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For the first sixteen years of his life, Akira Kurusu hadn't been afraid of needles.
Getting a shot was hardly his most favorite thing to do, of course. But it didn't fill him with dread the way it did some people. A quick prick, a little pinch – that was really all there was to it. Compared to all the things that could hurt a person much, much worse, a needle seemed like a silly thing to fear.
So then why, when the doctor told him he'd be getting a shot of antibiotic, did his skin suddenly feel clammy, his heart rate spiking and his whole body locking up, prepared to protect himself?
He'd been sick the last few days, and finally his fever and back pain had concerned Goro enough to demand he go to a doctor. That was what led to the two of them sitting in an exam room in a clinic near their apartment – Akira had wanted to go to Takemi, but Goro had insisted there was no reason to go all the way to Yongen-Jaya for what was probably a bug, especially as cold as it was – Akira up on the cold exam table and Goro in the extra chair, sitting as primly as usual with his legs crossed. The doctor had given him the once over and taken a urine sample. A mild infection was the diagnosis, nothing to be too concerned with, but they would give Akira a shot along with his prescription to jumpstart the healing process.
“We'll have you back on your feet in no time, Kurusu-san,” the doctor said cheerfully through the growing ringing in Akira's ears, then he'd nodded at the nurse and taken his leave.
“I'll be back in a moment,” said the nurse, and Akira could only give a small jerk of his head to let her know she'd heard him. The door clicked behind her, and Akira let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.
“Are you alright?” asked Goro immediately, and Akira couldn't help but grin, just a little. Of course Goro would notice his slight changes in demeanor. He stood up, the heels of his boots giving two clicks as he stepped over to the table. “You're shaking.”
“I am?” Akira raised a hand, looking at it curiously. “What do you know...”
“Do you feel worse?” Goro bent over a little to look straight into Akira's eyes, his face all hard edges the way it was whenever he expected the full truth, and Akira had never felt less grateful that Goro felt he could drop his pleasant mask when the two of them were alone. “You told the doctor everything, right?”
“Yeah.” His grin widened, and he tilted his head a little, doing his best to look as cocky as possible. If he could irritate Goro enough, he'd stop worrying. “It's just too cold in this room. Do something to warm me up?”
Goro's brow furrowed, and he hardly seemed convinced; Akira had the sinking suspicion that his own mask had fallen too much, and Goro had caught on, but before he could come up with anything else to say, the nurse reentered, and his boyfriend quickly stepped back and returned to the chair.
“Alright then, Kurusu-san,” said the nurse, moving briskly around the room as she gathered cotton swabs and put on gloves. “Just a few more minutes and you can go home and get some rest.”
“Mm,” hummed Akira, letting his eyes wander to opposite wall. He didn't want to look when she brought the needle over. Just thinking about it made his stomach churn with nausea.
Unfortunately, the nurse couldn't seem to read the atmosphere, and when she came over, she waved the syringe in his line of sight to get his attention. Akira's focus snapped to it, and as she moved it around, it was all he could look at. His eyes trained to the point of the needle as she moved it to his arm.
She was saying something, but he couldn't understand the words. The cold metal of the chair stung his hands where he leaned on them – chair? Had he been sitting in a chair? The men put restraints on his hands, he couldn't move anywhere, he tried to struggle and they hit him, blood in his mouth, blood down his throat, they brandish the needle at him again, “You're going to tell us everything,” they say, and they inject-
thoughts racing, too fast, everything hazy, they ask for his name, a boot on his leg so hard he thinks it will break, he can't think at all, he dips in and out of darkness, it burns, I'm going to die
- kira!? Akira!?
Gradually, the exam room swam back into view – each blink made it a bit clearer. Goro was leaned over him, looking more worried than Akira had seen him in a long time, an arm on either side as though trying to protect him. The nurse was to his side, watching him in shock.
It was Goro who called his name. When he saw understanding return to Akira's eyes, he sighed, reaching up one hand and running it through Akira's hair. “You blacked out,” he said to a question Akira didn't ask, and when his fingers stopped to rest on his head, Akira realized he was shaking again.
“Are you alright, Kurusu-san?” asked the nurse, trying to recover her chipper tone. “You saw the needle and your eyes rolled right up into your head.”
“Sorry,” Akira replied lamely. Realizing he'd fallen back onto the table, he started struggling to sit up, though it was difficult when Goro didn't seem ready to move off him.
The nurse giggled. “Aren't you a bit old to be afraid of a little shot, Kurusu-san?”
She was only trying to be playful and laugh off what had just happened, but Goro's expression became dangerous, and he turned his head to glare at the nurse so venomously she took two steps away from the table, holding up her arms as though shielding herself from blows.
“Shut the hell up,” snapped Goro, his voice low and demanding, a tone Akira hadn't heard in awhile either. “You don't know anything.”
The nurse froze in her tracks. For a moment, the room was silent, then she cried out, “I'm sorry!” and bent into a bow. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean-”
“You didn't mean what?” Goro stood, turning slowly from Akira toward the nurse. “You didn't mean to make some insensitive joke when he's clearly-”
“Akechi.”
Goro's shoulders jerked at the sound of his name, and he turned back to look at Akira. Akira had made it the rest of the way up, eyes on Goro through his glasses.
“She didn't mean anything. It's alright.” He looked past Goro then, to the nurse, who was looking up at the two of them fearfully, syringe still clutched in her hand. “Sorry. Some things happened, and... now I have a needle phobia.” He smiled reassuringly, and the nurse seemed to relax a bit, though she still eyed Goro warily. “Akechi was just being overly protective,” he added, and Goro finally backed down, stepping back from the table.
“I'm very sorry,” he said, and the pleasant mask slid so easily back onto his features, the nurse looked almost confused. “I got a little carried away. When Kurusu passed out like that, I just...” The way he was able to look so convincingly contrite, looking down at his hands with a pained expression, was as impressive as it was frightening. “Please, continue.”
The nurse looked between them one more time, then came slowly to the side of the exam table once again. This time, she didn't wave the needle in front of Akira's face, or get it anywhere near him yet. She hesitated, and in that time, Goro slid up next to Akira once again, reaching out and taking his hand.
“Just pay attention to me, alright?” he said softly, and Akira's attention shifted from the nurse to the face of his boyfriend, smiling at him in a kind way that wasn't his mask anymore. This was his true smile; one he reserved for Akira himself. One that wasn't meant to be seen by anyone else, so hopefully the nurse wouldn't look.
“Are you trying to distract me, Akechi-kun?” Akira asked, grinning at the way the honorific made Goro huff through his nose, half annoyed and half amused.
“After we get home, how about we watch that movie that Sakamoto-san lent you?”
“You want to watch a sports documentary?”
Goro grimaced. “I forgot your friend has such... unfortunate taste in media.”
“They aren't that bad, you know.”
“I suppose they are educational, but I'd really rather spend my time learning about something else.”
Akira felt the cold press of a swab on his skin, but he kept his attention focused on Goro. “You want to watch something like that while I'm sick?”
Another one of those huffs. Goro folds his arms. “Be serious. There's been a documentary on the history of DNA's importance to forensics that I've been wanting to watch...”
“You're such a boring nerd.” Akira grinned, and Goro gave a wry chuckle.
“Then what does that make you for living with me?”
“Lucky.”
Akira was so amused by the involuntary blush that spread up Goro's face, he barely noticed what was happening to his arm until the nurse said cheerfully, “There. All done.”
She stuck a bandage on his arm, then handed Akira a prescription, which he passed to Goro so it wouldn't get lost. Before they knew it, they were checked out of the clinic and sat in a cab, an exhausted Akira leaning on Goro's arm as they returned to the apartment building.
“We didn't have to pay for a cab,” he protested for the fifth time, and Goro shook his head, again, for the fifth time.
“Have you seen yourself? You'd fall over before we were even halfway back, and I'm not going to carry you.”
“Hey. I'm strong.”
“You're also sick. And you passed out back there.” Goro sighed, looking out the window. “Just relax and let me take care of you for once.”
He was blushing again, and Akira decided to let it go, just this once.
They were back at the apartment in a few minutes. Akira leaned against every available surface on their way in, and as soon as Goro had unlocked their door, he walked back to their bedroom and collapsed on top of the sheets. He felt the bed dip with the weight of a second body.
“I should have taken you to Takemi-san,” Goro said, tone regretful, and Akira rolled over to look at him, sitting on the edge of the bed, staring down at his gloved hands. “At least she would have known better.”
“...Yeah, probably. But you were right. It's a long way and I'm tired.”
“You weren't this exhausted before. Passing out... takes a lot out of a person. I would know.” Goro sighed, pushing a hand through his hair. “And the way that nurse reacted...”
“I was there,” Akira cut in, though his voice sounded more shaky than teasing. “You don't have to tell me.”
“...Sorry.” Goro turned to look at him, and laid a hand on his back. He could feel that Akira was still trembling. “How are you now?”
“Fine.”
“Don't lie, Akira.” Goro pulled his legs up on the bed, and moved so he was crouched over Akira again. “How do you really feel?”
Akira sighed, turning his face away from Goro, but after a moment, he spoke.
“I know... what she gave me was just an antibiotic, but...” He faltered.
“You're worried that she injected you with something else?”
“Yeah.” He smiled, full of self-deprecation more than mirth. “Dumb, huh?”
“No.” Goro moved off him, sitting on his side of the bed now. “It's not at all. It's completely understandable, after what I-”
“What they,” Akira corrected, voice stern, and Goro smiled a little.
“Yes. What they did to you.” Akira doubted he really believed it, but he didn't interject again. “After that, no one could blame you for this reaction.”
“I guess.”
“It's understandable,” Goro repeated, voice just as firm as Akira's had been, and he couldn't help but smile.
A moment of silence passed, before Goro pushed himself back off the bed. “I should go get your prescription. Do you need anything else?”
Akira felt his stomach drop, but he forced himself to shake his head. There was no reason to be afraid, he reminded himself. He was safe in their apartment now. The stuff he had been injected with, it was only to help him, not hurt him.
“You're sure?” asked Goro, and Akira nodded. After a moment, Goro was leaned over him again.
“I keep telling you,” he said, and while he sounded impatient, his voice was also full of caring. “Don't hide it from me. Tell me how you feel.”
A pause, and then Akira said softly, “Don't leave. Just... not yet.”
Immediately, Goro sat back down on the bed, his hand on Akira's arm. “I won't.”
“I don't want to be alone... not right now,” he admitted, his voice nearly silent, but it was enough for Goro to hear. He felt a warm pressure against his back as Goro crawled on the bed again, laying against his back. His arms snaked around Akira, who twisted around so his head was buried comfortably under his chin. He was still shaking, but he felt safe now, and it would be gone soon.
“Thanks, Goro,” he whispered. “For everything today.”
Lips pressed lightly against his forehead. “Of course. Now, take a nap; you're sick, remember?”
Akira chuckled and nuzzled ever closer. He was starting to drift off when he hear the soft pad of a cat's tread, Morgana entering the bedroom.
“You guys are back,” he said, as though he hadn't already known that. Akira once more appreciated the cat's knack for knowing when to stay scarce.
“Why don't you join us, Morgana?” asked Goro pleasantly, his breath tickling the top of Akira's head.
“I dunno... he's not contagious, is he?”
“Not in the least.”
“Well, okay!” Morgana was on the bed in an instant, and Akira could feel him purring as he snuggled up against his back. After a moment, he said softly, “He's shaking.”
“He's just tired. Be quiet and let him rest, alright?”
“Okay. Night, Akechi.”
Akechi chuckled and said, “It's only ten thirty in the morning.”
“Good night, Akechi.”
Akechi laughed again, and Akira drifted off to the sound, falling into a peaceful slumber.