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Jungkook was young. Young meant he was acting childish. Ignoring his hyung while being close to others just to make that hyung getting jealous and craving for him more was all fun and game.
Until it was not fun anymore.
He loved Jimin. He really did. Maybe just a little too much but no one needed to know that. He had always loved Jimin. From the very start where they were rookie until now. In fact, he kept falling deeper. Why not? Jimin had become a lot more beautiful, prettier and softer. But that’s not it. His heart was getting bigger too. Jimin was beautiful inside out and Jungkook admitted that.
But when it started to get wrong? How did all of the fun and game go wrong?
The jealousy. Jungkook may be innocent, but he knew jealousy when he saw one. His hyung showed it a lot back then. When he kept rejecting his hyung and spent time with others, especially Taehyung since that hyung really knew to play around well. He saw that. Saw the way Jimin’s lips set into a pout and his eyes followed his every movement. And when his hyung whined for his attention, he rejected him or just simply ignored him.
How foolish he was. If only he noticed, the way Jimin’s entire body slumped down or the way his eyes were a bit glassy, he would have stopped. But he didn’t.
He really was a fool.
He didn’t realise when it all changed. Maybe it did gradually but still, he realised it when it was all too late. Jimin no longer sought for him. The amount he called for Jungkook’s attention could be counted with fingers. They only interacted when work was involved. Back then, Jungkook just waved it off, telling himself that maybe his hyung was just busy and tired but looking forward, he was dumb for not taking it seriously.
That was the first sign.
Then, Jimin no longer got jealous when he was playing around with others. No more glancing, no more pout. Only blank face staring at his own phone, lips in straight line. He didn’t look agitated or nor jealous. He looked like he was rather being somewhere else. That’s when Jungkook started to get worried. But still, he pushed the thought away, totally was not ready to know the truth.
That’s his mistake for ignoring the second sign.
When the third sign happened, it didn’t come gradually. It came at him with full force. Jimin, the kindest person he had ever knew, snapped at him. Never once did Jimin lash out at him. Getting mad, yes but never raising his voice at him. But that night, Jimin did.
Jimin did yell at him and Jungkook knew right at time, how fucked up he was.
“Jimin, did you see my phone?”
They didn’t really communicate that day and Jungkook was kinda longing to hear his hyung’s voice again so he tried asking him as he searched around in Jimin’s and Hoseok’s room. He left it there when he was spending time with Hoseok, but really that was an excuse to see Jimin because that hyung didn’t leave his room since dinner.
But when all he got was silence, he stop fussing around and turned to Jimin with a frown. His hyung was staring at his own phone and seemed like that he didn’t hear him. Or rather, he pretended not to. Jungkook’s heart beat just a tad faster.
“Jimin, I was asking if you did see my phone.” He asked louder, hoping that at least Jimin would look at his direction but he didn’t. His heart started to ache.
“Jimin-“
“Maybe if you call me hyung, I will answer your question, Jeon Jungkook.”
Jungkook felt his throat clenching. He didn’t know what was worse, Jimin not sparing him any glance or that Jimin addressing him by his full name with a tone that he had never heard from Jimin before.
And yet again, Jungkook was foolish.
“You never cared about the way I called you before.”
Jimin sighed, but still didn’t look up from his phone. “Fine then. From now on, call me hyung like you should be.”
Jungkook wanted to yell at Jimin for still talking to him in that tone. He hated it because it sounded empty and blank just like Jimin’s expression right now.
“What’s wrong with you? We rarely talk nowadays and now when we did, you didn’t even bother to look at me? Is your phone more important than me?”
Jungkook knew he should stop. It was just a small matter and he was mostly agitated at the lack of attention from his hyung lately. No need to be a jerk about it but Jungkook just couldn’t let it pass. He missed his hyung a lot and he wasn’t going to lie but the way Jimin acted right now really hurt him.
Jimin finally let his gaze slide off his phone and landed on him. And now, Jungkook regretted it. Jimin’s eyes were as empty as his voice. He watched with a loud heartbeat as Jimin slowly sat up, phone thrown aside and eyes on him.
“We rarely talk nowadays? Oh really? You noticed that? Good for you but I don’t care.”
It hit Jungkook so hard his breath was snatched away. I don’t care. Jimin said that. His hyung really said that he didn’t care. Jungkook couldn’t breathe.
“And since when you are important to me?”
It hit him harder this time, more painful and Jungkook had to fist his hands hard to remind him that he wasn’t dreaming right now. Jimin, out of all people, said that to him, with that toneless voice of him that still sounded so unfamiliar and Jungkook refused to believe this.
“W-why are you being like this?” his voice came out as a whisper but he knew Jimin heard him because Jimin’s gaze noticeably became darker.
“Why do you care?” and Jimin got out from his bed, making way to walk pass Jungkook but Jungkook grabbed his arm in reflex, eyes wide and shaking.
“You know I care about you, Jimin.” Jungkook hoped Jimin would believe him because Jungkook needed him to. But he should know better.
Jimin pulled his hand away, frowning. “You don’t have to lie, Jungkook.” He hissed. “And I know you hate me.”
Blood drained from Jungkook’s face. “But I don’t hate y-“
“Shut up!”
And that’s it. Jimin yelled at him. He yelled at him but his eyes were turning glassy. Jungkook swallowed hard, feeling his heart prickling at the sight. He caused this. His foolish act caused this.
“H-hyung.”
Jungkook didn’t know what to do. Or to be truthful, he had so many things to do. He wanted to hold his hands, to pull him into a hug and never let go, to kiss him hard, and most of all, he wanted to convince Jimin that he really, really didn’t hate him. It was exactly the opposite. But he was Jeon Jungkook and since when Jeon Jungkook was brave enough to do all of these?
Jimin scoffed. “Now you do call me hyung.” He tilted his head backwards, as if to prevent his tears from spilling and inhaled deeply. “I’m tired. Get out.”
Jungkook didn’t budge. Not that he didn’t want to but he couldn’t. There’s a weigh pinning him down, and he felt as if his entire body was crashing.
“Didn’t you hear me, Jungkook? Get out. Shouldn’t you be happy that I no longer annoy you like I did?”
Terror cursed through Jungkook’s entire body. “Hyung, I never said that.” His voice was still in whisper.
Jimin chuckled humourlessly. “Of course you didn’t. You didn’t have the heart to tell me that because I looked so pathetic chasing you around back then, didn’t I? That was so kind of you.”
“Hyung,” there’s a lump in his throat, causing the words to get stuck and he swallowed hard again. “Hyung, no.”
Jimin just breathed harshly and turned away from him. “Why couldn’t you just leave? I don’t have time for this.”
It was the pain caused by the way Jimin looked so done with him right now that triggered him to reach for Jimin’s hand and vomit out his words. “Hyung, let me fix this. I promise I will treat you better, please.” His hold tightened a little, eyes screaming desperation.
And to his surprise, Jimin smiled. Jimin smiled at him and it looked so soft that he dared to hope maybe Jimin was going to give him a chance to redeem his mistake. His heart beat in anticipation as Jimin opened his mouth to reply.
“Too fucking late. I already gave up.”
And Jimin snatched his hand away, eyes dead and expressionless, turning around to storm out of the room. Jungkook stood there, unmoving for a moment and hand still in the mid-air. Before he knew it, all kind of emotions came crashing him down at once and he was on the floor, sobbing and gasping for air because it hurt, it hurt anywhere he felt like he was going to die. Maybe he wouldn’t but it seemed like he should because he basically had lost his reason to live.
He had lost Jimin and what was worse than that?
Jungkook woke up with a start. Jerking up to a sitting position, he breathed harshly through his nose, nerves racing with so much adrenaline that his heart hurt due to the loud heartbeat. He took some time to realise that he was on his bed and that was really weird considering he didn’t remember going to sleep. He didn’t remember anything at all, but when blood stopped pulsing in his ear as his mind started to clear up, fragments of memory caught up with him. Now he remembered he was in Hoseok’s and Jimin’s room, searching for his lost phone and Jimin was in there on his own bed-
Wait. Fuck, Jimin.
Everything then came crashing on him at once. He remembered. He remembered Jimin’s distant and empty gaze, Jimin’s emotionless voice, Jimin’s words that pierced through right at his heart, Jimin’s retreating and Jimin, who he loved so much saying that he gave up on him.
He gave up on Jungkook.
So much happened in a blur of second. He gasped, throwing the blanket aside and scrambled out his bed in a hustle. His legs almost gave out under him because he was shaking so much but he braced himself and propelled his body out of the room, searching for Jimin, needing to see him after what had happened between them last night. He burst open the door to Jimin’s room only to be greeted by a sight of Jimin’s empty bed, as if the elder never came back after their fight and Jungkook swallowed, eyes starting to shake.
“Jungkook? What’s wrong?”
Jungkook let his gaze slide to Hoseok’s bed and he saw Hoseok standing the edge of it, staring at Jungkook with curious expression.
“Jimin,” he breathed out, chest heaving slightly. “Where’s he?”
Hoseok watched him for a while, maybe startled at how desperate Jungkook looked with that shaky gaze of his, but luckily for him, Hoseok didn’t comment anything on it. “He was in Yoongi’s room, I think.”
Jungkook didn’t reply anything. He turned around and approached Yoongi’s room, hurry in each steps. His hand reached for the door knob, twisting it and pushed the door open. And he freezed.
On the bed, Yoongi was shirtless, and that shouldn’t be a problem, except he was stroking someone’s hair that had been sticking out of the lump of blanket. And Jungkook knew whose hair it was. The dull blonde hair belonged to Jimin, who might be shirtless too. His throat got constricted.
Yoongi’s smile that was there when he was watching Jimin faded when his eyes meet Jungkook’s. And Jungkook didn’t know whether he should be relieved or not at the absence of sign that Yoongi knew about his fight with Jimin. “Yes, Jungkook?”
Jungkook couldn’t exactly form words. His mouth opened and closed but eventually he managed to blurt out a “J-Jimin.”
Yoongi gaze flicked to Jimin who apparently was deep asleep. The smile was there again and it made Jungkook dreading for the worst. “Sorry Kook but he had a rough night. He might be exhausted. I don’t want to wake him up yet.” And the smile got wider.
Jungkook’s heart shattered. Rough? Exhausted? They couldn’t be-
“Kook?”
Jungkook blinked. He couldn’t see. Perhaps it was because of tears that had been blurring his sight. Nor he could breathe. His heart thud heavily with every each of intake of air and it hurt he had to gasp to keep breathing.
“Jungkook?” he heard Yoongi calling for him again but he couldn’t answer. Not when his mind was spinning and everything felt so damn heavy. “Kook, hey, you okay?”
When Jungkook opened his mouth, a sob escaped. He clasped a hand over it but it was pointless because the next moment, he was sobbing uncontrollably and his body trembled along. He tried to calm down and yet he was already a wreck mess. And when he realised Jimin started to stir awake, he turned around and made a run for the bathroom.
Never ever in Jungkook’s life that he had ever feel hopeless like this. Sitting on the cold tiles, knees up and pulled closed to him as his body trembling so hard, face wet with tears and sobbing silently. He kept wiping his tears away but they wouldn’t stop so he finally gave up and pressed his face to his knees. But it was getting suffocating. So he turned on the shower and let the noise covered up the sound of him sobbing.
It hurt. It hurt so much. Who thought that they would end up like this? Not him obviously. Because he was too dumb, too dumb to let someone strong like Jimin to give up on him. It was his fault and he did blame himself but he still couldn’t accept the reality that Jimin was no longer within his grasp.
Jimin could no longer be his and the reality hurt so much.
Everything was a blur after that. He walked aimlessly, like a lifeless person and with every question or voice of concern from his hyungs, he just shook his head weakly, eyes on the ground, never making any eye contact with them. He skipped his breakfast, locking himself in his room and only got out when it was time for the practice.
He was actually glad that his body could remember the steps on its own because his head was a mess right now he couldn’t think properly. He didn’t know what was in his mind, it was a blur, but he could make out fragments of memory of someone, someone so beautiful and meant a lot to him but they started to fade. He panicked and the next thing he knew, he was already on the floor. When he blinked, he realised where he was and there were some pairs of eyes staring at him in concern and worry so he couldn’t help but felt ashamed and hopeless.
“You okay, Kook?” it was Seokjin who asking him that, hand warm on his shoulder and Jungkook looked up, wanting to reply that he was fine but he didn’t. Not when he realised with a pang that Jimin was standing far from him, gulping down water from a bottle and showing no sign of care towards him. A sob threatened to escape but he swallowed it down and shook his head.
“Am okay, hyung.” Seokjin smiled at him but he couldn’t reciprocate it.
“You have been off since this morning. What’s wrong?” Seokjin’s voice was calm and soft but it didn’t affect him like Jimin’s did. There’s a pang in his chest again.
“Nothing, hyung.” His reply was too quick to be true but that’s what he could conjure up right now. Just before Seokjin could prod more, a monotonous voice cut in.
“Focus, Jeon Jungkook. Not everyone loves extra practices like you.”
It was Jimin. Other turn to him in shock but Jimin just stared at the water bottle he was holding like it was the most interested thing he had ever seen. Jungkook inhaled sharply as his eyes turned glassy. Jimin really looked like a different person right now. And to know that he caused this made his heart constricted more.
He looked down and rubbed his eyes. “I’m sorry.” He sniffed once and let out a shaky breath.
“Then get up so we can continue.”
Jungkook didn’t have to look at Jimin to know how annoyed he was. He bit back a sob and scrambled up to get into his position. He didn’t miss the glances of worry from his other hyungs but he knew he deserved this so just he nodded at them, ready to start again. The music was replayed and he prayed that it was loud enough to hide his sniffles as he constantly wiped his tears away.
Break came. They were allowed 30 minutes to rest. Jungkook plopped down on the floor and curled up against the wall. His muscles were burning but that couldn’t compare to the pain he was feeling inside. And it intensified when he caught a sight of Jimin walking out of the room with Yoongi trailing close behind him. Tears stung his eyes again so he pressed his face into his knees and inhaled deeply, heart throbbing in pain at the various scenes he pictured of Jimin and Yoongi together.
He felt someone presence beside him. “Jungkook?” It’s Taehyung. He didn’t look up. “You okay, buddy?”
He wanted to scream at the older for asking him that question. He obviously wasn’t okay. But he knew taking it out on Taehyung would make matter worse so he just blurted out a weak “Yeah,” that was slightly muffled but still audible.
“Sorry. Shouldn’t be asking that. I know you aren’t, Kook-ah. What is it? Did you get into a fight with Jimin?”
Jungkook’s body tensed at that. His hug around himself tightened that, nails pressing into his skin. “He hates me.” he croaked out.
Taehyung huffed out a laugh. “Are we talking about the same Jimin here? Jimin won’t ever hate you, Jungkook.” Jungkook refused to believe him. “Although I got to admit, he was acting weird just now. But listen to me Kook,” there’s a warm hand on his shoulder. “He might be annoyed at you but believe me, he won’t ever hate you. I can promise you that.”
Jungkook bit his lip hard. Taehyung didn’t know what had happened between him and Jimin but he badly wanted to believe him. He wanted to, so bad. So, swallowing the lump in his throat, he asked, “What should I do to make it up to him?”
Silence. Then, Taehyung answered him. “Apologise first. Then, love him.”
Jungkook let out a shaky breath. He suddenly felt tired. Just then he realised, he was getting back all his senses and it was exhausting. Apologising? He could do that? But loving Jimin? Didn’t he already Yoongi to do that? A new wave of sob racked his body and he let his tears fell silently, heart heavy.
No matter what, he needed to apologise first.
Lunch was a torture for Jungkook. He somehow ended up beside Yoongi who became the barrier between him and Jimin. It hurt him to catch a glimpse of Jimin giving Yoongi his best smile, the one Jungkook once dared was reserved for him only and now it wasn’t directed to him anymore. And to make it worse, he noticed Yoongi’s hand rubbing at Jimin’s thigh so he turned his head away, swallowing the big lump in his throat.
“Why aren’t you eating yet, Jungkook?”
Jungkook turned his head back to Namjoon who was sitting right across him and blinked. Once his head registered Namjoon’s words, his hands started to reach for the food and he forced himself to smile. “I’m going to, hyung.” Namjoon stared at him for a moment before he smiled too.
Jungkook looked down at the food. He was hungry but his throat felt rough so when he stuffed the food into his mouth, he had to swallow it hard. After 3 spoon, he couldn’t go on anymore because the food felt more like sandpaper so he stopped eating and reached for his glass of juice, gulping half of it down. Having nothing to distract him, his gaze finally slide back to the person who had been occupying his mind all the time, Jimin.
Jimin was eating very well and his heart uncontrollably swelled at the sight. He used to always get worried at Jimin’s unhealthy way of dieting and now, seeing Jimin stuffing spoon after spoon of food into his mouth, cheeks bouncing cutely as he chewed, he felt content even there’s a voice inside his head nagging at him that Jimin seemed unaffected by their fight.
Well of course, Jimin didn’t know how much he was hurting right now, not after his hyung assumed that he was hated by him. I never hate you, hyung. He thought in despair. How should he say that to Jimin, knowing Jimin very much wanted to minimize the interaction between them?
“Jungkook?”
Jungkook’s eyes snapped back to Namjoon, who had been watching him for quite a moment. “Yes, hyung?”
“You aren’t eating, why?” there’s a look on Namjoon’s face that said he had an idea what had been happening so Jungkook looked down, slumping his shoulders to lower his body as if he wanted to hide himself from Namjoon’s scrutinizing gaze.
“Nothing, hyung.” He lied. He didn’t want others to know about his self-loathing thoughts. What would they say? “Just not feeling well.”
“You skipped breakfast too, Kook-ah.” Seokjin interrupted their conversation. Jungkook squirmed, knowing he was the centre of attention with all of eyes on him right now considering the chatters around the table piped down to a silence.
“Really hyung. I just wasn’t feeling well. I’m gonna be okay later. It’s nothing.” He mumbles, head still down. There’s a murmur between Namjoon and Seokjin but he couldn’t catch what it was.
“Guys,” Jungkook’s heart jumped. It was Jimin’s voice. “Wouldn’t you mind if Yoongi hyung and I go first? We,” a pause. “Have some work to do together.”
Jungkook had to bite his lower lip to hide the tremble, glad his head was down because anybody could see how glistening his eyes were right now. His hands were twitching, as if they wanted to reach for Jimin. He did want to. He really wanted to reach for Jimin, and keep him there, stay, not going with Yoongi, doing he knew what. But he didn’t.
Because Jimin wasn’t his.
So he just let Jimin go, leaving the seat beside him empty, and he had never felt that lonely.
Jungkook knew now he couldn’t change anything. He had accepted that. It was a struggle to do so, watching Jimin slipped away from his grasp, but it was his fault to begin with so Jungkook had to let him go. He never could make Jimin happy anyway. But still, Jimin deserved an apology from him, especially when he had been hurting for Jungkook knew how long.
Jimin really deserved a world where a fool like Jungkook didn’t exist.
He never had felt this nervous before. Taking a deep breath, he knocked at the door. For a fleeting moment, he wanted to run away but he shook his head and braced himself.
“Come in!” a voice yelled from inside. He didn’t know whose it belonged to. His hand was shaking when he turned the doorknob. Pushing the door open, he stepped inside. Even with his knees buckling, he stood there, eyes only focus on the person he really wanted to see but he still realised the presence of another person in the room.
Jimin looked up from his phone and when their eyes meet, his gaze didn’t betray any emotion and Jungkook wanted to run away so bad. But he stayed, clenching his fists to gather some courage. A hard job, considering he barely had any in the first place.
“Can we talk?” then he added softly, “Jimin hyung?”
Jimin didn’t answer, just blankly staring at him. He fidgeted, already feeling beads of sweat forming on his forehead when Hoseok spoke up.
“Um, I will leave you guys alone.” Then within seconds, he was out of the room. Jungkook was glad Jimin didn’t stop him.
For a moment, it was a silence. Jungkook tried to remember back the words he formed before he came here but they were nowhere to be found, lost when Jimin glared at him with that heavy gaze of his. And to his surprise, Jimin broke the silence.
“Now talk. Isn’t that your purpose for coming here?”
Jungkook swallowed, the ache was coming back. “I’m sorry, hyung.” He spit the words out before they could get lost again. “I’m really sorry for being mean to you. Please forgive me.” 'please come back to me' almost slipped out past his lips but he clamped his mouth shut. That was enough for now. He couldn’t afford to ruin this.
Another silence. This time, Jimin broke it too. “Come here, Jungkook.”
Jungkook’s heart leapt. Although there’s a lack of nickname, Jungkook couldn’t find in him to care, not when he realised the familiarity in the tone of Jimin’s voice. It was the tone Jimin always used before they drifted apart. Jungkook missed it so damn much it brought tears to his eyes.
Jimin shifted to sit at the edge of the bed and patted the space beside him. “Sit here.”
Jungkook stride to him and slowly sit on the bed, eyes always on him, afraid that if he blinked, Jimin would fade away. Jimin stared ahead and being close like this, Jungkook noticed how his hyung’s figure was basically drowning in fatigue. And that meant he also noticed how much he missed to have moments like this again. His heart ached more.
“You know Jungkook,” Jimin started and Jungkook’s gaze fell on his moving lips, praying that his hyung would keep talking because he also missed his voice so damn much. “I think I went too far.” Jungkook’s heartbeat accelerated.
“I did give up on you.” Jungkook’s inside hurt all over but he willed himself to hear the next words. “But I shouldn’t being mean to you. I shouldn’t hurt you like the way you did to me. You didn’t deserve the pain I felt.”
That’s when Jungkook broke down. Sob escaped his mouth as he brought his face into his face. “I deserve it, hyung. I deserve everything you did to me. It’s my fault to hurt you. You were so nice to me but I never treated you right. I’m so sorry hyung.” He mumbled, voice thick with tears.
He should know Jimin’s personality wouldn’t change. He was still kind as ever but it was Jungkook who broke him, resulting to a flaw, a flaw that destroyed both of them and Jungkook couldn’t put it into words how much he regretted it. Why he was such a fool? Why he didn’t admit it sooner to Jimin that he really loved him? If he did, things would turn out different. But no, trust Jungkook to fuck it up. Trust Jungkook to put an end to them.
“Jungkook,” Jimin pried his hands away and hushed him. “Don’t cry. It’s okay.”
It wasn’t okay. Jungkook still wanted him. Still needed him in his life but who was he to deserve that? He never deserved Jimin.
“Jungkook?”
Jungkook wanted to hold him, and to never let him go. He couldn’t ever imagine his future without Jimin’s smile, Jimin’s laugh, Jimin’s soft touches and especially Jimin in general. He wanted him back.
“Hey, Jungkook. Calm down.”
No wonder he’s suffocating. He couldn’t breathe. His throat got constricted, like he was being choked. His vision was a blur. And no matter how much he tried to regain his normal breathing, he failed. It was getting worse. Everything around him was swirling and the last thing he heard was Jimin calling out his name before he blackened out.
Jungkook woke up with a start, again. Everything was burning inside him and deafening outside and for a moment, all he heard was blood pulsing loud in his ears. When his ragged breathing slowed down, and eyes clear from tears, he looked around him. He was in his bed and again, he didn’t remember going to sleep.
“Jungkook? You already up? Go shower. You said last night you wanna go practice for the awards ceremony, didn’t you?” Namjoon’s voice took him by surprise. His head snapped to Namoon who was standing at the door, looking at his hyung in confusion as he tried to register his words.
“P-practice?” his tongue felt heavy. “A-awards?” he truthfully was so confused.
Namjoon raised an eyebrow. “Yes, Jungkook. For Melon Music Award.”
Jungkook felt numb. Melon Music Award. It was months before he had fight with Jimin. What was happening? He scrambled to get his phone. And when his screen lighted up, he froze. True to Namjoon’s words, the date was exactly a week away from the award ceremony.
He didn’t know what was happening after that. His body was moving on its own. He hopped off his bed, rushing out his room passing Namjoon who was confused and barged into Jimin’s room. His hyung was there, standing near his bed, apparently was in the process of making his bed but now he was looking at Jungkook in astonishment.
“Jungkook-ah, why are you crying?”
Everything was there. Jimin’s soft voice, Jimin’s worried gaze and they were so familiar, so familiar and Jungkook couldn’t describe how glad he was. He took long and quick strides and when he reached Jimin, he cupped his hyung’s face and pressed their foreheads together. Staring into Jimin’s wide eyes, he finally blurted out everything that he should say sooner.
“I’m sorry hyung. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.” a string of I’m sorry left his mouth after that, voice hoarse and wet with tears.
Jimin blinked at him, eyes still wide in astonishment and when he tried to peel away Jungkook’s hands from his face, Jungkook didn’t budge, only held him firmer after that.
“Jungkook, w-what’s wrong?” only when he registered how confused Jimin must had been right now that Jungkook stopped apologizing. He closed his eyes and took a really deep breath. He let Jimin’s warmth and scent soothed him, telling him he was there, he wasn’t going anywhere and Jungkook felt himself melt, all tension leaving his body. Jimin was there, close to him and Jungkook promised he wouldn’t ever let him go again.
Finally, when he was a little bit collected, he opened his eyes back to see Jimin staring at him with the familiar fondness and he found himself standing closer to his hyung. “I’m sorry, hyung.” He started, slowly gaining courage from the way Jimin patiently waiting for him to explain. “I’m sorry for never treating you right.”
Jimin was about to open his mouth to respond but Jungkook immediately pressed a thumb against his lips. They felt soft, inviting but Jungkook focused back on what he was going to say. “You are an amazing person, hyung.” The faint blush on Jimin’s face almost distracted him. “You deserve everything in this world. And I was being cruel by denying it. You did nothing but showering me with love but I always pushed you away. I’m sorry for that. I was being a fool.”
Jimin’s eyes shined with tears that Jungkook thought he had said something wrong but then, the beautiful lips of his hyung started to stretch into a smile and that was enough encouragement for Jungkook to do what he wanted to do next. His arms slowly fell down, sliding around Jimin’s waist and pulled him against his body. He held him tight and nuzzled their noses together.
“And this fool falls for you.” He kissed Jimin’s lips, chaste and soft.
“I love you, hyung.”
Jimin was blank for a moment. He blinked once, twice but he didn’t say anything. Jungkook started to get worried, chewing his lip hard as tears sprang back into his eyes. “H-hyung,”
But apparently, he was worried for nothing because then, Jimin took his face into his hands and crashed their lips together. He let out a cry of relief and kissed him back, or at least trying to because he was crying so hard his lips were trembling. When they parted away, forehead pressed together again, he let Jimin wiped his tears away, all the while staring at the elder, afraid that this was just a dream.
“Can I talk now?” Jimin’s voice was soft when he spoke, and his equally soft smile was there again. Jungkook nodded, hugging him tighter and eyes never left him.
“I don’t know what had happened to you, Jungkook-ah. But I’m glad you did this. And yes, I forgive you, Jungkook. There’s nothing to be forgiven anyway. I never took it to heart when you pushed me away. I know you were just shy and I kind of being annoying.”
Jungkook wanted to deny but Jimin pressed a thumb against his lips, copying his previous action. “But I want to say, it’s okay. I never hated you for that.” A waver was audible in his voice.
“You are a fool.” A tear finally escaped followed by others, running down Jimin’s face and Jungkook’s heart thud painfully at the sight. Jimin’s arms coming down to hug his neck and they stayed close like that, both had tears wetting their faces as they stared lovingly at each other.
“But I still love you, Jungkook-ah.” And Jungkook burst into tears at those words. He buried his face into the crook of Jimin’s neck, sobbing.
“Thank you, hyung. Thank you.” He mumbled between his sobs and pulled Jimin impossibly closer to him.
“Don’t cry, stupid.” Jimin scolded him, but Jungkook didn’t miss the sob escaping his mouth after that. He closed his eyes shut, body shaking with such a great intensity but as Jimin stroked his hair softly, whispering sweet nothings into his ears, everything finally felt right.
Jungkook knew the nightmare of Jimin giving up on him was going to haunt him for the rest of his life but now, having Jimin in his arms and able to call him his, Jungkook didn’t mind it all. Let the nightmare hurt him, it was a good reminder to always love Jimin right anyway.
Life taught Jungkook to never take things for granted. And he definitely learnt it in a very hard way.