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There’s absolutely no reason to panic. No reason at all. None whatsoever. And he’s not going to panic. Also, he’s not going to stop breathing. He’s not going to -
“Remus?” Lily’s voice comes through the phone.
“Thank god,” he says and takes a sharp breath, “oh, fucking hell. Lily, I think I’m panicking a little.”
“I can hear that. Where’re you?”
“Nowhere,” he says and looks around. “Just don’t be mad when I tell you.”
“Remus,” Lily says quite slowly through the phone, “please don’t tell me that you’re in his flat.”
“I’m in his flat.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah,” he says, “but he left the front door open.”
“Remus,” Lily says, and then takes a very audible breath, “you aren’t supposed to go to a stranger’s flat even if they leave their front door open.”
“But I didn’t break into this place. That’s something at least.”
“Get the hell out of there, Remus.”
“But he’s not here.”
“Okay,” Lily says, “then why’re you still there?”
“Lily,” Remus says and sits on a sofa that feels very comfortable. The dog is watching him and it’s kind of helping. "I think I saw him go inside but he’s not here.”
“So, get out of there.”
“I don’t understand it. He came here and closed the door. But he didn’t lock it. Because I’m not breaking and entering. And he’s not here.”
“Remus,” Lily says, “what the hell are you doing?”
“I’m sitting on the sofa. He just came here and never went out and there’s no one here but a black dog.”
“Remus Lupin, back away from there. Now.”
“He’s friendly,” Remus says. The dog is waiving his tail and watching him quite intently. “And I’m going to leave. In any minute. But don’t you think it’s weird that he’s not here?”
“I think it’s weird that you’re there. Remus, I know you’re lonely but you could just come over. We could have tea and talk.”
“I’m not lonely,” he says. The dog tilts his head. “Well, of course I’m lonely. But this isn’t about it.”
“I’ve known you since we were eleven.”
“Okay, perhaps this is about me being lonely. But he also bought a lot of flowers.”
“Remus,” Lily says. She sounds a bit tired. “You own a flower shop. People come to you to buy flowers.”
“Yeah. But he comes every day. I don’t get it.”
“You could have, like, asked him. Instead of breaking into his flat.”
“He didn’t lock the door,” Remus says, “but you might be right. I shouldn’t have come here.”
“Great,” Lily says, “now get out.”
“But he left the dog here.”
“Remus.”
“I know I don’t know anything about dogs,” Remus says, “but aren’t you supposed to, like, keep them company? Because this one looks lonely. It’s been following me and staring at me since I came in.”
“Well, you’re in his flat. Remus, I’m really concerned. Don’t make me come pick you up.”
“Of course not,” he says, “but you know, every day he comes in and asks if I have flowers. And I say yes, I own a flower shop. I have flowers. And he says, oh, what kind of flowers. I show him around. He keeps smiling and talking and smiling and all that. And then when other customers come in, he picks something up and sometimes I think he’s choosing them randomly, almost as if he just picks whatever happens to be in front of his face. And all those flowers he bought are here, Lily. Here in his flat, and they’re here in random places, like, there is a bunch of roses in a shoe in the corridor, can you imagine? In a shoe?”
“Remus,” Lily says, “now, listen to me carefully. You’ve followed a customer home and now you’re sitting on their sofa with their dog. Please, get out. We can talk about his odd habit of buying flowers later.”
“He even told me his name. Customers never tell me their names. They just buy flowers and go away.”
“Remus –“
“His name is Sirius.”
“I know. You’ve been talking about him for weeks.”
“I haven’t been talking about him,” Remus says, and the dog on the sofa next to him stops waving his tail for a second, “have I?”
“Okay,” Lily says and takes a very deep sigh, “I’m now going to completely ignore the fact that you’re in someone’s home without their consent. Remus, do you like this guy?”
“Of course not. Of course I don’t like him.”
The dog barks. Lily sighs again.
“Okay, maybe I like him,” Remus says, “but I don’t have a crush on him.”
“You’re sitting on his sofa, petting his dog.”
“I’m not petting his dog,” Remus says and glances at the dog who’s still watching him right back. “Do you think I should?”
“Absolutely not. I was trying to make you realise that you should leave.”
“Lily, the dog just got up.”
“Remus, stand up and slowly back away –“
“It placed its head on my thigh. But it’s not doing anything else. And it’s still waving its tail. They don’t wave their tails if they’re going to bite you, do they?”
“I don’t know. So, you have a crush on this guy and –“
“I don’t have a crush on him,” Remus says. It’s almost like the dog is trying to climb into his lap. “Okay, of course I have a crush on him. But it’s just that he looks really nice. And he smiles a lot. He always smiles when he buys flowers. It’s almost odd because people generally don’t smile that much when they’re buying flowers, you know, because choosing is pretty difficult and all that.”
“Okay,” Lily says. “You should ask him out. But first you’ll have to get out of his flat. Because if he finds you there, that’s not going to be a good start.”
“But I don’t think he’s gay. He’s probably not gay.”
“And why not?”
“Because I have a crush on him,” Remus says and then swallows, “fucking hell. I really have a crush on him.”
“Yeah,” Lily says slowly.
“And I’m sitting on his sofa.”
“Yeah.”
“With his dog.”
“Yeah.”
“The dog seems happy, though.”
“Remus,” Lily says. She sounds tired but also surprisingly kind. “I know you’ve had back luck with, you know, love. And I also know that you had a crush on James when I first started dating him. And I know you went out with Tonks only because you wanted to make yourself believe that you didn’t have a crush on my new boyfriend and that you actually like women, and also because Tonks is clever and funny and smart as hell. And don’t get me wrong, she is seventeen and you’re twenty-six and you should have just told her that you’re gay in the first place. But I get it. And I really, really think that this beautiful man who comes to your shop to buy flowers every single day might like you. You should ask him out. But get the fuck out of his flat first.”
“Lily,” Remus says, “I think the dog is trying to lick my hand.”
“Remus –“
“I know, I know,” he says and rubs the dog behind ear. It looks happy. “I had a crush on James. And I shouldn’t have dated Tonks because I kind of knew that I was gay, but she was just so clever and funny and smart as hell. But you haven’t seen this guy. He’s, like, way out of my league.”
“Remus, you’re odd and your face looks sad even if you’re thinking happy thoughts and you have too many plants in your flat and sometimes when you speak I have this feeling that you got that sentence from a book or possibly a Disney movie. But you’re my best friend. This guy would be so lucky if he got to go out with you.”
“Thank you,” he says. The dog is watching him with dark eyes that seem oddly familiar. “That was so nice of you.”
“But, you know, you also broke into his flat.”
“Okay,” he says, “okay. I get it. I’ll just go.”
“What?”
“I’m leaving right now,” he says and stands up. The dog jumps onto the floor and barks, and he kneels down to pet it once more. “I’m actually walking to the door right now.”
“No, you aren’t.”
“Okay, I’m petting the dog. It looks like it doesn’t want me to go. Lily, I think this dog is lonely.”
“It’s not your dog, Remus. I’ll get you one, just walk to that door and –“
“I’m doing it now,” he says and shrugs at the dog who’s watching him and certainly frowning. For a moment he thinks that the dog shrugs back at him. “I’m walking to the door.”
“Walk faster.”
“I really like his place, though,” he says, “even with the flowers in the shoe. And the dog is really nice. He must be a nice person.”
“Maybe you’ll find out. Are you at the door now?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay. Are you in the corridor?”
“Yeah.”
“Is the dog following you?”
“Kind of,” he says. “It’s watching me. But I don’t think it’s going to follow me home.”
“Thank god it has more sense than you have,” Lily says. “Now close the door.”
“I think I really have a crush on this guy.”
“Of course you do. Close the fucking door now.”
“Okay, I’m closing it.”
“Is it closed?”
“Yeah.”
“Great. Now, walk away with slow steps, as if you didn’t just break into his flat.”
“I didn’t -,” he begins, but Lily’s sigh is quite convincing. “Okay, I’m walking.”
“Good. Okay. Go to your flat and stay there and make tea. I’ll be there in half an hour. And then if the police don’t come to get you, we’re going to have a talk about this.”
“It’s not really that big a deal, Lily. I already knew that I’m gay.”
“Not about that,” Lily says, “about you following people to their home. I’m going to hang up now before you have time to do something else weird. Bye, Remus. See you soon.”
“Bye,” he says and puts the phone into his pocket.
Lily’s probably right. He should go to his place and make tea and think about what he just did. Also, he probably shouldn’t think about Sirius too much, because otherwise he’s going to blush terribly when the guy comes to buy flowers the next time. It’s going to be so awkward.
“Hey! You there!”
He stops. Someone’s shouting in the corridor. It’s possible that they aren’t talking to him, but then again, there’s no one else around.
He turns slowly. Sirius is walking towards him with hurried steps and a grin on his face.
“Hi,” he says. His face feels really warm.
“I just saw you there,” Sirius says, “like, I saw you in the corridor. I wasn’t home. I went to… I went to buy milk. Or coffee. Both of them, actually. I went away and then when I came back, I just happened to see you walking in the corridor.”
He opens his mouth and then closes it slowly.
“And I have no idea why you’re here,” Sirius says, “absolutely none. I think probably you visited your grandmother. But, you know, I just recognised you right away.”
“Okay,” he says slowly. His voice sounds very thin.
“Because you own the flower shop,” Sirius says. “It’s a very good flower shop. I always buy flowers from you.”
“Yeah,” he says.
“And also I’m gay.”
He blinks.
“Yeah,” Sirius says and smiles, “I’m gay. Do you want to come over?”
“What?”
“Because you seem nice. And cute. And also you smell nice.”
“What?”
“What?” Sirius asks and then shakes his head. “No, sorry, that slipped out. You don’t smell good. Or you probably do but I don’t know it yet. I definitely don’t know it yet. Please, come over. I’ll make you tea. But I should warn you that I don’t have many of those, you know, those little things you people have in your kitchens. A coffee machine. A tea machine. A warming machine. That kind of thing.”
“That kind of thing?”
“Yeah,” Sirius says, “it’s because I went to school in a pretty odd place. You haven’t heard of it. We do things a bit differently. So, don’t worry about that.”
“I wasn’t worrying about that,” Remus says and swallows. “A warming machine?”
“Yeah,” Sirius says, “you know, a thing that warms… things. Warms things up. Food. The thing that warms food up. So that it’s warm when you eat it.”
Remus nods. It seems possible that he doesn’t understand everything that Sirius is saying only because the man is standing right in front of him and he looks so good and also he smells good and he keeps smiling and he’s kind of walking towards his flat now and Remus is following, which means that soon he’s going to be in this absolutely beautiful man’s flat, alone, like, not alone like he was just a few minutes ago, but rather alone with this man. Maybe they’ll kiss. Oh, no, he can’t think about that, because now he’s blushing even more, and he can’t blush, he has to be cool so that Sirius will like him. But he never knew how to be cool.
“This is it,” Sirius says and opens the front door to his flat. “Come in, please.”
“Okay,” Remus says and tries to look surprised. “You have a lot of flowers.”
“I do,” Sirius says. “I kind of have a crush on the owner of the flower shop.”
Oh, shit. Sirius likes someone else. “Really?”
“You,” Sirius says and looks at him, “I have a crush on you. You’re the owner of the flower shop.”
“Oh,” Remus says. His heart is beating so fast that it feels a bit insane. He should probably figure out something to talk about soon, before his heart bursts. He looks around. Sirius’ flat looks almost the same as a few minutes before, only something’s missing. “Hey, where’s your dog?”
“Don’t worry about that,” Sirius says and smiles. “Can I kiss you?”