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Out of all of the phenomena they’d encountered this was by far the strangest.
Stranger than the time macro viruses had overtaken the ship.
Stranger than breaking warp 10 and evolving into lizard creatures.
Stranger than it all.
“I’ve always found you to be irresponsible and extremely disrespectful, Mr Paris,” Tuvok was wheeling serenely around the bridge in his temporary med chair, much to the consternation of everyone else, “In all honesty I believe Lieutenant Torres could find herself a much better partner were we in different circumstances. Then again given her volatile temper and lack of discipline, perhaps not.”
Janeway planted a hand on Tom’s chest, giving him a sharp but sympathetic look as he surged forward, “Could you report the current situation to sickbay, please,” at his hesitation she pressed harder, “now, Lieutenant.”
“Fine.” Tom bit out between clenched teeth before storming out, in truth Janeway was just the slightest bit envious of him. All of their delicate attempts to confine Tuvok to quarters had so far been futile; much like the borg, a pain-med addled Vulcan did not stand for resistance.
Tuvok had made another circuit of the bridge, this time stopping before the command station, “Commander, I will admit I am intimidated by your over-abundance of emotion, and your disturbingly square physique.”
Chakotay’s reaction was the opposite of Tom’s, his mouth twitching silently in amusement, gaze meeting hers before he addressed his critic, “Thank you, Tuvok.” In an undertone he added, “ I think. ”
Inserting herself between them, Janeway bit down on the inside of her cheek and tried once again to corral her security chief, “Are you sure you wouldn’t be more… comfortable in your quarters, Lieutenant-Commander?”
Because we all definitely would be.
“No, I am adequately comfortable here. Besides Mr Kim is ineffective at my station, and I do not trust his ability to handle any situation that may arise.”
She winced at that, shooting a quick glance at Harry to find him staring fixedly at his console. Only the burning red tips of his ears proving he’d heard the comment at all.
Enough was enough, it was time to address the situation properly.
“Would you look at that,” Janeway made a show of checking her PADD, “It’s time for the senior staff meeting. Commander Chakotay, Lieutenant-Commander Tuvok, if you’d be so good as to join me in my ready room.”
“I was not aware of a scheduled staff meeting,” Tuvok said mildly, wheeling towards the door, “but then with your lax timekeeping and sporadic adherence to protocol, I suppose it is hardly a surprise.”
Ouch.
She shared a look with her commanding officer as Tuvok passed, Chakotay leaning in with a wry sigh, “Well I wasn’t planning on spending my evening babysitting a drunk Vulcan but I suppose if that’s an order, Captain?”
“I wasn’t planning on it either, Commander,” she murmured back, “but if we’re stuck in this situation I don’t intend on facing it alone. Consider it an order.”
“Understood.”
Allowing herself a brief smile, she squared her shoulders and followed the gentle hum of Tuvok’s chair. She was determined to deal with the problem before her crew mutinied. But carefully , after all the only reason they were in this situation was because Tuvok had managed to single handedly save half the crew from a planet of rampaging Sum’Thinengs. A particularly nasty beast native only to one small section of the Delta Quadrant it seemed.
He was a hero.
And it was hardly his fault that apparently Vulcans had such an… extreme reaction to this region’s native pain medication. There was nothing like it in the medical journals after all, but the Doctor had assured her that the effects were most likely temporary, and he would investigate the situation to the full extent of his abilities.
Heaven help them all if it wasn’t temporary.
But that was a problem for another day. For now she’d be satisfied with getting Tuvok safely out of the way, and getting herself a large glass of wine. Real wine. There would be no synthol for her tonight.
---
“-having worked under both of your commands, I think you’ll find my insights in these matters to be invaluable. The first point I think we should discuss is-”
Janeway massaged her temples, the lecture had started as soon as the doors had shut, Tuvok doggedly ploughing on every time she or Chakotay went to intercept him. No matter what ruse they used to try and convince him to return to his quarters, he was undeterrable. Set on pointing out every flaw and foible in both her and Chakotay’s leadership style with true Vulcan efficiency.
She tried to comfort herself with the thought that she was sparing the rest of the crew from the same fate, but it was a paltry consolation.
Taking a steadying breath she was gearing up for the next round when Chakotay got there first, hands braced on his hips as he took over the offensive.
“Well, you do make some very good points Tuvok. Perhaps you could write them up for us in your quarters? I’d like a full report on how we could make the ship more efficient on my desk by 0800 hours.”
“Hmm, that would seem to be a valuable use of my time. I commend you for your openness to advice, Commander.” Tuvok nodded benevolently.
“Then we have an agreement, until tomorrow Lieutenant-Commander.”
“Until then, Commander, Captain.” With one more nod, Tuvok turned, whirling his hover chair around and heading for the door. She felt herself sagging in relief at the sound of the door swishing open, sharing a triumphant look with Chakotay.
“Oh, there is one last point I wish to make--”
Janeway braced herself, forcing herself to smile through clenched teeth as she nodded, “of course, Mr Tuvok. But then I think it’s best you start on that report.”
“Of course, it is merely that I wished to let you know that I find your flirtations on the bridge to be highly unprofessional and frankly a distraction from the work environment. I often wish that you two would, I believe the human colloquial term, is ‘get on with it already,’ if only so that the bridge crew would no longer have to endure it. Even now the underlying subtext of your interaction is both obvious and quite disconcerting.”
There was nothing to do but gape in the wake of his speech, Janeway’s mouth slackening at the brazen way he’d dissected their relationship in a few short sentences, leaving it spread out before them like a failed science experiment. Even the anger she knew she should feel at it was muted somehow, struck dumb by his frank assessment.
And worse at her own creeping fear of the truth in it.
“Lieutenant Commander, that’s enough.” Chakotay’s voice was sharp, he recovered faster than she did as he stepped forward, “we’ve all put up with your insubordination because of the nature of the circumstances, but now you’re crossing the line.”
“Commander.” She reasserted herself, taking a calming breath before giving Tuvok the full force of her attention, “You have said your piece, Lieutenant, and will now return to your quarters.”
“As you wish Captain, I am merely speaking what I believe is obvious to the entire crew, and many other life forms we’ve encountered besides. I can only imagine your own ignorance of it is due to wilful self-deception, as otherwise I would have to question your mental acuity and fitness for command. I have never understood the human propensity to lie to oneself, it serves no logical purpose.”
“You have questioned quite enough, thank you.” She marched to the door, pressing the button to open it and gesturing him through, “You are dismissed, Lieutenant-Commander.”
With a final hitch of his eyebrow, Tuvok turned and left. The door slid shut behind him with a dreadful air of finality, leaving them stranded in utter silence. As if they’d be trapped there forever in the awkward wake of Tuvok’s speech.
She inhaled sharply as Chakotay crossed the short distance between them, her mind racing as he carefully took her arm. Struggling to come to terms with the sudden blow.
"Are you alright, Captain?” His voice was taut, brow furrowed as he leant into her space, “Kathryn?”
Trembling she shrugged his hand off, immediately regretting the loss of contact. No matter how stabilizing it was even that seemed to be a damning indictment of the truth in Tuvok’s words. The painful realization she now couldn’t seem to escape from.
What was that old latin term her father had been so fond of?
In vino veritas.
Chakotay pushed closer again, concern practically radiating off him. “He didn’t mean anything by it I’m sure, the medication--”
“The medication is not the issue, Commander.” She heard herself say, hating the edge she heard to her voice as she met his gaze at last, “Can you honestly deny that there isn’t some truth to what he said? Our professional boundaries… we both know they aren’t what they should be. Hell, if Starfleet Command were here…”
“Damnit Kathryn, they’re not!” his words were unexpectedly forceful, fitting as much passion into a whisper as other men might put in a shout, “Do you really expect us to sit in silence on the bridge for the next seventy years?”
“That’s not what this is about and you know it,” she crossed her arms tightly across her body, as if she could hold herself together with them.
“Fine. Maybe I do. But if you’re asking me to change the way I feel about you, I’m sorry I can’t do that.” He took a shuddering breath, hands clenching so tightly she could see the whites of his knuckles before he released them, “I am however open to other suggestions as to how we resolve this ‘ the Starfleet way’. That is, if you’re not brave enough to face what this really is.”
Anger surged up inside her, hot and biting, even as her knees weakened at his admission. She felt herself flushing, heart hammering inside her chest as his gaze dropped heavily from her eyes to her lips.
“Maybe Tuvok isn’t the only one lacking in judgement this evening,” she measured her words, keeping them deliberately quiet as she tried to scrape together the last vestiges of her authority, “do I need to relieve you of duty and confine you to quarters as well?”
“Maybe you should come with me.”
She couldn’t believe her ears, face burning at his dangerously quiet insinuation. From the expression on his face it seemed he almost couldn’t believe it either, his dark eyes widening. The whites seemed too bright in the low light of her ready room, had it always been this dim?
Struggling to compose herself she lifted her chin, “You are relieved of duty, Commander,” the words were barely a whisper, addressed to a spot a few inches above his left shoulder before she turned away, “and confined to quarters until further notice.”
His hand was on her arm again, somehow burning through the sturdy fabric of her uniform as he spun her around, so close they were sharing oxygen.
“Are you sure that you really want to do that Kathryn?” he asked quietly, “If I’m relieved of duty then you can’t pull rank the same way you always do when things get too personal.”
Her heart felt dangerously close to escaping its confines, bruising her ribs as she met his gaze. There was something so raw in his voice, somehow tantalizing and dangerous all at once. She could feel it shivering down her spine, leaving her hot and cold at the same time as she swallowed hard.
“You’re out of line, Commander.”
“Don’t pretend you don’t feel this too,” his hand dropped, winding around her waist and drawing her closer. She was fighting a losing battle with herself to pull away, his warmth seeping into her every place they touched as he murmured, “We’ve both been denying it too long, Kathryn.”
It felt impossible to breathe, as if the air had turned into something much heavier, thick and sweet as it coiled in her lungs. Every word he spoke stripped another layer of reason from her, every stolen inch another excuse.
They had been denying it for too long.
But they had to, for the ship, for the crew, for themselves, for… for…
"Chakotay,” she breathed his name without meaning too, seeing the bright glow of triumph in his eyes at her slip. Not Commander. She was losing ground by the second.
And she didn’t seem to care.
“To hell with it” she heard herself growl, pulling him against her.
He crossed the final stretch willingly, his hands branding her everywhere they touched. Her heart thundered, loud enough that she swore he could hear it too as he kissed her. His mouth slanted against hers, warm and inviting and painfully real, as if they’d done this a hundred times before.
She clung tighter to him, fingers tugging at his scalp as he groaned against her lips. The sound electric, spiralling through her as the dam between them broke. Threatening to sweep them both away.
“Kathryn-” He rasped, rough and unsteady as he held onto her like a lifeline, “I-”
Whatever he was about to say was drowned out by the metallic chirp of her comm badge, a more unwelcome sound then she’d ever heard before. Almost accusatory as it sluiced through her like ice water, reminding her of everything she’d so willingly put aside.
Her place. His. Their situation.
It bleeped again, sharp and unrelenting, as she reached for it with shaking hands, “Janeway here, go ahead.”
“Captain,” it was the Doctor, brisk as ever as his voice tore into the moment, “If you haven’t already, you must quarantine Mr Tuvok at once. It’s of the utmost urgency, and anyone who has had direct contact with him too. There is an unknown contagion affecting him that somehow has managed to get through the transport buffers. It’s already affected half of sick bay-” the line crackled dimly, “yes Mr Paris, my forehead is wide and off-putting, please return to your bio-bed-”
Clearing her throat she prompted the EMH’s attention, even though she already suspected the truth of it. “Continue, Doctor.”
“Yes, of course - It’s an inhibition reducing virus, passed through physical contact it seems, I’m working on the antidote now but I can’t guess how long it will take. In the meantime I highly recommend locking yourself in wherever you are and avoiding contact with other crew members unless you too want to be spilling your inner most inappropriate thoughts - I said back to your bed Mr Paris, that was not a request.”
Janeway froze, mouth working reflexively as she met Chakotay’s eyes again. Seeing her own thoughts mirrored back, confusion, irritation, lust. And beneath it all the hint of sad resignation that told her that he knew as well as she did that this couldn’t last.
That as soon as they were ‘ well’ again it would be business as usual.
The thought of it nearly crushed her.
“Understood, Doctor,” she replied at last through unsteady breaths, “I believe the Commander and I have also been affected, we’re currently in my ready room.”
“Stay where you are, I am placing you both under quarantine there for now. I’ll try to get Mr Paris up there with the cure as soon as I synthesize it, and he desists in attempting to rub my head for luck .”
Clearing her throat she met Chakotay’s eyes again, his hand still pressed hot against her hip. The fact was the contagion was only revealing what she already felt. What had grown stronger since almost the very first day they’d met, spiralling into something far beyond her comprehension, even as she tried to tell herself that her self control was for the best.
This was an opportunity.
And she was damned if she was going to pass it up now.
Drawing herself closer to Chakotay she unclipped her badge, opening the channel one final time, “No rush, Doctor.”
Switching it off she cast it aside, dropping her last shred of pretence with it and letting Chakotay see exactly what he meant to her.
For tonight at least.