from the smoke enveloping them. Doc was still standing over Donut. But when he looked down his own hands were drenched in his boyfriend’s blood. Donut was slumped over and unresponsive.
Doc couldn’t help but panic.
“No no no no NO!” Doc screeched over and over again.
“I couldn’t save you!” His voice cracked. He tried apologizing but he stumbled over his words as it were an obstacle course.
“NO!”
Doc jolted up from his bed. The clock read 4:19.
His panic from his dreams carried over to the real world and he was having an anxiety attack.
Donut woke up to his boyfriend hyperventilating right next to him.
“Babe! What’s the matter?!” Donut scooted over and tried to console him.
“I couldn…..I couldn’t save you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Doc mumbled.
“It was just a dream.”
“But it was so real! We were...we were in the middle of a war zone and we were running.”
“It’s going to be okay, I’m still here. Everything is going to be okay!” Donut embraced Doc in his arms. He was still sniffling and mumbling incoherent sentences.
Doc wrapped his arms around Donut and didn’t let go for an extended period of time. He didn’t want to let go. He couldn’t. Donut ran his fingers through his hair while whispering comforting words to him. This lasted for almost an hour until Doc finally settled down taking one final sniffle.
“I’m sorry.” Doc couldn’t keep eye contact.
“Don’t be, it’s alright! I’m here whenever you need me!”
“Thank you.”