Chapter Text
Yawning into his scarf, Magnus wrapped his fingers around his warm take-out coffee cup and shifted his weight on his feet. Living in New York meant getting the train to and from his work, and mornings like this made it hard for the man to enjoy it. He could see his breath in the air and the tip of his nose was almost numb with the cold. Glancing at the antique clock still hanging at his station, only a few minutes and his train would arrive.
Magnus Bane, 32 years old, had refused to learn to drive in a city as busy as this. Plus, his commute gave him chance to have a coffee and wake up before being stuck in a mind-numbing office for hours. But lately there was another reason to enjoy the train ride, and he was soon to come across that reason again. He lived on his own, and enjoyed that he lived on the edge of the city so he didn’t have to cope with the noise that came from the inner city at night. He wasn't exactly anti-social, he had a small circle of friends. He just liked to be able to go to bed and have silence as he drifted into dreamland. And the train ran pretty regularly so if he went to meet friends on a weekend, he could still make it home okay – as long as he didn't miss the last one that was. But his friends were usually happy to put him up for the night.
Magnus was pulled from his thoughts at the sound of a train arriving, his dark eyes lifting to look at the oncoming train. There was a twinge of excitement in his stomach, knowing what – or more who – was on that train. As the train pulled into the station, he let an elderly woman board before him with a warm smile before he climbed on as well. He made his way through the car, not even needing to check for empty seats since so early, it was pretty quiet anyway. Dropping his satchel onto his usual seat, Magnus put the cardboard cup down first, unwrapped his scarf then sank comfortably into the seat. A little cold but he didn't mind, he would soon warm up. Hearing a cough beside him, Magnus looked over and couldn't help the smile that tugged at the corner of his mouth.
Sank comfortably in the corner of the seat across the aisle was another man. Magnus guessed about six foot-ish, messy dark hair and light brown eyes. His eyes were glued to the pages of the book in his hands as always. Today it was a different book, and he never seemed to stick to one genre. Last week it had been a dog-eared copy of Shakespeare's sonnets. This week it was a classic Stephen King, The Shining. Magnus had to stop himself staring in case the man caught him doing just that.
It had been a few months since this mystery man had first boarded the train. Clearly new to the city as the first handful of journeys, he had constantly glanced out of the window and checked his phone to see the time. But now he knew the journey length subconsciously like most on the train, so was always lost in a book.
The train journey typically lasted an hour and a half. Which meant a good twenty minutes of Magnus sneaking glances at the other man. The way his jaw would clench a little when the book clearly got interesting, the flutter of his fingers as he turned the pages and would sometimes pause to sip whatever drink he'd brought along with him that day. Magnus found himself wondering what the man's voice sounded like. Was it kind of rough from sleep still? Or higher pitched than his appearance would suggest? Were his teeth all perfectly lined? Or did he have a cute little snaggle tooth?
Magnus would spend many moments questioning and trying to build this man in his mind, the least of his worries being the man's name. That would come later, for now he'd use pet names in his mind. He knew it was silly but, he enjoyed his little fantasy world with Train Man.
Today Magnus's imagination had them enjoying a lunch break together. They'd meet between their two places of work and find a café or restaurant that suited. Today they playfully bickered about whose turn it was to pay. They settled on a little Italian place, almost comically small but cozy at the same time. The smell of fresh pasta and garlic in the air amongst the other many herbs and aromas. They'd take a seat by the window and would each look at a menu, using their free hands to hold hands over the table. Casually discussing the latest dramas at their places of work, people watching and Magnus usually trying to convince him that 'yes it's totally fine to have a glass of wine with dinner, no one will know' as he admires the extensive wine list. Train Man – or Mark as he's known in this imaginary scenario – would laugh, kiss Magnus's knuckles and allow him to order them both a small glass of white wine each. They'd share the garlic bread and enjoy the hearty 'home made' dishes, obviously sharing bits of their own dishes with the other as well. Then they'd chat and make the most of having a long lunch break on a Wednesday. Dessert would come after work though. 'Mark' would get a call to head back to work first and he would do with a heavy sigh and an apologetic smile – which Magnus would just kiss happily and make a point of telling him whoever leaves first has to buy dessert for that evening. And then he'd watch him walk away, shamelessly ogling him with a goofy grin on his face.
And then, the daydream was interrupted by the ticket inspector tapping him on the shoulder. Luckily Magnus had been gazing out of the window and not at the man in his mind so he wasn't caught. He gave an apologetic smile to the ticket inspector and handed over his ticket; glancing over to see if Train Man was aware of Magnus's goof. Luckily his book was more interesting than his surroundings so he never looked up. Letting out a little sigh of relief, Magnus picked up his coffee to take a sip of that to keep him grounded and thinking about things more current and realistic.
Magnus Bane never got crushes like this. He was a confident guy with a handful of ex-partners. Yeah, he got crushes, but not ones this long. And especially not ones that came with childish daydreams. His closest friends knew about Train Man. Luckily, they weren't the embarrassing type of friends who would come to the train station to peek at his crush. Catarina had threatened to do it by Christmas if Magnus hadn't made a move. Catarina sat at the desk beside Magnus's, so she could easily flick stuff at him and demand information on whether he'd done anything yet or if he continued to bury his head in his daydreams and failed dates with other people.
"Come on Magnus, that woman you met last week was nice. What was her name... Amanda!" Catarina smiled, cosying up next to Magnus on their lunch break as they shared a convenience store sushi platter. Magnus just rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, she was nice, but she already started talking babies on the first date. I am not prepared for that kind of crazy." He laughed, picking at his tuna roll. A far cry from the imaginary carbonara he'd eaten that morning.
"What Magnus means is she isn't him. " Came the British accent from behind Magnus, causing him to roll his eyes.
"Ragnor, I am trying to find dates and join the real world of couples like you two. It's just difficult." He mused, stuffing the sushi into his mouth as his two friends exchanged glances over his head.
"Are you sure you aren't being too picky Magnus? You're desperately looking for Train Man in everyone else. We don't even know if this guy is straight. He may even be a serial killer!" Catarina nodded, agreeing with her own words. Magnus just rolled his eyes and gave a wave of his hand like shooing away flies.
"Can we talk about something else perhaps? Instead of my imaginary boyfriend." He laughed, knowing he sounded ridiculous but that's all it was going to be. Imaginary.
5pm couldn't roll around fast enough. Magnus ready to get home, have a glass of wine and relax with some Law and Order or something to take his mind off of his own life. He clutched a paper bag in his free hand, the warm cinnamon rolls inside gave his fingertips some warmth as he joined the masses of people waiting at the station. The commute home meant he rarely got to see Train Man, so he usually spent it checking his phone or with his earphones pressed into his ears as sometimes the noise of the evening commute could sometimes drive him insane. Today was no exception. He turned the volume of his ipod up a little, drowning out some high-pitched giggling schoolkids as he managed to squeeze onto the train and grab a seat before they were all gone. He sighed softly, at least the crowded train provided some kind of warmth compared to the cool outside air. Leaning his head back against his seat, Magnus closed his eyes and let his music float through his mind. Along with questions of Train Man. Did he like dancing? What kind of music might he listen to? He seemed like an indie rock type guy. Or maybe he had a soft spot for girly pop groups?
Magnus must have dozed off at some point because his ipod had gone from Moonlight Sonata to jerking him away with the loud introduction of Lady Gaga's newest song. He blinked a few times, wondering if he'd dozed off with his mouth open. No, his mouth didn't feel 'sleep dry' so he must have managed to regain some composure. It took him a moment to find himself as he looked out of the window and realised the next stop would be his own. He cursed under his breath and shoved his ipod into his bag, gathering his stuff and preparing to squeeze out of his seat – no doubt as someone else tried to squeeze in before he'd even properly gotten up. As he glanced around the carriage, he spotted him. Train Guy. Stood to one side, his height coming to use as he could hold onto the rail above his head without straining and he could continue reading. Did he always read? Maybe his job was reading? Magnus wondered if it would be weird to get his attention. Well if he offered his seat then maybe not. As the train started to slow down as it approached the station, Train Man glanced up – thick eyebrows raising slightly as a school kid whacked him in the stomach with his backpack and no apology. Magnus smiled at his calm response before he realised Train Man was looking his way. His heart stopped and leapt into his throat as those eyes met his own. He slid out of his seat and gestured to offer his seat to the man, who seemed to give a 'oh thank god' look and made his way over. Every step closer had Magnus's heart racing as he sized up their height difference.
"Thanks. One more school bag to the gut and I might have gotten off and waited for the next one." Followed by a wonky grin. He had the most perfect teeth and the softest looking pink lips. Magnus took a moment before he realised he was staring; his brain urging him to respond. He smiled back at Train Man, giving a wave of his hand.
"Don't worry about it. It's only fair to help my fellow man out." Was his awkward reply as he made a thousand mental notes as to how Train Man looked, sounded and the soft hint of his aftershave as he'd squeezed past to take the seat.
He'd finally spoken to Train Man. Finally heard his voice. It was soft but with a strong accent, Brooklyn maybe? It definitely suited that face and his eyes. Oh, his eyes. How they'd crinkled at the corners when he grinned, genuinely thankful for the seat. And that grin. Perfect teeth with a lopsided grin. Magnus was happy to have seen it and he made his way home with a skip in his step, which meant he accidentally swung his bag of cinnamon rolls into a nearby puddle but he was past caring. Train Man spoke to him and even smiled.
As the weeks trickled past, Magnus seemed to be searching for reasons to speak with Train Man again. Just to hear that voice again. His last trick was to let his train ticket fall from his grip as he fought with his scarf and into his seat. Train Man tapping his shoulder gently to let him know. Magnus has given his best smile and thanked him, quickly trying to figure a conversation starter but he soon lost Train Man into his book again. Magnus cursed in his brain and sank defeated into his seat. Of course he told Catarina once he arrived at the office and she'd rolled her eyes, flicked his forehead and told him to 'grow a pair' before disappearing to answer her phone. Magnus was starting to wonder if he should be cliched and talk about the weather to Train Man; or ask about the book he was reading – although he was never really sure of half the books he was reading.
It wasn't until lunch that Catarina offered an idea.
"It's your birthday tomorrow, right?" Magnus paused, swallowing his food and giving her a look of 'we are not going clubbing on a Tuesday' as he waited for her to continue. "Hear me out before you give me judgemental looks Magnus." She pulled her chair closer to his with the glint of an idea clearly in her eyes. Putting his food aside, Magnus gave the woman his full attention.
"Go on then." Catarina grinned when he agreed to listen, practically wiggling with excitement.
"Okay so. What if you tell Train Man 'hey it's my birthday, let's hang out!' Or something? Or invite him out for a birthday drink then we'll arrive late and let you chat." Magnus had to pause before he burst out laughing at the idea.
"Oh, come on, don't laugh. And I did warn you if you don't speak to him by Christmas, I will follow you on your commute and talk to him myself. You literally have just over a month to do something ." Magnus sighed and waved it off, like he'd ever point the man out. Plus, the evening commute home was so busy, she'd never find him.
"Maybe. We'll see." He muttered, even though his ideal birthday present would be Train Mans name at least – he couldn't help the shyness that chewed his brain and kept him from trying.
The rest of the day was spent with Catarina telling Ragnor her plan and him joining in with egging Magnus to do something.
As home time rolled around, Magnus couldn't get rid of the idea from his mind – he was in his own little world as he made his way to the train station. Cold fingers curled around the strap of his bag as his dark eyes were fixed on the floor in front of him. Could he really just slide over and casually mention it's his birthday? Would that make him seem really weird? He climbed onto the train as it pulled up; silently sliding into his seat as he chewed his lower lip and weighed up the pros and cons of taking a leap of faith. He was barely focussing as he stood up to get out of his seat to get ready to leave the train when he collided with someone else.
"I am so sorry!" He glanced up, and of course, Train Man was stood in front of him – looking a little bewildered. Magnus had just walked face first into a tall man without even realising he was there. Train Man just smiled that heart-stopping smile in response and Magnus lost his train of thought. He didn't even realise his hands were still on the man's firm chest for what was probably an unusually long time. It wasn't until the train moved again and made them both stumble a little that Magnus quickly pulled his hands back and realise he'd missed his stop.
"Oh crap... I walk into a six-foot-tall man and now miss my stop. Today is not my day." He laughed awkwardly, shoving his hands into his pockets as Train Man laughed as well and stepped aside to let Magnus pass.
"It's okay, I guess you were lost in your thoughts. I've missed my stop many times by being distracted." He chuckled, Magnus trying to not stare as he made sure he has his stuff.
"Such are the woes of a daydreamer I guess." Was his reply, Train Man laughing as he slid into his seat.
"Well I hope you make it home safely." A smile was given before Magnus forced himself to turn and head towards the door so he could get off at the next stop and wait for a train to send him home. What he couldn't get out of his mind was the feeling of that firm, broad chest under his palms. The soft scent of the mans aftershave still lingered in his nose. The short but sweet conversation that had occurred. Maybe Catarina was right and it was time for Magnus do actually do something.
That night, as Magnus sat watching some mindless comedy show on TV and picking at his food, he couldn't help but wonder how he could approach the subject. Suddenly saying he was attracted to Train Man might make things incredibly awkward. And as tempting as it was to take Catarinas idea and invite him out for a drink, he knew if that occurred then he would end up drinking too much before Train Man arrived and make a fool of himself. It was then that TV did the wonderful thing and gave him an idea. The comedian on TV was talking about passing notes to his wife at their workplace to try and get to know her and admit his crush. Granted there was some flourish to make the story more interesting, but the cogs were turning. A note wasn't a bad idea. Train Man could read it when Magnus was gone, if he wanted to read it. And he could include some kind of contact detail so they could get in touch. It wasn't as scary as face-to-face admission but, it was at least a step in the right direction?
Hours seemed to melt past as the pile of screwed up paper piled up around Magnus, each jotted idea of conversation starters or date hints was quickly discarded before he even fully considered how it might go. He even fell asleep at one point, pen still in his hand and his head rolled back on the sofa – only to be awoken by the sound of the notebook sliding off of his lap and startling his cat, Chairman Meow, who quickly fled the room with thud as he slid into the cushioned bed at the end of the hall.
"Sorry CM." He called out, rubbing his face and getting up; kicking everything aside as he padded through to his bed, staring at the last idea he'd jotted down. He gave up at that and flopped heavily onto his bed with an exhausted groan. Lucky for Magnus his alarm was the same Monday to Friday so he didn't need to worry or check.
The next morning on the train, he was exhausted. His own stupidity really, but Catarina had woken him up about 20 minutes before his alarm to wish him happy birthday in an annoyingly chirpy voice for somewhere between 5 and 6 AM. He'd laughed and thanked her though, heading off to make breakfast and answer a few social media birthday wishes before he left for work – his note shoved in his pocket to give him a chance to re-read and suck up the courage to speak with Train Man.
"Happy birthday to me..." He mused as the train pulled in and he stepped on, feeling horribly nervous as he slid into his seat and spotted those brown eyes boring into a new book; but a polite smile was exchanged when Train Man spotted Magnus sliding into his seat before turning his attention straight back to the book perched in his hands. Magnus knew he had no way of getting his attention to start his conversation. Cool, calm Magnus would move to sit across from Train Man and casually start a conversation. Exhausted, nervous Magnus just stared at Train Man and clenched his fists in his pockets. What if... I just give him the note? It would make sense... all that was written on it was his practiced speech and all he needed to do was add his email address to the bottom. Rummaging in his bag for a pen, he tugged the note out of his pocket and added his email address to the bottom. It was easier than a phone number, at least then he wouldn't have to hear that honey voice saying no to him. As the train headed into the station, he neatly folded the note up and put a little smiling face on the top corner. He took a moment before making sure to get out of his seat first. His hands almost trembling as he slid the note under the book; glancing back to meet the confused stare of Train Man which indicated he got the note before he hurried off and hoped to disappear into the crowd. The note wasn't a romantic poem or any kind of eloquent love confession, it simply said;
' My name is Magnus Bane. It's my birthday today so I figured, why not do something exciting. So.. My task to myself is to ask you, the most handsome man on my commute, to maybe let me take you for a drink at some point? My email address is [email protected] if you wish to send your answer here! Thank you for reading!'
Of course, Magnus spent his shift refreshing his inbox and telling Catarina and Ragnor that he took a leap of faith and tried. They both seemed insanely excited, like they knew how the man would reply or something. Magnus even asked them repeatedly if they secretly knew Train Man and were hiding something from him. He had wondered it a few times with Catarina's insistence of him saying something to the man. Eventually he believed them and stopped threatening them both with toothpicks, throwing himself into his work to stop focusing on his inbox.
Yet, oddly enough, Train Man wasn't on his commute home. Maybe he was working late? Or maybe he was avoiding Magnus? Magnus felt a little dejected and did the stereotypical thing of grabbing a bottle of wine on his way home, telling himself if it was a hell no, then this was a birthday wine. If it was a yes then it was a celebration wine.
Magnus sat practically on the edge of his sofa all night as he kept hitting refresh on his inbox, waiting between sips of wine and snacks. His parents called around 9pm to wish him a happy birthday and catch up on everything. Of course, getting the yearly reminder from his mother that he was 'another year older, and another year still single' with her attempt at the puppy-dog-eyes. He would never admit he was lusting over a man he daren't even speak to properly. They chatted for a little while longer before they ended the call with a promise of visiting over summer.
As the call ended, Magnus was just about to get up when he noticed there was a little notification in the tab for his emails. His heart skipped nervously as he hovered over it, weighing up waiting to read it. He looked over at the cat for a moment, like the old man might tell him what to do before he just clicked it. One new e-mail. Alexander Lightwood. Well, either it was a spam email or Train Man just revealed his actual name. However, the title of 'Note on the train' was a clear indication that it was the latter. Magnus just sat staring for a moment before downing the rest of his wine and clicking on it to open the email.
' Hello Magnus! I got your note, admittedly I was very surprised and confused at first. Firstly, I hope you had a really good birthday. Although your presence on the train tells me you still had to work. Maybe you celebrated later? And on to the second part... I have to admit, I am very flattered. You seem like a nice guy, but I need to be honest. I have a girlfriend. And I’m not really into guys… I hope this won't make things awkward. Let's speak again soon, okay? Yours, Alec.'
It took a few times reading it for Magnus to believe what he was reading. A reply that was both honest and a rejection in the kindest way. It sucked but, at least Magnus finally had his answer. He sank, defeated, back into his seat with a heavy sigh. Train Man now had a name... and a rejection.
A quick text to Catarina to sulk and a glass of wine later and Magnus had closed his laptop then resigned himself to huddling on the sofa with a cheesy movie playing. He never reacted badly to rejection, but he was a little sad that he didn't have any chance with this beauty on the train. Eventually he resigned himself to bed, a little uneasy about getting the train in the morning and seeing Train Man – no, Alec. Luckily tomorrow was Friday so it only meant one awkward interaction then a weekend to just relax and work on pushing this crush aside for now.
Magnus had never been so tempted to get an earlier train before in his whole life; and he had decided an extra half an hour of sleep was nicer than being obviously avoidant. So here he was, same coffee clasped between his hands, his new scarf wrapped around his chin to keep him warm and waiting for his train. He had told himself if it was meant to be, it would have been. But, the fates had decided to make Alec straight and give him a girlfriend – who was no doubt as beautiful as Alec. Magnus would just focus on work and finding someone else who might fill that hole in his life. Climbing onto the train, he momentarily debated getting a seat in a different carriage but scolded himself for being childish. He slid into his seat, quiet, before he dared spare a glance across the aisle. There he sat, the same book between his hands. After a moment or two, Alec seemed to realise Magnus was there and he lifted his head, giving a soft smile.
"I hope you had a good birthday." Was his only greeting before Magnus smiled in return, giving a non-committal noise and a comment about his parents chipping at him for spending it on his own. Alec only smiled, shaking his head as he looked back at his book.
"What do you mean you're giving up?!" Magnus had only seen Catarina this startled once before, and that was upon learning that cashews come from fruit. He made a 'shush' motion with his hands, not wanting the entire office hearing his sad excuse for a love life was crashing around him.
"He has a girlfriend and he's straight. Cat, I am not chasing ghosts. It's over." He laughed bitterly, yeah, he was bummed that he'd never get a chance with someone as gorgeous as Alec. But all he could do now was move on and find someone else, right? Catarina just gave him a sad look and decided to change the subject – which Magnus was very grateful for. He didn't want to seem like a whiny teenager, complaining his crush didn't like him back and was therefore 'a massive butthead.'