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The next few weeks after Vecna’s defeat was, in Kashaw’s mind, unbelievably boring. So much rebuilding, so much paperwork, and clearing out undead skeletons? Yeah, not nearly as exciting as fighting a god, not even close. At least Zahra was in good health by his side, that much he was grateful for. He wasn’t sure how he would have reacted if she had been badly hurt, or worse. And her little quips made even the most dull interactions a little brighter.
If he was quite honest, he didn’t really expect any of Vox Machina to stay and help out after the big battle (besides Pike, maybe Grog because, you know, association). Vex and Percy had to get back to Whitestone, obviously. Last he heard Scanlan was going to Emon for school or something. But Keyleth, surprisingly and irritatingly, was hanging around Vasselheim and lending a hand. Because of course she was.
“Kash, be nice.” Zahra had warned him.
“Why? She wasn’t so nice to me before.” He grunted.
Zahra sighed and shook her head. “That is in the past, darling. Besides, you’re happy now, right?” She pouted slightly, and gave her tail a wiggle.
Kashaw sighed as well. “Of course I am.”
“But you still feel hurt.” A statement, not a question.
“...Maybe a little.” Kashaw grumbled.
“Well now is a perfect time to let things go, love.” Zahra strode over and gripped his shoulders. “She did go out of her way to save our lives, after all.”
Kashaw nodded. He had almost forgotten. Of course, Keyleth was big, blue, and flying, kinda hard to recognize her when she had such a bright autumn color palette normally. “Fine. I’ll be... courteous.”
“That’s my darling!” She gave him a peck on the forehead. “So, shall we head over to the temple of Sarenrae?”
“Yeah, guess we don’t have a choice.” He kissed her cheek, and went on towards the temple. They had agreed a few days ago to come by and help Pike with reconstruction. In her words, it would be good for him to “be in the presence of a nice and super cool goddess.” How she got to be a cleric with words like “nice” and “super cool” is beyond him, but whatever. It’s not like he was doing any preaching.
Once they stepped onto the courtyard, however, he was not greeted by a small gnome with a chipper voice. Instead, he found himself face to face with Keyleth. Who, he noted, was not nearly as sunshine-and-rainbows as usual.
“Oh, um, hey Kash, hey Zahra. Are you here to help out?” Keyelth inquired.
Be nice, Zahra’s words echoed in Kashaw’s head. “Yeah, we told Pike we’d come around. She here?”
“She’s gone out for more supplies. But, um, I do need help carrying some stuff. Would you...” She shuffled her feet. “I mean, if it wouldn’t be too weird-”
“Yeah, I can lift things.” Kashaw interrupted, his voice beginning to show irritation. He walked right past her, and picked up a probably too big pile of lumber. “Where to?”
Keyleth stuttered. “U-Um, over here.” She picked up a couple planks herself, and let him into the main chamber where several volunteers were building wooden frames. Zahra gave Kashaw a frown, to which he shrugged, and they followed after her.
The entire time they worked, going back and forth between the courtyard and the main chamber, things were completely silent. This was certainly abnormal, usually Keyleth would have worn his very thin patience down about 3 times by now. Something was bugging her, but Kashaw couldn’t put his finger on what. And the fact that he couldn’t figure out what the fuck was up was irritating him even more than her babbling would. He was searching for something, anything to break this unbearable and awkward silence, when suddenly he realized that he had no idea where Keyleth’s other half had gone off to.
“So uh, where’s Vax?”
Keyleth froze in place, gripping the wooden planks in her arms tightly. Confused, Kashaw kept walking until he was side by side with her, looking over at her with a raised eyebrow. Zahra could sense that something was wrong as well, and she strode up to Keyleth’s other side, her expression one of worry.
“What, you lose track of him? Guess that kinda happens with the rogue types-” He said, about to throw in a casual insult about the way Vax always seems to dip out on uncomfortable situations, when he noticed Keyleth’s lower lip begin to quiver, and her eyes swell up with tears.
“Keyleth?” Zahra inquired.
“Whoa, what-” He began to speak, but was cut off by the sound of planks hitting the floor as Keyleth’s hands flew to her face, covering her eyes.
“I-I’m sorry... I don’t... I can’t believe we didn’t tell you. I-It was just so much happening, and there was no time, and we didn’t even know how much time, and-”
“Slow down, Keyleth.” Zahra spoke softly, her hands gently resting on Keyleth’s shoulders. “What happened, dear?”
Keyleth removed her hands from her face, looking at Kashaw and Zahra with a flushed and tearstained face. “When we first fought Vecna, Vax died. His body was ash, a-and we couldn’t get him back. B-But the Raven Queen sent him back, s-so that he could help defeat Vecna, but then we won, and... and...”
Keyleth collapsed on the ground, and Zahra went with her, never taking her hands off the elf’s shoulders. Instinctively, Keyleth curled into Zahra’s neck and began to choke out words between sobs.
“She took him away from us forever. A-And even though we won, it feels so much more like w-we lost... I’m so lost...” Her croaks of sadness turning to whispers, as she could no longer bear to speak; her tears now covering Zahra’s shoulder as the tiefling held her close.
Kashaw stood there, unmoving, completely aghast. Vax was... dead? He thought for sure that they all made it out, that they had all won. Vox fucking Machina, unkillable bastards and heroes of Exandria. He remember’s Vax’s smile after the battle, the small, pained laugh he gave when Kashaw joked abut naming their child after-
Oh.
Kashaw looked down, watching Keyleth cry her heart out onto Zahra, who seemed to be thinking about the exact same thing he was, judging by the sudden look of realization on her face as she looked up at him. Kashaw nodded his head, for once his expression softening as he looked back at the poor, sobbing woman in Zahra’s arms.
“Keyleth... I’m sorry...”
Keyleth sniffed. “But you hated Vax...”
“No! Well, I mean, he was annoying as hell...” Kashaw saw the look of warning on Zahra’s face, and reconsidered his approach. “I mean, we weren’t close, but you guys were.”
Keyleth sniffled again, attempting to wipe the snot and tears away from her face as Kashaw kneeled down beside them.
“I mean, if I had lost Z... I’d probably be a bigger mess than you are.”
Keyleth scoffed, which Kashaw may have found slightly funny in a different circumstance. “No... I’m a disaster...”
“Would a disaster be helping in the relief effort of a city she doesn’t call home mere days after she loses the love of her life?”
Keyleth blinked in surprise, and to be honest, Kashaw was a bit surprised himself. She tugged on the hem of her cloak as she spoke, “Maybe not...”
“Well...” Kashaw continued, “I know that if I had lost Z, there wouldn’t be enough money in the world, no deed good enough, no promise of anything so fucking awesome that would have gotten me out of bed.. For at least a year. But you’re already what, rebuilding a temple? And after this you’re gonna go and be the leader of the Asha-whatever? That is fuckin’ powerful.”
Keyleth looked up at him directly now, snot still running out of her nose. “Is it?”
“Yes, dear.” Zahra assured her, and she pulled Keyleth in for another hug. “But please remember that it’s also a good idea to give yourself time to mourn, okay? No more throwing yourself into your work before you give yourself a little time to heal, okay?”
Keyleth paused a moment, and eventually nods and let out a soft, “Okay...”
Zahra smiled sadly, and gently pressed her palm against Keyleth’s cheek. “My dear, there aren’t enough words to describe how incredible Vax’ildan is, and how saddened we are that he is gone... But know that you can always, and I mean ALWAYS, reach out to us if you need to.”
“Well, I mean, if you’re gonna visit, send a message or something so we can uhh be prepared. Set out some leaves to eat and whatnot.” Kashaw quipped.
A small smile formed on Keyelth’s face. “Ass.”
“Hey, everybody’s got one.” He clapped his hand on her shoulder, and helped the two women back onto their feet. “For now, we gotta kick ours back into gear. This temple ain’t gonna fix itself.”
“Right... Oh! Pike should be back by now! I’ll go find her!” Keyleth turned around a couple times, trying to retrace her steps, and zipped off to find the little gnome cleric; but not before giving a meek wave to Kash and Zahra, mouthing the words “thank you”
Kashaw sighed, and looked over at Zahra. “See? I can be nice.”
Zahra chuckled. “Yes. That was very sweet of you, dear. Thank you for being gentle with her, I think she needs the encouragement.”
“What can I say, I’m a beacon of friendship.” Kashaw smiled, and put his arm around Zahra’s waist.
After a moment of silence, Zahra hummed, causing Kashaw to look at her with a quizzical expression.
“You know what dear?”
Kashaw furrowed his brow. “Uhh, what?”
“I think I the name Vax’ildan is the perfect name for a half tiefling child.”
Fuck.