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“I can’t fucking find him anywhere,” Taako mutters to Merle one evening, throwing himself into one of the many Magnus-crafted chairs in the living room.
“Maybe he already died?” Merle suggests gruffly. “Have you asked Kravitz and the Boner Couple if he’s in the Astral Plane?”
There’s no need to ask who Taako’s looking for.
“Lup and Barry say they can’t find him. Checked out the Eternal Stockade and everything and no cigar, my dude.” Taako slumps in the chair until his hat begins to shadow over his eyes, shoulders slouched up to the dangling drops on his ears.
“And Kravitz?” Merle presses and Taako’s eyes shadow over for half a second, so briefly that Merle could almost convince himself that it’s just the flickering shadows accompanying firelight.
“I haven’t asked.” Taako says dismissively. “Telling him ch’boy is off on a murder quest during date night isn’t exactly priority, you feel?”
“Uh-huh.” Merle snorts. “Cause your dinner conversations so normal to start with right? What’d you do today honey? Oh I just reaped some necromancers today, how was your day?”
“Shut up.” Taako flips Merle the bird, his bangles jingling merrily even as he sinks further into the cushions. “Whatever, so he’s not in the Astral Plane. For all intents and purposes he just fucking up and disappeared after Craftsman’s Corridor collapsed.”
“Maybe Magnus already killed him?” Merle suggests in the tones of a person that doesn’t believe the bullshit coming out of their own mouth either. “I’ve seen Fantasy Memento on stage a few times. Maybe he killed him and forgot?”
“If that was a thing, it wouldn’t have held such fucking value to those freaks in Wonderland would it?” Taako snaps. Merle holds out a placating hand, thinking wearily to himself that they need to hurry up and find this asshole before Taako snaps under the weight of duty first.
“Okay, okay, keep your panties on, geez.”
“I will pay you a million gold pieces for you to never say that word again.” Taako deadpans at Merle and Merle chuckles, making a note to use the word as often as he can in Taako’s presence.
“Okay, so he’s not dead and he’s not creating any more chaos as far as we know.”
“Nah, if he was we would have heard about it.” Taako throws his hands up in the air, wildly gesturing at something above them. His bangles go wild, and for a moment, Merle is concerned that one of them is going to spin up and off of Taako’s hand and into someone’s drink. Concerned might be the wrong word; it would be hilarious. “We’re fucking famous! Someone who knows about Magnus has to know about Kalen and someone would have said something if they knew anything about that fucking creep.”
“He doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who’d be content to lay low though.”
“Yeah, but he’s gotta know he’s in some deep shit. He fucked over Magnus Burnsides and Magnus has a crew of fucking aliens at his back and they will mess his shit up.”
“So how do we go about trying to find someone that doesn’t want to be found?”
They lapse into an uncomfortable silence, tinged with irritation on Taako’s part and resignation on Merle’s, who had really just been planning on enjoying a nice smoke. He’s about to say something when Taako sits up in his chair, eyes narrowing in on a person passing by and Merle turns to see who Taako’s looking at, even as he calls out,
“Oh Lucyyyy!”
The tension rolling across her back is visible as she hunches over, freezing mid-step. For a second, Merle is certain that she is going to flee, but then she turns. Her shoulders pull back as she does, spine realigning itself as though she’s preparing for battle, an air of deep resignation hanging heavy on her shoulders. “Merle. Taako.” She nods at them curtly as she says their names, more Director than Lucretia, wary and tired. “How can I help you two?”
“Can’t we just call you over cause we miss you?” Merle asks reproachfully and Lucretia looks about two muscle movements away from an eye roll.
“From you, maybe. Taako,” She glances at him and the two exchange a terse silence.
And then he smiles. It’s not a pleasant smile; it’s over exaggerated and more of a baring of teeth than anything else and when he speaks, it echoes like splintered glass in her ears.
“C’mere Lucy. I don’t bite.”
She looks pained but steps closer anyway, and Merle’s impressed; he can barely see her feet dragging against the hardwood floor.
“You managed to hide from dear old Barold for a fair amount of time.” Taako starts and Lucretia’s jaw tightens in response.
“Yes.”
“How did you manage that?” Merle asks, watching Lucretia retreating before his very eyes, behind the walls she throws up whenever the past decade is brought up. “How did you manage to hide away all that time?”
“Well to be fair, no one remembered that I existed.” Lucretia says wearily. Taako mutters something about how some things (“people”) are better forgotten forever under his breath and she does them all the favor of politely pretending that she hadn’t heard, carefully avoiding eye contact with Taako.
“Look, just help us out with this and you can go and do whatever boring, irrelevant thing it is you do these days.” Taako drawls when he’s done talking to himself and it’s the closest thing to a life buoy that he’s willing to toss her these days. “If you didn’t want anyone to know where you were, how would you go about doing that?”
Lucretia frowns and cocks her head, regarding the two of them carefully, as though she can find the answers to the questions she has in their postures. “I’ve asked enough questions like that to assume this isn’t a hypothetical.” Lucretia’s words are measured, delivered slowly with care. “It might be easier if you told me who you’re looking for so I can tell you if I can help.”
Taako’s expression flips from a facade of pleasance to mutiny so quickly it gives Merle whiplash just looking at it. “It’s what we call a fucking need-to-know basis, and since I barely need or want to know you-“
“The name’s Kalen.” Merle cuts in again, and Taako makes a noise of outrage from beside him but whatever, the kid’ll fucking deal. “You know anyone by that name, hon?”
He and Taako watch in fascination as blood drains out of Lucretia’s face and she looks faint for a moment, as though she might collapse.
“Shit, Lucy, did you fuck him on accident or something?”
“Don’t be crude,” She responds mechanically, and unceremoniously drops into a seat.
“That’s not a n-“
“No! Of course not!” She snaps at him. She covers her mouth and looks anxiously in the direction of Magnus, who’s looking over at them with concern. He motions as though to get up from his conversation and she shakes her head furiously, motioning for him to stay seated, relaxing her expression into a smile. Magnus raises an eyebrow, but retakes his seat as Lucretia gestures again that everything is fine, and allows him to be drawn back into conversation with Sterling who just wants to know where the fuck things went wrong with building the stupid bar he’d promised for Merle.
“How sweet.” Taako croons at her. She shoots him a sharp look as she smoothes her skirts, recomposing herself.
“So I take it you know the name?” Merle asks and she nods, color rising high in her cheeks as a look of mortification settles across her face.
“I…may know the reason you can’t find him.”
“He’s not dead, if that’s what you were going to say.” Taako says loftily, determined to be unimpressed, and Lucretia shakes her head sharply.
“No. Of course. I know.” She swallows, braces herself. “I know.”
“And just how do you know that?”
Taako and Merle watch Lucretia carefully, suspiciously, but unsure of what. They know better than to underestimate Lucretia these days.
“You didn’t kill him, that’s for sure.” Taako says tightly; Lucretia nods.
“No. No I didn’t.”
“So where the fuck is he?” Taako demands and Lucretia exhales heavily.
“He’s buried about…twenty thousand leagues under the earth, give or take a meter or so.” She says wearily and Taako frowns.
“The fuck are you talking about? We just established he’s not dead.”
When Lucretia meets his gaze, her jaw is set and she’s never looked more grim.
“He doesn’t have to be dead for me to bury him.”
It takes a moment for the words to register and when it does, Taako’s lips curl wide.
“You bitch.” He says delightedly and he’s forgotten himself, speaking loudly enough to attract the attention of Magnus, who looks over, startled. He looks wary, and isn’t that a hoot, Magnus being nervous about what Taako is going to do when it’s Lucretia who fucked them all over.
But right now that’s neither here or there and he flashes Magnus a bright, Taako-from-TV patented smile as Lucretia tries to convince him with her eyes and hands that they’re all fine and that there’s no reason for Magnus to come over. Merle just shrugs when Magnus’ questioning gaze rests on him and Magnus hesitantly returns to his conversation.
When Magnus stops looking back every twenty seconds, Taako turns back to Lucretia, smile dropping off of his face.
“All right, what the fuck do you mean he doesn’t have to be dead for you to bury him?”
“Exactly what I said.” Lucretia says primly.
“I’m not playing your stupid little mindgames, all right? Just tell us or fuck off, okay?” Taako hisses at her and she gives him a look that says she would like very much to bury him for a minute or so and Merle clears his throat.
“Lucretia, I’m an old man. The curiosity is literally killing me.” He tells her and she makes a half-hearted noise of protest. “And if you don’t tell us in the next minute or so, I’m going to cast Zone of Truth.”
“Oh Merle.” She sighs, but begins. “It was…It was after Raven’s Roost was bombed.” She looks down, unable to go on for a moment. “I thought the worst. I couldn’t find out what had happened to Magnus and had to face the fact that he might be dead and it almost killed me. He was supposed to be happy, and you know, at the beginning, he was. He was so, so, happy, for a while, anyway, and then when that happened I just-I was distraught.”
Taako makes a quiet noise but Merle nudges him and Lucretia continues, deaf to Taako’s comments, lost in her own narrative.
“I was a wreck. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t think, I couldn’t eat, I-“ She stops herself, closing her eyes like it hurts to think of it and she’s hunching in on herself like it hurts. Her expression spasms, contorting with grief, and for a moment, she looks like she is going to sob. Merle looks around; luckily Magnus isn’t looking. He looks back when Lucretia picks up again, her expression gone blank. “I couldn’t focus on anything else. So I put everything to the side and I went after him, and when I found him I-I couldn’t bring myself to kill him.” She swallows again, hard, and stares at her hands, which have begun to tremble in her lap.
“What, you’re too good to have blood on your hands?” Taako challenges and she looks up at him, her expression distant, as though she’d momentarily forgotten he was there.
“Death wasn’t good enough.” She says blandly, sounding far away, and Taako leans back in his seat. “It still isn’t. I cast Imprisonment on him and that’s how he ended up under the earth.”
“Lucretia, that must have been years ago, how is he still down there?” Merle asks and Lucretia shrugs, coming back to herself.
“I used to pull him up on a regular basis to refresh the spell and then I’d throw him back down there. Every time I thought that would be the time I’d kill him, but then I’d think about Magnus and how it was also my fault and I just…I just couldn’t. I didn’t have the right. So I found a way to cast a permanence on the spell and then I just…” She shrugs again and exhales shakily. “I forgot about him. When I found you three, I planned to give him back and let Magnus do what he wanted but then the Hunger started coming and there were more important things to focus on and I just…forgot about it until now I suppose. I can let Magnus know now and-“
Taako and Merle both shake their heads furiously and speak over each other, while trying not to let Magnus overhear.
“You can’t tell him.”
“He doesn’t remember Kalen-“
“It was the price in Wonderland-“
“He made us promise-“
“We can’t let him know-“
Lucretia just looks back and forth between them, bemused and trying to make sense of their hushed, babbled words.
“Well shit.” Lucretia says, once everything clicks and Merle chuckles.
“We could just chuck Kalen at Magnus and hope he reflexively kills him?”
The looks of disdain and exasperation Merle receives are so eerily similar that Merle almost feel like it's the old days. Taako speaks as though he’d never heard Merle’s suggestion, Lucretia playing along because it’s better than addressing Merle’s suggestion.
“We did promise to kill the fucker on his behalf, so we can just do that.”
“I can dispel the Imprisonment whenever you want.” Lucretia offers. “Really, it’ll be a weight off of my hands.”
Taako shoots a sharp glance at her and Lucretia levels a look back at him, their momentary alliance in the face of Merle’s ridiculousness already dissipating into steam.
“This is for Magnus, if that’s what’s bothering you.” She tells him wearily and Taako shrugs innocently, fooling a grand total of zero people.
“DIdn’t say anything homie.” He says casually, and Lucretia doesn't even suppress her un-directorlike snort as she turns to Merle.
“Just tell me when and I’ll do it.” She says, her voice going soft. “I don’t need to be there when you do it. I don’t even need to know what you’re going to do. Just promise me, you’ll make sure he gets what he deserves. ” Her eyes glint then, a dangerous spark in the dim lighting. “Promise me that it will hurt.”
She jerks when long, multicolored fingernails cover the top of hers, digging ever so lightly into her skin. The smile Taako aims her way is a sharp dangerous thing, all edges and no humor. And yet it’s a smile and Lucretia hates the way she revels in it anyway.
“Just leave it to ol’ Taako.” He says and Lucretia nods.
On the other side of her, Merle buries his face in his hands, muttering something about how he’s a new and improved dad, as well as an Earl now, and how he can’t keep gallivanting off and turning people into plant fertilizer, he needs to set an example, and showing people they can use trash like Kalen as compost was deceitful and irresponsible. Lucretia smiles fondly at him before continuing in a low voice.
“When I dispel it, he’ll return to where where I last cast the spell. It shouldn’t be hard to find; I dragged him to where Raven’s Roost was and buried him there at first, but the last time I sent him away with the permanence, it was from my office so he’ll show up back in there.”
“How the hell did you get him anyway?” Taako asks, narrowing his eyes at her. “Why doesn’t Killian know about Kalen?”
“The Bureau was more of a work in progress then.” Lucretia shrugs. “The Moon Base hadn’t been set up when I originally went after him and back then I used to be in the field more.” She pauses and her voice gets tight. “Killian was there, even then, but I couldn’t-it was personal. I didn’t want her to know-“ She swallows, her words catching in her throat. “I didn’t want her to know what I was capable of doing.”
Taako opens his mouth, some inevitable comment about how no one ever knew what she was capable of and her doing it anyway coming out of his mouth, but Merle’s already pulled his foot back and kicked him in the shin. Taako shuts his mouth and glares at Merle, who pretends not to see and turns his attention back to Lucretia.
“But how’d you find him hon?”
But Lucretia just shakes her head, the same weary, down-trodden expression of too many years and too many heartbreaks gone by settling across her face. She bows her head and looks back down at her hands, speaking to her lap.
“Just a lot of sleepless nights.” She tells her intertwined fingers, sounding tired. “A lot of heartache and vengeance; it wasn’t a good time. He wasn’t as smart as he thought he was.” She looks up for a moment to offer a smile, but it’s a weak and wan thing and looks how Merle imagines revenge feels.
Merle wonders again at what Lucretia had experienced during that decade alone on her moon. They had all had their own issues, their own heartbreaks and personal tragedies, that was clear, but Lucretia’s decade remained as much an enigma as ever. Whenever anyone asked, usually Lup or Magnus, she would just shake her head and hide behind glib statements of “keeping busy” and “nothing interesting” which had to be the biggest lie of the century. Whatever Davenport knew, he kept under wraps, and so their decade together continued to be a mystery.
She’d changed so much during that year of judgment and they’d clearly made the mistake of glossing over it too much, too quickly, because they’d landed on another plane so soon. She’d changed so much after that one year; how much more had ten years done to her?
“Well, no time like the present, homie.” Taako’s voice breaks through Merle’s rumination and he unfurls himself out of his seat, all moving fabrics and glittering accessories. “Let’s go do like Maggie and rush in to kill this motherfucker.”
“Now? I just got comfortable.” Merle complains, clambering out of his own chair and glances at Lucretia. Her head is bowed again, with the weight of something too heavy for Merle to name, and he wonders if finishing this will lift some of that weight. He hopes it does. “Come on, hon.” He pats her knee and she looks up at him, looking lost and lonely, and something inside of him twists. He motions for her to stand.
“Go keep Magnus busy while we take care of business like adults.” He tells her and she chuckles quietly, following him towards the table where Magnus was heatedly explaining the importance of joints and structure stability to Sterling, whose eyes are beginning to glaze over with regret over asking. So much regret.
“This one’s for you, Maggie.” Taako says, giving Magnus an over-exaggerated lip smack on the top of his head before sashaying away and Magnus just waves him off, looking both fond and exasperated.
“You know, one of these days, he’s going to have to admit that he’s being civil to you because he misses you and not because of me.” Magnus tells Lucretia as she slips away from Merle and onto the bench beside him, his arm automatically coming up and slipping around her waist. She leans her head into his shoulder and closes her eyes.
“It’s so much easier to be kind to you than it is to me.” She tells him quietly. And then, suddenly anxious, eyes flying open, “You know we’d do anything to make sure you’re happy, right? That you get everything you deserve?”
“Got everything I could need right here in this house right now.” He tells her cheerfully and she smiles, guilt tearing her up inside because that wasn’t quite true, was it? But that was guilt that could wait for another day and when she made it to the Astral Plane, she’d spend another century begging for a certain soul's forgiveness for not protecting their happiness well enough and thanking her for giving him what she couldn’t those long and lonely years.
Later, when the wine’s run low and people are starting to say their goodbyes and make their way down the cliffside of Merle’s manor to the beach and to their choice of transportation, a hand grasps Lucretia’s shoulder and stops her in her steps. She barely manages to swallow the yelp that had been flying out of her mouth and turns, eyes wide. Taako’s eyes glitter at her ominously, flicking to Magnus for a moment, who’s still hugging Carey and Killian further down the hall, and back to her.
“It’s done.” He tells her grimly. And then, offhandedly, “You might need a new office.” She nods at him, heart still pounding in her throat so she can say something, anything, but he’s already moving away.
She reaches out and grabs his wrist before she has a chance to think about it and maybe it’s better this way, because if she thought about it, she’d never have the courage. He stiffens and looks back at her.
“I think our business is finished and it’s not like I really have anything else to say to you-“
“If I had known about Sazed and Glamour Springs,” She interrupts, because what the hell, it’s now or never, and Taako’s expression immediately hardens and begins to shutter into indifference, tugging to reclaim his hand. She holds on tighter and speaks faster now, before he can shut her out completely and leave, because she needs him to hear what she has to say. “If I had known about Sazed back then, I would have done the same thing. I would have made him pay.”
His expression doesn’t change, he doesn’t say anything, and Lucretia exhales shakily. She was expecting, what exactly? But it needed to be said; she needed him to know, selfish as it was. Gods, she was so selfish these days.
Taako reaches down with his free hand and carefully peels Lucretia’s hand off of his own and places her hand back by her side as she hangs her head, defeated.
“I know, Lucy.” He says, and above her, his voice is thick, rough around the edges, almost a rasp. She looks up and he doesn’t smile at her, of course he doesn’t, but his eyes are almost gentle as he turns and walks away.
She watches him go, trying to place a name to what she’s feeling and failing.
“What was all that about, Luce?”
Lucretia starts, hand flying over her heart, and turns, thinking bitterly that these people are all very bad for her heart in more ways than one.
“Magnus!”
“That’s me.” He chuckles down at her and his eyes flicker towards Taako’s retreating back before raking over her carefully. “You okay?”
“I’m fine. We’re…fine, I think.” She tells him, and it’s not really a lie. At least she thinks it isn’t. “We were just talking about something.”
“Oh? Anything important?” He asks and she thinks for a second before shaking her head and loops her arm through his.
“No, nothing of the sort. Just talking about you.” She say fondly and pats his arm as he laughs, bumping his hip into hers in response.
She’s glad he can laugh, she thinks as they make their way to the transportation sigil, exchanging a knowing glance at Merle as they pass him and say their good-nights.
She’ll do everything she can to make sure he keeps laughing in this world.
And as they walk away with the moon paving the way, she can’t help but think about how she hadn’t been lying about not talking about anything important.
Because Kalen wasn’t important, not anymore.
After all, he wasn’t anything at all, now.
Kalen’s knees slam into the packed dirt as the woman above him pushes him away from her, her fingers finally letting go of his hair. He looks up, half a swear and half a plea on his lips, but both lodge in his throat as he sees her gaze back down at him and he thinks this woman could be a queen. But then the fury and madness in her eyes flare and he thinks she might be a goddess instead, one who accepts sacrifices of blood and one he hopes never again to meet.
“Once upon a time,” She breathes at him, chest heaving, hand outstretched and trembling. “Once upon a time, there was a man and he was the kindest, noblest, strongest man that ever was and he deserved to be happy.”
Her hand and lips tremble and he stares, afraid to breathe.
“He was supposed to be happy.”
“And you took it away.”
He opens his mouth to say something, defend himself, tell her he has no idea what the hell she’s talking about but the protest shrivels up and dies in his throat as she continues.
“His name was Magnus Burnsides.”
“And you took him away.”