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Dongmin was nervous.
Of course, it could be argued that he was always nervous. Nervous was his natural state, after all. But that day, he was even more nervous. Like a wave in his usual sea of nerves, it was rising higher and higher, waiting to crash against the rocks.
That day was November 11th, and Dongmin was going to confess.
He was going to walk up with a pack of pepero and offer it to the object of his affection, and finally confess his feelings. It was kind of corny, but corny was all Dongmin had to fall back on. He was the furthest thing from confident and bold. This corny idea had to work. It was a staple in dramas, wasn’t it? They wouldn’t include it if it didn’t work at least some of the time. All Dongmin could do was hope this would be one of those times.
Waves of nerves still sloshed around inside him. That one big wave kept getting higher. Like the gravitational pull of the full moon was right above it, and getting closer.
Now that’s a good analogy.
Moon Bin sat on the other side of the couch, engrossed in whatever movie was on TV. He’d been eating something, and a few crumbs were still stuck by his lips. Dongmin was trying very hard not to stare at them--not the crumbs, and definitely not the lips--but his eyes kept going back again and again. How could he still be attractive like this? Moon Bin was an idiot who ate all the damn time and couldn’t even bother wiping his face properly. Then why was Dongmin so completely gone for that dumb face?
Sure he was good-looking. Mature, handsome face, but dark eyes that sparkled with mischief. Thin lips that naturally curved upwards, giving him a cute, cat-like appearance. His hair was black and he usually wore his bangs down, hiding a wide, handsome forehead that Dongmin wanted nothing more than to kiss all over--
Yup, Dongmin was completely gone.
But this pointless pining was going to end. That day. Dongmin was going to confess. If Bin accepted, then perfect. If Bin rejected him, at least this whole thing would end and Dongmin could move past this.
But he really hoped Bin wouldn’t reject him.
They were all gathered in the living room. Minhyuk was on the floor, Sanha on the sofa seat behind him as they shared one bowl of popcorn. Dongmin’s roommate Jinwoo had invited his boyfriend Myungjun over, and the two were curled up together on one single-seat sofa chair. Myungjun was watching the movie intently, but every once in a while Jinwoo would take his eyes off the screen to sneak a glance at Myungjun, make sure he was having a good time. Dongmin’s heart ached with envy. He wanted something cute and romantic like that. Automatically his eyes went to Bin, and found Bin staring back at him. Dongmin quickly looked away, heart thudding. When he risked another glance, he found Bin watching the TV screen once more. Dongmin breathed a sigh of relief. Hopefully Bin didn’t think he was one of those weirdos who openly stared at other people. That wouldn’t be good, especially since this was the day Dongmin was going to confess.
This was the day.
The thought of it was making him squirm, and suddenly he couldn’t just sit there anymore. Dongmin got up, maybe a little too hurriedly, because the others all turned to look at him. “I need to check on something,” he said. And that was true. Dongmin was suddenly filled with the urge to check on the pepero he had hidden in his bedroom drawer. It didn’t matter that he had already made sure it was there in the morning, or just a few hours ago before everyone had come over. He still had to.
The others seemed to believe him, and went back to the movie. Dongmin thought he could feel Bin’s eyes on him as he left, but that was probably his imagination. That, and the nerves.
When he was safe and alone in his bedroom, Dongmin took a deep breath. He had to steady himself. He wasn’t going to stutter or get choked up on his words when he confessed. He had to be calm and collected. He could do it. He was going to get a moment alone with Bin before he had to go home, and he was going to offer the pepero and his heart. Simple.
Dongmin walked over to his bedside table and opened the second drawer, the one where he’d safely stowed his pepero.
And found it empty.
Dongmin blinked in surprise. And then he closed the drawer, counted to five, and opened it again.
Still empty.
Panic rising in him, Dongmin dropped to his knees and started rifling through the drawer. There was nothing in it; he’d emptied it out for the pepero. He opened the other drawers, thinking maybe he’d moved it and forgotten, but nothing. A few notebooks, his journal, some stationery.
No pepero.
He tore through his cupboards, looked in his bookcase. He looked through his bag, the pockets of the jeans and hoodie he’d worn to the store. He even got down on his knees and looked under the bed. Nothing.
No pepero.
Dongmin stood up, ran his hands through his hair, trying to calm down. He could get through this. He was Lee Dongmin, and he was going to confess this day .
When he was sure he’d gotten his breathing under control, Dongmin walked out of his bedroom. “Hey, guys,” he said, and to his own surprise he sounded normal. “Some of my stuff’s been misplaced. Have any of you been in my bedroom?”
Minhyuk shook his head no. “Not me,” said Sanha.
“I’ve been with Myungjun-hyung since he came, and we haven’t gone in there,” said Jinwoo. Myungjun just nodded at that, and went back to watching the movie.
Which left only one person.
Bin shrugged and shook his head, without looking away from the TV. But Dongmin could see it now, how he looked uncomfortable, almost nervous. Crumbs were still by his lips, glinting from the light of the screen.
Crumbs.
Anger rose in Dongmin. “Bin,” he said, trying to keep his tone calm. “Do you mind if I have a word with you in private?”
“I’m kinda watching something here, Dongmin,” said Bin, still not looking at him.
“Just two minutes,” said Dongmin, calm mask very close to cracking.
Bin grumbled a bit, but got up. He kept his eyes away from Dongmin’s as he approached, and walked into the bedroom first. Dongmin caught a glimpse of Jinwoo’s warning look as he closed the door. But the time for warnings was over. Dongmin was angry . This was supposed to be his opportunity to confess, and Bin had ruined it.
As soon as the door was properly closed, Dongmin whipped around to face Bin. “You ate it.”
“Ate what?” Bin obviously tried to look innocent, but did a miserable job at it.
“Don’t play dumb,” said Dongmin, closing in on him. Bin backed away, looking genuinely scared for a moment, but Dongmin moved even closer. “You broke into my bedroom, and you ate it.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” said Bin.
“You didn’t even bother wiping the crumbs off your face, you jerk!” yelled Dongmin.
Instinctively Bin’s hand went to his face, and then his eyes widened when he realized he’d just admitted his own guilt. But instead of apologizing like a regular person would, he had the nerve, the gall, to look defiant.
“Okay, fine, maybe I ate it,” he said. “So what?”
“ So what ?” Dongmin was in furious disbelief. “I invite you to my place, and you sneak into my room, rifled through my bedside table, and eat something I had obviously saved for later! How shameless can you be?”
“It’s not only your place, it’s Jinwoo-hyung’s too,” said Bin petulantly, raising his chin. “He’s the one who invited me. You never invite me anyway.”
“Because he didn’t know you were going to be stealing ,” fumed Dongmin. “You are a thief, Moon Bin.”
“I am not a thief,” said Bin, outraged.
“Then what do you call breaking into someone’s room and eating their food?” demanded Dongmin. “You actually looked through my things to find it.”
“I didn’t break into anywhere, you left the door open,” said Bin. “You left it on the bedside table where anybody could see it. You shouldn’t leave food out in the open like that.”
Dongmin couldn’t remember if he’d put the pepero back in the drawer the last time he’d checked on it, and was too angry to think about it. “I didn’t know Jinwoo-hyung had invited a thief into our apartment,” he snapped. “Why did you eat it, Bin? Are you just that much of a glutton that you can’t let any food go?”
Bin’s face colored. “No--”
“Then?”
“I--I had a craving for chocolate--”
“That wasn’t even a chocolate-filled type,” said Dongmin, leaning in closer to glare. “You don’t even have a reason, do you? You just wanted to eat it so you did. You didn’t even care what I was going to do--”
“What were you going to do?” said Bin suddenly, no longer on the back foot and glaring at Dongmin with the same intensity. “You were going to confess with it, weren’t you? Like some stupid schoolgirl in a webdrama--”
“So what if I was?” Dongmin could feel his face heat up, from anger or embarrassment or both. “So what if I was, you jerkface?”
“Well now you can’t,” shot back Bin. “Now you can’t confess to anyone. Not to whichever loser you were going to confess to, probably smart and good-looking like you, who doesn’t deserve you anyway--”
“Why do you care so much anyway?” asked Dongmin, barely registering Bin’s words.
Bin opened his mouth, and then closed it. His eyes widened as he stared at Dongmin, frozen, and then he quickly turned away. “I don’t,” he said, but he looked flustered.
“No, why do you care who I confess to?” asked Dongmin. The anger dissipated even as he said it. Bin stood in front of him, shuffling and resolutely avoiding eye-contact, and the sight of him was enough to drive out all the anger.
“I told you I don’t,” said Bin, but it came out barely more than a mumble. “You can confess to whoever you like, I don’t--I don’t care anyway.”
“I don’t have anything to confess with now,” said Dongmin, staring at Bin, the way he chewed his lower lip, how he refused to look at him.
“Like you’d need anything anyway,” said Bin with a scoff, but there was something like a bitter smile there too. “You’re perfect. Whoever you’re going to confess to the luckiest person on this Earth.” He scratched his jawline awkwardly. “I don’t know why I even ate the stupid thing,” he muttered, barely loud enough for Dongmin to hear. “It’s not like that would’ve stopped you, and it’s not like you’d…” He trailed off, sneaking a glance at Dongmin and looking guilty, and absolutely adorable.
That one single glance had Dongmin’s heart thudding in his chest. “It… it bothered you?” he asked, and he could feel something burgeoning in his chest, something hopeful. “That I was going to confess to someone?”
Another glance, this one longer. And now Dongmin could see that Bin’s face was red, the color concentrated in his cheeks. “I’m sorry,” said Bin finally. “I’ll buy you another packet, and you can… you can give it to whoever you want.” He looked defeated.
Dongmin took the plunge. “He already ate it, though.”
Bin finally turned to look at him, confused. Dongmin held that gaze, even as he felt his face turn hot. And then, slowly, realization came to Bin’s face, and his eyes widened.
“I am such an idiot,” he whispered.
He sounded so heartfelt Dongmin laughed. “I guess,” he said as he looked away, face still burning.
“You were all yelling at me,” said Bin, still looking stunned. “And, like, super mad. I… I never thought…”
“Yeah, you don’t do much of that,” said Dongmin with a light chuckle. If awkwardness could kill, Dongmin would have died by now.
“So, I just have to make sure of this,” said Bin. “That… that pepero, that was for me?”
“Yes,” said Dongmin, and now he couldn’t make eye-contact.
“Okay,” said Bin slowly. He took a step forward. “So the person you were going to confess to… was me.”
“Yes,” squeaked out Dongmin. Why was this so difficult?
“Okay, I think I got it now,” said Bin. “I just have one more question.”
“Alright.” Dongmin scrunched his eyes shut. His heart was pounding with Bin standing so close, knowing the truth.
“Is it too quick for me to kiss you?”
Dongmin’s eyes flew open. Bin was standing right in front of him, looking at him with that sparkle in his dark eyes. And he was smiling, bright and shining.
“No,” said Dongmin at once.
They kissed. It was soft and innocent, perfectly sweet. The sweetest thing Dongmin had ever experienced.
Better than pepero.
When they parted Bin just stared at Dongmin, eyes sparkling, an even bigger smile on his handsome face. “I can’t believe that just happened,” he said, sounding breathless.
“Then let’s just make sure,” said Dongmin, and he held Bin’s face in his hands and pulled him forward for another kiss.
Dongmin walked out of the bedroom first, Bin trailing right behind. Bin was still giggling. He’d been doing that for awhile now, and no matter how much Dongmin shushed him he just didn’t stop.
The others were still gathered around the TV, the movie just about to end. Dongmin cleared his throat to get their attention. “So, guys,” he said. “I have something to say.”
“You finally confessed?” asked Minhyuk, not looking away from the TV. “Good job.” Sanha gave a little cheer of congratulations as he kept on watching the movie.
“Congratulations, wish you two the best,” said Myungjun, still watching the screen. Jinwoo nodded, eyes fixed on the TV as the final scene played out.
Dongmin stared, openmouthed, as Bin burst out into laughter behind him. And then finally, he grinned. He turned around just as the last of Bin’s laughter died away into chuckles, and locked eyes with him, both of them smiling at each other. Dongmin leaned forward and kissed Bin, feeling his smile against his own.
It was November 11th, and everything was perfect.