Work Text:
"—25 year old Kim Taehyung was found dead, body floating on the Han river. Forensic experts described his death as suicide, a—"
Jimin abruptly turned the TV off. It truly pained him to see the dead body of his bestfriend appear on TV–and on national news, nonetheless. His boyfriend, Jungkook, apparently thought the same for he sported red eyes and tear tracks on his cheeks as he sat beside him.
"What happened?" It was a broken whisper that came out of Jungkook's mouth. He could not bring it upon himself to move his body since his heavy heart weighed him down. What happened to Kim Taehyung, their ray of sunlight, that he caused such a fatal act?
"I don't know." Jimin replied back, voice trembling, hands gripping a pillow tightly. Taehyung had been there for him when he couldn't even fix himself; had loved him even if he could not love himself. Hearing the news of his death so suddenly, at a bright sunny day at least, made him want to vomit and cry until all that was left of him was a puddle of blood, sweat and tears.
He mistook what he and Taehyung had as something useless. Something just platonic, something just like a toy that needs to be played, not cared for. He once pretended that he did not notice Taehyung's gentle whispers of "I love you" once they lay down in the sheets, bodies naked and hearts bare, and had left him there in his room, alone, ignoring the soft cries that emitted from Taehyung's room. Jimin was to blame for his death. If only he had realized his feelings sooner, if only he had said his "I love you" back before it was too late, if only he had cradled Taehyung in his arms and kissed his face and looked at him adoringly like one would look at a lover.
If only.
Jungkook, on the other hand, felt the simmering rage bubbling up inside him like the calm before the storm. He was mad at himself, at everything. He was angry at his wrong decisions, angry at the times he chose to push Taehyung away instead of holding him in his arms. He wanted to see his bright, boxy smile again, wanted to lay beside him as they looked at the stars and the spaces beyond.
But that last chance which he dearly prayed for didn't come to him like a guardian angel.
"I love him, Jungkook." A solemn statement pushed its way out of Jimin's lips while he stared blankly at the white wall. Silence reigned after that, and Jimin thought that there was no going back.
Jungkook's hand moved slowly towards his, gripping it tightly as if in pain. Jimin turned his head to look at the other and his boyfriend's sad, brown eyes bore into him. After years of knowing him, Jimin finally understood the message that Jungkook etched onto his eyes.
Me too.
.....
Jungkook tugged on the hem of his jacket as he stood in front of the headstone. The breeze blew by effortlessly as it ruffled his hair, and the green, green grass tickled the tips of his ankles.
Perhaps it was a beautiful scenery that one would immediately picture. The bright blue sky lightening up the land, the leafy trees standing upright, casting shadows on unsuspecting people, and the flowers swaying rhythmically to the wind, as if it was playing music. Perhaps the image was supposed to be a symbol of serenity, yet to Jeon Jungkook, it was not.
It was not a token of peace. Was not a token of Taehyung, who reminded him of the hot summer nights that he used to spend with him in slumber, their hands finding their way and lacing themselves in each others warmth.
Jungkook wanted to bash his head onto the headstone and cry until no tomorrow was left for him to grieve. He was truly stupid for his ignorant actions, for his insensitivity towards his now deceased companion to whom he held romantic affections to. He was too coped up in his happiness to realize something was missing in his and Jimin's relationship, and because of that he failed to acknowledge the flowers of what one may proclaim as 'love' bloom inside his chest--he had mistaken it for something akin to the friendship that they had for more than a decade.
Jungkook let out a long, weary sigh. No matter how much he may complain and lament, there was nothing he could do to bring Taehyung back. No amount of blood, swear, or tears would grab Taehyung from the afterlife and drag him to reality.
...
Beside Jungkook, Jimin stared blankly at the green grass sprouting from the ground. It was almost as if he was in a daze--maybe in shock--at something, particularly the events that just transpired a bit recently.
Kim Taehyung. Jimin's personal sunshine. His bestfriend since birth. His-his--soulmate--
Disappeared completely off the face of the Earth, slipped through his fingers like air.
And no, he didn't like that. Didn't like what Taehyung did--yet it was ultimately Jimin's fault, and he cannot help but blame himself. He should have enveloped Taehyung in his arms and cuddle him until nothing could be heard except for the beating of their hearts. He should have pulled him back into his embrace and pepper him with kisses until all he could hear was Taehyung's soft giggles. He should have saved him.
Yet he was not a hero. He was Park Jimin. And it seemed that salvation was unnecessary because it was too late.
...
Jimin fell to his knees and Jungkook followed, both focusing their attention towards the bame engraved on the stone.
Kim Taehyung (1995-2017)
A beautiful friend, son, and lover who created beautiful memories.
"You'll always be beautiful to us, Taehyung-ah." Stated Jimin, reaching out to softly caress the name. He could hear Jungkook trying hard to stifle his sobs, and he also could not prevent himself from shedding tears.
"We're sorry." Jungkook shakily said, bowing his head.
As they continued to lay there, pouring their hearts out, few droplets of water fell out from the sky.
It was an unspoken message--but it was already understood that it always had a reply.
We love you, Taehyung.
A gentle breeze swept through the clearing and the rustle of leaves could also be heard.
I love you too.