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Chapter Text

 He grins and looks over at me. I laugh in reply at his (dumb) joke, but his gaze burns through me like flaming matchsticks. I steady myself with a wide grin; choking out a sarcastic comment. He drones on about the paranormal place we'll be visiting tomorrow in that trademark narrator voice, but I don't bother to listen. I lean back in my chair and think over this episode's location. 

 The Bran Castle. When I told Ryan I picked it, he almost punched me. He had no choice anyways, it was my turn to pick where we would go this season. It was interesting, anyway; going all the way to Romania for a couple of scares and some dubious footsteps. Or, at least that's what it seems like to him.

 I've seen much 'scarier' things on this little ghost hunting show of ours. Keeping up this skeptic facade got a little hard when you had snickering apparitions following your best friend, and you're the only one who can see them. Especially when they take a liking to him. 

 Lizzie Borden was a pain. The Sallie House demon certainty clung to Ryan. Timmy thought he was a kind man. It's really a problem, but he never sees it. 

 Those audio recordings he looks over? Sometimes he's terribly wrong, but sometimes he's so dead on the point it scares me. And I'm a demon. 

 I probably should mention that. This body I inhabit isn't mine. I used to be a spirit, sitting in hell, twiddling my thumbs. Until the head honcho assigned me to Earth. Thought I could at least break a couple human hearts, drag a few more to the underworld with me. I had one rule. Don't get attached. 

 I broke that rule when I met Ryan.

 But that's against the point.

 What I meant to get at is, I'm a demon. In a human's body. Stuck in a battle with my feelings and the devil.

 That sounds a lot more dramatic than what it is but.. 

 "God, we're gonna regret this.." Ryan's grumbles break me out of my thoughts. "I swear if I'm a vampire by the time we're back, you're dead, Madej." He plays up his discomfort for the camera, but it's funny anyways. I smirk. 

 "What if I already am, Bergara?" I joke. Ryan snickers beside me, and I find it undeniably cute.

 Ryan moves to turn off the camera. I prop my feet up on the desk and sigh.

 This man is going to be harder to get rid of than I thought.

Chapter Text

 "We're seriously doing this?" He speaks; breaking the silence. I glance at him and crack a smile. He really doesn't know what he's in for. "Going to a witch's shop? I thought we were just going to banter about vampires.."

 "It's a coffee shop, ran by witches. I thought it would be fun." I retort. "They say there's potions mixed in with the coffee and tea." He shakes his head with a grin.

 "I told you I don't believe in witches."

 "I dunno. Still more plausible than ghosts or demons or whatever spooky shit you come up with."

 The cab driver snickers.

 "Fuck you, Shane." Ryan mutters, all the while laughing. 

 "You two ghost hunters?" The cab driver asks; his Romanian accent thick. "We have a lot of those in Transylvania."

 "Yeah. My buddy here," he points to me, "is the idiot skeptic of our duo."

 "Won't argue with that." I chuckle. "We're staying in Bran Castle tomorrow."

 His laugh is like a rumble, and it kind of intimidates me. "Nice, man. You two like a couple?"

 Ryan flushes; obviously embarrassed at the smallest notion that we would ever be intimate. In fact, I didn't know his cheeks could get that red. For the smallest second, I hope he's flustered because he enjoys the idea. I shake that feeling away, and my hellbound heart chills a little. 

 "Nah.. Dunno why Ryan's blushing so hard, maybe I'm just too irresistible." The driver laughs even harder at this. Ryan's embarrassment gets a hell of a lot worse. I revel in it. 

 "H-hey! Dude- ew!"

 He's never that way when we're close. It's only when he hears it out loud. I guess I'm like that too. I decide to stop poking at him. For now.

 "I'm just joking, c'mon man. But I am handsome."

 "You'd look better if you weren't a fuckin' wobbly idiot." 

 "Wobbly idiot is my middle name."

 "Yeah, yeah. Hardy-ha. Shane 'Wobbly Idiot' Madej."

 "That's my name, baby. Don't wear it out."

 The cab parks in front of a quaint shop in the middle of a busy shopping sector. Couples sit out at tables, sipping steaming cups of hot drinks in the cold air. I pay the driver, say my thanks, and walk out with Ryan onto the concrete sidewalk. We walk together to the door, and I hold it for him.

 "Ladies first." I quip. Can't seem too nice, now.

 He shakes his head. "Shut up, Shane."

 The café is decorated nicely; a fire roaring in one side of the warm building. The women at the counter smile sweetly and greet costumers. I read about the drinks on the menu above her.

 "Bine ati venit! What can I get for you two today?" Her voice is so kind that I'm scared by it. 

 "I'll take a.. Dragoste coffee." Ryan places his order calmly, and the woman giggles softly. 

 "And I'll have the Dandelion-hearted tea." I like the names. Cute.

 "Okay! Feel free to take a seat, dears." She giggles again, and I wonder what's up. 

 We sit down at a table, taking in the sights and sweet smells. Our coffee and tea comes shortly after.

 Ryan opens a pack of sugar and dumps the entire thing in with absolutely no care. He stirs it in, and sips a tiny bit from a spoon. His eyes glaze over a little bit after a couple more sips, and after he finishes the entire cup, I'm actually kind of worried. 

 There's something off about his expression. He lays his cheek in his hand and sighs with a dopey smile.

 His pupils are dilated a lot wider than they should be. 

 I google what dragoste means. 

 I was wrong.

 I was so goddamn wrong.

 I'm the one who has no idea what they're in for. 

Chapter Text

 I swear I'm going to burn alive. This is worse than just pining for him. I'm used to just pining.

 It's worse because I get a taste of what I'll never have. 

 I pay, and we leave the café. As we step out into the street, his fingers interweaves with mine. His touch ignites sparks under my skin. I try to ignore them. 

 Jazz echoes from a band on the street corner, and Ryan gravitates towards them in his love potion-fueled stupor. Couples dance around the band; children and their families stop to watch. It is a Friday, maybe I should have expected this. 

 "Dude!" He giggles. "This is awesome! We should dance.." He purrs at me, and suddenly I'm on fire again. I try to tell myself he doesn't know what he's doing. He's not in love with me, he doesn't want to dance with me. He would never. 

 He puts my free hand on his waist, like all of the other couples around us. Out of the corner of my eye, I see the woman who served us step out of the café. She winks at me. I silently curse at her. 

 The music slows. Help, I mouth at her. She laughs.

 She's evil. Which is ironic, because I'm the demon here. 

 He moves with the music, and drags me along with him. I swear my face feels hotter than hell as he drags out every little bit of this makeshift slow dance. I want to beg the one of the band members to take mercy on me and bash my head in with his sousaphone. Even that would hurt less than this. 

 It speeds up while I try to focus on the music. He swings me around like he's not incredibly short. I take the lead from him; something akin to courage in my veins. He wheezes at this. It feels like him, it sounds like him, but it feels so wrong. I should be enjoying this, but I can't.

 Maybe he does mean it, somewhere in his heart. 

 I move him around easily, and as it gets louder and more playful, so do we. The music is so loud, it vibrates under my feet. Both us have no idea what we're doing, but it's.. Fun. I start to loosen up; I put down the facade. I'm unsure, he's unsure, we're doing what we can. It almost feels real. 

 I start to realize that I'm definetly screwed.

 I can't help but to smile when he's looking at me like that. It's wrong. 

 This is payback, I think. I fell head first and now the devil's dragging me by my feet. Revenge for breaking the one rule I had. 

 He trips over my legs a couple of times. We look stupid, but it's okay for him. Lucifer is playing us like puppets. Brent would tell me not to blame everything on Satan, but I know this has something to do with it. He can play on consequences. That's why no one crosses him.

 But I'm cocky. I'll roll his dice and see where it lands me.

 And it's certainly landed me somewhere.

 It's sweet torture, and no one else around us knows it. They're all having the time of their lives.

 The song slows to a seductive tune. This is worse. I prefer the fast ones where I don't have to look at his face like that. 

 As it gets dark, we stop dancing. We walk around the block, and I leave him at a shop where he continues to look around. I rush out, running down the street, uncaring. I stop and run inside the café. She stands at the counter, smirking smugly.

 I walk up to her and place my hands on the wood.

 "What did you do to him?" I ask gruffly. 

 "Hush, hush. He'll be fine. It wears off in twelve hours.. You've already spent three." She answers, almost too calmly. I envy her.

 "Why is he.. Why is he like that?" She laughs at this.

 "It's a love potion, silly! But if you really want the specifics, he's just enhanced." She pulls her red hair into a ponytail, and giggles at my dumbfounded expression. "It preys on his.. Actual feelings. Makes him act them out, albeit idiotically. He likes you."

 Her words feel like a gunshot to the heart. I want to scream.

 She narrows her eyes.

 "We don't appreciate demons in our shop. Get out." She whispers. It feels like pouring salt into an open wound. I rush out of the café. I run to the shop he's in.

 I tell myself not to do anything stupid.

 He's standing outside, under a glistening streetlight. He smiles at me; his eyes tearing me open from the inside. "Shane! I'm glad you came back."

 The music from the still-going band swings around us.

 I pull him by the collar. Anything to help dull the pain.

 His lips burn. Pain against pain.

Chapter Text

 I sit at the kitchen table in our air bnb, sipping a cup of coffee which, fortunately, doesn't include a love potion. Ryan walks out of his room while I scroll through twitter. I can't look him in the eye.

 He stretches and groans; his hair is a mess. "G'morning, big guy." He yawns over at me.

 "Good morning?" I ask, hesitantly. This is too casual after what happened last night. What I did.

 For a second I wonder if the potion ever really wore off. 

 "I feel like I've got the world's worst hangover.. I can't remember anything past that coffee shit. Everything else is a blur." He rubs his temple for the added effect. I breathe a sigh of relief, and he looks at me strangely. 

 "What did we do?" My mind scrambles at his question. I don't want to tell him, especially if he doesn't remember what I did. 

 I want to be his friend. But I want to roll the dice.

 You'd think I'd have learned my lesson in gambling by now. 

 "You.. uh.." My face flushes. I can feel it. "I'll tell you later." 

 He laughs at this, but I know he's suspicious. "Was I really that embarrassing? I feel like that witch slipped an entire bottle of vodka in that coffee."

 He eats breakfast, showers. Time flies as we get into the car, late into the afternoon, and drive to Bran Castle. I'm kind of excited to face the spirits inside of that castle. Not because they're cool, but because making them scamper is more fun than thinking about Ryan all night. 

 We banter on the trip there. Ryan begins to film it. I put up the skeptic facade.

 "Fuckin' vampires, man." He laughs.

 "Considering Dracula is a fictional story set in Bran Castle, I doubt we'll see any." I put an extra emphasis on fictional. I actually believe this one. Vampires are not real, this isn't fucking Twilight. 

 "I.." He says, dumbfounded. I chuckle because I've caught him.

 "Not so confident anymore, are you, Bergara?" I mock him playfully. I'm starting to enjoy this a lot more than I should. 

 "Shut up, Shane." 

 "Mm. Not until you stop spouting bullshit about vampires, honey." I'm ashamed that I let the pet name slip through my lips. The tumblr kids are going to eat that up.

 "Thanks for the offer, darling, but that isn't gonna fuckin' happen." Darling. Good, more things to overthink while walking around dark-ass halls in a haunted castle. I let Ryan think he won, and chuckle. I feel the urge to ruffle his hair, but I shake it off. 

 A few hours later and we're there, standing in the twilight; under the shadow of an elegant castle. The moon is full in the purple-pink sky, the air is chilly on my skin. Ryan decided it would be a good idea to go in a t-shirt, and I see him shudder next to me. We step closer to the doors and Ryan starts filming.

 "Well.. We're here." His tone is subdued. "It's actually really beautiful."

 I look up again and stare. 

 "That's the only thing you've said so far that I agree with." I snark at him with a smile that gives away any anger. He rolls his eyes.

 He opens the door and suddenly, we're in. It's dark already, and I snap my flashlight on before he has a chance to. 

 This was going to be a long night. 

 ~

 I don't know why I sent Ryan off by himself. Maybe I needed to some time to think. The halls are beautifully silent, the only sounds are my heels on the floor and my thoughts. I know what I want, it's not that. I just don't know how to get what I want without hurting anyone. 

 I end up finding a room. There are candles scattered across the room, armchairs and a fireplace. Everything is maroon and black, the colors of blood. I'm not scared, but unnerved. Something is off. There's no spirits, but something is weighing it down so much that it hurts to breathe. The air is thick. It actually begins to hurt.

 I collapse in an armchair, trying to breathe. I force air in and out of my lungs and even though I can feel it, it doesn't help. Something is choking me from the inside out.

 Then I see him.

 He walks out of the shadows, illuminating the candles one by one as he passes. He leans up against an armchair; his form sleek and calculated. He's handsome. The Devil is handsome. Suddenly, I know why I went to hell. But this isn't a romance novel. My human heart begins to race, and I can't control it. It hurts so much to be helpless.

 He smirks at me. I want to rip him apart, piece by piece. 

 "I gave you one rule." He's taunting me. "You broke it. Darling, do you know what you did?" Darling. He's mocking me. He's mocking Ryan. It's so painful. I can't breathe even though I struggle.

 "Answer me." He growls.

 "Yes- yes!" I manage to choke out. It hurts.

 He laughs at my pitiful attempt. "Adorable. You know I won't let you have mercy." 

 It's tearing me apart.

 "You love him, don't you? Love is such a powerful thing.. So satisfying to kill it." He motions like he's choking something, and I feel the air tighten. "I'll give you two choices. Either you kill him, or you give him to me. I'll be glad to take him from you." My heart turns cold in my chest even though my blood is boiling. I want to throw my flashlight at him, but I can't move. 

 I know what game he's playing.

 "He's- He's-" I can't bring myself to say it, but I have to. For Ryan. "He's yours!" 

Chapter Text

 It feels amazing to breathe again, but every inch of my body is burning with fear. I run down the halls carelessly. It's so quiet, but so loud. Blood rushes in my ears and all I hear is white noise. My thoughts are blank. I fight the urge to scream.

 I just sold my best friend to Satan.

 It sounds almost comical. I try to tell myself I did it because.. Because I couldn't kill him. I couldn't do that. 

 But then, I realize, I just gave him away to a fate worse than death. I did it because it was easier for me. 

 I'm so selfish.

 I collapse on the ground, unable to run any longer. A wail escapes my lips as I'm tortured by my own doing. Tears well up in my eyes. I let them fall.

 "Shane!" I hear someone scream at me. My vision is so blurred by tears I can hardly make out the figure. The only thing I know is that it isn't Ryan. 

 It's our camera man. He's so disheveled and afraid, he looks even worse than me. "Ryan! Ryan's gone- I don't know what happened- I just- he just- Goddammit!" He stomps his foot on the ground and it makes the floor under me vibrate with a boom.

 "Go." I say, softly. I know what I've got to do. "Go. Leave, don't tell anyone about this. We still have 4 days in Romania. Leave me here. I can fix this." He looks at me in such horror. His eyes are wide and he looks almost nauseous.

 "Sure thing, boss." I can see him try to smile. It's so painful. "Just.. Be careful, man. I don't know what we fucked with but it's angry as hell.." 

 He runs away before I can reply.

 I steady myself up on a chair. Everything seems to hurt. I know he's in here somewhere, and I know that son of a bitch is going to make me kill myself to get him back. 

 But I'll do it; I'm already dead. It's going to take more than smoke and mirrors to stop me from saving Ryan.

 After all, I have to save him.

 I don't have any other choice. I have to. I need to.

~

 Where am I? I sure as hell don't know. 

 The first thing I see is a man. I don't know who he is. I hope he's Shane.

 But he's too sleek to be Shane. No warm sloth arms, no penguin nose and no sweet eyes. The man is all sharp edges and burning cold. I'm so scared. 

 I wish he was Shane. I'm shaking and there's tears in my eyes. I want him to dry them. I don't care if it's too close. I want his touch.

 I notice the man try to be as soft as possible but it doesn't work. There's something so sinister in the air. I try to move. I try to get away. I can't. 

 I'm not bound to anything, but I'm stuck in place. I can't speak. Nothing comes out. 

 I focus on the man. He's in a suit. Horns protrude from his head. Wings curl upon his back. He's the image of terrifying deception. I don't know what I did wrong. Maybe I shouldn't have tempted the goatman, maybe I should have thought more about what I said to demons. He notices me and chuckles.

 "Ah, so you're awake." He steps closer and I flinch away. He doesn't touch me, but he laughs at my fear. "I'm not going to hurt you. What I do won't be painful physically but.. We've got to tempt that bastard somehow."

 I look at him again; eyes like a deer in headlights.

 "Shane." He whispers. "You know him, don't you?" He tries to be kind. I reluctantly nod when he lets me. "Hm.. Maybe I should tell you why you're here."

 My heart pounds. I know he can hear it. I know he's happy that I'm scared.

 "Your friend there, he's a demon. One of my warriors. I sent him to earth again to drag down souls.. and he managed to fall in love with you. But you're mine now. Maybe I'll let you go after he tries to rescue you. Or maybe you'll fight for me." His voice is like poison. It seeps into every vein and burns you from the inside out. Shane, Shane, Shane. His name is all I want to hear, even if it burns me alive. Shane, Shane, Shane. I keep his smile in my head. 

 He lets me speak. 

 "Why?"

 It's one word. I don't think I really want to know the answer. 

 "Why do you do this?"

 "Because I can. I have no humanity. I only have control." His eyes are like flames. Not like Shane's warm embers. They flick like snake tongues. His voice is a hiss. 

 "I don't want love. I don't want sex. I have what I want. Power. So I'm going to use it, I'm going to play games like these. It's entertaining." 

Chapter Text

 I can't sit around and wait to rescue Ryan forever. I let myself stand up, and brace myself for what I'm about to do. It's been so long since I've let my wings out, and my horns curl around my head. I know it's going to hurt, but you know, anything would hurt less that what's happening right now.

 I stretch out and arch my back. I let my wings grow from my back, breaking flesh and ripping ragged holes through my shirt. They're wild-looking and huge, and I spread them out; trying to regain the control that I used to have. I look like a ghastly silhouette in the moonlight splayed out on the wall. My horns do the same thing. They don't bleed or rip wounds. It's a delicate process. 

 Some other things from my demon side leak into my human form. I'm a bit taller. My eyes, even though I try to keep them the same warm brown, echo the look of crimson. My pupils are slits. I truly look demonic, but still chic. 

 I guess it works. 

 I don't need weapons, but I pull a dagger from a shelf. I put it in my jean pocket. I notice the camera man dropped some of Ryan's things on the elegant sofa. I grab his spray-gun filled with holy water. It looks.. stupid. But I might need it, so I tuck it away. I keep my hand on the gun. Having something of Ryan's consoles me. I flip on my flashlight. It's too much of a hassle to light all of the candles myself.

 I walk down the halls. I know he didn't take Ryan anywhere in the castle that I can reach, so right now I don't bother. I walk into the master bedroom.

 On the bed, I spot a woman. She's a ghost, obviously.

 Her hair is laid out amongst the covers and her eyes are glossy. She looks young, but her body is translucent. Her nightgown falls over the bed. I'm not startled to find a spirit, but she's obviously somewhat powerful. The air around her is freezing cold. 

 "Woe is me.." She whimpers, looking over at me. "I'm so hated that demons take pity on me.." Her voice is high-pitched and eerie. 

 "Yeah, Yeah. Okay, moaning myrtle, help me out a little bit here." I snark. "I could use your help with something." It feels odd, asking someone below me for help. Demons aren't supposed to do this. But I guess I've done so many things I'm not supposed to, it's a hobby by now.

 "Help?" She rises from her position, sitting up at this. She gestures for me to sit down next to her. I do, and it's so cold I almost can't stand it. "With what?"

 I can't believe she trusts me like this. I'm a demon. I could burn her pretty little powers in a second. 

 But I won't. I can't.

 "Listen. I sold my best friend to the devil and now I've got to get him back. I can't do this alone." I realize how naive I'm acting and scoff. "But it's your choice. Of course, if you ever told a demon I was doing this-" I run one of my fingers over my neck. Her eyes widen. "You know I can erase you." Her demeanor immediately changes. She grows wary. I can feel it in the air. 

 "I- I'm going to help you." I look down and she sees something. "You miss him, don't you?" Her words are soft. "Can't live without him?" She's being genuine. She lays a hand on mine. It's almost comforting.

 "Yes," I whisper.

 "I know how it feels.." She trails off. "My husband- or so I call him- died before our wedding. I couldn't.. I couldn't go on. I couldn't find him in heaven. So I tried to go to hell. I.. I'm stuck in the in-between now. So I waste away in this castle. I want to do something helpful, so let me help you find him." She squeezes my hand. I feel hot tears on my cheeks.

 "Why are you trusting me?" I say, softly. She shouldn't. She should run. Demons are horrible people, but she.. She doesn't seem to care. 

 "Because I know you're not lying. No one ever cries at my story. Only those who care. Demons.. Demons usually laugh." I flash her a concerned look. I must seem like an idiot. A demon crying.

 And then it hits me, like the tide.

 Maybe I don't want to be a demon anymore.

 ~

 I hope Shane rescues me.

 He lead me into this room. I don't know where I'm at. 

 The room is elegant. It has a bed, a sofa. Even a fireplace. The fire inside of it roars with passion. I'm glad for it, because otherwise I would be freezing. It's obvious he doesn't want me to die or injure myself. I just wonder why. He obviously doesn't care about me. He would kill me if he wanted to. 

 I lay on the bed. I let my back sink into the plush mattress. I pull one of the pillows from the headboard and wrap my arms around it. For a second, I forget about where I am.

 I close my eyes. I focus on Shane. He's going to save me. I'm going to leave. We're going to be friends like normal. Then I realize.

 Warrior?

 I remember the man. Before he shoved me in here he told me who he was.

 The devil.

 My mind goes blank.

 I clutch the pillow tighter.

 Shane's a demon. Shane loves me. Shane. Shane. Shane. His name syncs up with the beat of my heart. I just wanted to do this like normal. Another fucking ghost hunt. It wasn't ever supposed to happen like this. 

 God help me.

~

 As I stand by Maria, it almost looks meant to be. We walk in sync. She looks gorgeous, her dress is long and flows around her ankles like a river. I look powerful. I could make humans- and other demons kneel. All Maria can really do in her state is knock over things, so she holds my dagger. I sharpened it earlier, as we really couldn't find other weapons in the castle. Most were decorative and unpractical. I let my eyes gloss over to a shiny black. There's no point in hiding any longer.

 Maria told me there were more powerful spirits in the castle. Ones that we could use on this escapade. Some are so tortured by life that they would do anything to get revenge. 

 The next spirit we find is one of them. He's covered in head to toe in expensive fabrics, but he looks unnerved. When he first saw me, he pulled a gun from his pocket. He's cocky, but he's scared. 

 His name is Vasile. He agrees to come along once he sees Maria. She seems to know most of the ghosts in the castle by name. They trust her.

 We meet ghosts faster than ever. A teen girl named Ana. A feisty man named Mihal. His son, Andre. Claudia, Cosmin. All of them have some sort of defining trait. It's actually quite interesting.

 The one I'm most happy about is a woman named Narcisa. She clutches a silver cross when she first notices me. I step closer to her.

 I know I can't touch her cross, but as long as she keeps it on her, she could be a big help.

 She agrees to help us, along with most of the ghosts we've recruited. She slips the cross into her pocket.

 Ghosts don't need to sleep, but I do. My human form weighs me down sometimes, but I can't leave it. 

 I fall asleep thinking of Ryan. What we're going to do if I rescue him

 No, I will rescue him.

 I have to.

~

 I count the hours as I pick a book from the shelf beside my bed. My fingers graze over a title about composers and their symphonies. I pull it out of the shelf. I hope it will distract me from Shane's face.

 I read about Beethoven. Mozart. Chopin.. The names blur as I get tired. I have to sleep sometime. I curse myself for wondering what Shane is doing. I don't want to think about him right now.

 Instead I mark a page filled with sheet music and set the book beside my bed. I fall asleep with stress in my bones.

~

 When I wake up, I'm surrounded by the ghosts doing their own things across the room. Narcisa and Cosmin read together. Andre, Mihal, and Vasile play cards. Claudia tsks while attempting to fix Ana's hair. Maria worries over the lot of them; she walks around and makes sure they're all okay. It's almost like a family. I quirk a crooked smile at them. 

 Maria rushes over to me. "Honey.." She sounds worried. "Are you okay?" 

 My grin grows. She's a like a mother goose. "Maria, I'm dead. Of course I'm okay." 

 Vasile looks over at me and scowls. "Are you going to finally tell us what goddamned human we're saving?" Mihal laughs at his impatience. 

 I rise from my covers, half naked and sleepy. I rub my eyes.

 Maria worries over me yet again.

 "I'll get you some new clothes- of course your wings will rip them- but-" 

 My smile is so wide. I'm finally happy. "I don't really care right now."

 She rushes off and I notice Claudia look me up and down.

 "We're saving my.. friend," I announce. "Ryan." Claudia's eyes widen and she smirks deviously.

 "Ah," She approaches me slowly. "The cute one.. I quite like him." My heart sinks.

 "He's mine. Dibs." I growl. She scoffs.

 "You know, you can always have room in your bed for.. Ah, how do I say? Another." She presses a hand against my chest. I swat her away. Ana fakes a gag.

 "Gross!" Andre busts out in laughter, and so does the rest of the ghosts. I think I might be able to save Ryan.

Chapter Text

 I learned more about my recruits powers over the past few days. Narcisa was a witch. She kept the cross on her to ward away dark spirits, but I guess that didn't exactly work how she planned. Vasile used to be a gambling man, and a good one at that. He beat Mihal and Andre five separate times in a row before they had the nerves to quit. Mihal and Andre were both bartenders. Maria was a nurse. Ana was a wannabe solider. Cosmin and Claudia were both musicians. 

 It's wasn't impressive when I first heard it, but now that I've been working with them I understand their capabilities. I place my faith in them to help me get him back. I don't know what we'll have to do, but I'll do it. I'll do all of it if I have to. 

 I lay back on the sofa I've been sleeping on for a couple of weeks. Maria found me some comfortable, albeit form-fitting, clothes from the west wing of the castle. She insisted on cutting holes in the backs for my wings, and its surprising that it actually worked. They're oddly formal, though. A cravat and a dusty 1800s suit. Some have bloodstains on the collars. Others don't. I'm slightly unnerved by that. 

 I hear soft piano music echoing from somewhere in the castle. I assume it's Cosmin on one of the many grand pianos, but as soon as he rushes in the room, I get a bit scared. I hear fumbling among notes and quickly stopped mistakes. 

 "Cosmin?"

 "It- It-" He stutters. "It isn't me! No, no, I would not mess up that many times-" He sounds scared. My heart begins to race. Nobody else in the castle knows how to play a piano besides Cosmin. "Besides, I despise Mozart's music! I would never play such a horrid thing." He waves his hand nervously with a false confidence. The music grows louder. Cosmin ghostly face drains of any color it still had. 

 The fire flares up suddenly. The flames grow as then almost engulf the top of the fireplace. They burn partly orange, but the majority is a bright, angry blue. The most ghastly part, however, was the sickening image in the fire. 

 Ryan. He's playing the piano. His fingers flounder on the keys as he attempts to read the sheet music from a book on the stand. He smiles to himself when he gets something right.

 I don't know how I'm supposed to take this.

 The image disperses quickly, replaced with the devil's face.

 He smirks at me. I want to strangle him.

 He mouths something but I don't hear it. I rise faster than I ever have and run. I don't know where I'm going. I just run towards the music. Cosmin yells at me. He knows I won't care and runs to get the others. I hear footsteps rattle the floor behind me but I don't look back. I just run.

 A burst of energy carries me throughout the castle. Blood rushes in my ears. I think about how I could have prevented this. I think my heart is going to beat out of my chest.

 I feel weary. I don't know how long I can do this for. 

 I can't cry, though.

 I call on something, something, from my demon side to save me from collapsing. And then I realize. I have fucking wings. They lift me up with batting slaps to the air around me. I feel kinda like I'm suffocating. 

 It reminds me of that.

 I move like a cutting-edge knife. I try to control them the best I can. The music gets louder and louder until I can almost feel it in my bones. 

 I stop swiftly before I hit a brick wall. I recoil and fall back on the ground. Everyone stops behind, taking ganders at the wall that was never there before. It's translucent, with a red tinge. I can see.. A living room. Someone lays cat-like on the couch. I know it's him. He sees me staring at him, and walks over.

 "This is hilarious. You can't get your hands on Ryan unless I let you in, and you know I'm not going to. Unless.."

 I'm confused. He doesn't seem to notice the ghosts. I look behind me, and notice they're gone.

 "Unless?" I grit out.

 "You make a deal. Give up, and I'll give you Ryan."

 "Stop being cryptic, dumbass. Tell me what you want me to give up!" I demand from him.

 "A soul, and your demon status. I don't know what you'll be then, honestly. Heaven doesn't want you." He sneers.

 "I'll.. I'll give it to you." I almost whimper. I don't want to do this, but I know that I have to.

 Notice that I didn't agree to a deal. 

 "Aha! Perfect.. Give me those things and you have your boy." He chuckles. "Even though I'd rather keep him. He's quite adorable." I almost punch the wall. I'll never let him fucking touch Ryan.

 "Give me a minute." He nods at my request. I step behind a wall, and the ghosts reveal themselves. 

 Maria looks nauseous. 

 "I'll do it." She speaks. 

 "No!" Ana yells, running over to her. "Don't give yourself up for this.. this bastard! He doesn't deserve you!"

 Maria remains stoic.

 "I've done it, darling. I've done something in this horrible place. Maybe I'll get to see my husband again.."

 I almost scream.

 "You're not! I'm going to.. I'm going to kill him!"

 "You can't-"

 I grab Maria, and link our arms. I walk to him.

 "I will." I promise her. "I need to get Ryan back."

 What have I done? This could have been easy.

Chapter Text

 Maria looks sort of like a queen from one of those paintings in the library. As she walks alongside me, up to that damned man, she quivers. I can hardly tell though; she keeps her expression calm. Fiddle music accompanies the looming piano song in an attempt to scare me away. He lounges on the couch, and destroys the wall with a flick of his hand. He looks smug as he rises from the sofa. 

 "Good. I see you've brought along.. her?" He screws up his face in attempt to remember where he'd seen her face. "Oh! How silly of me.. You're that desperate woman looking for her idiot husband." I feel the air around Maria get colder by the second. I don't unlink our arms.

 Instead, I use my free hand to pull the holy water from my pocket. Maria does the same except with the dagger.

 He doesn't flinch. It's only until I point the plastic gun at him does he talk. 

 "Really?" He extends his hand to touch the gun. Fire flicks around in his palm, engulfing the gun and melting the plastic almost instantly. I don't move. I let the water, which should have evaporated, drip down onto his hand. 

 He recoils in pain, his flame extinguished. 

 We move quickly. Narcisa rushes in, throwing her cross to Maria. She wraps the cross around the dagger, placing it against his throat. She struggles.. Unable to go any farther. I notice his uninjured hand moving her like a puppet. I try to fight his power, I push against it with my own. Like magnets, I try to draw the knife closer as he pushes her away. Mihal and Andre work to throw things off of shelves and make a distraction. There's nothing much Vasile can do except freeze the air. I push everything I have. 

 The dagger drops to the ground. 

 Maria falls back, collapsing on the ground; her dress falling around her ankles. With a shaky hand she pulls an old handgun from her dress pocket. She throws the gun to me, and then tosses the cross from the dagger onto him. 

 I catch it with the only strength I have left. I see her eyes shut. I hear a scream, but I don't know who it is. I don't know why she had this, the only thing I can think of is shooting. I see the cross land at his feet. I see him try to move from the spot, but he can't.

 I aim and pull the trigger. I see him fall back and I wonder if I did it. More screams. 

 A burning light fills the room. I don't know where it came from, I'm so confused in this stupor. My body is so weak.

 I see him on the ground, something gooey and black and close to blood pouring from his neck and his mouth. He's choking on his own life. I should feel bad, but I can't. I can't feel anything in this moment. All I feel is pressure pushing down on my body; it tears me apart. l can't sob, I can't scream even though I want to. I want to scream until my lungs give out. He clutches at his throat like it's going to help. He tries to throw the cross off of his body, but it blazes his hand every time he tries to touch it. A phantom of a grin on his lips, he looks helpless. Ugly, defiled. His wings splay out across the carpet. They start to come apart, piece by piece. I see him try to hold on to what afterlife he has left. A fallen angel, horrific and pained, he moves only in agony. My eyes stay on his body even though I want so desperately to look away.

 He won't give up on trying. His eyes are frantic as the close. His hands wilt like dead plants. He lays in a puddle of his own substance. The light gets stronger, it seems to flame up from where his heart was supposed to be.

 It burns so bright until I can't see. My body is blazing. I have slain the dragon. 

 But when will I get what I want, the prince? The pure man that I don't deserve. 

 I start to think that maybe he won't want me. Maybe I was nothing but a skeptic friend this entire time. 

 But what will I do then? Lay around and dream like all of this time? Maybe I'll never be anything more than the funny tall white guy stereotype to him. I need Ryan to love me, and if he doesn't, I don't know what I'll do. Why am I so fucking desperate for this man, that I killed the most powerful evil for him?

 I put my head in my hands. My body burns in unimaginable pain. I wail; I hope he can hear.

my bullet is in his neck.

he chokes.

he cant breathe.

 

he isn't like me at all.

but in that moment,

we’re the same.

 

i'm pushed down.

it hurts.

it hurts in a lot of ways.

 

why do i need him?

am i cursed?

i am only a puppet.

 

a puppet of his.

i am devoted.

i am deadly.

Chapter Text

 Don't fuck with demons.

 I told myself that a lot, when we first started Unsolved. Saying it all the time didn't really work for me, I guess. I don't know what's happening at this point. I don't think anyone does. The castle filled with this light.

 It didn't burn, didn't hurt, but it was so bright it could blind somebody. That's all I really know. I'm not in the room anymore, though.

 I have no clue where it went. I don't know what part of the castle I'm in, but as I stand up, my entire body aches with fatigue. Like arthritis or some shit. I should panic, but I don't think I can. I walk like a fawn; it's kind of embarrassing. The room- or tower- I'm in is decorated the same as the rest of the castle, except it's strangely barren.

 A rusted old telescope and a couple of unintelligible Romanian maps on a dusty table. I walk over and, out of curiosity, rub the dust off of one of them. I look at it, and even though I can't understand the writing, the mapped out area is clear. It's the castle. I try to find where I'm at. I can't pinpoint the exact location but the loud "WEST" carved into the rock walls tells me something. I decide to move closer to the edge of the tower, to look down. The city of Transylvania is so beautiful under the night sky that it almost knocks the breath out of me. It's gorgeous, and it looks more like a lit up model town from up here than a full size city. I think of how nice it would be to look at it without an underlying sense of dread. How nice it would be to look at it with Shane. To listen to his comments silenced by the beauty, that he can't even make a joke about me being scared. Maybe I would snap him out of his trance. Maybe I would.. My thoughts aren't as important as the task at hand.

 I move around in the dark, shining my flashlight (the only thing on me after he took me) on the ground. The LED light illuminates the tower in a sickeningly ominous off-white glow. I give myself a second to admire the way the bars on the edge of the tower look. Sharp, mini-fences with pointy tips to warn off intruders- or escapists. Or maybe it's just for show.

 I spot stairs nearby, a spiral case which spun downward until it reached an odd glowing room. I wander down them, in a foolhardy attempt to find Shane.

The room down below, turns out, is a vast ballroom. Lanterns light every inch of the marble floor.

 Something about this room draws me in. I see a man despairing on the floor, his head in his hands. There's nothing on him. He's not translucent or floating. He's simply human-looking. I don't know what it is that compels me to walk to him, to see who this man is. He's probably homeless or some shit. But careless hope fills my veins. "Shane?" I whisper, so soft that I don't think he can hear. I don't really want him to hear.. But his head perks up.

 I swear to God, I think we were both on the edge of cardiac arrest.

 His eyes are red with tears and his cheeks seem hollow. But he's Shane, as much Shane can be. I would note how strange it was for him to be wearing a suit with ragged holes torn in the back, but I digress. I run over to him in a burst of energy, and suddenly I'm kneeling at his side, clutching his arm.

 "Fuck," He groans. "Goddammit. I was supposed to save you. I was supposed to be the one you'd jump in the arms of and run off with. Not the other way around." I hate the fact that he can make jokes even at this time, but I laugh anyway just to see him smile. I know this isn't the situation that you expected it to end in, but I didn't either.

 "Can we go back to normal?" I ask, foolishly. "Just pretend this never happened?"

 "Not yet." They sound courageous on paper, but the words really aren't when they come out of his mouth. He has this off-key hesitant tone in his voice, and it hurts to hear. He's usually so sure-fire in his words. It reminds me of the time I got closer to him in the Sallie house. I rub my hand across the coarse, stiff material of his sleeve. That's really the only thing I get to do before he pulls me with the little force he has left, and crashes our lips together.

 It's unsure. His lips are chapped. I can't decide where to put my hands. There aren't any fireworks. It's not something you'd usually find in things like.. these. But damn, it feels amazing. His grip on me is needy. I try to forget where we are. For once, it kinda works.

 He breaks off and gasps. He looks at me with this drunken, dopey smile plastered on his silly penguin-nosed face. I'm so close to him that I notice how messy his hair is, how red his eyes are, and what a fucking disaster he is.

 I pull him in for another kiss. I let the bittersweet feeling melt from me while he works whatever dumb magic he has. 

 "Let's get out of here." I whisper to him, even though we're in an empty room.

 "Yeah." He replies- it's shaky, but an improvement- rising from the floor, pulling me up with him. His long legs wobble as I practically hold him up. My eyes graze across the room one last time. I notice a piano in the corner, with a book on the stand. A book opened to Mozart sheet music. 

-

 The castle isn't heavy anymore. It's not suffocating, it's not drowning me in angst. I haven't felt like this in what feels like years. I almost fly in the atmosphere. I kissed Ryan Bergara is a statement few can utter- maybe I should make it into a pin or something.

 Ryan and I sprint out of the castle as fast as possible, our hearts racing. I know the fuckers not gone for good- but he'll stay away from me. No one can kill him truly, but we can drive him away.

 I put Narcisa's cross on. The tiny t sits close to my heart. It's entire meaning is detached. I keep it close because I'd be dead without it. Dead-er. Gone. Gone's the right word, lets use that.

 It's night. I don't know what day it really is, but that's okay. I don't know where my clothes are. I'm in trouble and love at the same time. It's kind of like a one night stand- in a way. 

 The car is gone, obviously. I instinctively reach into my pocket for my phone, and surprisingly find it. I know for a fact that wasn't there before.

 I call an uber. 

 I can't keep my hands off of Ryan. I gotta make sure he's real, y'know?

 (I know he's real. My tests are conclusive.)

-

 I crash on the hotel bed next to him. His legs drape off the end of the bed, but that's okay. It's all okay.

 I don't really know what to do, so I roll over closer to him. Almost instantly, he wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me even closer. I can smell his shampoo with my nose pressed in the crook of his neck. 

 "You're suffocating me-" I complain, but fondly.

 "Oh? Thought you had a kink for that." His voice is full of sleepy lovesickness that it's almost making me sick. I laugh, even thought I shouldn't.

 Fuck. I think. I've lost it, for a dumb asshole-

 "I love you- your choking kink included."

 Goddammit. He's perfect.