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27/5
Arrived on Coruscant today. Streets are aflame. Rumours have spread in the Emperor’s absence that he has abandoned his government. Senate is in tatters. Bail means to present a motion to elect an emergency chancellor should the Emperor not reappear. He was nominated once, he hopes to go further now.
Anakin has been burning red all day. He’s not speaking much. Least of all to Obi-Wan. I worry about him. But he’s kind to the children, at least. They don’t seem scared of him. Not sure why. Even if he was there while they were born — I still don’t remember enough of that hour to say — it seems they should notice that his flesh doesn’t feel like mine — or anyone else’s. Master Yoda has asked me to ‘keep an eye on him’. I wonder what he thinks I meant to do.
Apartment is clean and untouched, fortunately. Jedi Temple seems less pleasant. Structure is intact, but Obi-Wan and Master Yoda have been subdued since returning. May be the remnants of Anakin’s massacre — unlikely that there was anyone left to clean up the mess.
Haven’t left apartment since arriving. Spirit is drained. Unconsciousness is a poor substitute for sleep.
The Living Force carries with it everything that a living being might think or feel. Compassion, solidarity, the desire to protect one' s kin — these are all products of the Force that I do not think it is wise to deny.
Not every instinct of living beings is noble, of course. This we already know well — even in the safety of the Temple we hear of murder and wretchedness in the darker corners of Coruscant. How are we to know which of our living instincts are to be lauded, and which are too closely tied to the Dark Side for safety?
29/5
Received transmission from Naboo this morning. Queen enquiring after my health; apparently disturbing rumours have spread there too. Starting to wonder if political situation is salvageable. Obi-Wan thinks not, but his mood has not recovered from the Temple. Have to wonder if it ever will. He’s still afraid to be in the same room as Anakin. Determined to talk to me about my health and the children, though. Would prefer to discuss his method of travelling to Mustafar with him. But he evades the questions. I’ve not regained the energy to press him.
Senate refuses to come to session. Palpatine’s bureaucrats deny Bail a hearing.
Anakin has been absent much of the day. He came home in much the same colour as the sky outside — dull grey with rain clouds, today. Peculiar, given the flame-like character of his form. Somewhat puzzled by the nature of what he has become. Obi-Wan and Master Yoda’s comments suggest a construction of the Force, but in that case my awareness of it seems strange. Children remain oblivious. Perhaps to be expected given that they’re newborns. Yet to decide on names. Anakin has expressed no preference.
Still exhausted, but should send message to Naboo before going to bed. If nothing else, must reassure Queen that our people have someone in their corner in the Senate. Fortunate that children are healthy and, for the time being, sleeping easily at night. Circumstances likely to make balancing their care with politics rather difficult before long.
I was first introduced to the Sith as a group who used the Force for necrotic ends — they were enemies of life.
In this form, they were held up as the worst the Dark Side had to offer.
Though they touched the Living Force, they held no respect for its living aspect. Life was a thing to be twisted and tormented as they saw fit. A chilling philosophy for a cold, cruel gathering of minds.
30/5
Anakin woke up in the middle of the night. Woke up in response to his absence and attempted to talk to him, but he was unresponsive. Didn’t even indicate that he’d heard. Not sure if another nightmare. Not sure who else he could fear to lose, given that he never knew who his father was. He stayed a deep blue until morning and has been glowing green since then. Showed no sign of remembering his dream — or that he’d woken up — during the day. Seems strange, but I don’t know what questions to ask. His existence raises enough of them, at this stage.
Anxiety setting in regarding whether staying so close to him is safe. I don’t want to leave. Don’t want him to leave.
Obi-Wan and Master Yoda have found lodging. Neither thinks it will be possible to restore the Order, at least not in short term. Wonder what could fill their place in the galaxy — their skills made them unique, but that clearly wasn’t enough. Bail is speaking to Underworld police and the others who signed our petition. Have sent message to Mon; yet to receive a response. Bureaucrats have stated that they will await the return of the Emperor to their deaths if need be. Alarmed that the Republic could ever have reached this stage. Shouldn’t be surprised; no different when I was Queen. Thought Palpatine meant to work with me to change matters in the Senate then. Sad to think our planet could produce such a monster of a man.
Houseplants are oddly healthy after my absence. Children remain healthy; noise is tiring but understandable. Obi-Wan seems alarmed by children, Master Yoda just shakes his head. Can only assume their closeness to Anakin makes them seem threatening. Bears remembering that our marriage was forbidden.
What the Sith always sought was death and destruction. In their parlance, such things became power.
It is a burden to be able to kill a life form, to have such perfect control over their fate — in this context, I can see why we are taught to shy from power.
33/5
Protest passed by apartment today. Seems Emperor’s disappearance has stalled a crucial decision regarding imports from beyond Hutt space. Strange that situation would have escalated so far in so little time — suggests underlying tensions that I was ignorant of. Perhaps willfully so. Not sure of particulars, but delay is clearly causing distress. Will discuss with Bail and others once opportunity arises. Mon is preoccupied in her home sector but promised to return as soon as possible. My message seemed to alarm her. The thought does my nerves no favours.
Anakin has been distracted. His mind seems to phase out of conversations halfway through sentences. Colours didn’t settle, but I recall more orange and red than cooler colours. Left to visit Jedi Temple in the early afternoon, has yet to return. Children have whined at his absence. Thinking Luke and Leia for their names, but want to check with Anakin. Have to assume they’ll be Force-sensitive. Makes the loss of the Order more personal. Though not much more devastating, I’ve found.
Was recovered enough today to leave apartment for a few hours. Waited until protest had passed by for safety’s sake — imagine I would have been scolded by Bail (and Obi-Wan) had I not exercised caution. City is little changed, but people are. Noticeably nervous. Official statements conflict with rumour regarding Emperor’s disappearance. Wondering if Anakin intends to go public with what he knows. Obi-Wan remains reluctant to speak to him, let alone push for answers. Haven’t seen Master Yoda since he said clones needed to be brought back under control. Unsure what he meant. Clones are full-fledged life forms, and not as easily controlled as droids. Seems strange that they would be out of control given their receptivity to any and all orders given. Though their turning on the Jedi does suggest a potentially dangerous willingness to obey.
The clones’ entire situation makes me uneasy, but Kamino may not fall under Republic jurisdiction, so few legal avenues through which to pursue an investigation into their methods. It’d be a low priority right now in any case.
This is how I discern truth: only the Dark Side of the Living Force will ever demand death. If it favours life, it is honourable.
34/5
Anakin agreed to names. Mostly yellow today. Smiled more than he has since before Council conflict.
Have to admit the fact is disconcerting. Would have expected his visit to the Temple to bring his spirit down. Don’t think I know enough about the Jedi’s internal matters for any speculations on my part to be useful, and I knew he’d grown frustrated with the Order’s leadership some time ago, but seems that what remains of the Temple can’t be anything pleasant given its effect on Obi-Wan and Master Yoda. Yoda’s absence continues, though Obi-Wan doesn’t seem concerned. As with Mustafar and Anakin’s present state, though, he continues to duck questions. He seems almost as tired as I feel.
Mass protests in the street have forced bureaucrats’ hands. Senate will be in session in two days. Bail has not denied involvement but refuses to specify details. Underworld denizens in particular have rallied nobly. Special committee to solve import issue today. Bail extended an invitation — curious as to what authority he’s already managed to gain in a Senate now controlled in law as well as practice by bureaucrats. Bowed out to allow myself more time to recover. Exertion yesterday left me more tired than anticipated, and children woke up several times during the night. May need to hire assistance. Unsure how to explain household situation. Had visitors from Senate after lunch; all eyed Anakin with various degrees of alarm. His presence may have kept situation more civil than it otherwise would have been — none of the visitors were allies. Little information or advantage gained from conversations, though.
Didn’t want to ruin Anakin’s rare good mood, and his anger has proved dangerous of late, but harsh conversations may be necessary, and delaying them serves no further purpose. Obi-Wan has found reports on how each Jedi who fell in the purge died. Too many to comb through and confirm all the dead, but he’s read enough already to make him wilt. For me, Senate issues may take priority until system is stable, sadly. Current crisis state is unsustainable and may do lasting damage. Bail’s efforts are incredible, but rest of Senate likely to prove less tractable.
Official statements continue to say ‘Empire’ despite the fact that what remains of the government is all a product of the Republic. As of yet I’ve heard of no rumour suggesting that the Emperor is dead.