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It was a Wednesday night. 8:03 PM. 56 degrees, the moon casting a glow through the cloudy night sky. The perfect night to be outside with a nice can of beer with some good friends appreciating life. That’s why Sungwoon found himself on the couch, inside the dorm watching Running Man by himself. Already on his third beer, Sungwoon was feeling very comfortable. There was nothing wrong with alone time. He laughed hollowly as Jongkook mercilessly ripped the name tag off an unsuspecting idol group member. Poor guy didn’t even see it coming. Well that’s life, kid. It sucks! Sungwoon took a swig of his drink. His phone on the coffee table rang and he used his toes to pick it up and fling it onto his stomach refusing to make any extra movements than necessary.
“Yo.”
“Yo, lazyass! You still moping around at home?” Sungwoon peered at his old sweatpants and the television remote in his right hand before answering.
“I am not moping.”
“Yeah sure. How’s your ‘me time’ going? You bored yet?” Jaehwan mused through the phone. Sungwoon could hear the other guys yelling for him to get dressed and come down to the lot.
“Nope. Never.”
“Well if you get tired of drowning yourself in self-induced pity we’ll be out here until public safety drags our dead bodies into the ambulance.” Sungwoon laughed wholeheartedly at that. Sometimes Jaehwan was actually good at lightening the mood.
“Alright. See you guys in hell.” He was met with loud cheers before Jaehwan cut the call.
He dropped the phone to his side and exhaled. Why exactly wasn’t he out there with everyone else? He’d been pretty good with pushing those bad feelings away this past month. Everything was going well with his classes and the guys all agreed to go on that mid-semester camping trip. Hell, even the weather had been good! But today, he could just not shake off those weird vibes. Maybe that’s what I need, he thought. A night to drink myself into a coma and let Jisung hyung introduce me to one of his friends. Nodding his head, Sungwoon picked his body up from that slouch he had been sitting in and pushed his pants down his thighs in an attempt to quickly change into something that said, “I am ready to get messed up tonight” rather than “I am messed up.” While he struggled to get the pants from around his ankles, his phone lit up with a call. Blindly reaching with one hand, he answered.
“Yo! I’m coming out!” It must have been his alcohol induced brain that led him to believe that it obviously was Jaehwan calling him back and not anyone else.
“Hyung?”
Sungwoon froze. Suddenly he felt too lightheaded and was hyper aware of everything. His eyes shifted around the room before he peeled the phone from his ear and read the name of the caller.
Daniel.
Just when he thought he had rid himself of those weird vibes.
“H-Hello?” His voice caught, and he embarrassingly cleared his throat.
“Why do you sound so surprised hearing from me?” The voice on the other line questioned him. Sungwoon was baffled.
“Uh, because you never call?” Or acknowledge my existence anymore.
“I saw your note.”
“You saw what?”
“The note. The one on my door?” Daniel answered unsurely. Sungwoon looked down at the sweatpants he still had wrapped around his right ankle as if they would speak to him and explain to him why the world was messing with him today.
“Um. I didn’t leave you a note?” He heard Daniel take in a small puff of air.
“…Oh. It looks like your handwriting.”
“What does it say?”
“Um…” Daniel paused. “I still… love you. Call me.”
Sungwoon could have died right there. He did remember that note. He wrote it. Just didn’t deliver it. At that moment, he took back every nice thing he ever said about that chubby faced Jaehwan.
“Does that ring any bells?” Daniel asked him cautiously.
Should he lie and say it wasn’t him who wrote it at all or tell him that it was a bad joke played on him by bad friends?
“Um yeah. Jaehwan did it.”
“Jaehwan?”
“Yeah. W-well he put it on your door.”
A meteor could have struck the dorms; an alien spaceship from the sky could have abducted him; he could have spilled fruit punch on Jisung’s favorite shirt and gotten beaten for it- anything was better than this silence that hung between them. He doubted either one of them was even breathing.
“Sungwoon hyung.”
Ah shit. He gulped so loud he’d be surprised if Daniel didn’t hear it.
“Do you…. have feelings for me?”
And there it was. The question Sungwoon had been asking himself for weeks. For weeks, he wondered why it still bothered him that they ended things so badly when they weren’t even official. He thought this was what he wanted. He figured they wanted different things and it wouldn’t get any more serious than them hanging out and hooking up. But as time went on after they ended things he realized there was something eating away at him. For the longest, he avoided admitting what it was even when everyone around him knew what it was.
Regret.
He regretted giving up so easily. He regretted taking advantage of those good morning texts. Even the stolen goodnight forehead kisses that Daniel would give him before they parted ways that annoyed him because it was a reminder of their height difference. He regretted the hurt look on Daniels’s face when he walked away from him that day most of all.
Those weird vibes he’d been suffering from all day were a wakeup call. Hwang Minhyun, roommate extraordinaire, once said, “Be loved or choose not to be loved.” Sungwoon had stupidly chosen the incorrect option; now it was maybe time to pick the correct one.
“Hyung? Do you have feelings for me or not?”
“Hm?” Sungwoon answered, mind still in overdrive.
“Do you love me or not?!” Okay, whoa. A frustrated Daniel was not helping Sungwoon relax.
“Love is a strong word.” He uttered stupidly. He heard Daniel scoff.
“This is a joke. I shouldn’t have called.” Something in the low tremble of Daniel’s voice caused Sungwoon to react.
“Yes.”
“Wh-Yes what?”
“Yes.” A little more confidently.
“Sungwoon, say it. I want to hear you say it.”
“I...”
He hung up.
What the hell was going on?
In Sungwoon’s 23 years of life he had never been as mortified as he was at that moment. If this was what love was he didn’t want it because there he was. A Wednesday night. Now 8:21 PM. Approximately 55 degrees now. 3 empty beer cans on the coffee table. Sweatpants around his ankles. A fool in love.
He was a mess.
The phone rang in his hand seconds later. He let it ring. It rang a second time. He let it ring again. The third call he finally picked up; it was apparent that Daniel had no intention of stopping until he got what he wanted. In which case, it had always been Sungwoon since the beginning.
After a few seconds of dead air between them Daniel spoke.
“Let’s try it again. Yes what?” Who exactly was the hyung in this relationship? Apparently not Sungwoon because the authority in the younger’s voice coaxed the words right out of Sungwoon’s mouth.
Very, very softly he replied, “Yes, I have feelings for you.”
“What was that? Don’t whisper it.” In an even lower mumble the older repeated his statement.
“What? Don’t mumble it eith-.”
“I LOVE YOU DANIEL.” He roared into the phone.
The last thing Sungwoon heard from Daniel was a cocky, “Hmph. Good,” before the line went dead.
For the millionth time that evening, Sungwoon looked at his phone in disbelief before staring at the television. This entire fiasco had lasted an eternity to him but really it took no longer than half an episode of a variety show.
What the fuck? Now what?
Thankfully at that moment, a text message came in from Jaehwan and he was reminded of what he was doing before that haphazard call. He left his phone on the couch and finally removed the sweatpants from around his ankle, moving to his room to change into something more suitable for outside wear. He patted down his fluffy middle parted hair, slid his black sneakers on and made his way to the lot.
The lampposts lit up the walkways around the campus and Sungwoon admired the night time view as he briskly walked passed wide oak trees and planted hibiscuses. There weren’t many people walking about at this time probably because of the cold weather but Sungwoon found solace in being one of the few.
His face was aimed towards the royal blue sky, enjoying the stars when he saw movement out of the corner of his eye. He squinted a bit attempting to identify the person running in his direction. He recognized the silhouette before clearly seeing the face that haunted him night and day. Of all the people to run into on this campus, it just had to be him precisely at that moment.
Acting on impulse (and thanking God for giving Daniel bad eyesight), Sungwoon tugged the hood of his thin hoody over his head and quickly kneeled down to “tie his shoe” making sure to keep his head down, tucked close to his body. Daniel jogged passed him and Sungwoon waited a few seconds until the heavy footfalls were a decent distance away before peering over his shoulder. He watched Daniel jog down the same path he had just come from and watched him take a right turn heading straight to Sungwoon’s dorm. His eyes widened knowing that Daniel was on his way to find him. He stood up and booked it to the lot.
Panic started to set in. Sungwoon was all confident on the phone where he didn’t have to actually see the guy and his confession just rolled out but the thought of having to face Daniel and say it made him want to drink himself into a coma. He hadn’t thought Daniel would act on it so quickly. It had been about a month and a half of not speaking to one another so he thought they would approach the subject gradually. As much as Sungwoon would have loved for the problem to just disappear so he didn’t have to deal with it, a small part of him wanted him to address it. Like he had said on the phone, he did have feelings for Daniel. In the past six weeks, they’d turned into even stronger feelings. The type of strong feelings that coerced you into acting out of character; the type that scared you.
Which was why Sungwoon was panicking, and grabbing the first beverage that was passed to him upon finding his friends at the lot. He tried to act normal when he greeted everyone and gulped down his drink, savoring the fruity taste that he was sure was mixed with rum. Instead of fighting off Jaehwan’s jokes about his self-induced pity party, he just laughed right along with him. He attempted to blend in with the group using his height to his advantage and kept an eye out for Daniel. Sungwoon’s anxiety, had they been inside a room, would have been through the roof. He wasn’t drunk yet, more tipsy than anything, but his words were echoing in his brain.
I love you Daniel
Love was a strong word. It wasn’t the correct word to use. What he felt for Daniel was a strong like and he was sure the L word had been thrown in there in the heat of the moment. He made a mental note to filter that word out of his vocabulary until further notice.
Eventually, when Sungwoon was finishing off his bottle, Daniel made an appearance. Of course he would, it was only a matter of time yet it still startled Sungwoon. The drink had barely made it into his mouth before he was gasping, and the juice was sucked down his throat, choking him along the way. His coughs were coming out rough and strangled and he tried to stifle them to stop himself from making more noise but then his eyes were tearing up and his vision was getting blurry and he was sure he saw a big, tall body standing a few feet away. He tried to duck behind everyone, tucking his head into his shoulders to make himself smaller, but the coughs were still attacking him and he couldn’t quiet down. Just as the first words of a question were forming on Daniel’s lips, Kenta asked, “Sungwoonie hyung! Are you alright?” And all eyes landed on Sungwoon who was still trying to conceal himself with Youngmin’s back. He knew the tips of his ears were red but he smiled nervously and raised a thumb at everyone. His eyes briefly met Daniel’s inquisitive stare and that was enough for him to turn away with the excuse of finding water, ignoring Minhyun’s “But I have a water bottle in my hand.” He wandered away, weaving between cars in hopes that Daniel wouldn’t follow him.
“Hyung!”
Sungwoon increased his speed, shaking the bottle in his hand to try to control his nerves but the footsteps behind him got closer. Daniel caught him by the elbow and he was forced to stop. Daniel rounded him, grip still on Sungwoon’s elbow and stood in front of him.
“Are you trying to run away from me?” It was a mistake. It was a mistake to look up into Daniel’s stricken eyes and see the hurt expression crossing his features. Sungwoon slumped over in defeat knowing that he was weak for the younger’s sad face and didn’t want to hurt him anymore. He was the source of every one of Kang Daniel’s problems and he was not proud of it.
He closed his eyes and shook his head slowly.
“Can we talk?”
Sungwoon nodded his head, unable to find his words because he was a little drunk, a bit embarrassed and a lot nervous. Daniel led them away from the lot, moving in between the cars and checking behind him to make sure Sungwoon was still behind him. The voices and music were faint now as they approached a dirt path south of the parking lot.
“Your hair is brown.”
“Your hair is brown.”
They looked at one another, and turned away shyly when their eyes met. It was weird. They had barely seen each other much less spoken to one another in person in over a month. Sungwoon got used to stifling his questions when Jisung would come back from visiting Daniel and eventually he stopped wondering how the other was doing in general; assuming the younger was living well without him- maybe even better.
Sungwoon really had no idea how to progress the conversation passed small talk so he continued.
“How’ve you been?” He said to the thick trunk of a passing tree.
“Did you mean what you said in that note?”
Wow. Daniel wasted no time in getting to the point. Sungwoon’s eyes widened and he blinked a few times. He hadn’t had time to come up with a proper answer to that sudden question. (He did, but he had chosen to avoid acknowledging the entire phone call and use his friends as shields.)
“Uh,” He could feel Daniel’s eyes rest on him for a second before looking away as if looking at him hurt his eyes. He took a swig from his bottle. It’s not like he didn’t already admit to his feelings through the phone, but it was more challenging to say them out loud to Daniel in person because he hadn’t had the courage to admit it to himself.
He tried to put himself in the other’s shoes. Here was Daniel: standing again before the brute that emotionally assaulted him, once more putting his heart on the line. Another person perhaps would have punched Sungwoon in the face and tossed their drink (peach or otherwise) at him for what he did. Another person would have ignored the note or told him to get lost because they found someone better and more deserving of their devotion. But Daniel did neither of those things. Sungwoon thought the least he could do for him was be honest.
“Yes,” He answered clearly. “Yes, I do have feelings for you. Yes, I feel like a large piece of shit for not seeing it before.”
Daniel tied his arms behind his back and nodded his head slowly. “Would you have said anything if Jaehwan hadn’t given me the note?”
Sungwoon inhaled deeply. “I don’t think so.” He glanced at Daniel who said nothing back and worrying that he might have messed up his chance, tried to babble out an explanation. “I mean I think I just accepted that you were mad at me. It’s what I deserved…” He paused. “I would have understood if you never wanted to see me again.”
Daniel pinched his eyes closed. “You would have just assumed all of that instead of just talking to me?” He stopped walking and they stood in the middle of a grassy, barren field. “You didn’t think that those were the exact words I wanted to hear?”
Sungwoon stood there with a troubled expression. Daniel scratched the tufts of hair at the base of his neck.
“Can we sit?” Daniel nodded, and they lowered themselves to the ground sitting side by side with enough distance in-between.
“I felt cornered.” Sungwoon began. If he lost out on this opportunity to explain himself he really would have no one else to blame but himself. “You started acting jealous and it turned me off. Then you said you wanted to be with me that day and I really felt like I was on a different page than you. But not seeing you and having you around afterwards… it affected me. I didn’t realize how much you meant to me until I was going crazy wondering what was missing. I took advantage of having you around. I know that now.”
“Hyung, I can’t even lie. You… messed me up. Bad.” Daniel swallowed. “I know we agreed that it wasn’t going to be more than messing around but I saw you as more than that eventually. And you implying that you were seeing other people really…”
“I wasn’t!”
“Well, you could have said that then.” Daniel’s voice turned slightly accusatory. “But you didn’t. You let me believe it. Because you knew it would hurt and you could use that to push me away.”
Daniel’s words were swords to Sungwoon’s heart. He was used to being the honest one and using his words against others; he was not used to having them used against him. The worst part was that everything Daniel was saying was true.
“You didn’t even try to apologize.” Daniel continued.
“I tried to talk to you! Every time I got close to you you acted like I was the biggest bother in the world and you couldn’t stand to be next to me.”
“I didn’t want to stand next to you. I was angry, hyung.”
“That’s why I tried to give you some time to cool off, but that turned into a week.”
“What? Were you expecting me to come to you? I was not the one in the wrong! Why would I come to you first?”
“I wasn’t completely in the wrong either!”
“You’re so selfish! Fine, I’ll admit it was partially my fault for breaking the agreement, but you didn’t have to treat me like that. Like what I was feeling was absurd. Like it was unheard of for someone to fall for their friend.” Daniel exhaled and bit the inside of his cheek. “I didn’t want to talk to you because every time you approached me you didn’t seem serious. It didn’t feel genuine. It sounded like you were assuming I would let everything slide without addressing what happened and just go back to being friends. Or whatever we were.” He dropped his hand to his thigh with a slap. “If you had approached me sincerely maybe things would have been different. Hyung, you have to understand. I may not have been that important to you, but you were important to me.”
Sungwoon tried not to focus on the “you were” part of that sentence.
“Daniel. You are important to me. Didn’t you hear what I said earlier?” Sungwoon repositioned himself and took a deep breath. “I didn’t know I was coming off like that. I’m… sorry. I wasn’t- I’m not-” Sungwoon sighed, frustrated. “I’ve never had to chase after someone like that. Not a friend nor significant other. But you… I couldn’t stop. There was something in me that just kept pushing me to talk to you and I felt like the biggest idiot because no matter the situation I always said something stupid. It’s not because I was trying to make light of the situation. I was just… nervous. I didn’t mean to push you away even more.”
“Well you did an excellent job of doing just that.”
Sungwoon stared into the side of Daniel’s stern face. He had thought Daniel calling him earlier had been a sign that things were going to get better for them; but the tense atmosphere made Sungwoon wonder if Daniel only came out to make him suffer. To make him feel the same pain that he had felt. To let him know that he didn’t want Sungwoon anymore. That he was too late.
And that scared Sungwoon.
They sat in silence for a while. The crickets and cicadas chirping around them. The chilly breeze bringing them goosebumps. Sungwoon wanted to speak, wanted to say anything, but he felt he was in no position to. The longer the silence went on, the more Sungwoon blinked and shifted his eyes trying to keep his eyes dry. Sungwoon was no crybaby, but it had been a long time since he wanted something so bad- wanted someone. Daniel certainly wasn’t making it easy for him. It didn’t help that the cold was getting to him and his nose was starting to drip. He tried to sniff quietly and wipe his nose with his knuckle unnoticeably, but a shiver ripped through his body at the same time. He heard a sigh and the sound of a zipper before a jacket was placed around his shoulders.
“You make me so mad, hyung. You frustrate me. You tire me. You’re a jerk.” Daniel side-eyed him. “But you always get what you want.” He finished tiredly.
Sungwoon’s head was spinning. He watched his friends frolicking in the lot and questioned why he had made this so hard for himself. He laid back onto the grass and closed his eyes.
“I want to be with you.” His voice came out croaky with emotion. He hit the ground with his bottle. “I don’t want to feel like shit anymore.”
“How much have you had to drink?”
“I’m serious, Daniel. I was serious when I wrote the note, I was serious when I told you on the phone and I’m serious now. I didn’t want anything before. Then I realized I didn’t want anyone but you. I don’t want you with other people. I want you with me.”
Honestly, without the alcoholic influence Sungwoon probably wouldn’t have said all of that without stumbling over his thoughts. It was brash of him, but it needed to be said regardless. He opened his eyes and watched Daniel stare off into the woods.
“Look, if you see me tomorrow and you still feel the same, let’s talk.”
“Why not now?” Sungwoon said stubbornly, sitting up and facing Daniel directly.
“Because I want this, hyung. I’ve always wanted you.” He squeezed his eyes together, scrunching up his face in pain.” If you don’t mean any of this and tomorrow you wake up and tell me it was a mistake, I will never speak to you again and any chance of reconciliation is over.”
Sungwoon took in the fragile state of Daniel’s voice and knew he couldn’t hurt him anymore. He took in the view that he had missed for weeks; memorizing Daniel’s sad eyes, haunting frown, and stiff shoulders, promising to never let those expressions be seen again.
With a steady gaze, he answered, “Okay.”
+++
It was already night time once again when Sungwoon texted Daniel the next day. Choosing not to rush anything, he let them both go on with their usual day; attending classes and rehearsals, eating meals with their friends. The minute Sungwoon had woken up that morning his head was surprisingly clear. He felt no remorse or panic. He was eerily calm as if the night before had brought him an epiphany.
Sungwoon sat in the same field from the night prior and waited. The air was fresh, the temperature cool and the stars lit up the sky.
“Hi,” Daniel’s voice came like a whisper in the wind.
Sungwoon’s smile was laced with hope when he returned the greeting. Daniel rubbed his hands together and licked his lips nervously before sitting down on the grass.
“It’s tomorrow.” Sungwoon spoke up first.
“Yeah.”
Sungwoon looked at Daniel with a heavy gaze, willing him to look back at him so he could say his next words.
“I don’t regret anything I said.”
“No?”
“Nope.”
Daniel took a deep breath and laid down on the grass. Sungwoon followed him and they stared at the stars quietly. Neither one of them said anything, their heightened, nervous breaths falling in sync.
“So.” Daniel paused. “Are we,” He paused again trying to find the right words he wanted to say. “Going to give us a shot?”
Without a second thought, Sungwoon nodded his head and replied. “Yes.”
Daniel nibbled at his bottom lip. “You can’t push me away anymore.”
“I know.”
“And there won’t be anything secret about it.”
“No. No more hiding.”
Daniel nodded his head quietly, taking it all in.
“Are we exclusive now?” A little teasing but genuinely curious.
Sungwoon cringed at his haunting memories of that word but grinned anyway. “Yes.”
“Okay.” Daniel whispered, a hesitant but bright smile etched itself onto his face.
Silence enveloped them the next few minutes, enough for them to absorb their freshly made decision.
“Daniel, I’m really sorry I hurt you. I was being honest when I said I got into this not wanting anything. And at that time, I wasn’t ready to commit to anything. It came off as if I didn’t care about you, but I did. And when you asked if I was seeing anyone? I wasn’t. Nor did I want to. I guess I was… oddly committed to you in that way.” Sungwoon shook his head in realization, chuckling to himself. “I’m not the genius I say I am after all.” Daniel breathed out a laugh at that.
“I’m sorry if I came off too strong. Even I knew I was acting weird, but I couldn’t control myself. I was acting, what did you say again? Oh. Bitchy.”
Sungwoon cringed again. “Sorry.”
“No, I was. You were right. I had no right to act like that.” His last words came out quieter than the rest.
“Hey,” Sungwoon called and faced the other. Daniel turned to him. “Don’t be sad anymore.”
Daniel shut his eyes and rested his face on the soft grass. “I won’t.”
Sungwoon watched his lover- because that’s what he was and had always been- and took in his messy light brown hair, the tiny mole by his eye and the lips he had missed. He sat up and leaned over Daniel, their eyes connecting once the younger opened them.
“I really want to kiss you.”
And Daniel didn’t stop him, so he did; lips tingling and cheeks warm.
+++
To say things went back to normal quickly would be a lie. The following few days were a bit awkward. They weren’t just friends, or friends with benefits; they were an exclusive couple in a serious relationship. The transition would have been a lot easier had they not killed a month and a half ignoring each other. Now they were adapting to having each other back in their lives and catching up on all the small things they had missed. After the kiss in the field that day they didn’t do more than the occasional hand holding; opting to take it slow unlike before. Sungwoon became more cautious and aware of how he behaved with Daniel. He really wanted to be good to him and treat him well. Uncovering his deeper feelings for the younger also brought out Sungwoon’s nervousness. If before he didn’t care what Daniel thought about him, now he did. On the other hand, Daniel was learning to say what was on his mind. He no longer let Sungwoon get away with everything (only sometimes). They also didn’t bring up the L word, agreeing that although they had strong feelings for one another, it was way too soon to be exchanging those words. They hit the restart button on their relationship that night in the field and although a tad scary, it was worth it.
+++
“Hey.” Daniel paused in the middle of his dance move and turned his head to Sungwoon who was sitting at the picnic table outside of the café. “Do you want to watch Fight My Way?”
“From the beginning?” Daniel sat down next to him with a smile.
Sungwoon nodded coolly, collecting his lyrics sheets that were spread across the table. Daniel bumped his shoulder lightly into Sungwoon’s.
“You missed watching with me, didn’t you?” He leaned in close, bumping his nose into Sungwoon’s cheek.
“Not really. I just want to watch it again.” He tried to fight it, but a smile snuck onto his face.
Sungwoon stood up, putting his book bag on and Daniel did the same. They walked to Sungwoon’s dorm; Sungwoon sliding his fingers between the gaps of Daniel’s fingers as if he wasn’t the one long ago who used to pull his hand away when the dancer would reach for it. They got to the front door and Sungwoon stood in front of it hesitantly. He hadn’t told his roommates about him and Daniel yet, but he guessed there was no better time than then. He opened the door slowly and peeked inside finding Jisung and Minhyun in the natural habitat: at the kitchen table.
“Um. I brought a guest.” Sungwoon walked in, revealing Daniel and their interlaced hands.
The matching parental smiles on both Jisung and Minhyun’s faces would have been annoying if Sungwoon himself weren’t proud of who he was bringing home. Sungwoon and Daniel looked at each other shyly and then at Jisung.
“Well welcome back,” He greeted, coming over to hug them. On his way around the table, however, he smashed his toe into the table leg, knocking Minhyun’s water bottle over his textbooks. Jisung squawked in pain holding his foot while Minhyun frantically tried to save his books. It was all so chaotically normal it helped dilute the awkwardness in the room. The couple jumped into action, one attending to Jisung’s toe and the other mopping up the water.
Later, when the living room couch was once again rightfully claimed, Daniel wrapped his arm around Sungwoon. Sungwoon froze, his first instinct being to push him away, but he caught himself, remembering that those days of sneaking around were over and that Daniel wasn’t his secret lover anymore. He scooted closer into Daniel’s side and leaned his head on his shoulder. Daniel kissed his temple and Sungwoon sighed happily.
Yeah, this is it.