Chapter Text
Walking.
You check your watch. Shit.
Running.
Sprinting.
No way in hell or Hogwarts were you going to be late for the first class of the semester. Not to mention, you just transferred to this school for your senior year so you really wanted to start it right. You slow down to a brisk walk as you round the corner to your classroom.
“Ooompf!” You yelp as you clash into someone and fall to the ground. “What the-“
“Oh my god I’m so sorry!” A voice suddenly speaks up and you realize someone was trying to help you up.
“No it’s okay, it was my-“ Only now did you actually raise your head and look at the person in front of you. Tall. That was the first thing that slipped into your mind. Gorgeous too. Holy Hufflepuff.
You shake your head of your thoughts and realize you haven’t finished your sentence yet. What a cliché.
“It was my fault. I was rushing in.” Because you were going to be late for class. Class. You check your watch again. Still enough time to make it.
“I have to go! I’m so sorry again!” You say quickly and leave her but offer one more glance before entering your classroom.
She was still standing in place smiling and you felt your cheeks burning up so you finally enter the door. Well that was unexpected.
You shake your head and scan the classroom. A familiar brunette waves you over to her. You walk into her direction and sit, more like slump, down next to your best friend, Elle, who you’ve been friends with since childhood but both went to different high schools. Well until now.
She chuckles. “You made it.”
You drop your head on the table and groan. “If only it was that simple.”
“What do you mean?” She asks you curiously.
You narrate how you bumped into a super beautiful girl. You pause your story a moment later when the same redhead you were just talking about enters the room.
Elle glances at the direction you were looking at and shrieks in delight. “Laura Hollis, do you have a crush on our resident jock Danny Lawrence?”
“You know each other?”
“Yeah, we’re both in the soccer team.” Soccer. Oh right Elle was in the team. Danny Lawrence huh. So that was her name. Uber cool.
“Oh my god, oh my god.” Elle suddenly exclaims and hides her face behind the open book in front of her. You follow her gaze and notice a raven haired girl walk into the classroom. She was clad in all black, all leather bound and just striking.
“She’s in our class Laura. I can’t believe it.” Elle pulls you from your thoughts.
“Uhh, who is she?”
“Top girl of the school? Cheerleading captain? Breaker of hearts?”
You shrug, clueless. “You may have forgotten I just transferred and I’m new here.”
Elle groans. “Know her or not, I need her to be my lab partner.”
You chuckle. “All yours Elle.” Right in that moment your lab teacher approaches your table.
“Please take out a slip and read out the name of your lab partner.”
You pick one out and say the name out loud without registering who it was. “Carmilla Karnstein.” You look up scanning the classroom and the same raven haired girl from earlier waves her hand and winks at you.
“What? Laura, switch with me!” Elle whisper yells at you.
“What? I can’t! I said her name out loud!” You whisper back and grab your things to go sit next to your new lab partner.
Your lab partner, Carmilla, was watching you as you walked towards her desk. You try not to get flustered about it. Breaker of hearts? You totally get why now. She was damn attractive.
“Hi! I’m Laura Hollis.” You extend your hand in a handshake which she returns.
“I think you already know my name, cutie.” She smirks at you.
You just roll your eyes and sit next to her. Wow this girl was pretty full of herself.
As you looked sideways you spot Elle across the one and only Danny Lawrence. What the. Elle was already looking at you like you two needed to talk after class ASAP. This was a very weird development if you say so yourself.
You bring your attention back to Carmilla and realize she was reading something. You widen your eyes as you realize what it was and try to grab the piece of paper from her grasp. She was thinking ahead of you though as she dodges your attempts and continues reading.
Damn it you didn’t even notice her taking that piece of paper from your file book. “Give it back!”
“If you didn’t want anyone to see it then you shouldn’t have left it lying around cutie.”
“You are infuriating!” She just smirks.
“Poetry?” She asks you curiously.
You blush in your seat. “Song lyrics. But I write poetry sometimes too.” You tell her in a small voice. This was embarrassing. No one has ever read your lyrics aside from Elle. Carmilla just smiles at you and begins reading.
You fail not to notice how her eyebrows scrunch while reading.
“These…these are really good. So honest.” Carmilla tells you sincerely for the first time without any hint of flirting.
“I uhh yeah-“You were stuttering again damn it. “I tell me…me self…myself that a lot. It’s why I don’t let other people read it.” You bite your lower lip at the admission.
Carmilla looks at you with a burning gaze and hands the piece of paper back to you. “I feel honored then.” She smiles genuinely at you noticing how uncomfortable you were right now.
You nod your head meekly. Hopefully lab would be over quickly. All you wanted to do was disappear right now.
--
Finally the bell rings and you gather your stuff before heading out. Carmilla stands up and heads for the door immediately but stops in her tracks and turns back to you.
“See you later cupcake.” That makes you swallow a bit. You nod at her and continue fixing your stuff.
A figure then approaches and you look up to see a dazzling Danny Lawrence smiling at you. “Hey, just wanted to apologize for earlier again.” She tells you.
“It’s…nah it’s all good. Don’t worry about it.”
She chuckles. “That’s good to hear. I’m Danny Lawrence by the way.”
“I know.” You cover your mouth then. “I mean yeah, I’m Laura Hollis. Nice to meet you.”
“Cool. Hey I better go. Catch you later Hollis.” And with one last stunning smile she goes and leaves you planted in your chair.
This was a very eventful morning. You think as you start to walk out of the classroom too. An arm suddenly pulls you to the side and you’re dragged away by Elle and forced to sit on a bench shocking a fellow student who was already there.
“Out, come on.” Elle tells the poor student. The student started scrambling right away and left you two alone.
“Elle what the hell.” Hey that rhymed.
“Did you say anything about me? To Carmilla?” She frantically asks you.
“No? Was I supposed to?”
“Come on Laur, this? This is perfect. You get to spend an hour and a half with her every other day.” Elle says adamantly. You just raise your eyebrow at her still not getting the point.
“You can convince her to go out with me.”
“Elle, she’s had that option for like three years now.”
She sighs. “Okay tell you what, if you do this? I’ll help you warm up to Danny.”
Your eyes widen at her proposal. Now that you think about it, this idea might not be so bad. “Okay yeah. I’ll do it.” What could go wrong?
Elle just grins at you. “That’s my Laura.”
--
The afternoon sun felt really nice against your skin as you sat on one of the benches in the stadium. It was soccer try-outs and you promised Elle you’d watch her. And maybe because a certain redhead was going to be there too.
The soccer team finally jogs out to the field. Elle waves at you and you wave back. “Go get them Elle!” You yell at her. She laughs and jogs back to her teammates.
You spot Danny too and your heart stops when she looks back at the bleachers and actually smiles at you. When you finally register what was happening you smile back and give her a thumbs-up.
“Smooth sundance.” Carmilla suddenly says beside you.
“What the hell I didn’t even hear you sneaking up on me!” You clutch your chest as emphasis.
Carmilla just chuckles at your dramatic display.
“What brings you here anyway?” You casually ask her.
“Cheerleading practice cupcake.” That’s when you actually took her in and register she was in a cheerleading uniform. Red and yellow, Silas colors. Tight top and miniskirt, the complete cheerleading ensemble. Okay wow. Carmilla looked really good in her uniform.
Wait what? Nope Hollis, stop right there. Carmilla wasn’t an option. Besides you already had your eyes on Danny. Keep telling yourself that.
Carmilla looks at you expectantly and you realize you haven’t said a word till now.
“Ohh…I see. Cheerleading huh? Good luck in practice!” You say too excitedly. God what is happening to you?
“Thanks cupcake. Though practice doesn’t start in a few minutes. Mind if I hang out with you a bit?”
“Sure! I don’t mind.” You definitely don’t mind at all. What? Who said that?
“So what you got there?” She asks as she sits down next to you.
You look at the open notebook on your lap. “Ohh uhh nothing…just trying to come up with a new song.”
“Ahhh that’s interesting. So what’s your deal? Musician?”
You squirm in your seat. “Well I do sing a bit but I’m more of a writer. I dream of becoming a journalist one day and I don’t know, I guess song writing was another way of expressing myself.” It baffles you how you were able to admit that to Carmilla so easily. Someone who you just met yesterday.
You expected a mocking laugh or something similar just like everyone else who found out about your dream but Carmilla smiles at you instead. “If you’re interested we could jam some time.”
“I would love to actually. You play any instrument?”
“Guitar, yeah.”
“Wow, cool, that’s really awesome. A cheerleader and a musician huh?”
She chuckles. “I think being a really great song writer and future journalist beats that by a longshot. It doesn’t help that certain song writer is cute too.”
You roll your eyes again. “Charming. Sorry for you though, your charms won’t work on me.”
“Of course they won’t. That’s why it’s more interesting.” She smiles at you knowingly and stands abruptly. “I have to go, practice starts soon. See you in class cupcake.” She winks and walks away.
It was fun, this back and forth with Carmilla. It was harmless and light. Totally not serious with the flirting. Right?
--
Elle finally comes out of the girl’s locker room and you approach her.
“Hey million dollar baby. Thanks for waiting up.”
“Sure thing. How was practice?” You two start walking to the dormitories.
“Went really well. Guess what, Danny agreed to help me with extra practice. I can use that time to give a good impression of you.”
You really missed this, Elle by your side. It was the best decision to transfer to Silas after your parent’s split. You opted to stay with your dad and you both moved back to Styria. The divorce was hard on you but you try to go on with life amidst it.
“Wow that’s really great! Carmilla actually just invited me to a music jam.”
That gets Elle’s attention. “Wait she knows you sing?”
“Actually, she knows I write music. She read some of my lyrics during class.”
Elle looks at you with a shocked expression. “Finally! Someone other than me has seen your talent!”
You chuckle. It was true. You were really shy to show the world your works. They were just so personal they were practically a retelling of your life and feelings. It was scary, sharing this part of you to others.
“I’ll make sure to ask her to consider you while we hang out don’t worry.”
“Thanks Laur. I really missed you, you know.”
“I missed you too Elle.”
--
You find yourself in the school’s theater. Carmilla was supposed to meet you here for your jamming session. You walk inside heading for the stage where a sole spotlight shone.
Elle gave you a brief rundown on Carmilla the other day. So apparently she was the most popular girl in school. It actually didn’t feel that way when you’re with her. She just felt like a regular human being you could be good friends with.
Carmilla was also known for being the biggest heart breaker in Silas. You’d see her dating a girl one day then the next week it’s a different one. You try not to let this bother you though. Dad taught you not to judge someone before getting to actually know them.
“Hey, you made it.” Carmilla’s voice calls from the stage where she was now standing on.
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” You reply and jump onto the platform. Only now that you were close to Carmilla that you notice her holding up a guitar.
“So I was hoping you’d show me some of your songs? If that was okay with you.”
This was unexpected. You didn’t think Carm would be this interested in your songs. “Uhm yeah. Sure we can do that.” You rummage through your bag and bring out a piece of paper.
“I wrote a new song just last night. If you want, you can help me with the melody.”
She smiles. “It would be my pleasure.”
You try not to blush at that. “So here’s what I have as of now.” You take in a calming breath and start singing the intro of your new song.
(x)
Daisy, always climbing up the same tree
Finding love in all the wrong scenes
Daisy, you got me
Anxiously, you look back up at Carmilla before continuing. She then positions her hands on her guitar and starts playing a simple melody based on your first verses to accompany you.
You bop your head a bit and continue singing now with Carmilla playing the guitar.
Daisy, always walking down the wrong streets
Starting fires out of dead weeds
Daisy, you got me
You lock eyes with her and you’re glued. This moment felt so electrifying. You two are connecting on a different level it was crazy.
Let me show you how a kiss should taste
Trust me I won’t give your heart away
Why’re you running, running?
When you got it right here
Ohh I would love you if you’d let me
On the next verse, Carmilla actually sings the harmony with you reading the lyrics on your lap. Your breath hitches a bit but you try not to let it show.
Daisy, always dancing to the same beat
Broken records stuck on repeat
Daisy, you got me
Daisy, don’t you know that you’re amazing?
Broken hearts just keep on breaking
Carmilla strums an outro with her guitar as the song ends. Now that the song was over you were suddenly self-conscious.
“So yeah, it’s not finished yet but uhm, what do you think?” You nervously ask her. You don’t even know why her opinion meant so much to you. It just did.
“It’s beautiful cupcake. Thank you for sharing it with me. I’d love to hear it again when you finish writing.”
That makes you smile. “Thanks Carm.” It felt nice, sharing this moment with her. It felt normal, natural, like it was meant to be.
“So who’s Daisy?”
“Uhhmmm uhhh, well.” Crap you didn’t think Carmilla would actually ask about details of the song though.
Carmilla just looks at you patiently waiting for an answer.
You sigh. “It was you. The song was about you.”
That catches her by surprise. Her mouth was slightly open trying to come up with a reply.
“Yeah.” You continue while Carmilla stayed silent. “So this session was fun. Let’s do it again some time!” You say a little bit too perky.
Carmilla shakes her head of her thoughts. “Uhh yeah I’d love to.” She was now looking at you with a burning gaze that makes you squirm.
“Okay. Awesome. Bye!” You squeal and jump off the stage and out the theater without looking back.
You were still running away dismissing the burning sensation in your lungs right now. What the frilly hell was that? Why was your heart beating so hard it could have shot right out your chest? You knew what was happening but you couldn’t acknowledge it right now.
--
It was time for lab again and you were terrified of facing Carmilla. You’ve never felt that way before. Well you’re still in denial but it was hard to stay that way when the feeling was still deeply lodged in your ribcage.
Plus, it was time to actually study a dissected frog. Which you are so not comfortable with. That thought actually makes you woozy a bit.
You notice Elle come in with Danny. Well that was interesting, Danny was laughing at something Elle said. Elle then spots you and gives you a wave which you return. Danny also gives you a smile before heading to their desk.
Shortly after, Carmilla strides in her cheerleading uniform with a Silas sweater on and it’s like all the air in the room just got sucked out. It was getting harder to breathe as she walked closer to you. Why was it getting harder to breathe? It was just Carmilla. Super gorgeous Carmilla.
“Hey.” Carmilla says in greeting.
“Heeey.” You drawl with an awkward wave. “So uhm. Sorry for running out on you yesterday.”
She shrugs. “It’s no biggie. Don’t worry about it cupcake.”
You release a sigh of relief. So Carmilla didn’t think running off like that was weird. Or maybe she was just being nice and didn’t want to tease you about it.
Your glance lands on Elle again and you notice her giving you signals. You roll your eyes, luckily you two have known each other for a long time that you could understand her signs.
“So interesting thought, have you ever thought of going out with Elle?”
Carmilla looks at you raising her eyebrow then glances towards Elle’s table. Elle smiles at Carmilla and she gives a polite smile back.
“Uhm, no.”
“No?”
“No.”
“But…”
“I mean she’s my type but she’s just not the right girl for me.”
“I don’t know, I think there may be more to her than you think there is.” You wiggle your eyebrows.
She just chuckles at that. “You know I think you’re the first person in this school who hasn’t tried anything with me.”
“Trust me, you’re not my type.” Totally not true. But you weren’t going to admit that out loud.
Carmilla tilts her head in question at that. “Why not?”
Shoot. “Uhmm well. You know… I just don’t think of you in that way. We’re friends, you know.” It was true. You really did love her company. “You’re actually one of the few here who I feel comfortable around.”
“I feel the same way about you.” She says sincerely.
I feel the same way about you. You swallow a bit and try to compose yourself.
“Good. So yeah, I guess try to take my advice. Go out with Elle.” You give her a small smile.
“I’ll consider it.” Why didn’t that sound as great as you thought it should?
You shake your thoughts and go back to the dissected frog in your desk.
“So what’s this?”
“I think it’s the spleen.”
“Ohh.” You actually faint with that note.
--
Elle helps you walk back to your dorm room after your little black out during lab. That was so humiliating. You can’t believe you actually fainted in front of the whole class. In front of Carmilla. You groan in annoyance.
“Here we are. Come on let’s get you in bed before you pass out on me again.”
“You’re not cut wide open like that frog Elle. I’m okay.”
Elle doesn’t look convinced and helps you lie down on your bed.
“Better careful than sorry Laur.”
You roll your eyes. Elle really was like your big sister. She always took care of you like a mother hen.
“Also, good news.”
Elle glances at you curiously. “What?”
“I got Carm to consider you.”
“What? No way!” Was it just you or did Elle not seem as happy as you thought she would have been.
“Yeah! You’re halfway in!”
“Wow, thank you Laura.” She smiles genuinely and gives you a hug.
“It was no problem.”
“Are you going to be okay on your own? I still have practice.”
“Go. I’m a big girl Elle. I can handle myself.”
“Fine, fine. Laters miss strong independent woman.” She says and exits your room.
Now what. You had a whole free evening. No pressing assignments needed to be done.
You’re taken away from your thoughts as a knock sounds on your door. Elle must have forgotten something.
“Come in!” You’re about to stand and open the door when Carmilla enters. You weren’t expecting her at all.
“Carm, hey! What brings you here?”
Carmilla shyly walks towards your bed and sits down at the end of the mattress.
“I just wanted to see how you were doing. You hit your head pretty hard when you fell.”
She was worried about you? You try not to think about it too much. But apparently your body doesn’t have the same idea. Well you did say try.
“I’m alright. I have a thick skull.” You knock your head lightly to prove your point.
Carmilla chuckles at your theatrics. “That’s good.” You notice she wasn’t rushing to leave.
“Hey do you maybe want to watch Harry Potter movies with me?”
She just raises her eyebrow at you. “Or not, I mean if you’re busy…”
“I can watch with you.”
“Ohh. Cool!” You grab your laptop and place it on your lap. You scoot over to the side and pat the space next to you. Carmilla moves over beside you.
You play the Sorcerer’s Stone and just sit back. It felt nice having Carmilla next to you. It was something you could get used to.
--
You and Carmilla hang out a lot now. She would either go to your dorm room and you’d chill with a movie or you’d hang out in the school café if you weren’t too busy with the newspaper or schoolwork. She even helps you gather stories all around the school for publishing.
Today it was another music jam in the theater.
You haven’t written anything new since Daisy though so you two were just singing to any song that came to mind. Turns out you two had similar taste in music.
“Hey could you teach me how to play?” You’ve always wanted to learn how to play an instrument but never actually had the patience to finish music lessons when you were younger.
Carmilla pauses her strumming and looks at you curiously. “You want to learn how to play the guitar?”
You nod your head eagerly. “Alright, buckle up creampuff.” Carmilla hands over her guitar to you.
You hold it close to you simulating how Carmilla held it.
“Okay first let me teach you some basic chords.” Carmilla moves behind you and holds your left hand positioning your fingers in the guitar neck.
“So this is the A chord.” You hold your fingers in place and try not to notice Carmilla’s breath on your neck. “Good, now try strumming.” You do just that but a weird strained sound comes out instead.
“Press the strings tighter. Okay now try again.” You follow her command and try to strum and it sounds better this time.
You squeal in delight. “Oh my god that sounded like a legit note.” You continue strumming the same note over and over again feeling really ecstatic over it.
Carmilla chuckles. “Why don’t we play a song together?”
You knit your eyebrows in confusion. “How?”
“Like this.” Carmilla places her hand on the guitar neck. “I play the chords and you strum alright?”
Your face brightens as you understood what Carmilla was planning to do. “Okay got it.”
She presses the strings and you strum in time as she changes from one chord to another. You were getting the hang of this. You’re surprised when Carmilla starts to actually sing along.
(x)
You lift my heart up
When the rest of me is down
You, you enchant me
Even when you’re not around
If there are boundaries
I will try to knock them down
This was the first time you heard Carmilla sing. Wow she had such a beautiful voice. This was a voice you could listen to forever.
I’m latching on babe
Now I know what I have found
I feel we’re close enough
Could I lock in your love
Now I’ve got you in my space
I won’t let go of you
Got you shackled in my embrace
I’m latching on to you
Carmilla stops singing and you turn to face her. Okay bad idea. Now her face was really close to yours and you’re frozen in place. You watch as Carmilla’s gaze flickers to your lips then back up your eyes.
“That was really nice.” Your voice seems to have broken whatever was brewing between the two of you. You feel relieved and not at the same time.
“Yeah, you played well.”Carmilla tells you softly.
You chuckle. “I had the best teacher. You have a beautiful voice Carm.”
She smiles sheepishly then. “Thanks cupcake.”
Couldn’t this girl be less adorable? It was really hard not to have a crush on her if she was acting sexy one moment then cute the next. Yeah you finally admitted to yourself you had a crush. Ugh. The worst crush ever. How were you going to explain this to Elle now?
--
You wake up from your nap as you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket. It was hard to get up as you just felt really comfortable right now. You lean your head closer to the pillow when you hear a soft murmur of disapproval next to you. Wait what? You force your eyes open and realize you were leaning your head on Carmilla’s shoulder. Definitely not a pillow.
Right, you two dozed off after watching season three of Doctor Who. Oh my god you were practically sleeping on Carmilla. You gently extract yourself and instantly miss her warmth. Thank goodness she was a heavy sleeper so she couldn’t see your furious blushing.
Why’d you wake up again? Ohh right your phone. You take it out and read a message from Elle.
Elle:
Wanna grab lunch with me and Danny?
Elle was with Danny? Actually you noticed she often hung out with Danny these days. You look sideways and decide to ask if Carmilla wanted to go with you.
Laura:
Sure. I can bring Carmilla along too
Elle:
Perfect! 12 at the diner?
Laura:
Sure. See you there :))
Elle:
;)
“Hey Carm.” You gently shake her shoulder. Carmilla just groans at the interruption. This is just too cute. You kind of feel bad waking her up because she just looked so peaceful. You laugh softly as she does this twitchy action probably because of a dream. A weird dream. Did Carmilla just purr like a cat?
Carmilla then groggily lifts her head up and opens her eyes. How does she still look so perfect even with messy hair and all?
“Why are you awake?” She says still in a bit of a daze. “And why are we sleeping on the couch?”
You chuckle softly. “A, you were sleeping on the couch and doing adorable twitchy things that I can only imagine involves sleep murdering a…ball of yarn.” That was probably the cutest moment of Carmilla. “And B, Elle invited us out for lunch.”
“Five more minutes.” She murmurs.
That makes you laugh. “Carm we’ve slept like two hours already. Come on grumpy pants.”
She groans but stands up from the couch. “This better be worth it sweetheart.”
--
You and Carmilla arrive at the diner and you hurry ahead to open the door for her.
“After you my lady.” You beam at her.
“Ohoh hoh.” Carmilla smirks and enters the diner.
Once inside, you hook your arm around Carmilla’s and you both go around looking for Elle and Danny.
“Laur over here!” Elle waves at the two of you.
“Hey!”
Elle stands and gives you a hug. You give Danny a smile after which you and Carmilla sit down in the opposite booth.
“Elle. Xena.” Carmilla casually greets.
“Fang face.” Danny replies and Carm just smirks at that.
“Glad you guys made it.” Elle tells you both.
“Sorry we’re late. Someone here.” You look pointedly at Carmilla. “Overslept.”
“Well I wouldn’t have fallen asleep if someone here didn’t force me to watch Doctor Who.” She bites back.
Elle laughs at your exchange. “You two seem to be getting along well.”
“I tolerate her.” You joke in which Carmilla only rolls her eyes at.
“You can’t resist me at all cupcake.”
“Well then, why don’t we order something first?” Danny cuts in.
“Cheese burger and fries for me.” Carmilla glances at you then. “And chicken and waffles for you? Plus milkshake?”
You nod your head at her. This was a diner you and Carmilla frequent so she practically knew your usual now. You two always share a milkshake whenever you came here too. Elle staring at you with an odd look which you return but don’t mind further.
Lunch went pretty well. You stole a lot of Carm’s fries but she didn’t mind. Though Carm and Danny were low-key insulting each other every opportunity they got. Turns out these two didn’t get along much but they fairly behaved today, thank goodness.
You did notice how close Danny and Elle seem to be now too. Danny would casually drape her arm over Elle and she didn’t mind at all. Weird thing was you weren’t jealous whatsoever. You’re not even hyper aware of Danny like before. Maybe your crush on her wasn’t that big of a deal after all.
Or maybe because you had eyes for someone else now.
You push that thought back and focus on waiting for Elle outside of the diner. Carm had cheerleading practice and Danny had some errands to do so you two were left alone. You hear the bell of the door ring and look back to see Elle coming out.
“Ready to go?” You ask her.
“Yeah, lets.” Elle loops her arm around yours and you two walk away.
“So…” Elle drawls. “I have something to tell you.”
“Elle I know you. You only sound this way when you’re guilty.” You’re starting to get worried.
She just laughs at that. “Well… kind of yeah.”
“Just spit it out.”
She halts her walking and you pause to look at her.
“I think I like Danny.” You widen your eyes at her confession. “Like really like.”
You seem to be speechless right now and Elle must have taken that as a bad sign so she continued to ramble. Probably a trait she got from you.
“It’s just that we started spending so much time together. Danny and I. Believe me I didn’t even think this was possible. She’s not my type at all Laura! She’s a fellow athlete, she’s my damn teammate even. But I don’t know, this thing just blindsided me.” Elle looked really solemn then. “I’m sorry Laura, I didn’t mean for this to happen. I promise.”
You soften and pull her into a hug. “I’m not mad Elle.”
“Wha… You’re not?”
You shake your head. “If we’re being honest right now, I don’t think I have a crush on Danny anymore.”
“Really? You’re not just saying that to make me feel better?”
You chuckle. “No Elle, I swear.” You shrug and brace yourself for what you were going to say next. “I think I like someone else. Like really like.” You say mimicking Elle’s words earlier.
And just like that it’s like a shooting star fell on Elle (hey it rhymed again) as she beamed at you. “It’s Carmilla isn’t it?” She says so enthusiastically.
Just the mention of Carmilla made you feel warmer inside and you blush a bit.
“Yeah. I think it’s time I finally admit it out loud.”
Elle suddenly bursts out laughing. “Oh god what a pair we are.”
You laugh with her because what she said was right. How did this even happen? Both of you falling for people you weren’t expecting at all.
“So you’re not mad at me? “ You ask her. She looks at you exasperatingly. “Just making sure.”
“Of course I’m not. As long as you’re not mad at me too.”
You shake your head.
“So what do we do now?” She asks you after.
You sigh. “Revise our old plan?”
“Let’s get to drafting then!”
--
It was the first soccer game of the season and you’re sitting on the bleachers to cheer your school on. Turns out soccer was a big deal for Silas. The stadium was packed and lots of people, students and friends alike, had face paint on. The energy was palpable and it made you even more excited for the game.
The crowd then cheers even louder signaling the entrance of the teams. The rival school, Illyria, was first as the players burst out of their tarp and rip it open.
The cheers impossibly grew louder as the cheerleaders of Silas enter and lead the way for the team.
You zero in on one certain cheerleader. You realize this was the first time you saw Carmilla actually cheerleading. You feel your heart start to beat faster as you watch her dance and cheer. Hot damn.
You almost fall off your seat when Carmilla locks eyes with you and actually winks.
How did she even spot you? You were seated in a sea of crowd and yet…and yet she found you. You cover part of your face trying to hide your blush. The Silas team enters but your mind was still stuck on Carmilla alone.
--
Your school won the game but if you were being honest with yourself right now you weren’t even paying much attention.
“Laur!” You glance behind and see Elle skipping towards you, Danny slowly trailing behind.
“Great job on the win you!” You give her a hug. Even though your mind was pre-occupied with Carmilla, you still did watch Elle play exquisitely.
“This girl practically saved us from three goals with her stellar goal keeping abilities.” Danny says draping her arm around Elle.
“Says miss MVP who scored us two goals today.” Elle comments and Danny just kisses her temple in response.
You smile at them. It was so nice seeing them like this. Elle admitted her feelings to Danny just recently and it was no surprise on your part that Danny liked her back. Elle obviously looked happy and that was all you wanted for your best friend.
“You two better give me a statement for my article later alright?”
“Of course Laur. Hey there’s going to be a victory party later on. You’re coming right?” Elle asks you.
“I will don’t worry.”
“We’re heading out first then. Looks like a certain someone is waiting for you.” Elle looks behind you and you glance back to see Carmilla leaning against the wall.
“I’ll see you guys later then.” You say and walk towards Carmilla.
“Hey, cutie.” She smiles timidly at you. Carmilla acting shy is a rare thing to see.
“Hey there cap.” You tease her. “You were a star out there.”
“Thanks, cupcake.” She says slightly flustered.
This was a side to Carmilla she seldom showed. The softie she actually was. It makes your heart flutter that she allows you to see this.
“So… there’s this party later night that the soccer team is throwing and I was just wondering if you maybe wanted to go together?” You muster up the courage to actually ask her. “You know hang out there a bit. Look at the stars?” You might probably be staring at one certain star.
“I think I might like that very much.” She says in a voice that should be criminal.
If you won’t collapse with your diet of sugary products, Carmilla might probably be the next cause of your death.
--
Elle and Danny leave for the party ahead of you and you sit in your dorm room nervous and excited at the same time. You and Carmilla were going to hit the luau together and the thought itself practically transformed you into a bundle of nerves.
Why were you so nervous? It was just Carmilla, who you’ve been crushing on since you first met if you were being honest with yourself.
Your thoughts are broken as you hear a knock on your door. “Cupcake? It’s me, you ready?” Carmilla tells you from behind the door.
You roll your eyes, Carmilla was such a gentlewoman. She was so keen on proper manners especially when it came to knocking. “Come in!”
She does just that and you turn around in your chair to look up at… holy. That’s it, you’re dead. Your brain finally short circuited. What is life?
“Eyes up here, darling.” Carmilla tells you with a smirk as she catches you staring at her outfit which, wow. She was in a tight fitting corset and leather pants and just, this girl is illegal, she’s an illegirl.
“Uhmm, uhh yeah sorry. You look uhm, really great.” You stammer.
“Right back at you. “ She replies as she unapologetically checks you out, you’re wearing your favorite white dress that Elle always says you look killer in. But now you’re left in your seat overheating with all the attention Carmilla was giving you.
“Okay lady-killer.” You try to collect yourself. “Come on, we’re going to be late for the party.” You stand up and Carmilla offers her arm to you. You blush a bit but accept the gesture and hook your arm around hers.
--
Wild.
That was how you described the party. Everyone was already starting to get drunk by the time you and Carmilla arrive. You greet Danny and Elle once you spot them. Elle gives you a wink and you smile nervously back.
You recognize lots of familiar faces including your floor don Perry and her best friend LaFontaine.
“Looking good Frosch.” LaFontaine tells you and hands you and Carmilla a drink each. You introduce Carmilla to them but then realize the whole school practically knew her already. Damn, how popular was this girl?
Actually, you already knew that since you started school. Even now, almost every girl and guy at the party tried to get Carmilla’s attention. You don’t fail to notice though that Carmilla didn’t pay attention to any of them at all.
Which makes you think further, you haven’t even seen her with anyone since you two became close friends. Huh, that’s peculiar. You don’t get the chance to ponder over your thoughts more as Carmilla nudges your knee.
“Let’s get out of here.” Carmilla whispers in your ear.
“Wha-?” You spit out your drink a bit.
She chuckles. “I didn’t mean it that way. I was referring to a quieter place where there were no crazy lack wits.”
“Oh. Oh.” You scrunch your nose. “Yeah this party’s getting a bit too wild for my liking too.”
“Come on.” Carmilla pulls you by the hand and you just follow her.
She leads you to an empty room and opens the window. She surprises you more as she climbs out the window and onto the roof.
“Carm, what are you doing?” You say a bit incredulous.
“Thought you wanted to see the stars?” She smirks at you. “Come on, it’ll be fine, trust me.”
And that was all it took. You follow her out the window and gently set your feet on the uneven roof.
“I swear if I fall off this roof…”
“I’d catch you.” Carmilla tells you with such certainty in her voice it makes your legs shaky. She supports your arms though and you just lean into her a bit, enjoying this more than you should.
Carmilla moves to sit then lie down and you follow suit.
“Sorry this isn’t the most comfortable place to stargaze though.”
You shake your head. “I don’t mind.” You really don’t. As long as you were with Carmilla you wouldn’t mind even if you two were stranded on a desert island.
She starts pointing and tracing some constellations to you and you’re just so captivated you didn’t even dare move. It was fun to see Carmilla nerding about the stars and everything in space.
Sometimes you think she was not just lost in space, she was space itself, waiting to disappear. But then she always came back to you. She never disappeared even when you thought she would.
You thank the moon and the stars and every deity for allowing you to be able to be with Carmilla this way. Even though you weren’t sure what you two were. Best friends? That word didn’t seem to match the way you felt for her though. It was more than that.
You’re pulled away from your thoughts as Carmilla pokes your cheek. “Cupcake, come back to me.”
“I’m here.” Always here, you wanted to say too but you stop yourself. “Sorry I spaced out a bit.”
She chuckles. “Where did you go just then?”
“Into a dangerous zone.” And going there again, you think as you prepare yourself for what you were about to do. If not now then when?
You’ve been fighting this for too long. If you were being honest with yourself, there wasn’t anything stopping you now. Elle was fully supportive of this. You didn’t have to reason with your feelings anymore. So what was stopping you?
Fear.
Fear of rejection? No, that wasn’t it. You know that deep down, you could take the rejection from Carmilla, what you couldn’t bear is if she disappears from your life. You didn’t want her to treat you like a distant stranger.
But this time, you were going to be brave. You were going to girl the hell up.
You sit up and look at the sky, feel the cool breeze, drone out the muffled sounds coming from the party below and just sing.
(x)
Do I tell you I love you or not?
Cause I can't really guess what you want
If you let me down, let me down slow
If you got feelings for me
You just gotta speak honestly
If you let me down, let me down slow
Carmilla sits up then and just stares at you with her mouth slightly open in surprise. You finally look away from the stars above and lock eyes with hers. Who needed stars when you could practically see the whole universe inside of her?
I'm on my own
You're at the beach
Hundreds of miles away
I don't wanna be that girl
I'm praying you don't see the signs
Praying for you to be mine
If you let me down, let me down slow
And I don't believe in forever
I still wanna give it try
If you let me down, let me down slow
Carmilla’s eyes revealed everything she felt right now. Confusion, awe, adoration, and, was that hopefulness? You notice the distance between you and Carmilla was only an inch space now but you just continue singing.
How did she get close to you like this? She broke down all your walls, she saw through your mask. And yet, she was still here.
I don't wanna give you up
I don't wanna let you love somebody else but me
So what's it gonna be?
I don't wanna give you up
I don't wanna make it out like it's no big deal
So what's it gonna be?
Carmilla was so near you couldn’t help but look down at her lips. All you wanted to do now was close the distance between you two and apparently Carmilla was thinking the same thing as she does just that. When your lips finally meet it was like all your insecurities and anxiety go flying out the window.
You cup her face and deepen the kiss. This time, you allow yourself to drown in Carmilla, even just for now. Screw the consequences. Carmilla slides her tongue inside your mouth and you just moan at the sensation. She pulls your bodies closer and you feel her hand wander up your hips to your waist.
A thunderous sound suddenly erupts from the sky that makes you jump and you two break apart to see what was going on.
“Are those… fireworks?” Another round of light bursts up in the sky and confirms your thoughts.
You and Carmilla look at each other and just start to laugh. When your laughter dies down, Carmilla scoots closer and leans her forehead on yours like it was the most natural thing in the world.
“Was that song for me?”
“All my songs these days are practically about you Carm.” You finally admit.
“I don’t want to give you up either. I want to give us a try” Her gaze was filled with intense honesty. “If you’d let me.”
You answer her with another kiss which you feel her smile into. “Is that a yes?” She asks you.
“Yes. God, yes.” She seemed content with that answer and you two just continue kissing under the colorful lights.
You were prepared for heartbreak but it turns out Carmilla wouldn’t allow that. So what’s it gonna be? You were going to find out.