Chapter Text
[ tuesday @ 9:53 pm ]
bitchie richie has added eddie K , Stan and billy boy the group chat TMNT .
bitchie richie: if we were the teenage mutant ninja turtles who would we all be???
bitchie richie: stan would obvs be raphael bc hes aggressive, sarcastic and has a deadpan sense of humor
eddie K: um no, raphael is rebellious and stan is not
bitchie richie: stan is jewish and then gay, how much more rebellious can u get???
billy boy: why are u talking about stan like he’s not here
Stan: Yeah wtf
bitchie richie: shut
eddie K: i feel like you’d be raphael richie bc youre definitely rebellious
billy boy: i’m tellin’ you mom, i’m a thug
billy boy: a rebellious child
billy boy: my life be like oo-ah
bitchie richie: BILL
bitchie richie: I LOVE THAT VINE
bitchie richie: but um u cant be rebellious when ur dad is neglectful and ur mom is an alcoholic
bitchie richie: me being rebellious would mean me being an upstanding, good mannered citizen or smth
bitchie richie: also im obviously michelangelo, the jokester and comic relief
billy boy: yeah richie’s def michelangelo there’s no debate
Stan: Yeah Richie is Michelangelo aka the most annoying ninja turtle.
billy boy: STANLEY
eddie K: true
bitchie richie: BICTH
eddie K: okay so now that we’ve established that richie is michaelorangelo who are the rest of us
billy boy: MICHAELORANGELO
billy boy: THAT’S THE BEST THING IVE HEARD ALL DAY
bitchie richie: i, michaelorangelo
bitchie richie has changed their name to michaelorangelo
michaelorangelo has changed their name to michelangelo
billy boy: would eddie be donatello
billy boy: donatello always defends his fellow turtles
billy boy: like my son edgar
billy boy: and he’s the most peaceful ninja turtle
michelangelo: eds?? PEACEFUL???
eddie K: yeah wtf bill just bc i’m the smallest doesnt mean im the most peaceful
eddie K: if anyone’s the most peaceful it’s probably u bill
eddie K: and DON’T CALL ME THAT RICHIE
michelangelo: i kinda think bill would actually be leonardo
michelangelo: bc hes the leader
michelangelo: and im still for stan being raphael
eddie K: i dont think so
eddie K: bc leonardo is described as being “the most serious, the most //spiritual//, the most disciplined”
eddie K: aka stanley
billy boy: i agree
michelangelo: ok tru
michelangelo: i guess ur right
Stan: Thanks guys
michelangelo: was that sarcastic
Stan: For once, no.
michelangelo has changed Stan ’s name to leonardo
michelangelo: ok two to go
michelangelo: eddie & bill
michelangelo: donatello & raphael
michelangelo: so basically: whos more rebellious/sarcastic/angry and whos smarter/calmer/softer
billy boy: i mean,, eddie can be rlly soft
leonardo: I agree, Eddie’s contact name in my phone is Soft Eddie™️
eddie K: rEALLY STNALEY
billy boy: stnaley
eddie K: shut up
billy boy: i amend my statement
billy boy: eddie is a constant ball of anger so i vote that he should be raphael
michelangelo: i agree eddie ur raphael
michelangelo has changed eddie K ’s name to raphael
michelangelo has changed billy boy ’s name to donatello
raphael: exCUSE ME???
donatello: wassup my green frends
leonardo: Richie, this was a mistake.
raphael: im NOT raphael
michelangelo: edwin youre only further proving that ur raphael by being so angry
raphael: leave me alONE trash face
michelangelo: its trash *mouth
raphael: sorry trashMOUTH
[ tuesday @ 11:24 pm ]
michelangelo: i wonder if ppl ship any of the ninja turtles together
michelangelo: if so,,, i would ship donatello and leonardo together and….
michelangelo: michelangelo and raphael together
michelangelo: ;)
raphael: RICHIE THEYRE BROTHERS
michelangelo: fuck
donatello: RICHEJEKJKGEIGJSLF
leonardo: I’m so disappointed in you, Richie.
michelangelo: IM SORRY I FORGOT
raphael: richie how do u forget something like that
leonardo: Can you really blame him? He is the dumbest ninja turtle.
donatello: STANELGEKYFF
donatello: be nice!!
michelangelo: wow leonardo is mEAN
leonardo: Leonardo says go the Fuck to sleep.
raphael: raphael agrees
michelangelo: eds youve finally accepted the name !!
raphael: just go to bed u incestuous idiot
michelangelo: im insulted that u would call my lov for u “incestuous”
billiards [bill] > trash boy [richie]
[ tuesday @ 11:31 pm ]
billiards: gay much??
trash boy: shut UP
billiards: just tell raphael u love him already michaelorangelo
trash boy: shut UPx2
trash boy: u tell leonardo that U love HIM already donatellotubby
billiards: shush
billiards: u sound like a 3 yr old
TMNT
[ tuesday @ 11:33 pm ]
raphael: hmm then maybe you shouldnt have made us the teenage mutant ninja turtles richard
michelangelo: ur right my eddie spaghetti
michelangelo changed their name to bitchie richie
bitchie richie has changed raphael ’s name to eds
bitchie richie has changed leonardo ’s name to stank
bitchie richie has changed donatello ’s name to billy boy
eds has changed their name to eddie K
stank has changed their name to Stan
the Gays ™
[beverly hills, billy boy, bitchie richie, eddie K, eggs benedict, mike wazowski, Stan]
[ wednesday @ 2:03 am ]
bitchie richie: tonight i made a group chat of the og four losers and made us the teenage mutant ninja turtles and it was a gay mistake on my part
beverly hills: do u mean grave mistake??
bitchie richie: that too