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“Dude, I want another kiss.”
Prompto wasn’t paying attention. He was too busy dancing around the living room.
“Prom! Chocolate!”
They’d been working on the bag of Shiva’s Day themed Hershey’s Kisses for most of the afternoon, interspersing the low-quality chocolates with some equally low-quality ones that came out of a cardboard box shaped like a heart.
“Get it yourself,” Prompto said. He was looking down at a chocolate he’d taken from the heart shaped box. There was pink goo oozing out. “Raspberry.” He put it back in the plastic sleeve, half eaten, and picked out another one. “Ugh, this one’s disgusting. Some sort of nut.” Back into the box it went.
“Can’t reach.” An arm flailed between the couch and the coffee table where the array of candies was laid out. “See?”
“Lazy” Prompto scoffed.
“Not lazy.” Noct was burrowed under a blanket with only his forehead sticking out. “Imma prince.”
“In that case, your majesty… As you wish.”
The bag of kisses flew at Noct’s forehead. “Ow!”
Laughter turned to giggles, and Prompto went from standing to doubled over to lying on his back on the floor, kicking his legs in the air. He was laughing so hard he was crying.
He got a perplexed stare. “It’s really not that funny, Prom.”
“Sugar high, dude.”
“Geez, are you twelve?” Noct’s head and shoulders emerged from the blanket so he could rummage around in the bag. He only liked the kisses wrapped in red foil, even though they all tasted the same.
“Yep.” Prompto rolled around on the ground. “What’s your ribbon say?”
“Kiss, over and over again. Just like all the rest.”
“Aren’t they supposed to have, like, a platitude on them?”
“Nah, I think those are the Dove bars.” He balled up the little square of tinfoil and tossed it at Prompto’s head, causing the boy to giggle all the harder before catching it and launching it back across the room.
“Oh! Those are great. Did Iggy pick any up?” Prompto rolled over and crawled to the table. He pawed through the selection of treats. “Aw man, there’s none here. Noct, text him and tell him to bring some over.”
“Nah. He’s got the night off.”
Prompto clutched at his heart. “And he’s not spending it with us? I’m hurt.”
There was a thinly disguised look of disappointment on Noct’s face. “He’s got a date” he said impassively.
“Oh right. Nyx. So much for bros before hos, huh?” Prompto shrugged, seemingly unaffected by the absence of his friend.
“Ugh. That saying is awful.” Another ball of foil was thrown. This one didn’t make contact, ending up somewhere under the entertainment center instead.
“Yeah, but it’s accurate.” Prompto was once more on his feet, hopping back and forth. “So, we gonna watch the movie or what?”
There was a knock on the door.
Prompto jumped and squeaked. “Who’s that?”
“I dunno. Gladio’s not coming.”
“Has his girlfriend moved in yet?”
“Nah. Clarus put his foot down this time.”
“Nea’s not coming either. Pretty sure she’s having an orgy with her girlfiends.”
A second knock.
“Dude, get the door.” Noct threw a third foil ball. “Farm boy.”
“Ugh. Okay. I mean… as you wish.” Prompto bowed low, then skipped over to the door, opening it in a grand flourish. “Oh hey, you did come! Noct, Iggy’s here! Come on in buddy!”
Ignis stepped over the threshold. He held a small white box in one hand and a bag of the platitude chocolates in the other. They were not called Dove bars.
Noctis was up in a flash, somehow managing to make it from the couch to the door before anybody could track him. A hand shot out, planting itself square against Ignis’ chest. “No way. Single ladies only. You know the rules.” He pushed Ignis out the door.
The man held his ground. An eyebrow went up. “I’m here, aren’t I?”
Prompto’s face dropped on behalf of his friend. “Oh man, Iggy. Did Nyx break up with you? Noct, let him in. This man needs some chocolate.”
“We weren’t exactly dating.” Ignis said. Prompto led him into the room and settled him on the couch. The small white box was replaced with an unopened box of chocolate.
“Prom, Iggy brought cake” Noct said from the direction of the kitchen table.
At the same time, Prompto plopped himself on the couch next to Ignis. “So. Dish. You can cry if you want. We’re here for you, buddy.” He looked very pleased with himself.
“Specs, come cut the cake up.”
“Dude, we’re processing Iggy’s relationship over here.”
“I want cake though. It’s his job to serve it” Noctis whined.
“Some friend you are.”
“Some chamberlain he is.”
Ignis took his glasses off and cleaned them. “It’s not a relationship, so there was nothing to break off.”
“They’re fucking” Noct interpreted. He stared down at the cake like it might serve itself if he wished long enough.
“We are not. And we probably won’t, seeing as how I turned down his offer of a date tonight.” He put his glasses back on, speaking in a way that communicated genuine disinterest.
“What? Why? Nyx is so hot! Iggy, buddy, you could be fucking Nyx Ulric right now. Why are you here?” Prompto grabbed Iggy’s arm and stood. “Get back out there and show up on his doorstep or something. There’s a flower shop on the way, pick up a bouquet. You’ve really gotta woo him now.”
Noctis stared openly at Prompto from across the room. Ignis missed the slip-up altogether. “Perhaps I don’t wish to be fucking Nyx Ulric,” he responded, before grabbing Prompto by the shoulders and settling him back onto the couch.
“Prompto. Are you gay for Nyx?” Noctis asked. He came back over to the couch, folding his arms across his chest and cocking his head at his best friend.
A blush spread across Prompto’s face. “No! I mean, everybody’s a little gay for Nyx. He’s like, the hottest man in Insomnia.”
“So yes” Noctis said.
“I guess? Yeah, dude’s a 10. Objectively.”
Ignis gave Prompto a look. “Objectively.”
Noctis shoved Prompto over to the middle of the couch and sat down, then maneuvered him so they were facing each other. “Prom. You think guys are hot. Just give up and admit it already.”
“Nah dude, I really don’t. I’d tell you anyway.” Prompto shrunk down into himself, just a little, but enough.
“Noctis. Leave the boy alone. He’ll figure it out in his own time.”
Prompto twisted around to shoot a glare at Ignis. “Great, yeah. Talk about me while I’m sitting right here.”
They dropped it. Ignis opened the chocolate box and picked through it until he found the one he liked. He ate the whole thing, chewing thoughtfully. Noctis engaged Prompto in going through the platitude candies, unwrapping them and reading them out loud to each other.
“Ha, this one says ‘look to your friends for love.’” Prompto looked into Noctis’ eyes, a mock dreamy expression on his face. “You love me, buddy?”
“You know it.” Noct held his piece up to Prompto, who bit into it delicately. Mock dreamy faded into pure bliss.
“Wow, Noct, that was super hot. You should feed me chocolate more often.”
Noctis smirked. “As I was saying…”
“The prince, feeding chocolate to a commoner? A scandal in the making” Ignis teased from the other side of the couch.
Prompto unwrapped another one and turned around to feed it to Ignis. “What about the commoner feeding his chamberlain?”
Ignis took a bite. The chocolate split into three uneven chunks. He caught the pieces in his hand and did an awkward kind of save with his chin to keep the bit in his mouth from falling out. Prompto sat back against Noctis and giggled. “Smooth, man.”
They chatted for a while, reading wrappers to each other, eating chocolate, and throwing bits of foil across the room. Pretty soon the plastic sheets inside the heart shaped boxes were full of half – eaten bonbons. The conversation shifted to gossiping about crushes and playing fuck, marry, kill. When faced with the choice of Noctis, Cor, and Pelna, Ignis didn’t hesitate before he announced he would marry Noct (in a heartbeat, Highness) and kill Pelna. Noctis pressed and he finally said he had no idea who he would fuck, which elicited a gasp and a “Cor, duh” from Prompto.
“Can I kill two people? I would rather enjoy going up against the Marshal.”
“You can’t kill him, Iggy. He’s immortal. That’s the whole point” Noct pointed out. “Guess you gotta fuck him.”
Ignis changed the subject. His lead – in was so smooth nobody even noticed. “So, Prompto” he said carefully. “Gladio. Hot or not?”
“Hot.” Not even a beat between the question and his answer.
Ignis raised an eyebrow. “Really?”
“Hello. Muscles. Super hot.”
A knowing smile played across Noctis’ lips. “Okay then” he said. “What about Specs?”
“Not. Sorry Iggy, I mean, you’re really great. You have a killer sense of humor and your food is incredible and you’d make a seriously amazing husband. You can be super romantic when you want to and you always look so good in your tailored shirts, and your eyes are gorgeous, especially when you take off your glasses…” Prompto trailed off, then looked thoughtful. “Huh, I guess I take it back. Hot.”
Ignis was not at all flustered by Prompto’s admission. He didn’t flush or fidget, didn’t avoid eye contact or hold it. Instead he said simply, “Thank you Prompto, that’s very kind. And Noctis?”
Prompto, being a very different person than Ignis, flushed deeply. He couldn’t keep himself from squirming. His hands plucked at his sleeves. “Do I have to answer that?”
“Yes” Noctis said. He took Prompto’s chin in his hands and turned it toward him. “Hot or not?”
Prompto went even redder. “Not” he said. He batted Noct’s hand away.
Noctis and Ignis shared a look over the top of Prompto’s head. Noctis shrugged. “All right” he said. “Hey, who wants cake?”
“Shouldn’t we have dinner first?” Prompto was already standing up.
“On Shiva’s day you eat sweets. Only sweets.” Ignis pronounced, like it was a known fact.
*****
“Come on Specky, make the pieces bigger. Seriously, this slice is puny.” Noctis poked at his cake.
“It’s a flourless chocolate cake, your Highness. You will make yourself sick.”
“Isn’t that the point of Shiva’s day? You said so yourself.”
“Everything in moderation” A dry smile teased at the corners of Ignis’ mouth.
Noctis huffed. “Fine. But you’re feeding it to me.”
“Noctis, you are not a baby.”
“I’m a prince.”
Ignis leaned back against the kitchen island, holding his plate delicately. “You keep saying that, but I’m not seeing any evidence to support your claim.” He took a bite of the cake, then looked at it in surprise. “This is quite good. I’ll need to mark the recipe so I remember it for next time.”
“Iggy, everything you make is good” Prompto said. He had already finished his piece and was licking the remaining chocolate off his own plate. “Can I have more?”
“Of course.” Ignis set his dish down and started toward the table.
“Come on, Specs, you’ll stop eating to serve Prom, but you won’t even feed me a bite?”
Ignis just raised an eyebrow.
“Fine. Prompto will serve his prince.” Noctis flopped onto a chair, dessert in hand. “Prompto Argentum, I order you to feed me cake.”
Prompto smiled cheekily. “As you wish” he said, hopping over to the chair next to Noctis and half – sitting on it. He tucked one foot under him and let the other dangle.
“You spoil him, you know.”
Noctis stuck out his tongue. Prompto smiled bigger and batted his eyelashes at Ignis.
They worked their way through the cake, Noctis and Prompto eating the majority of it. Stomach aches were a matter for another day.
*****
Everybody settled into the couch. Ignis sat on one side, Prompto on the other, and Noctis in the middle. He snuggled against Ignis’ side and wrapped his limbs around him like an octopus. Ignis attempted to extricate himself, only to be hugged tighter.
“Highness, I’m having trouble breathing.”
“Shut up and turn into a pillow.”
Ignis pried Noct’s arms off his waist. “There is plenty of space on this couch for three people to sit without crowding.”
“Iggy, it’s The Princess Bride. You’re supposed to cuddle while you watch it.” Noctis wormed his way back into Ignis’ space, this time draping his legs over the man’s lap and curling around him, head resting against chest.
Ignis let out a long-suffering sigh. “Can’t you cuddle Prompto?”
“Yeah, dude, I’m cold” Prompto complained. He shivered to make his point.
“Fine, geez. But my feet are staying where they are.”
Prompto repositioned himself so he was sitting at an angle with his legs crossed under him. Noctis inched up the couch until he was seated in Prompto’s lap. Prompto’s arms settled comfortably into a hug, his chest pressed against the prince’s back. Noctis leaned into him, stretching his legs out so his feet rested in Ignis’ lap. Hands rubbed them absentmindedly.
They watched the movie, chatting all the way through it. Noctis would occasionally decide he wanted something and poke one of his companions.
“Farm boy, fetch me a glass of water.”
“No.”
“Come on Specs, I’m thirsty.”
“Shush.”
“Ugh. Prom.”
“Don’t think that’s my name, buddy.”
“Fine. Farm boy.”
“Yes?”
“Come on!”
“No way, you gotta say it.”
“Geez. Last time I ask you two for anything.”
“What a relief.”
“Shut up Iggy. Farm boy. Fetch me a glass of water.”
“As you wish.”
*****
“On no, he's gonna drown!” Prompto clutched at air until Ignis grabbed his hands and gave them a reassuring squeeze.
“Rodents of Unusual Size! This part always freaks me out.” Fingers dug into the front of Noctis’ shirt and pulled.
“Humperdink. Ha.” Noctis snorted and Ignis rolled his eyes.
“He’s not the Dread Pirate Roberts, don’t you see?” Ignis grabbed Prompto’s legs and Noct sat on his chest to keep him from flailing. “Guys move! Come on, I can’t see! She’s gonna push him down the hill, and-“
A cry of “aaaaas you wiiiish” came through the TV, and Princess Buttercup tumbled after her love. Ignis and Noctis decided it was safe to release Prompto. He immediately rolled off the couch. “It’s so romantic.” Prompto sighed and clutched at his heart. Noctis followed him, positioning himself over his friend like Wesley was doing to Buttercup onscreen.
“Can you move at all?”
“No.” Prompto peered up at Noctis. “You’re alive. If you want I can -”
Noctis kissed him gently on the nose. Prompto giggled.
“Dude, stop laughing. This is serious.” Noct’s hands wound their way through Prompto’s hair. “I told you I would always come for you. Why didn’t you wait for me?”
Prompto tried his best to keep a straight face. “Well, you were dead” he said. He blew a puff of air at his bangs. It fluttered against Noctis’ face.
“Death cannot stop true love.”
“Don’t worry Noct, I would never leave you, even if I thought you were dead. Oh, sorry, scene’s still playing, huh?”
Ignis cleared his throat. “As adorable as your ministrations are, some of us would like to watch the movie, and you’re rather in the way.”
The boys continued on with their lines.
“I’m leaving if you kiss.”
Noctis rolled away from Prompto and stared up at Ignis. “You’re no fun.”
Ignis smiled blandly. “Quite. Noct, my lap seems to be getting cold.”
“Call me Farm Boy.”
“We are well past that point, aren’t we?” The remote in Ignis’ hand gestured toward the TV.
Noctis didn’t move from the floor.
“If you insist.” Ignis called him Farm Boy. He got Noct’s feet in his lap as a reward, and Noct got a bonus foot massage.
“See, Specky? You can be fun when you want.”
*****
“Wait, pause it.” Noctis wrestled the remote from Ignis and pushed pause. "Gladio isn’t here for this part. Whose gonna say his lines?”
Ignis cleared his throat. He un-paused the movie. “My name is Inigo Montoya.” he said, matching the character’s terrible accent. “You killed my father. Prepare to die. You know, the sword work in this scene is actually quite good.”
“Iggy, you missed it. You gotta say it every time.”
Ignis tsked, but he rewound the movie back a few seconds. The man on the screen opened his mouth, and Ignis mirrored him. “My name is Inigo Montoya…”
Prompto made to interrupt him. Noctis clapped his hand over Prompto’s mouth. He pulled back in disgust when a tongue licked up his palm and pushed its way between his pinky and ring finger. “Gross, dude! Now we gotta rewind it again.”
*****
The credits started to roll. Ignis turned the TV off and pushed up from the floor. He stretched and looked down at his friends, considering, before wandering over to the table. There was nothing left of the cake, so he put the waxed box in the trash and carried the dishes over to the sink. He washed them by hand. The china was quite delicate, and it wouldn’t do to have it chipped because someone was careless enough to put the pieces in the dishwasher. When he was finished he did a sweep of the living room, picking up bits of foil and empty bags of candy. He used a set of small chip clips to secure the remaining bags before setting them on the kitchen counter where Noctis would find them later.
A blanket was draped across the couch. Ignis pulled it out from under Prompto and Noctis. It was a difficult task given their current sleeping arrangements. Prompto’s hair was mussed. Noctis had drooled in the boy's bangs, and as a result a large clump was plastered to his forehead. He was lying on his side with the majority of his back pressed up against the couch, twisted at the waist. Noctis was on top of him with his chest pressed against Prompto's upper back. They had their faces sort of smooshed together in a way that looked entirely uncomfortable, and if Noct’s neck stayed at that angle he wouldn’t be able to turn his head in the morning.
Ignis slipped one hand under Noctis' neck and another around his torso. He lifted. Prompto snuggled himself into the couch cushions, shifting to lie on his back in the process. Ignis eased Noct down and carefully positioned his head so it rested on Prompto’s chest instead of lolling off to the side. He covered them both with the blanket and tucked the corners in. Prompto made a noise in his sleep and his eyelids fluttered. Ignis gazed down at his friends, face displaying a gentle fondness. He let himself out with a muffled step followed by a quiet click and rattle of keys. A chorus of soft snores and half-started sentences filled the silence in his wake.