Chapter Text
"Grieving is a process. There is a process of shock, the anger and then coping with the situation. You have to experience all of those levels to move forward, and then sometimes you need help in that."
“This is your fault,” Len said as he turned his glare that moments ago were firmly planted at Ray now at Mick, he gave a shrug. “More yours than mine.” It was Mick’s fault.
-Couple Hours Ago-
The team decided they needed a break from saving what needed to be save. Everyone decided to return to their normal time and then to split for a bit. Coming back in a week. Of course as everyone was heading out in groups to visit friends or family Len couldn't help but notice Raymond hadn't looked so eager about this. He hadn't even packed for that matter. As everyone left one by one Ray, Mick and Leonard himself were to leave last. Ray just sat in the Captain’s chair slouching a little playing with a small rubber ball. “Not packed yet. Aren't you boy scouts supposed to be prepared for anything?”
“Eagle scout,” Ray looked a little annoyed voice but it was fake. He smiled back a little, Len smirked. Leonard found Ray wasn't himself. It was something that Len felt in avid need to know what bothered him. So he decide to banter with Ray. It was their thing, no matter how much the other pretend it wasn't. “And yes we usually are but I am not going out. In fact I am staying on the waverider to make some repairs.”
“Really,” Len just stood there looking at Raymond quickening his pace with the way he played with his ball. Something was off about him and Len couldn't help but be curious as to why. What could Len say he had a mad need to know what made some tick. “Raymond in case you haven't noticed the reason everyone leaving is to get away from work not to do more of it.” Ray just kept tossing the rubber ball up and down delaying a response to give back. Len got annoyed and in one swift strike when it was still in mid air he caught it.
“Hey!” was all Ray could say as Len walked to the center of the room now bouncing the ball on the floor.
“Besides I am pretty sure Jax would kill if you tried to repair anything on the waverider that wasn't broken. Aren't I right Gideon.”
“Correct Mr. Snart I find nothing currently in need of repair or need of Dr. Palmer’s attention.” Len just gave a proud coy know it all smile. But stopped as he saw Ray’s defeated face. He then walked towards Len looking impatient.
“Okay, then I’ll just work on a project or something. So Len can I have my ball back.” He reached out to Len.
But Len wouldn't or more like couldn't. Something in Len telling him he shouldn't let Raymond get away from him. Yearning for him not to leave.
“No.” Len said simply this time without a smirk or smile but a serious demeanor.
“Len I am serious,” Ray started getting into Len’s personal space. Len could feel some heat coming from him. Still all it did was make Len thirst more to what he could he do. How much he could push him he wondered.
“So am I,” he backed a little. Soon Ray gave a deep sigh. Then tried to grab his rubber ball and missed. Len kept tossing the small ball towards on hand to another rigorously. Each time Ray trying and missing getting it. Len couldn't help but laugh a little, Ray just looked more annoyed.
That was it Ray was going to grab both of Len’s hands. However as he was about to Len saw through his plan very quickly. He was encircling him after all. Surrounding him it would be easy to escape though part of Len couldn't help but want to be encased in Ray’s arm.
As Ray reached to grab his hands Len had to think quick. He twist turning his back towards Ray. Putting the small ball inside his shirt putting his hands together pretending to be holding it still. It was lucky it didn't fall out, unlucky for him one of Ray’s hands was able to lock onto his wrist pulling them together.
All that was left was the small ball was comically noticeable in his shirt. Not his best plan he had to admit as Ray looked at the bump in Len’s shirt then back at him with his eyebrow arched. Ray just gave a Len a look that just said really that's your plan.
Len gave a little shrug like, ‘Yup that’s what I got.’ But then another thought came rushing to him.
‘No,’ was all Len could think as he tried to back away but to late. Ray reached out to Len’s stomach untucking his shirt a little. As he did Len laughed a little with a confused look coming from Ray.
“Leonard Snart are you by chance ticklish?”
“No,” Len said it so quietly while looking down on the floor hoping Raymond couldn't see him blushing a little. Len couldn't help but feel like a little kid trying hard not to admit a mistake he had made. This would be fatal to his image.Ray almost didn't hear it he had to walk closer to Len while still holding Len’s wrists. Trying to make sure his grip wasn't too tight to hurt him but not so loose that Len could slip away from him.
“Len just give me my ball back and say sorry. So that I won't have to tickle you to get it.”
“No!” maybe Len was still a little kid.
“No? Really Len you rather have me tickle you then for you to give back and say sorry.”
“Yes!” This time looked Ray straight in the eye. Len looked serious, Ray just gave a sigh and once again tried to get his ball under Len’s shirt.
Len tried to back away as much as he could. As they kept this little fight going, wrestling each other for control. For dominance over the other, Len kept thinking why was he doing this. Then he saw Raymond smile and laugh a little.
‘Yeah that's why I am doing this. Pretty boy got his smile back. Raymond did look off earlier. He wasn't his usual sunshine self and now he looks a little bit better. Even if it was just because I stole his stupid small rubber ball.’ Though as Len was having this train of thought he must of forgotten what exactly he was doing. Because soon he found himself falling to the ground with Ray falling on top of him.
Lucky Ray was able to sort of catch Len and himself making sure they didn't hit the floor to hard. Ray hovered above Len while he held his biceps. They stared at each other.
‘Wow,’ Len thought as he just noticed how close they were especially since both of them were panting quite hard. He also noticed that somehow he messed up Ray’s perfect kept hair into a perfect mess. Len was kind happy about that. Knowing he was the one that made Ray unbound.
“Sorry boss for interrupting but are we heading out or not?” Both Ray and Len looked up. It was Mick with what Len can tell a very amused look. It probably had to do with the fact that both men looked a bit of a mess. After all Len shirt was half way up and Ray looked like someone coming out of a seven minutes in heaven look. Len turned back to looking at Ray who was still on top of him.
“Honestly it's up to pretty boy here if he just let me go or not,” he gave a small wink at Ray. He looked a little dumbfounded trying to find the right words to explain their current situation.
“I was just trying to get my ball back from Len! He had it inside him.” Len just loved Ray’s choice of words.
“Don’t you mean balls,” was Mick’s reply to that. ”Or the one in your hand there.” Ray turned to his left that was currently holding a his rubber ball.
“How did you-?” Ray just stared back at Len. Ray gave up that Len would not explain how he did that. Ray got up and extended his hand towards Len. He took it and got up but didn’t let go of Ray’s hand.
“I was trying to convince lover boy here that he should head out of this tin can and not stay put here.”
“I take offence to that for Gideon.”
“As I do to Mr.Snart as I am not a tin can.” Len could feel he was going to regret that remark. So instead of staying here and make anymore bad remarks to that AI that literally controlled on how well he lived on the ship he decided to finally let go of Ray’s hand. Giving a I surrender motion he turned to walk towards Mick. Ready to head out.
“Why aren’t you leaving?” Mick blurted out before Len was able to leave. Ray gave a nervous chuckle.
“Because…I just don’t want to.” Len turned his attention to Ray again this time he noticed that he was fidgety. ”What is it a crime to want to stay inside.” This time saying his words with some anger, Mick seemed unfazed.
“Is it because of today?” Okay Len was now confused and turned his attention to Mick.
“What's today?” Mick just ignored Len’s question and walked towards Ray instead. Soon he was in front of him and much to Len surprise then placed one hand on Ray’s shoulder.
“Is it?” Mick questioned Ray again who just looked away but turned to face Mick. Once again defeated, he just nodded his head slowly.
“Fine then you definitely can't stay here alone even with the tin can.”
“Not a tin can.” Gideon replied simply, strike two for them. “Listen I am not good at this touchy feely stuff but I do know one of many ways to avoid them. One of them being booze. So why don't we all get wasted and get into a bar fight to forget today.”
“We who?” Len stared at the pair.
“I don't want to get into a bar fight,” was all Ray seemed to care about.
“Fine we'll put that as a maybe but you're coming out or I tell your little secret to you know who.” Ray looked shocked and a little scared.
“Okay! I'll get ready. But only for tonight.” As Ray left to get ready Len turned to Mick.
“You gonna tell me what that's all about or not?”
“I am going with not.” Mick started to leave but Len blocked his exit.
“Mick you know I don't like to be in the dark.”
“Guess you should ask Pretty boy yourself or do you still dislike being close to him more?” With that little remark Mick walked away with Len just watching him leave.
Ray didn't know any bars in Central City so Len picked Saints & Sinners bar. Part of him wanted to scare Ray off with a bar full of criminals but when they arrived he didn't seemed fazed in the least. In fact it seemed like others took interest in Ray. Seeing him as this odd ball of light in this very shady part of town.
Though Leonard noticed that Raymond was less bright tonight still he smiled. Should of figured Raymond would keep smiling but it was fake. Still it did have this pull that brought some interesting people good and bad. So with that plan to scare him was a fail. With no real intention of doing anything Len thought he might as well drink and he guessed Ray thought so to. But they were wrong as Mick had other ideas.
As soon as their waiter left with their drinks Mick once again blurted his thought.
“You should get laid.” Ray choked out his drink while Len more coughed it trying to get his words together. Len eyed Mick, “Not you.” Mick turned his attention towards Ray,” haircut here,” nodding towards him.
“Wait why?” Ray said trying to clear his throat better.
“Another way to it ignore feeling something is by doing something productive. You can do that by being productive with someone,” he said matter factly.
“Make sense,” Len injected. After all Len was not innocent in doing just that at times.
‘To use or to be used by someone to forget another,’ Len thought as he was guilty of that. Len slouched more into his seat looking towards Ray. Yes he could that but Raymond he couldn't picture him doing that to someone. Raymond with too much heart that allowed him to open and care for anyone despite that fact if they deserved it or not. Although part of him just didn't want to witness someone take Raymond away from him again.
However lack of planning for once in a few times went on his side. For one thing this bar didn't exactly have the most honest crowd that he was sure didn't want to socialize with someone as good as Raymond. Another factor was there were more men then there were women so yeah not planning things out helped.
“One problem Mick. Doubt pretty boy here has any game especially here.” Ray straighten himself up and took a look around, Mick didn't.
“Says who? I have game Len.” Ray looked offended at his comment.
“Raymond you say that knowing I saw your game on that scientists in Russia. And look no offense to your looks, I am mean there is a reason we call you pretty boy. But this isn't exactly your crowd and unless you got rich all over again forgetting to tell us in that case you might get a gold digger or two,” he gave Ray a wink at that taking another sip from his drink. “But other than that it's easy to see the outcome.” Ray scooted closer to Len.
“So what you're saying is my looks aren’t the problem but my personality?” Len huffed, scooting closer to Ray now both only a couple inches apart.
”Of course you manage to spin this into something positive. Still I doubt this is the crowd you socialize with. Chances most here are criminals, not to mention there more men here then there are women.”
“Not a problem for me.” Ray gave a smirk back at Len.
‘Interesting,’ came to Leonard mind after all he did think Raymond was bi but he wasn't one to ask another.
“Plus I think I might even be better than you,” Ray poked Len’s chest. This gave Len a chuckle, he was cute when he was angry.
“Or really boy scout.” They stared at each other quietly for a moment with a big smile played on Ray’s face while Len just held a small one. Their little silence was broken however.
“Prove it then. Both of you sit over there by yourselves and see if any of you can get any numbers. While you're at it get me more beer won't you,” Mick showed his now empty bottle.
“Mick don’t make Raymond do anything when the odds are clearly not in his favor. Hasn't boy scout here been through enough. Let him rest.” Len reached to pat Ray’s head when he swatted it away.
“What odds?” Ray tone was a little upset.
“Look we know you’ll try but we both know the odds are never in your favor. You will just end heartbroken by it all. But don't worry your friends will pull you up so relax.” Ray immediately stood up that Mick and Len were pretty sure he hit the table with his legs but didn't yell in pain.
“I can do this.”
“Aren’t you just daring today.” Len stood up adjusting his jacket facing Ray. “Let's make this interesting then shall we. Let's make a bet.” Ray crossed his very strong arms around his chest.
“Fine if I win you have to do my my chores for three months” Both Mick and Len laughed at this. Raymond had chance to make Len do what he wanted and this was what was was all he could come up with.
”Alright then and if I win I get something in return right.” Ray stood silent for a moment probably thinking to himself if this was a good idea or not. To bad he had a couple of drinks in him that might be clouding his judgement at the moment.
“What could I have that you could possibly want.” Len walked around their table once again face with Ray. It's seemed maybe Len had too much to drink also not that he would ever admit to that. He raised his hands and smoothed out some wrinkles in Ray’s jacket.
“Oh there are many things I want from you Raymond but seeing it's only fair I’ll ask for one thing. You have to tell me what's so special about today.” Their silence grew once again. Ray looked uncertain but-
“Fine you're on in a hour we meet back here with Mick.” With that Ray walked away and headed towards the bar counter. Len was left displeased feeling as if he had asked Raymond to do something he knew he wasn't comfortable with.
Mick finally stood upright and faced Leonard himself looking as Ray was chatting up the bartender. They looked like they were having a good conversation.
“That's not surprising,” Mick voiced out loud demanding attention. “But then again he does still manage to surprise everyone from time to time.” Len still looked at Ray who was now talking to another person. “Pretty has a weird way of attracting the bad guys don’t you think. I know some of the Legion of Doom were interested in him, Thawn and Dark. Even the past you had thing for him as a janitor.”
“Shut it Mick.” With that Len went into the crowd.
As Leonard chatted some people up his eyes always kept wandering back to Raymond.
‘Who was he talking to, what was he laughing at?’ All these stupid thought occupied Len’s mind. This wasn't good as the person he kept trying to hit on would notice. They either rejected his advances after that or offer to help him make Raymond jealous if he was into that.
Needless to say Leonard decided this wasn't what he wanted. So after getting only some numbers he went back to Mick. They watched as Raymond continued to talk to someone.
As they sat there waiting Leonard surveyed the bar. It was a habit that he had to look for any possible danger and escapes if he needed one. When he looked around the area he noticed someone at the back. It was kind of hard to see him as he sat in a very dark area so all Len could tell he had dark blond hair with what looked like a brown trench coat. Now he wouldn't really care but this guy was giving Ray a very intense look which of course Ray seemed oblivious to. He also seemed to be talking to someone but their was no one there with him. He attracts the crazy too thought Len. Finally Ray walked back to them. With open arms Mick greeted him back,
“So pretty boy how did it go?” Mick taking slip of his beer.
“Awful." Ray responded with disappointment clear in his voice. Leonard ears perked up to that answer. With a drawl ready he wanted to know more.
“Really didn't look like that from here.”
“Looks like a great chick from here. What she to bad for you to handle.” Mick looked back to the women he was speaking to. She wore a tight clothing that left little to the imagination will she twisted her amber hair.
“Nope. I think I can handle a school librarian.”
“Really?" Mick looked more at the women interest showing in his voice.
“Yeah looks can be deceiving. Oh before I forget here you go.” Raymond passed Mick a piece on napkin.
With a confused looked from both men looked at,“What's this?”
“Her number in case you're interested. If not I got plenty of numbers for you. And of course I didn’t forget you to Len.” Now deep from Ray’s pockets he took out pieces of napkins, wrappers and some paper. It dawned on Len what might of happened.
“Raymond.” He couldn't help but say it like if he was apologizing for something. Ray just scratched and rubbed his face. Letting his hands pass his hair.
“Apparently you two have many fans here. They didn't want to interrupt you two so they asked me to pass their message along.” Again with another fake smile, “Glad I could be your messenger. Now if you guys don’t mind I will be going back to the waverider.”
Before either Len or Mick say anything Ray with his long legs to big strides leaving fast. Len also saw the mysterious blond walking at out to heading out to what appeared Ray’s direction.