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“So… I have no idea how did this end up being my life.”
Firo sighed, while he was slowly transforming one of the back rooms of the Alveare into a makeshift laboratory. Ennis was helping him, silently, moving desks inside, and big boxes that she got from mostly Maiza and Ronny. Firo probably figured he should stop questioning the latter’s involvement, after all, Ronny seemed to be involved in everything.
“I mean… I know the logical answers for that. Of course it’s all because of Cl-- I mean Felix” Firo quickly corrected himself, catching the slip of his tongue. It was a slow process, and frustrating one, but if the new name made his best friend happier, who was he to argue?
And wasn’t it just right, really, the idea that all of this came back to Felix in the end. His friend had been a catalyst, or a big player in so many nonsensical events in Firo’s life, and in seemingly everyone’s life he had ever encountered, that it almost wasn’t even surprising that Felix was involved in the current absurd event as well.
Well, less of an event, and more of a request.
-
“It’s simple, really” Felix nodded, seemingly not even realising how baffled Firo was. “We can’t have biological children together the traditional way. And while we do consider adopting as an option, we figured we would try to have a biological child as well.”
“I… uh, I don’t got how…” Firo was stammering, as his friend stepped forward, clamping his hands on his shoulders.
“Chané told me that you now have the memories of that alchemist, right? I don’t really get much about how that works, but that is the gist of it, yes? And that it was that alchemist who created Ennis, right?”
“R---right, but what does that…”
“Don’t you see? I think this truly proves that the world is mine.”
“Huh?! How?!”
“Chané and I can’t have children like most people do” Felix nodded, not disturbed or uncomfortable at all, while Firo felt like he was screaming internally. “But here you are, my best friend, being able to help us still have a child together. Isn’t this the proof that the world is making sure I can still have what I want?”
Firo failed to follow his logic, and Chané obviously noticed it, pushing Felix out of the way, and just writing something into a notepad, and showing it to Firo.
We would like to ask you to use Szilard’s memories, and create a homunculus child from our cells.
“...oh. That… okay. That’s what you meant. But… why me?”
Chané frowned, writing her answer.
He trusts you, and I trust him. We could ask my father, but there’s a chance he would consider the child to be one of his experiments, and while I am fine with being his experiment, if I need to be, I do not wish to bring a child into this world with the same fate.
Firo chewed on his lower lip, remembering Huey Laforet, and realising Chané’s point.
Can you do it?
“I… think I can. I think I can even create a homunculus who would be a child first, and then grow up, but I don’t know if I could make them immortal in that case…”
There’s no need for that.
“As Chané said” Felix nodded, explaining her thought process as usual. “We would like for them to have as normal life as possible, ya know? As normal as he can get, being our child.”
-
So Firo, obviously, said yes.
It was hard to say no to Felix. It always had been.
“I… am not really sure how am I supposed to start it.”
“You’re going to need some cells from them” Ennis said simply, looking at all the equipment they collected. “That’s how it starts. Usually I would say to get an egg and sp--”
“Ah yes I get it” Firo wasn’t proud of how squeaky his voice got, and how heated his face also got. It wasn’t right for a lady like Ennis to talk about things like that, right? It just simply wasn’t proper. “That won’t work, simply because… uh. Well, it won’t.”
Ennis nodded, not asking questions, which made Firo wonder how much did she know, and realise of the situation. Not that Felix would have made it a secret, but the other Gandors always made sure it wasn’t common knowledge, as one could never know how people would react.
Besides, it was Felix’s story to tell, not anyone else’s, even Firo knew that.
“Blood would work too, doesn’t it? I think…” Firo hesitated, then closed his eyes for a few moments. “Szilard did use blood to create some of... your brothers.”
Ennis nodded, not giving away anything of what she was thinking.
“But before the blood, we need to set up some other things first” Ennis pointed out. “To make sure the embryo will have a safe envoirement to grow in.”
Sure.
He could do it.
Normally he barely had any idea about what an embryo even was, having never been in school at all, but for some reason, the knowledge was right there in the head.
...well, he did know the reason for that.
-
“This doesn’t look like it being safe” Firo muttered to Ronny, looking at the big flask on the table.
“It doesn’t have to look safe, it will hold” Ronny explained, eyeing the flask. “Nine months, the fetus will grow there, and then you will remove them, and then they will be as good as born. If your plans to change the ideas work, either way.”
So much for confidence boost Firo thought bitterly, while looking down at his notes, squinting a little.
“Not like I have to change things, most of these were things Szilard thought of, and actually tried the first time around. The first homunculus he created was born like this, and actually he planned to raise him, but… grew impatient” Firo swallowed the bitter taste in his mouth. “So… this should work.”
“I believe it should. Well, no matter. Get to work, then.”
-
“How is he?”
Maiza glanced at Ronny, as he was walking up from the back room where Firo set up his laboratory.
Ronny lit up his cigarette and slowly exhaled the smoke.
“I glanced into his notes about his plans. His handwriting there was clearly different than his usual.”
There was no well, no matter.
In a way, this simple absence of the verbal tic made Maiza feel more dread about the future that this situation promised.
-
“Wow, when did ya become a doctor?”
Felix’s jovial tone made Firo chuckle a bit embarrassedly, but his hands didn’t tremble as he drew blood from him, and while Ennis was doing the same to Chané, to be more time-efficient.
“Well… I don’t really get it either. It does kinda fly over my head, you know? I’m just… going through the motions.”
He felt Chané’s eyes on him, but he didn’t look up, and it was Felix who talked again.
“Chané seems worried ‘bout you. Are ya alright, Firo? This ain’t asking too much of you is it?”
“Oh, don’t worry” Firo smiled, pulling the needle out of Felix’s arm. “I’m just helpin’ a friend out, right?”
-
The flask seemed unnatural as the contents of it were twirling, but Firo figured it made sense. What they were doing went against everything natural as well.
He looked into the flask, into that twirling, messy, blurry thing, and there was a faint glow coming from it that reflected on the other flasks scattered around the table.
“Now what’s next, Firo?” Maiza asked quietly
“We need to be sure the fetus will develop properly” He didn’t take his eyes off from the flask. “The original experiment that I based the modifications off planned the eventualy grown up homunculus to stop aging, and become immortal. Which means I have to take the immortality out of the picture.”
“You need to rest, Firo.”
“I know, but because I’m growing the homunculus from a foetal stage, it means it’s going to need constant supervision. When I take some rest, Ennis can take over for me.”
Maiza looked at Ennis, who was standing in the corner, and didn’t take her eyes away from Firo.
-
Months were passing, and Firo came up from the laboratory less and less, and grew more and more obsessed with keeping the homunculus safe, and growing.
“My friend asked me to do this, you know” He smiled at Ennis, dark circles around his eyes. “I can’t let him down. He had helped me so much ever since we were children. Now it’s time to pay back.”
“I know” Ennis said simply. “You need rest, though. Trust me with supervising them, alright?”
Firo blinked a few times, and Ennis leaned closer, continuing.
“I know the process, Firo. I can look after them for a few hours. Do you trust me?”
Firo’s brain rebelled against it because…
…
Why did his brain rebel against the thought of trusting Ennis?
“...yeah. Yeah, I do. Sorry, Ennis. I just… probably need some sleep.”
-
Firo dreamt of a forest and shadows.
He dreamt of a town on fire.
He dreamt of screams and whispers, and he woke up in cold sweat, breathing heavily, clutching at his chest.
You know what’s happening, Firo.
He licked his dry lips, climbing out of his bed, and starting to walk back to the laboratory.
You need to…
“No” Firo muttered. “I can do this. Cl-- Felix is trusting me with this. I can’t let him down.”
Can’t let him down.
-
The nightmares got more and more frequent, Firo got more and more quiet, and Ennis didn’t know what else to do, especially as Firo didn’t even sleep in his own room anymore, but dozed off in the small laboratory.
“I can take over the project. Mr. Maiza could probably do as well.”
“I can’t” Firo muttered, staring into the flask.
“Mr. Felix will probably understand.”
“Oh yes, he will” Firo scoffed. “Of course he will. He will understand, and smile and wave it all off, but he will think I was not able to do it. He will… he will know I failed. And I can’t have that. I know, I know Ennis that I am nowhere near as cool as he talks about me sometimes so I have to do this.”
The way Firo pursed his lips was obvious, just like the way he clamped his hands together was too.
He was not going to budge.
“Firo, you need rest.”
“Two more months, and it will all be over.”
Firo stood up from his chair, tired, and that’s when it all went wrong.
He bumped the desk with his leg, and the flask wobbled. Firo grasped after it, and so did Ennis, the two of them managing to hold the flask up.
But under Firo’s hand, a crack formed.
“No, no, no! No! No! Why wasn’t this secured properly?!”
“It was secured---” Ennis started, but Firo snapped.
“Not well enough! It was not good enough! Damn it, Ennis!”
His voice was loud, and sharp, and a single thought entered his brain as they set the flask back up frantically.
It was her failure. Shut her down, try again.
Coldness ran down his spine, and he almost dropped the flask again.
It was like dark spiderweb had completely covered his mind, he could visualize completely what would happen, if he were to…
“...take it over, Ennis.”
“...huh?!”
“You know, how to fix it, I’m leaving it up to you.”
With that, he let go of the flask, leaving it in Ennis’ hands, and ran out of the Alveare.
-
“You will catch a cold out here.”
“I am immortal.”
“It was merely a conversation starter.”
“Weird way to do that.”
“We are talking now, aren’t we? Well, no matter. For your information, we fixed the flask. The fetus did suffer some damage, but nothing that would demand the experiment be restarted.”
Firo pulled his knees up, and just covered his head with his arms, sitting on the ground, in the back alley behind the Alveare.
He heard Ronny walk closer, he felt his overwhelming presence, and he let Ronny pry down his arms, and forcing him to look at him.
“Who are you?”
“Huh?”
“Answer me. Who are you?”
“...Firo. Firo Prochainezo.”
“What else?”
“...Firo Prochainezo. Capo of the Martillo family.”
“Good. Remember that. You are not Szilard Quates.”
Firo gasped, and he felt like a cold hand was gripping his heart, but Ronny didn’t let him go.
“Szilard is as good as gone. Who stopped him from hurting anyone else, ever again?"
“I…”
“Answer properly.”
“...Me. I did.”
“Exactly. His memories and knowledge might be inside your brain now, but they are nothing more than an echo of a man who once was. Just an echo that gets loud if you pay too much attention to it.”
“I… I snapped at Ennis. I didn’t… I would never… And I… I imagined...”
“Then you will go in and apologise. And she knows what is happening with you. She herself knows what it’s like to be in the web of Szilard Quates, do not forget it. Well, no matter. I suppose we are somewhat to blame too, as we all saw you spiral down, and the signs slipping through the cracks. I suppose I owe you an apology as well.”
“No, I… you tried. I wasn’t listening…” Firo pulled himself away from Ronny, pushing back himself to his feet. “...I have to go in and apologise to Ennis.”
-
“I would never want to hurt you.”
Firo’s hands were shaking, and Ennis sighed.
“You need to listen to others more, Firo.”
“I know.”
“You are not an alchemist yourself.”
“I know.”
“Go and get some rest. This is almost over.”
Firo nodded numbly, as he walked back out of the laboratory.
Figures Ennis would take some time to forgive him.
If she ever will, that is.
-
He took back to sleeping in his own room, instead of the laboratory, and one morning, when he woke up, there was a redheaded figure sitting next to him, with a concerned expression on his face.
“Buddy, why did ya do that to yourself?”
“...what…?”
“Ya know what” Felix shook his head. “Ennis told us what happened. I mean a lot of the alchemy stuff is a bit over my head, but I got the gist of it that ya overdid yourself, didn’t you?”
“...I just didn’t want you to be disappointed in me, I guess.”
“Man, ya didn’t have to do that” Felix shook his head again, with an incredulous expression on his face. “I didn’t want to see ya like this, Firo. Learn to speak up your mind, would ya? Damn, man, what am I gonna do with you?”
“...then I have a request.”
“Hm? What is it?”
Firo smiled weakly.
“Please, don't ask this from me ever again.”
-
A few weeks later the little girl was finally born. One of her eyes was opaque, never looking the right way, and two of the fingers on her right hand were fused together, and Firo felt guilt settle into his stomach.
Felix held the small child in his arms, adoration on his face, and a huge smile, as he turned to Chané, who was also smiling softly.
Then Chané stepped forward, gently squeezing Firo’s shoulder, and he didn’t need her to write anything down now for him to understand what she meant.
-
He found Ennis at one of the more secluded tables at the Alveare, when Firo walked over to her.
“So uh. Felix said they do plan on having more children, but they will probably adopt next, so uh… can I ask your help with something else?”
Ennis followed him, even though Firo partially expected her not to.
In the back, in a barrell, there were all the equipment stuffed in, with all the notes, and Ennis looked at him quizzically.
“I mean… part of me knows someone else coulda used these, but… honestly, Ennis, I don’t wanna anyone to use these, you know? I just… wanna get rid of these, ‘cause… and I’m not great with words, Ennis, but I’m just… I don’t wanna ever snap at ya like that again, and all the thoughts in my head, when I did that, I… I don’t ever want that again.”
“Those weren’t your thoughts.”
Ennis finally spoke up, and Firo looked at her, feeling his heart speed up, as Ennis continued.
“I know that… whatever you thought of, they weren’t yours. Those aren’t you.”
“...I know, but, I still… I want to regain your trust, I… but I get if ya won’t forgive me.”
“...of course I forgive you. That’s what family does, right?”
“Not if the family treats you like I did, no.”
“But that’s not you .”
“But I… want to do so that it… won’t happen again.”
“I know you will do your best.”
“That ain’t enough, though” Firo shook his head vehemently. “I… I’m gonna need your help, okay, Ennis? You… you were the one who knew the old bastard the best. So… just clobber me in the head the next time you see him rear his ugly head up again, right? ‘Cause… cause I never wanna be anything like him. And I know I made Felix and Chané really happy, and I wish I could use his knowledge like this, to help people, but… but not to the expense of… how I acted.”
Ennis was quiet for a few moments, and then she stepped forward, putting a hand on Firo’s shoulder.
“We will do our best, then. And I’m sure the others will help. Don’t shoulder this alone, Firo.”
Firo felt his face heat up, and he just awkwardly shuffled from one leg to another.
“Well, uh… can we light this thing up? Just looking at it makes me feel like throwin’ up.”
And so they did.
And it wasn’t until Firo saw the equipment go up in flames, that he felt like the spiderweb around his mind starting to finally unravel.
It was a start, wasn’t it?