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Sungwoon wasn’t blind. He guessed that maybe the way Daniel had been behaving was leading to something more. Something he had hoped would blow over in a few more days so they wouldn’t have to address it formally. It’s not that he didn’t care for Daniel- he did. What he didn’t care for was the status of their relationship. He had fun with Daniel. It came as a surprise that time in the café, but once he let his guard down he realized how well they got along. Granted he did not intend for them to walk into that gray “more than friends” area, but when a charming, handsome man is showing interest in you it becomes a little hard to hold yourself back. When they started fooling around, Sungwoon had decided to remain as emotionally unattached as possible. He figured it being his last year and all, he would focus on graduating, enjoy his last college fling and then move on with his life. He never thought Daniel would actually catch feelings. That was unplanned for.
Sungwoon had chosen to keep this thing with Daniel a secret because he didn’t want other people in his business. He didn’t want to deal with judgmental questions or looks or have to explain that they were just hooking up- no commitment. And Daniel had agreed to keep it private. (At least until the hickey incident.) Therefore, Sungwoon genuinely believed he and Daniel were on the same page. Had Daniel mentioned that he was not okay with their agreement maybe their situation would have been different, but not once did he mention being unsatisfied. On the contrary, he always went along with whatever Sungwoon said. If Daniel never spoke up how was Sungwoon supposed to know how he was feeling?
Sungwoon concluded that he was not to blame for Daniel’s attachment; his intentions were clear from the start. He did feel a little bad hurting Daniel, he did consider them friends after all, but he figured he had to be honest with him.
Anyway, Sungwoon knew this small problem would blow over in a few days and they would go back to their same routine. Daniel just needed some time to sort out his feelings; he would come around- Sungwoon was sure.
It was three days later, the longest Sungwoon and Daniel had gone without talking- not that Sungwoon was keeping track, that he found himself shooing his roommates away from the couch in the living room claiming his cushion to watch his afternoon drama. It was a normal occurrence in their household; everyone knew Sungwoon dominated the tv at that time. He switched to the channel, dropping the remote next to his thigh and cleared out the space next to him out of habit. He tossed the university hoodie, that probably belonged to the sloppy guitarist he lived with, to the floor and plunked the psychology textbook onto the coffee table. He sat back as the broadcasting station rating lit up the screen and the recap of the previous episode played. It was only when the female lead dissed the male lead that Sungwoon realized there was no one laughing with him. He looked at the empty space next to him in almost surprise, remembering that he wasn’t exactly on speaking terms with his drama buddy. He rolled his lips into his mouth and chuckled awkwardly, trying to make less of the situation; not fully understanding why he suddenly felt less enthusiastic to watch the show.
+++
“You came alone? How selfish!”
Sungwoon closed the door behind him. “Hello to you too, hyung.” He pulled out the chair in front of Minhyun and shook his loose bangs out of his face.
Jaehwan anxiously watched the door and tapped his fingers on the table. Minhyun grinned and placed his open palm in front of Jaehwan. The latter bit the inside of his cheek and begrudgingly took his wallet out, pulling out a 10,000 won bill and placing it in his friend’s palm. Sungwoon eyed the exchange with mild disinterest. They must have made another bet on him and this time he had no desire to entertain them with a reaction.
“No Daniel?” Jisung questioned.
Sungwoon took the rice bowls from his hand and gave them to his other roommates, handing them forks while answering.
“No, he had dance practice.” He lied.
Of course, Sungwoon had not told Daniel to come over; although he had thought about it. Just like the last time, Sungwoon’s first reaction had been to send him a message and invite him over. He had went through the motions of opening their chat and typing out the words quickly before he came to his senses and erased the text.
“Well I’ll leave him some in this container and the next time you see him, give it to him.” Sungwoon watched uneasily as Jisung carefully spooned his rice into a plastic bowl.
“Why can’t you give it to him? You hang out with him too.”
“That’s your job, isn’t it?” Jisung smiled harmlessly at him and Jaehwan opened his mouth to make a retort but Minhyun elbowed him with an “Eat your rice!”
Sungwoon shoveled in a mouthful of rice. When had it become my job to look after Daniel?
+++
The weather that week had been perfect; bright, cloudless skies, warm breezes and crisp air and today was no exception. Sungwoon had finished his last class for the day and decided to treat himself to a sweet drink to match the placid afternoon mood. He took his time strolling to his favorite café, greeting Youngmin and Kenta as they exited when he entered. For once, he peered up at the menu and stood to the side to pick a drink; not going for his usual regular coffee. He decided on a caramel Frappuccino and walked up to the smiling barista to order.
“Hey. One caramel Frappuccino and a peach tea, please.”
It rolled off his tongue so effortlessly that it was only when the barista told him the total that he realized he had ordered Daniel’s drink too.
“Oh. Um, sorry but can you take off that peach tea?”
He took his receipt and waited by the pick-up area. He casually recalled how many times he had picked up two drinks instead of one the past months and how much money he had spent altogether- and if it even mattered to him honestly.
He found a solo seat by the window with the high chairs and looked over his shoulder at the booths lining the adjacent windows. He swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat upon spotting their table. Memories floating back to him from when they had first sat there together happily to when they fought unpleasantly last week. It felt wrong to be there alone.
But he guessed that he would have to create new memories to overwrite the old ones. (Even though, deep down, he didn’t really want to.)
+++
“Is this what they call love? When you have it, it’s a burden. Without it, you’re lonely.”
Sungwoon scratched his thigh and yawned, tucking his arm back behind his head.
“Is that so, Gary?” He said aloud.
He was only half paying attention to the Running Man episode playing on his iPad. He was having another quiet night. The third in a row to be exact. It’s not that he hadn’t searched out his friends; he had but they were busy with their own lives. Club activities, visiting parents, movie dates, dinner dates, couple stuff.
Which ultimately led Sungwoon to think about what he was lacking in his own life.
He was sprawled across his bed, limbs making use of all the space he had become accustomed to sharing, before he turned on his side, propping the iPad up on its stand. He yawned, checked the time displayed on the screen and eyed the door.
Nights like these, Sungwoon was used to being accompanied by the pink haired boy who Sungwoon would either call over or would barge in uninvited. If he glanced at the door expectantly more than a few times there was no one there to call him out on it so, he could pretend his disappointment didn’t increase every hour the door remained closed.
He looked at the door one last time, counting to ten before acknowledging that Daniel was not going to walk through it no matter how many times he looked at it. He fell asleep thinking about the Running Man star’s words.
“When you have it, it’s a burden. Without it, you’re lonely.”
+++
“Can you believe this guy changed the due date for that ridiculous instrument paper again? Now it’s due two weeks before!” Sungwoon threw his papers to the floor and sat next to Minhyun at the kitchen table. This was supposed to be his relaxation time. His chance to sneak in a quick game before he had to go back to class. But he was so irritated he had to sacrifice some time to rant out his frustrations.
“What paper is this?” Minhyun bookmarked his poetry book and placed it in front of him.
“The instrument one.” Minhyun stared at him with his head tilted in uncertainty. “For World Music? With Professor Do?”
“I don’t remember you telling me about it.”
“Yeah I told you! When he first assigned it and I said ‘those instruments can blow me instead’ and you said ‘I can blow-” Sungwoon abruptly cut off his sentence realizing that one, it was a very inappropriate sentence and two, it wasn’t Minhyun who had said it.
Minhyun smiled softly at him and patted his hand. “Are you sure it was me you told?”
The tips of Sungwoon’s ears heated up. It was embarrassing to admit his mistake to himself but even more so to his roommate.
“You know, never mind. I’m going to work on that paper now.” He speed-walked into their shared bedroom not bothering to pick up the topic papers he had flung to the ground minutes prior.
He set up his laptop and placed his headset over his ears with an edgy feeling settling in his stomach. When had he started confiding in Daniel more than his best friends?
This argument, fight, whatever it was that was going on between Sungwoon and Daniel had been going on far too long in Sungwoon’s opinion. It was starting to feel like a break-up and it was starting to piss Sungwoon off because they were not dating so why was Daniel acting like this? He was aware that he may have implied that if Daniel didn’t agree with him their fling would be over but he didn’t mean their friendship too. Sungwoon thought a few days- a week max- would be enough for Daniel to get over it, but obviously he miscalculated. He hadn’t even seen Daniel around lately and maybe that fell back on him for trying not to run into the younger guy. Sungwoon had been mad the day it happened but he assumed Daniel would be the first to approach him and fix the problem so he waited until he was willing to speak to him. But now Sungwoon had gotten impatient so he did what he never imagined doing and attempted to reach out to Daniel first. He purposely avoided rushing back to his dorm after classes in hopes of running into him. He hung out with their mixed group of friends more often knowing that Daniel would make an appearance eventually, and he was correct.
+++
The squad had coincidentally gathered by the dance studio waiting for the rehearsal to let out and Sungwoon found himself in a light chat with Sewoon. His body was angled to face the soundproof door of the studio in order to keep an eye out for Daniel. Seongwoo was the first familiar face he saw amongst the flood of students exiting the room so Sungwoon subtly craned his neck checking behind Seongwoo for his person of interest. He spotted Daniel’s wide frame fanning himself with his red snapback. Sungwoon hadn’t had the chance to shift his searching eyes away before he was caught in Daniel’s stare. Daniel had the look of a deer in headlights; first, surprise and then recognition flitted through his features before he dropped his gaze elsewhere as if Sungwoon had been a ghost and not the real thing. Seongwoo asked him what seemed to be a question and Daniel nodded, turning around with a short wave to their friends. Sungwoon bit the inside of his cheek, watching Daniel’s retreating back and returned to his conversation with Sewoon.
+++
Sometimes, everyone sat together for lunch. A mixture of vocalists, dancers, audio engineers, and actors all jumbled up like their bibimbap lunch boxes. Such was the case for today except it felt different. Usually, Sungwoon and Daniel would end up sitting near each other; close enough, at least, for Daniel to put extra kimchi on Sungwoon’s plate. Today, however, Sungwoon quietly chose the seat next to Woojin at the other end of the table. He couldn’t bring himself to sit next to the pink-haired dancer although he had decided to make peace with him- he just couldn’t. He would have to find another way to try to talk to him.
His chance came in the form of subtly following Daniel into the drinks area, grabbing a bottle of whatever as his pretense of being in there and rushing to pass the girl that was on her way to the cashier so he could stand behind Daniel without any obstacles. He noticed the Sprite in Daniel’s grip and said the first thing that came to mind.
“You know, Coke is better than Sprite.”
Daniel apparently hadn’t noticed him there because he turned around with a “who is talking to me” face. When he recognized it was Sungwoon he blinked a few times, paid for his soda and left without saying anything. Sungwoon stared after him, his lower lip hanging open in shame. The cashier cleared her throat and smiled at him pitifully. Sungwoon turned to her with a sour smile and paid for his unwanted Diet Dr. Pepper.
+++
All the guys had gathered on the football field for a quick scrimmage one breezy afternoon and Sungwoon had spent most of it cracking jokes and being loud to win Daniel’s attention but to no avail. Daniel looked everywhere but at him. Because he learned the hard way that Daniel was resistant to talk to him in private, he decided to address him in front of their friends where he knew Daniel wouldn’t disregard him. Again, he chose something dumb to say.
“We’re much better at this football than American football, huh, Daniel?” Sungwoon said lightheartedly, feeling everything but on the inside. Daniel responded with a civil “Yeah, right?” with a hint of a grimace.
Sungwoon thought maybe, finally, he had taken a big step forward even though it was only two short words. Even though he had to force the words out of him, it counted as breaking the ice, but when everyone looked away, Daniel’s face completely dropped, saying he needed to get his phone from the bleachers as his excuse to get the hell away from him. It was a big step, yeah- in the wrong direction.
+++
Sungwoon’s last attempt wasn’t even in person. It was a text message. He built up the nerve to ask about the quiz they were going to have next week. It was out of character for Sungwoon to ask anyone about class work much less Daniel. It was always Daniel asking him about class. Daniel really had to be dumb to not understand what Sungwoon was trying to do. But it turned out he wasn’t dumb. Maybe Sungwoon was the dumb one because the first message got left on read. The second one got an answer, though.
Daniel: can’t you ask someone else 7:43 PM
Sungwoon inhaled sharply. Bluntly put, he was shocked as well as embarrassed. This was the first time Daniel had ever treated him like that. He briefly recalled all the times when the situation had been flipped and he had been the one to answer Daniel with attitude or had left him on read. It wasn’t a good feeling, not at all.
+++
Those text messages were Sungwoon’s last attempts at communication with Daniel. He didn’t understand for the life of him why he had been compelled to keep trying when every one of his attempts failed; his pride would allow no more. He stopped trying to run into him and force awkward conversations between them, but it didn’t stop his heart from squeezing every time he spotted the taller male around campus. It didn’t stop him from getting sweaty palms when he was close enough to him and wanted to grab him and shake him and demand why they couldn’t act normal and be friends. He denied the pang in his chest and the vexed expression that would crawl onto his face when Daniel smiled and laughed with others. When he caught the shy, gentle smile he thought was only reserved for him being aimed at one of his fellow dancers.
If there was one thing Sungwoon absolutely hated, it was being ignored and shunned by people. Being ignored and shunned by Daniel, however, was on a whole other level.
Finishing his last class for the day, Jaehwan pushed through the front door of the dorm and was heading to his room when he spotted a body planted on the couch watching an afternoon drama.
“Hey grumpy, where’s your tv buddy?”
Sungwoon shrugged, eyes not leaving the screen. “I don’t know.”
Ignoring the strained atmosphere, Jaehwan tried to make his usual joke to lighten the mood.
“Aw, did you guys get into a lovers’ quarrel?”
Sungwoon’s frown deepened and his eyes bored into the guitarist’s. “Drop it. Seriously, I don’t want to talk about it.”
If curiosity killed the cat, playfulness killed the guitarist. Jaehwan’s eyebrows launched into his hairline and he backed away from the couch taking out his phone. He texted their oldest roommate wondering why there was a storm cloud in their living room before closing himself in his room.
+++
Minhyun was the next person to ask about Daniel’s whereabouts. They were penciling in quarter notes and whole notes into their staff sheets in a dimly lit booth at the café Sungwoon had started to avoid. Not wanting to make it too obvious of his discomfort, he had agreed to meet Minhyun there.
“I haven’t seen Daniel around lately, hyung. Has he been busy with his dance crew?” He may have brought it up harmlessly, but it didn’t soften Sungwoon’s irritation.
“I don’t track his every move. I don’t know.”
Minhyun was taken back by Sungwoon’s sudden attitude. He was hardly ever on the receiving end of his hyung’s temper unlike Jaehwan. He did remember Jaehwan commenting on how Sungwoon had almost ripped his head off yesterday when he asked about the dancer so he stifled his surprise and dropped the subject.
+++
It was days later when the second oldest hyung’s displeasure was stinking up the entire dorm that Jisung stepped in to mediate. He had heard from Minhyun and Jaehwan about their encounters with the moody vocalist and at first decided to give Sungwoon the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he was just having a few bad days and needed to cool off alone. But the days went by and his mood neither improved nor worsened which as a result worried Jisung. He caught Sungwoon before they went off to their respective rehearsals one day.
“Sungwoon.”
Said roommate met Jisung’s acknowledgment with a “hm.”
“Let’s talk. I haven’t heard from you in days.” Jisung sat down next to Sungwoon at the table. Sungwoon took a suspicious bite out of his buttered toast. “Everything going well for you these days, bud?”
At the attempted use of a fatherly endearment, Sungwoon sighed. “Hyung, just say what you want to say.”
Jisung lowered his head in defeat. “Alright fine. What’s with your stank attitude these past few days? We haven’t seen you and Daniel together since last week. What’s going on between you two?”
“Nothing!” Sungwoon’s voice rose with his exasperation. “There was never anything going on. We were never together and we won’t ever be.”
Jisung stared at him in bewilderment, patting himself on the back for getting some emotion out of the boy. “Whoa. Your attitude is saying something completely different. What happened?”
Sungwoon chewed the bite of toast he had in his mouth and folded his hands on the table.
“Daniel said he wanted to be in a relationship.”
“And? That shouldn’t have come as a surprise to you. What did you say?”
“…No.”
Jisung jumped back in his seat. “You told him you didn’t want to be in a relationship with him?”
“Yeah.” Sungwoon answered dryly.
“What the hell is wrong with you? Why did you do all of this if you were gonna leave him hanging like this?” Jisung couldn’t hold back his surprise. He had always thought when the time came Daniel would be able to convince Sungwoon.
“We never planned this! It was just supposed to be a stupid fling. Nothing serious.”
“Well obviously you both failed at that.”
Sungwoon looked at Jisung pissed for pointing out their failure.
“You have got to be the biggest asshole I’ve ever met. Daniel is one of the best people I know. He never had any bad intentions with you.” Jisung said shaking his head.
“I didn’t either!”
“That’s not how it looks anymore.” He sent Sungwoon the shadiest side eye he could manage.
“Why do I get blamed for him catching feelings? We agreed it was going to be casual!”
“That’s how friends with benefits works! Someone always falls in love and gets hurt. Did you really think with the way he’d been acting these past few weeks that he was someone who knew how to stay unattached? You should have seen this coming, Sungwoon.”
“Well I didn’t!” He pushed his plate of toast roughly. “And now it’s been settled and done and it’s probably for the best.”
“You’re not even going to talk to him?” Jisung asked incredulously.
“For what? We said what we needed to say. I know he doesn’t want to see or talk to me anyway.” Sungwoon crossed his arms over his chest. “And why is he the only one getting the pity party? No one is going to side with me?”
“Oh boohoo! So you don’t have someone to keep your dick warm at night. You probably broke Daniel’s heart and you still want me to feel bad for you? You’re so freaking selfish. I bet it was your idea to sneak around with him and hide him like a bad mistake, wasn’t it?”
Sungwoon pursed his lips and stayed quiet.
“See? Selfish! This is going to come around and bite you in the ass and when it does,” Jisung stood from his seat and pushed his chair in, leaning down towards Sungwoon. “Don’t come crying to me.”
+++
Sungwoon spent the remaining days of the week mostly by himself. He had too much pride to speak to Jisung again after he was scolded; didn’t want to admit that he had already started reaping the consequences of his actions. Plus, he felt bad for souring the mood in the dorm for the others. He split his time between going to class, staying late in the practice rooms, and sitting in the library with his iPad searching for articles proving that sudden moodiness was a normal and occasional happening for men in their early twenties.
He made himself believe that he was indeed not bothered by his falling out with Daniel. The lingering feelings of gloominess were due to normal school stress- not the beginning signs of heartache.
+++
Flash forward another week and Sungwoon found himself on his way out from Sewoon’s dorm on Monday morning. He and Jaehwan had opted to stay over and continue their night with competitive video games. The night prior, some vocal majors had visited their longtime favorite karaoke joint to let loose.
On a normal visit, the guys would take turns singing ballads and silently mourning their love lives (it was the manly approach to crying) while those who were fortunate enough to have someone basked in the glory of tender duets. (Cue Jaehwan and Sewoon singing Junggigo and Soyou’s Some.)
That night, Sungwoon had chosen to be part of neither one of those groups instead lowering the pitch of the microphone and channeling his inner rap God to perform his ass kicking rendition of Zico and Mino’s Okey Dokey. By the end of his last verse a cypher circle had formed and all the guys had their arms wrapped around each other bouncing to the beat of the song. The evening proceeded in a similar manner all without bottles of soju or beer to mar there night because they had various ensembles/rehearsals to attend the following morning.
Which was why Sungwoon was currently heading towards the café for his preferred drink. Although the festivities had ended late, everyone in the dorm was up early because whoever had used the speaker last had left the volume on So-Loud-You’ll-Wake-Up-the-Entire-House so when Yongguk went to turn on music to make himself breakfast the walls shook, the framed fire exit map rattled and Sungwoon half jumped to his death.
He arrived at the café earlier than usual and stood behind a few girls who were deciding on their order. The bell on the door chimed behind him and the barista greeted the new customer with a raised hand and a “Yo Daniel!” Sungwoon froze. Sometimes when he let his thoughts roam he would wonder why if they both went to this café often they still had not encountered each other. Seeing that he came at an earlier time today he realized that the other came in before him at an earlier time; to not run into him.
Sungwoon braced himself and turned around. Daniel had been texting so he hadn’t noticed Sungwoon at first but sliding his phone into his back pocket they locked eyes. A force within him promptly opened his mouth and squeezed a nervous greeting out of him.
“Hey.”
Daniel’s jaw tensed and he looked passed Sungwoon. “Hi.” He said back.
Sungwoon hesitated, still trying to read Daniel through his eyes but spoke anyway. “How are you?”
Daniel flexed his fist and failed to control his anger. “No.” He replied. “We’re not doing this.” Without looking at Sungwoon again, he turned and walked straight through the door again.
Sungwoon’s face burned and his insides twisted up. When the barista called to take his order he tried his best not to show how much that rejection stung like a bitch, ordering the most bitter coffee they had to offer him.
+++
Sungwoon woke up the next Saturday morning after a crazy night at the lot feeling more down than ever before. He crawled out of his furnace of a bed seeking comfort from his oldest friend. He found Jisung sitting at the kitchen table peeling Clementines. He sat next to him quietly, his hair smushed on one side while sticking up on the other. Jisung glanced at him briefly, hands not leaving the tiny orange he was peeling.
“May I help you?”
Sungwoon leaned his head on Jisung’s shoulder.
“I told you not to come to me when this bit you in the ass.” Jisung admonished. He tsked but took pity on Sungwoon and fed him a slice of the fruit. “I wasn’t just worried about Daniel, you know. I know you’re a stubborn guy but damn, this took a long time for you to realize. How are you feeling?”
Sungwoon took a few seconds to start up his brain and settle his barely there early morning thoughts. “Not too good.”
“Shouldn’t mix alcohol with suppressed feelings.”
“I’m not suppressing feelings.”
“Just admit it already! You miss him. You don’t have to hide it from me, Sungwoon.”
“I can’t even admit it to myself.” Jisung pursed his lips and pressed an orange slice against Sungwoon’s lips, tired of hearing the younger’s denial.
“It’s a typical case of you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. But you can still fix it if you really want. You’ll just have to try harder and you have to admit to yourself what this means. You’re not just friends.”
Sungwoon was hesitant in admitting it but he knew Jisung was right. His pride would not let him admit how big of a mistake he had made. He didn’t know how to handle the sudden heartache of a relationship he didn’t know he cared about. Sure, it all started as fun, two guys giving each other a hand every once in a while, but it turned into something else. It took Sungwoon longer to uncover it but it was there and he didn’t know how to fix it. If he could fix it at all. If he admitted to it, would anything even change?
“I’ve tried speaking to him… A few times. He doesn’t want to even look at me.” Sungwoon shrugged his shoulders. “I should just leave him alone.”
“If you don’t let go of this pride you’ll only keep hurting yourself, Sungwoon. I can’t help you if you don’t help yourself.”
Sungwoon closed his eyes and let out a deep, aggravated sigh.
When had Daniel become such a relevant factor in his life? When had he created so many bonds with the guy that everything reminded him of the other? Sungwoon tried to convince himself that it was because they turned out to be good friends. Good friends were always there to support and care for each other. But then he asked himself when was the last time Jisung, Minhyun or Jaehwan held his hand while they waited for the results of a test or kissed his forehead before parting ways for the night. Perhaps the friendship he had with Daniel wasn’t as normal and platonic as he once believed it was.
Epilogue: The Note
Another semester, another round of tipsy truth or dare connect four.
“Brooooo!” Jaehwan swayed as he flailed his arms to the beat of the song playing from Jisung’s phone.
“Keep dancing until your next turn!” Sungwoon called over the music. “Minhyun, it’s your turn.” He said softly, shaking Minhyun’s ankle.
Minhyun groaned, grabbing his head as he tried to sit up. “Bring it… closer to… me.”
Jisung brought the grid to Minhyun and offered him a red chip. Minhyun’s hand shook as he tried to drop the chip into a slot.
“Okay, now truth or dare?”
“If I say dare,” Minhyun paused and grasped his head in pain. “Never mind. Can’t… do it.”
“TRUTH!” Jaehwan’s words slipped out along with all the spit in his mouth.
“You’re disgusting. Don’t yell,” Jisung scolded.
“Truth!” Jaehwan whispered. “Admit that you like Jonghyun hyung.”
His truth had come out more as a demand than anything, but with two years of pushing Minhyun to confess, it was understsndable. Minhyun had harbored a crush on audio major Kim Jonghyun since they met in sociology and did an appearance and perceptions project with their group and Jonghyun was (surprise, surprise) group leader.
It wasn’t that Minhyun openly expressed his affection for the guy, rather the way he behaved when he was around. The cool and collected Hwang Minhyun would get nervous, often rubbing his forearm and refusing to say more than a few collected words; he would gaze longingly at the other when he wasn’t looking, the romantic side of Minhyun slipping out without him even noticing. Of course, Sungwoon and the other roommates had caught on. It was hard to miss. So every chance they got they tried to put them in close proximity- mostly for Minhyun’s sake but also for their personal amusement.
Instead of answering his truth, Minhyun, the usually always sober guy, reached for the peach flavored soju and downed a considerate amount.
“Take it easy, man. Is it that hard to admit you like him?” Taking a handful of chips from the onion ring bag, Sungwoon laughed.
“Yeah, look who’s talking.”
“You’re in no position to be making any sort of comment like that and you know it.”
A bottle cap smacked Sungwoon in the forehead and he furrowed his eyebrows and wrinkled his lips; a funny looking attempt at not snapping at either Jaehwan or Jisung.
“You’re up, cloud boy.” Jaehwan slammed the grid in front of Sungwoon tossing him a yellow chip.
Doing considerably better than lightweight Minhyun, Sungwoon blinked his vision clear and dropped his chip in the furthest slot to the left. “Dare,” He said confidently.
Jaehwan stared blankly at the black tv screen and when they all thought they had lost him to the booze, he stood, using the coffee table to balance him, and stumbled to the refrigerator. He messily ripped a chunk of sticky notes from the pack and snatched the magnetic pen they kept there and brought them back to the living room. He slammed the items down in front of Sungwoon and leaned closer to him.
“I dare you… to…” Whether he paused for dramatic effect or because he was wasted, no one knew, but it intensified the moment anyway. “Write something that has been on your mind… and… write on the back who it’s for.” Jaehwan smirked, proud of his idea, probably assuming he was going to get Sungwoon to admit to something juicy.
Sungwoon pushed Jaehwan’s sweaty hand away and took the pen as gracefully as he could. He covered the sticky note with his left hand to shield his words from curious eyes and smirked when he had finished. He ripped the sticky note from the others and held it up to Jaehwan’s face with his thumb. The note read,
Jaehwan and Sewoon are that annoying sappy couple and I wish they would stop.
Jaehwan glared at him, his plan backfiring. “You piece of shit. You’re just jealous.”
“Yeah, sure.” Sungwoon finished off the peach soju. “I definitely wished I was tied down.”
Minhyun solemnly, and drunkenly, said, “I wish I was tied down.”
They all cooed at their roommate’s drunken truth. They don’t even finish the game, opting to turn on loud music and drink themselves into a stupor. No traces of beer or soju were left besides the bottles littered on and around the coffee table. They don’t make it back to their rooms, blacking out right in the living room.
+++
Jaehwan was the first to wake the next morning. The sounds of birds singing to one another creeping into his subconscious until his eyes peeled open; his head only a few inches away from Sungwoon’s on the coffee table. He slowly lifted his aching noggin off the hard table and viewed where the other’s cheek was squished into the wood. It was then that he noticed the note half hidden by Sungwoon’s palm and used his index finger to slide it from beneath him. He curiously eyed the little yellow paper and was surprised to see how neatly it had been written despite how drunk the older must have been when he wrote it. Upon reading the words, Jaehwan’s mouth formed a small ‘o’. He eyed Sungwoon once more before pocketing the note and creeping into his bedroom not bothering to wake the others from their uncomfortable positions.