Work Text:
“Bender,” said Leela, in that long-suffering, exhausted way that suggested she’d finally reached her limit for the guys’ shenanigans, “this honeymoon is already bizarre enough with you spending every second of your time with me and Fry. Do you have to make it stranger by asking us to kiss in front of your ex-girlfriend to make her feel jealous?” She didn’t need to ask if robots felt jealousy – she’d experienced it firsthand.
“What are you complaining about?” Bender asked, slugging a gulp of Olde Fortran down, “you know Bender always makes everything around him one hundred percent more awesome, even weird family trips like this.”
“We’re not a family,” Leela said humorlessly. “And I desperately don’t want to imagine what’s possessed you into thinking we are…”
“Leela!” Fry protested. “Bender’s my best friend! And our best friend! And now that we share everything, he’s our family’s best friend! And he looks really good in a bathing suit, too!”
“Thank you for noticing,” said Bender.
“Well,” she said. “If we can get back to the hotel before our check-out time, we could add a little bit of jealousy making to the agenda,” she said. “But only if we keep to our schedule. And I’ll only accept a little hand play. And NO tongue.”
“But I’m your husband.”
“I meant Bender.”
“No sweat. Don’t even have a tongue,” he reminded her.
“Leela – loosen up. You’re being responsible again!” Fry pointed out, and tried to jam a french fry between his teeth. When he missed and poked himself in the eye, Bender redirected his hand with a patient sigh. “Thank you,” Fry said.
“One of us has to be,” she said sourly, but smiled when Fry wrapped an arm around her shoulder. “Anyway, who was this girl? What did she do to make you so jealous?”
“Well, Leela – let’s just say it involved a soup strainer, a jealous vending machine, and a chick with a loaded processor.” He slipped an arm around her other shoulder and she didn’t push him away. It was really weird, how easy it was to get into character and play his girlfriend. She even let him hug her as they walked toward the Boardwalk. Maybe Fry was right – she really did need to loosen up a little more and see what the guys she knew so well had to offer.
She’d think about it later, after she made this chick pay for breaking Bender’s heart.