Work Text:
Day 12~
Shattered~
Cas dipped the cup into the soapy water before running the sponge over it as he cleaned it. In the background, Billie Holiday was crooning, but he was barely listening. His mind was deep in thought, going over the fight he’d had with Dean several days earlier that had them still tiptoeing around one another. They’d never fought before, and it was eating at him that they’d fought at all. He rinsed the cup and set it in the dish rack. Dinner wasn’t the same without Dean here. Most evenings his boyfriend would come over and they would have dinner together while they talked about their day. From there they’d relax and watch television while they finished up work or they cuddled up and enjoyed one another’s company. Some nights they’d end up in bed together making love. Lately, that had become most nights. Until the fight. His heart ached as he thought about that night.
He picked up his dinner plate to start washing it and thought about what had even started the fight. Dean had been in a bad mood when he’d come over that night, but that hadn’t been the cause of it. No, he’d been sweet as always. It had been Luc that had shown up drunk and ruined things. He’d barged his way in, screaming at Cas, berating him like he’d done when they were kids, and when Dean had tried to kick him out…Cas had come to his brother’s defense. Luc was family. Dean had to know that, but he hadn’t understood. He’d gotten angry and after getting into a fist fight with Luc, he’d stormed out. Cas had ended up having to call his brother Gabe who showed up with the police, and Luc was taken away in cuffs. Not before Cas ended up with a black eye and a split lip though. That was humiliating though, going in to work every day since then, to a classroom full of teenagers with the damage his brother had done so visible on his face. He’d lied, to staff and students alike, telling anyone that asked that he’d been mugged. That was the least of his concerns though. Since Tuesday, he hadn’t heard from Dean.
His hands began to tremble as he worried that Dean had dumped him. Should he have called Dean by now? It was Friday. He didn’t even realize he was crying until the plate slipped from his hands and crashed to the floor, shattering into a million pieces.
“Oh God…”
He clutched at his chest as his breathing became shallow.
“Dean, I’m so sorry…”
He turned to go and grab his phone but brought his foot down right on a piece of the plate. It brought him crashing to his knees as he cried out in pain. He curled up in a ball, sobbing, letting the pain and misery that he’d been trying to avoid all week wash over him. Wave after wave of pain coursed through him as he laid there, and he lost track of time. Outside someone rang the bell.
“Help! Please! Help me!”
“Cas?”
Dean! Cas let out a choked sob. Dean was there. He had no idea how long he’d been lying on the floor before the bell had rung, but it was only seconds after he’d called out for help before he felt familiar hands on him, pulling him up and into strong arms.
“Cas, baby, what happened?”
“Dean, I’m so sorry!”
“For what? Shit, Cas, you’re bleeding bad, babe, I gotta get you to a hospital.”
“Dean, I didn’t mean to push you away, I just…I’m sorry! He’s my brother, and I know it’s wrong how he treats me, but you’re my boyfriend, and you were protecting me, something Luc never did, and I should have protected you. I was stupid and I’m so sorry !”
“Cas, babe, I’m not mad. I came to talk, I missed you and I talked to Gabe. He told me that son of a bitch hit you after I left. I wanted to come back. I wanted to kill him, but I get that he’s your brother. I needed to come make sure you were ok. Clearly you weren’t. I’m sorry I didn’t come earlier.” Dean sat him up and grabbed the nearest dishtowel and after making sure there was nothing stuck in the gash in Cas’ foot, he wrapped the towel tight around it.
“Come here, sweetheart.” Dean helped him to his feet and then scooped him up. Cas wasn’t light by any means, but he cradled him to his chest anyway and carried him out to his car. His boyfriend was still crying softly, his breath hitching as he buried his face against Dean’s neck.
“I was an asshole.”
“You were abused. You spent your life being abused by that jerk. I let my temper get in the way. I should have called or texted you. You scared the living shit out of me when I walked in and found you on the floor.” Dean said as he opened the passenger door and set Cas down on the seat.
“I thought I lost you.” Cas grabbed Dean’s face and pulled him forward so he could kiss him. Dean went willingly, happily kissing him back.
“You can’t get rid of me that easily. But I’m not letting your dick brother come between us again.”
“No, he’s not.” Cas grunted as he pulled his injured foot into the car. Dean closed the door and went around to get in behind the wheel.
“So Gabe called me last night. Asked me if I’d talked to you yet. I told him no. He said Luc was locked up, third assault charge. Court is likely going to mandate rehab this time. Before showing up at your house he crashed his car two blocks away, which was why he even came to your place. You were the closest house within walking distance. Funny that in his drunken state he actually remembered where you lived, considering Gabe said he hadn’t come to see you in years. He has been warned by Gabe and by your father not to come near you ever again.”
Cas wiped at his eyes and shook his head miserably. “I never told anyone how awful it was growing up with him. He did horrible things to me out of jealousy because I was the youngest and when I came out as gay at 15, the rest of my family supported me, but Luc, he tormented me even worse. I didn’t tell Gabe or Anna what he was doing. Mike saw him hit me a few times and he stopped him, but even he didn’t see the worst of it. Luc even showed up at my dorm at college, drunk, insulting me, telling my friends I was a fairy and what a worthless piece of shit I was. I cut him out after that, but he just keeps popping up. I know better than to defend him, but he’s my brother, and I feel this stupid sense of loyalty to him. Not after this though. I don’t ever want to see him again. I listened to Gabe and Mike. This time I got a restraining order.”
“Good. Even if he actually sobers up, you deserve better. I understand that you want to be loyal to family. After I left that night, once I cooled down, that’s what I realized. You deserve to be treated so much better than how he has treated you all these years. I only know the little bit you’ve told me, and what I’ve seen the few times he showed up at family events. I just know I hate the guy and I hate how he talks to you and your brothers and sister.”
“I hate it too.” Cas conceded. Dean reached over and took his hand.
“We’re not taking any crap from him again, you hear? We’re standing tough. I’ve got your back, sweetheart.”
“I promise I’ve got yours from now on as well.” Cas was never letting his brother come between them like that again.
When they got back to the house that night, Cas limped into his kitchen and looked down at the mess on his floor. The shattered plate, which for a moment he’d thought reminded him of his heart earlier when it broke, now was just a mess on his floor in need of being cleaned up. He started for the closet but Dean beat him to it.
“No, just sit down, babe, I’ve got this.”
Cas sat at the table and watched as Dean swept up the broken plate and then pulled out the Swiffer to clean the blood up. When he was finished, he pulled a couple of beers out of the fridge and passed one over.
“Why don’t we go relax in the living room?”
Cas nodded as he stood back up and followed after him.
In the living room, they curled up on the couch together.
“You’re not mad at me?” Cas asked, tilting his head back to look Dean in the eye.
“No, sweetheart. I just stupidly should have contacted you the next day. I thought you needed time to cool down, so I was giving you a couple of days to do that. I regret not at least texting you. That’s on me.” Dean kissed his forehead and ran his fingers gently through his dark locks. Cas smiled and settled against him.
“I was actually thinking of bringing up the topic of us moving in together. I feel better when you’re here with me. I’m happiest when you’re here.”
“I’ve been thinking about that too. My lease is up soon, and you have this huge house. I guarantee, Luc isn’t coming in here again and punching you in the face. He’s never laying a hand on you again.” Dean threaded his fingers through Cas’ and laid them over his boyfriend’s chest.
“I don’t ever want to fight with you again.” Cas said. Dean smiled.
“Me either.”