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He doesn't want to. He's never wanted to but he'll always do it for Ten. It makes him feel good— but that's not the issue. It's the small bottle, much like a nasal spray except it's filled with PT-141. A drug that Ten could go on and on about but Johnny would rather not. It does wonder full things to your body, like ecstasy but tenfold times better. It makes you drop-your-pants-right-now horny. And that wouldn't be a problem for Johnny, it's that Ten overdoes it. He often finds him minutes before they have sex in their bathroom snorting something. Johnny's never asked because he's too scared of the answer. He's too scared that he'll lose Ten to whatever he's doing in the bathroom before; one day maybe he'll confront him. Though the joy that's plastered to Ten face for a good six to nine hour is worth it. It's all worth it in the end because he feels good too. He feels extremely good and when ten comes sauntering from the bathroom with the bottle in his hand, his excitement leaving his body at the sight, he hates that stupid drug and doesn't want to use it. Ten knows he doesn't, know he doesn't want it, but Ten wants this for them. He means well, wanting to see him crinkle his nose as it sprayed high up into his nasal canal; wants to see the instant reaction it has on Johnny's body. It takes less than a minute to register in your brain, and since Ten has more than likely taken it himself, he's extremely flustered. He'll take another sniff himself because the drug does wonders.
On top of being hard and sensitive they're now both feeling the energy that radiates between their bodies. The energy is an instant affect, the hard-on comes with time and stays with time regardless of how many times they've gone at each other. What comes after only helps accentuate the other features of the drug. Feeling Ten's hands on his body disgusts him but only for a second because before they've even touched each other the drug is contorting their sex-organs. Then come the kisses and feelings, electricity passes from one mouth to another as they kiss, foggy minded, only thinking about sex and primal things; like the way Johnny makes Ten moan by pushing him away but can't control himself when he comes back pleading.
He pushes him to his knees, even though he begs to be fucked. Ten begs and pleads and whines to be fucked because he's now excruciatingly hard, but for some reason that Ten can't comprehend Johnny makes him wait. Even though his mind is foggy and Ten looks extremely delectable, he makes him wait. And he'll make him wait until his own mind clears. Then and only then will he assisted Ten in getting off, but he never touches. Of course he'll kiss Ten, how could he not when his lips are cover in a beautiful spit-sheen. They look bigger and are bruised and way too tempting to ignore. So Johnny kisses him again and its just as passionate as the first one they ever shared; maybe even more so.
Ten pulls away expecting something from Johnny, excepting to be thrown onto the bed and fucked into the mattress for hours, but he's not. Johnny would never do that to Ten. Although their relationship is strong and they trust each other with their body and soul, Ten would trust Johnny to do brain surgery on him, Johnny doesn't want Ten to regret anything. Or worse, the possibility of him raping the Thai boy because he's so far gone, high and unresponsive, he can't get anything other than incoherent mumbles out. Johnny won't fuck him like that or under any substance because he knows good sex, and good sex is sex you can remember. Johnny won't even touch him. Ten is high and not in the right state of mind and Johnny is already think about how this could be considered rape. How his hand had touched the younger earlier in and inappropriate way, how he shouldn't be kissing him at all. And the drug makes Johnny want to do bad things, but he ignores his own needs and wants to ensure that Ten stays safe. Although, it doesn't stop him from thinking about what he could make Ten do, especially when Tens head nuzzles into his thigh and he looks up at Johnny with innocences in his eyes as though he doesn't have any clue what Ten wants to be doing. And, he desperately wants it himself, to wrap his hands in Tens hair and guide himself into the younger boy's throat until tears appear and Ten has to use force to stop Johnny from suffocating him. However Johnny has used the drug several times now and is used to it effects. So he doesn't let it have power over him like Ten does. Ten gives it so much power, he gives drugs too much power. Raving about them, saying 'they make him happy beyond human capacity'. And Johnny, who's anti-drugs, wishes that he could make Ten feel as good as the drugs do; especially when Ten rages to Yuta and Doyoung about how they make him feel. He wishes he'd say something different, be the non-bashful boy he is, be sober enough to have sex again and say something along the lines of how Johnny fucks him into the oases that is pleasure and cuddles him back out of it. But he can't because he won't give drugs up and because Johnny never touches him after that initial grab. He never tries to take Tens shirt off, he never pushes him back to his knees when he gets up. He doesn't do anything when Ten's under the influence, Johnny isn't willing to take that away from Ten, even with as much as he wants it. Johnny loves Ten too much and would hate himself if something were to happen.
Johnny knows what's coming, it comes every time he doesn't touch Ten. Ten touches him. For hours upon hours, going on and on making him feel things that he could never imagine. Making him swear and cuss like an angered sailor. Crying when it gets too intense and calming back down when Ten lightly touches his burning cheek and kisses his temple. Ten may be higher than a kite but he's still affectionate enough to keep Johnny calm. Though he pushes the line further and further every time leading Johnny to sob, leading to the loneliness that comes after Ten's given up on Johnny and finishes himself off, falling asleep afterwards without giving Johnny any aftercare or untying him. When Johnny wakes up with his arms tied behind his back he thinks they'd just had the best sex of his life in order to justify Ten's actions. He knows later that day when he doesn't walk like a penguin and he has time to try and remember it won't be as justifiable. He never says anything to Ten because he's afraid he'll lose Ten. If Johnny was to tell Ten he doesn't enjoy what they do or maybe that Johnny isn't affected by the drug the same way Ten is because he doesn't enjoy a second of it. He fears that Ten is unhappy so Johnny smiles when Tens wakes from his slumber. Johnny always looks fluster and Ten is confused as to why he would be if they didn't have sex. If he could remember the hours of pinning Johnny to the bed and grinding on him or kissing every inch of his body or forcing Johnny into something that made him uncomfortable out of fear of losing the other, he'd know why he looked so worn; so tired.
Sometimes Johnny would cry when Ten would talk about not remembering anything that happened but knowing he felt good. He'd cry when Ten would say he was still coming down from his high. It'd all just remind him of how bad Tens addiction was, but Ten was happy. Happier than when Johnny first kissed him. Happier than when Johnny confessed his love for the Thai boy, using his real name and stumbling over it a thousand times. He was happier than the first time they had sex. Happier than when they moved in together. Happier than when Johnny got down on one knee and proposed, once again using his real name. Stating how he'd love him since he met him. Saying how nothing in the entire world made him feel as good as he did. Telling everyone who stared in awe that he was madly in love and didn't care what other thought.
Johnny cried every time Ten talked so highly of drugs because he knew if it were him or drugs, Ten would choose to be happy.
