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For the second time, Jedao was assigned to work with Haval and Teshet. At least the mission would probably be easier, and involve less genetic warfare.
“Good to see you again, Jedao,” Teshet said, with an unsubtle grin. “It’s going to be just the three of us in the Wheel of Shattered Storms.”
“What?” Nothing ever happened in that part of space, unless you were a star. And if you were a star, whatever happened, happened very slowly in a stellar nursery.
“Something is disrupting the calendar of a mining outfit. The Vidona have already taken care of the miners, but they can’t reestablish the calendar until the heretical element is cleared out,” Haval said. “Our handling of the Gwa Reality impressed Kel Command, so apparently all the weirdness falls to us now. The Nirai think that the heresy might be coming from a warmoth that disappeared into the Wheel thirty years ago. I’ll handle the search, then you two get the privilege of exploring the thing.”
“Why’d Kel Command leave a warmoth behind?” Jedao asked.
“We don’t actually know,” Teshet said. “Someone high up concealed the warmoth. It was only the investigation done after the miners turned heretic that drew attention to the missing data. The Nirai were able to give us rough coordinates based on the calendrical drift.”
“So, we’ve got traitors to worry about too,” Haval added. “And if you fuck this up, you’ll bring the inquisitors down on us.”
“Great. I wondered what the Kel would start doing with me when battles grew thin,” Jedao said.
“I’m sure it’s just a temporary break,” Teshet replied. “You’ll be back to killing people on a grand scale in no time.”
Working with Teshet again wasn’t as awkward as Jedao had feared. Teshet was still good-looking and knew it, but there wasn’t lubricant of any kind on the voidmoth. Though there were definitely things they could have done without it, the voidmoth also lacked private cabins. That left them with the shower, which was cramped.
The abandoned warmoth was found after only two days of searching. It was in a slow orbit around a natural satellite, and according to scans, still in operation. Haval brought their voidmoth alongside it instead of docking; Jedao and Teshet would be entering in space suits, though sensors indicated that the air was breathable. Being near the warmoth made his mouth taste of metal and his brain felt like it was being coated in fuzz.
“Haval, is that thing poisoning us?” Jedao asked.
“It’s some sort of heretical calendar effect. You probably won’t die. Alright, you two: get in the warmoth and eliminate whatever’s disrupting the calendar.”
Jedao didn’t like the added bulk of the suits—it made him feel like he was in one of those survival horror serials, and a horrible monster was going to rip a hole in it at any moment.
“If you die,” Teshet asked, “can I have your Patterner 52?”
“No, it’s going to my mother.”
“I like her. The goose fat was really thoughtful.”
Jedao regretted that the suit was blocking Teshet from seeing his expression, because it was a good one.
They had an easy transfer from the voidmoth’s airlock to the heretical warmoth, and the taste of metal grew stronger. It must be something originating from the calendrical rot, rather than the air, but that didn’t make it less unsettling. The ordinary-looking airlock went through a purification cycle, and then the inner door opened.
The warmoth had been colonized by spider webs. They hung down from the ceilings, obscured the corners, and blocked any clear path to the command deck. Teshet let out a long whistle.
“How big do you think that a spider has to be to make all that webbing?” said Teshet.
“Bigger than we’re going to think about,” Jedao replied.
Jedao saw no sign of the spiders themselves, but he’d already broken into a sweat.
“I’m arachnophobic,” Jedao confessed, resting his hand on his gun. “Hope you’re not.”
Teshet shook his head. “I’m going to see what kind of spiders these are before we hack our way through.” He yanked on the nearest strand of web, which was as thick as his fingers. “They locate trapped prey through vibrations.”
Jedao saw a dark shape scuttling towards Teshet. He fired on reflex, but it was moving too fast for a single shot to land.
“Huh, they’re dog-sized,” Teshet observed. “Jedao? Are you alright?”
Jedao mumbled that he was fine, even as the floor seemed to be getting closer. Teshet caught him and pulled him into a sitting position on the floor. Jedao couldn’t get that skittering mass out of his head, all the legs and the fat, bouncing belly.
“Breathe in and out, slowly,” Teshet told him, squeezing his arm. “You’re fine. No spiders anywhere near us.”
“I can’t breathe,” Jedao replied, clumsily yanking off his helmet. The air was stale, overlain with a strange scent that was probably dog-sized spider shit.
“You shouldn’t have done that. But fine, I’ll join you.” Teshet took off his helmet and wrinkled his nose at the smell.
“We’re definitely dead now. Anyone who takes their helmet off in a horror serial dies.”
Teshet sighed and started to soothingly rub the back of Jedao’s neck. Jedao would have been irritated by the coddling, except he was still thinking of dozens of eyes and projectile hair, and the attention felt good. “Spiders aren’t aggressive,” said Teshet, “and besides the size, these look pretty normal. They’ll probably hide while we cut our way through.”
“Why do you know so much about spiders?”
“I grew up on a rainforest planet. You couldn’t go outside without a spider the size of your hand waving at you with eight legs.”
Jedao wanted to scream. “I’m never visiting your planet.”
“That’s a shame. My mothers would love to meet someone with your combat record.”
Teshet leaned in to kiss him, gently pressing their lips together. Better memories kicked in of exactly how they had fraternized away the voidmoth’s water, and for a few moments, everything in Jedao’s head had exactly the right amount of legs (two) and well-toned thighs that looked great kneeling on the shower floor. Jedao deepened the kiss, enjoying how easily Teshet went along with everything, letting Jedao push him down and try his best to grope Teshet’s crotch through a space suit. Oh fuck they were still surrounded by giant spiders.
“Come on,” Teshet said, grinning as Jedao suddenly sat up and scanned the room for spiders. Teshet helped Jedao get up and stood in front of him. “Put your back up against mine while I clear a path. It’ll give us a full view of any creepy-crawlies.”
“You can’t tell anyone about this.”
“I can’t tell anyone about most of what I do,” Teshet replied with a shrug. “You know what I get to share with people? The porn I watch.”
“Is any of it worth talking about?”
“No, and that’s why I can count my friends on one hand.”
Resting his free hand on Teshet’s hip, Jedao pointed his gun at whatever corner looked the most suspicious while Teshet used a knife to hack at the webbing. It felt like they would be in spider-misery forever, but they finally got to a corridor that was blissfully free of cobwebs.
“Do you need a quickie to calm down? I’m game,” Teshet said.
“I’m fine. Let’s get this over with.”
“And then sex?”
Jedao started walking quickly up the corridor. Teshet had the height to easily keep up with him. “Are you like this with everyone?” Jedao asked.
“Actually, no. The drawl is really sexy.”
That was something Jedao wouldn’t think about until they were a few lightyears away from any spiders larger than his palm. Ideally, his thumbnail, and also nowhere that he could see them.
The voidmoth was eerily quiet. They had to be close to the command deck by now, even if the voidmoth’s interior had been rearranged. Teshet wasn’t joking anymore, just keeping his eyes on the walls and listening for signs of life.
Teshet put his hand on Jedao’s chest, bringing him to a stop. “Do you hear that?”
At first, Jedao heard nothing. Then, he made out a faint fluttering sound, like wingbeats. Spiders, even hideously overgrown ones, didn’t have wings. Hopefully. They started walking faster.
A giant moth flew into Teshet, knocking him down. It was just as big as he was, clawing at him with its legs and frantically beating its wings. Only the fear of accidentally hitting Teshet kept Jedao from blowing its fuzzy head off.
“Don’t shoot it!” Teshet shouted, wrestling with the thing. “It can’t hurt me—most moths don’t have mouths!”
Jedao kept his finger on the Patterner’s trigger. He almost had a perfect lock on the moth, if Teshet would stop flailing for a moment. “How do you know all this?”
“I really like bugs!”
Rhi Teshet, pornography and invertebrate enthusiast. “So are you having the time of your life right now, or should I start shooting?”
“Time of my life!”
If giant moths worked the same way as regular moths, maybe Jedao could lure it away. Jedao took out his flashlight and shined it at a distant wall, making it bob as if he were playing with a cat. Did moths actually use their eyes, or were they attracted to warmth? But the moth went for it. Jedao made the light disappear down the corridor, luring the insect away, while Teshet got back on his feet, his face and suit covered in moth powder.
“I’m going to let you know right now that if we encounter giant cockroaches, I will react even worse than you did to the spiders,” Teshet said, wiping bits of moth off his face.
“I can handle giant cockroaches. Let’s hurry up before any find us.”
The command deck had been sealed off, but only with a clumsy locking system that Jedao disabled by ripping some wires out. With a hiss and click of neglected gears, the door opened.
Inside, an old woman sat in the commander’s chair, wearing the white and gold of the Liozh. The colors were faded, as worn out as the woman’s expression. The air was at its stalest here, and Jedao wondered how she could stand it. Dust had covered every surface.
“Hello,” she said, wringing her hands. “Have you come to arrest me?”
“We have,” Jedao replied. “You’re a heretic.”
“Mm. Yes.” She only made eye contact with Jedao, ignoring Teshet. “Tell me, how far has the calendrical rot traveled?”
“It reached Gritted Star Mine. Everyone was remitted to the Vidona.”
“That’s a shame. This was a limited experiment, you know, on the effects of calendrical adjustment on non-sentient animals.” The woman looked down at her hands, turning them palms-up. “But it got out of control, and what reason do I have to do return? All my fellow Liozh are dead.”
Jedao’s puzzlement was mirrored by Teshet. “What? Nothing’s happened to the Liozh.”
“Oh my. I’ve slipped out of time, too. The calendar’s weaker than I could have ever guessed. Or maybe I’m wrong, merely insane. Are you mad yet, Shuos Jedao?”
“We’re bringing you back to be questioned by the Rahal,” Teshet said.
“No, you can’t.” The Liozh reached down for a gun and began to aim it towards her head. Jedao blew her hand off.
“No, no,” the Liozh mumbled, looking down at her bleeding stump. “I can still die, just give me a moment—” She stumbled to her feet and groped around the warmoth’s navigation grid. Teshet rushed to restrain her, putting some wound sealant on her arm. The old woman didn’t fight back, but she looked at Jedao as if he’d personally betrayed her.
‘Tell us how to shut down the calendrical rot,” Teshet demanded.
“Activate the self-destruct. I forgot how I set things up.” She went limp.
They had to contact Haval to get help with the self-destruct. The warmoth was old, and both of them were more familiar with using ordnance to destroy a ship than the actual controls. Haval talked them through it while the Liozh hummed to herself. No moths or spiders appeared on their way out, and Haval was able to do a proper dock so they wouldn’t have to make an extra trip to suit up their prisoner.
“Welcome to the present,” Haval told the woman as they got into the voidmoth.
“Please shoot me,” she replied.
“Can’t,” Teshet said. “We don’t want the wolves on our backs either.”
It was hard to restrain a person missing a hand, but Teshet managed to secure her to a chair with some cable. The next few days would be an extremely awkward ride. As Teshet and Haval started on their report to the Kel, Jedao took a seat near the Liozh.
“What do you think happened to the Liozh?” he asked.
“Democracy. A very dangerous heresy, don’t you agree?”
“And what happened to me?”
The Liozh smiled, then whispered in Jedao’s ear.
“I don’t believe you,” Jedao said, feeling a chill down his spine. She was just trying to get back at him for leaving her alive. She was a madwoman who’d spent thirty years with no company but overgrown insects.
But then, how had she known his name?