Work Text:
It had been four months since Steve read your letter and decided to come back to the Avengers Compound, to face his new life without you. Nat had been the buffer between Tony and Steve, but mostly for Steve’s sake, she didn’t want Tony making stupid comments. Steve was finally doing better. He was finally starting to seem like himself again. Well, that was until the Avengers went on a mission that was supposed to be simple, but ended up ripping old wounds wide open…
————————————
Your POV
It was weird at first, not being able to remember anything when you woke up, but you had gotten used to it pretty quickly. The doctors said you had been injured on an important mission, and that your memory being gone was an after affect of dying. Luckily they had gotten to you soon after, managing to bring you back to life. If your memories were lost to you, it was a small price to pay to be alive again in your opinion.
It took awhile after waking up to get back into fighting shape. They told you that you had been one of their best operatives in the field before you died. Your talents were much like those trained in the KGB and Red Room, specially like Black Widow. You had read her files, she was definitely powerful, but so were you. For some reason, reading file meant you had a lot to prove, especially after dying. You wouldn’t make that mistake again.
After months of training, they were finally letting you go out on a mission. You could finally prove that bringing you back wasn’t a mistake or a waste of time. You would not fail this mission, under any circumstances. The mission was pretty straight forward. You were to intercept a group of enemies about to move in on a base that housed top-secret information. Capture, but kill if necessary.
—
You arrived at the base just in time. You could see the figures moving in, but one member of the group caught your eye specifically… Black Widow. You backed up the files to your flash drive before making your way to the red haired spy. You still had the advantage of surprise, no one knew you were there, that you had been tracking them since they arrived. But just as you were about to make your move on Black Widow, a large man with a shield joined her side. You contemplated on whether or not you should back off. You much preferred to take them out one by one, but you were eggar to prove yourself.
You came out from the shadowed hallway you were hiding behind, rushing at the 2 bodies from behind. The spy was the first to turn around and attack you, throwing little electrical orbs that you dodged with ease.
“Wait. What the hell!” The red haired woman said with over whelming shock, which you ignored as you laid attacks her way.
“Y/N…?” You heard the man with the shield question, as you landed a kick to his gut when he made his way towards you.
“Y/N, it’s us! Steve and Nat. We don’t want to fight you! Please just talk to us!” The woman tried saying to you, still only just blocking your movements instead of fighting back.
You were getting annoyed, at her not fighting back, then the man with the shield managed to get both his arms around you, locking you in his grasp firmly. You tried to kick and squeeze yourself out of his hold, but it became very clear, very fast, that it wasn’t working. You were only tiring yourself out.
“Please calm down. Let us take you back home, we can help you.” The man said, his tone hurt and broken down. You didn’t know why both of these people were acting like they knew you. You didn’t know them. They were just your mission. A mission you were failing horribly. You were definitely going to be in trouble when they found you, or if you managed to make it back to home base.
“Do it Nat. We have no other choice. She won’t go with us like this.” The man told the red head, who was holding a needle filled with liquid.
You tried to make another attempt to escape the man’s hold, but before you could even move an inch, you felt the needle enter your skin, and seconds later you felt yourself get groggy before everything around you went black.
—
The darkness was starting to fade, and you could start to see a view of different monitors surrounding you, measuring different vital signs. The man who captured you was sitting beside your bed, but this time he was in plain clothes, gone was his blue and red uniform. You attempted to move your arms, but found yourself strapped to the bed. You made enough noise from your struggle to wake up the man beside you.
“Don’t try to get out, you’re locked in pretty tight. We figured you would try to escape if we didn’t use restraints. The man said with a strained voice. Like he had been from Hell and back since you were put under.
“Do you remember me? Do you remember anything?” He questioned you. It was a real question. One you knew he genuinely wanted to know. He wasn’t trying to scare of threaten you in anyway. It threw you off guard. You expected to be threatened, to be tortured for information, not asked.
“Am I supposed to?” You answered back plainly, taking in your surroundings from your view in bed. The room looked vaguely familiar, but you couldn’t understand why. You had never been here, there was no reason for you to think you had been.
“Do you even know who you are?” The man asked you, drawing your attention back to him. It was then you noticed tears were filling his eyes. Why the hell was he crying?
“I work for HYDRA, but I’m sure you already knew that.” You answered back strongly, not letting on that you were seriously confused about everything that was happening.
“Who ever told you that was lying to you Y/N…” He answered back, not missing a beat, but before you could question his response, the woman with red hair entered the room. The woman you knew as Black Widow.
“I’m glad to see your awake, how are you feeling?” She asked you, but before you could reply, the man mentioned you didn’t remember anything.
What the hell were you supposed to be remembering?
“I’m Natasha, this is Steve, and you’re Y/N. We’re family.” The woman who named herself Natasha told you, moving closer to where you and the man, who’s name was Steve were.
“We aren’t family. HYDRA is my family. You’re my enemy.” You said back with distain and disgust in your voice. They were clearly trying to brainwash you, confuse you to join their cause.
“No Y/N. Nat isn’t lying. Look, this is all of us together…” Steve answered, bringing a picture of you, Steve, Natasha, and other members of the team you were sent after, sitting together, laughing. It looked foreign, but you couldn’t deny that it was you in the picture.
“I don’t remember. All I know is that I’m a HYDRA agent, and that I was sent to stop all of you from gaining our intel. Who ever is in that picture, she doesn’t exist anymore.” You told them, trying to sound unfazed. But in your mind, you were starting to question everything you were ever told about who you were.
“Please don’t say that. Please.” Steve pleaded with you, taking you off guard by grabbing your hand firmly, like he was scared you were going to disappear.
“Why is this so important to you? Why am I so important?” You questioned. Looking directly at Steve, ignoring Natasha completely.
Steve met your gaze, tears flowing freely down his perfect face. For some reason it made you ache inside to see him upset. All you wanted to do was reach out to him, make him feel better, but you didn’t understand where that reaction was coming from.
“I know you don’t remember, but I love you. We all do. But your my best girl. I won’t ever give up on you. I’m here for you. To help you.”
It was that one single line that triggered something in your mind, and made the wave of memories flood your mind like a tidal wave. You shut your eyes in response, clenching Steves hand who was still attached to yours, from the pain of overload in your mind.
You got sucked into the last memory you had before you died, Steve holding your cold body, Tony with a panicked look on his face. You remembered telling Steve you loved him. You remembered everything. You were his best girl he said. Then everything went dark.
“I know you’re thinking I’m heartless. I know you’re thinking I’m cold. I’m just protecting my soul. I’m never gonna get too close to you, even though I mean the most to you. I’m way too good at goodbyes.”