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Most days, Ejirou could handle it. The thought of Bakugou suddenly getting tired of him, breaking up whatever this arrangement is, leaving him. He knew it was best to ignore those thoughts and feelings. No matter how his heart drops or how his insides churn. It hurt but most of the time, he could brush them off.
Even so, there are just those days where he really can't push those negative thoughts away. His insecurities get the best of him and he breaks. He gets completely and utterly broken. No amount of hardening can shield or fix whatever it is he's feeling. He knew getting together with Bakugou wouldn't be the easiest. He knew Bakugou isn't the easiest to be around and that he was a little more harsher than the rest out there. He knew those things but what he didn't know was why. Why Ejirou started developing these feelings, why suddenly one day he decides to confess and Bakugou decides to actually, actually accept. He was sure that he would get rejected and that he would just cry his feelings out, shoving ice cream down his throat with Denki and Sero. He had that vision set in his mind. Though things didn't exactly turn out the way he thought they would. Instead he spent the night with Bakugou and, well, fooled around.
That was what their relationship was like; hanging out and fucking. It wasn't the best but it's not like Ejirou was complaining. It was a miracle its self that Bakugou agreed to those things. He had always thought that the blond wasn't interested in relationships, nevertheless, sex. Bakugou never showed interest in anything other than beating his childhood friend and becoming the number one hero. So, the red head never expected that a relationship could fit in the world the boy had created in his head.
Ejirou got what he could and made the best out of it. Bakugou isn't the type that shows affection, he specifically said that there wouldn't be any hugs, cuddles, hand-holding, public kisses or touching outside of bed. And the red head understood that, had always thought that maybe he would just grow on Bakugou, that maybe he would let him in. He had tried small touches before, like his hand on the blond's knee or simple hair ruffling but what he got in return was a punch in the gut and a bruise. The pain wasn't even close though.
Tonight, he had it bad. Ejirou had been crying for an hour now. He knows his eyes are swollen up and that his friends would ask him if he was alright the next day. He's dealt with it before, just flashed them a sharp smile and said that he was, that he is. Deep down knew he wasn't, he was never alright if it was something related to Bakugou. Most of his friends would tell him to just end things with him, that it wasn't worth it at all. The red head knew that it was true but he doesn't want to break up with him. All relationships are hard and painful is what he would always tell his self. He's in love and it would hurt to cut him off his life. The blond was like a drug and Ejirou had had his first dose and was already addicted.
Sometimes though, Bakugou would make an effort. He'd text him and say he'll come over; we'll hang out. around ten, shitty hair. He waits and waits but the blond never comes. It was always hard, he's used to feeling his tears sting his eyes, threatening to come out as the clock hits midnight. He's made an attempt to call once but before Ejirou could hit the answer button, Bakugou ended it. Those little things gave him a tiny ray of hope. He knew that the blonde cared, in some ridiculous way, he does. He just didn't know how to show it.
It was way past midnight and Ejirou was so tired of crying. His eyes are puffed up and his lips are drawing blood from the amount of times his sharp teeth touched its delicate skin. Ejirou was exhausted. He just wanted to sleep, to move on to the next day, but he couldn't. He loves Bakugou with all his heart but loving him hurts badly. He felt like he was being played and that his partner is tired of him. He feels bad for thinking of those things, Ejirou had always blocked those thoughts away so he really didn't know what was with this night that opened all these bottled feelings up.
The red head turned, facing the right side of his bed clutching on hard to his pillow. He lets out a shaky breath and closes his eyes. No tears spill out this time, he guesses he's run out of them. Ashido, a close friend, had taught him this trick before, if he ever felt like the world was breaking he just had to take deep breaths, calm down and count to ten. As the numbers go up, the bad thoughts go down and he'd be calm. It was what he had always done whenever nights like these come up.
"One," He starts out, voice barely even there. He never calls. "Two," He's playing with you. Ejirou's heart has slowed down, his breaths less shaky as the numbers rise. He shuffles once more, his back on the bed. "Six, Seven," He doesn't need me, he doesn't care. He bites his lip, one last time. He starts opening his eyes and he's faced with pitch black darkness. His heart starts racing. "Eight," He'll make you cry even more. As if on cue, he feels his eyes stinging once more as tears well up. "Nine," He lets me down. He starts thinking of the times Bakugou hadn't kept his promises. It was a lot and it definitely didnt help with Ejirou's situation right now. The tears start flowing down, feeling the burning sensation that the droplets leave. "Ten."
I'm hopelessly, hopelessly in love but he's going to break my heart.