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Michael Mell’s plan was simple. Step one was to book a reservation for two people at that new restaurant which had recently opened up in the centre of town. The second step was to show up, holding a red rose a couple minutes earlier than expected, making sure to look as excited as possible for his date. The third and final step was to slowly lose hope in the possibility of his date coming. Because, of course the date wasn’t coming. The date never existed. Michael’s plan only existed because he was hungry and bored and curious to see how long it would take to land himself a free meal out of pity of the wait staff.
Jeremy Heere’s plan was a little more complicated. The first step was to ignore his anxiety when Christine Canigula, the girl he’d been madly crushing on for forever, proudly declared she had set him up on a blind date. A part of him hoped the date was actually with her, not her friend, and he’d be pleasantly surprised when it was really Christine that showed up on their date. But Christine wasn’t going to show up and announce that she had broken up with Jake, proclaim her love for Jeremy, then ride into the sunset with him. That’s not how Jeremy’s life worked. The second step was to simply show up. The final step was to pray that something good would actually come out of this night.
Michael arrived first. He smirked to himself as his waiter sat him at his table and handed him a menu. This was going to be an interesting night. He made sure to display all the signs of waiting for a date; fixing his reflection in the spoon, constantly watching the window in the hopes of his date arriving, checking his watch every couple of minutes, and sighing, maybe too dramatically, just to be sure the waiters could see he was being stood up.
Jeremy was seated a table down, facing a taller guy with a red jacket and glasses until their dates would arrive and block their view of each other. He shot a nervous smile in the boy’s direction, avoiding any awkward eye contact before burying his face in the menu.
Michael noticed the skinny boy sitting across from him was showing all the same signs of being stood up. The spoon, the window, the watch and the sigh. Heck, he even had a red rose. The only difference being that this guy’s emotions were evidently genuine, or he was simply an incredibly gifted actor. Michael couldn’t help but feel bad for the guy, even a little guilty for pretending to experience the same problem.
“Are you ready to order, sir?” asked Michael’s waiter after ten minutes of pretending to wait for his date. Michael let out another sigh and shook his head.
“Not yet. My date still hasn’t arrived.” The waiter nodded and turned to walk away before Michael stopped him. “A Coke would be great, though!”
It took Jeremy fifteen minutes to lose all hope of his date showing up. He decided although his date was definitely not coming, he would stay at the restaurant as long as possible. His dad was supposed to pick him up when it was over and he wasn’t in the mood to embarrass himself when his father asked how his first date went.
Almost three quarters of an hour into the night, Michael had already downed four glasses of Cola and finally began to notice a couple of waiters looking in his direction and whispering to each other. Jeremy also noticed, and sunk into his chair, assuming they were discussing how pathetic he was.
After a few more minutes, Jeremy looked up from his phone to see two waiters hovering over his table. He let out a small cough. “Is everything okay?” He asked.
“Everything’s fine. We just couldn’t help but notice neither of your dates have turned up.” His waiter explained.
“Oh, sorry. I can go if you want-”
“You’re perfectly welcome to stay! In fact,” His waiter smiled at the other. “We thought you and this gentleman could join tables and get to know each other, you’ve obviously both had a rough night.”
Jeremy looked up at the boy across from him, who was looking back having heard the suggestion himself, with an expression that said ‘why not?’.
“Why not?” Jeremy shrugged. He felt a little embarrassed knowing the two of them had in fact been continuously making awkward eye contact for the duration of the evening, but only conversing for the first time just now. Perhaps this boy would be the good thing that came out of this night. “Jeremy Heere.” He introduced himself.
“Michael Mell,” said Michael warmly, standing up and extending his hand across the tables. He gathered his belongings and moved himself to Jeremy’s table, offering Jeremy the rose with a smirk as the two waiters left the two to talk. Jeremy took the rose with a soft chuckle, offering Michael the one he had brought himself.
There was an uncomfortably awkward silence for the first minute of their ‘date’ before Michael took his chance and broke it by saying: “Alright, I’ve got to be honest. I wasn’t stood up. I just wanted a free meal.” In which Jeremy burst out laughing.
“Are you serious?” Michael nodded “You’re a genius.”
“Chaotic Neutral.”
“I’ll say!” Jeremy fiddled with the sleeve of his cardigan “I should be honest too. I didn’t really want to be here in the first place. The girl I like set me up on a blind date, so I secretly hoped from the start for it not to work out. I'm kinda relieved i god stood up. Not relieved about public humiliation, but you know.”
Michael sat, looking at Jeremy for a few seconds, “This could be considered meet-cute, you know.”
“It could.” Jeremy agreed.
“I’d consider it meet-cute.”
“As would I.”
“Alright, we’re a whole two minutes in, and neither of us has made a ‘quick trip to the bathroom’ to sneak out and avoid the other person forever. I officially declare this a date.”
Jeremy laughed “I’m sure one day we’ll tell our children the story of this fateful day!”
Michael Mell did not end up receiving his free meal, in fact he didn’t consume anything after all the Cola. Instead he met his favourite person in the world, whose meal he would happily pay for any day.