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“No one told me he was that hot,” Finn said low near Rey’s ear, as they squeezed each other tight. His eyes were on the Skywalkers, holding each other just in the distance as though they would never let go.
“Ow,” Finn said, when Rey pinched him in the side.
Girl was vicious.
-
“He seems depressed,” Finn said, when Rey plopped down next to him after one of her Jedi training sessions and promptly stole his lunch. “Is he depressed?”
“His nephew and Padawan went to the dark side and participated in the massacre at his school. Then said nephew murdered his father, who just happened to be Master Luke’s best friend. Would you be depressed?”
“You shouldn’t talk with your mouth full, it’s disgusting.”
Rey smacked him hard.
“Ow. Also, I see your point.”
Finn’s shoulders slumped as he looked over at Luke, sitting cross-legged and watching the breeze move through the tree limbs. Finn knew that his education had been biased, to say the least, but he knew that Luke Skywalker was a hero. He hadn’t really gotten what he was supposed to out of his lessons on the Rebellion, honestly, as he didn’t think General Hux had meant for him to come out with such a healthy respect and admiration for the heroes of the Rebels.
He liked imagining that his defection made him a little bit like them, doing what was right even when it was hard. He had been afraid, and he hadn’t known what would happen, and he still didn’t know what would happen as the war went on. But it was better now, being here, with Rey, and Poe.
It made this ache grow in his gut, seeing Luke be so unhappy.
“Do you think he would accept a hug?” Finn asked, and Rey groaned.
-
The thing was, that had been kind of a serious question.
Stormtroopers didn’t hug. Stormtroopers weren’t permitted to care. Sometimes they fucked, rushed and quick in dark corners and empty rooms, but affection was weakness and wouldn’t be tolerated.
One of Finn’s favorite things about being in the Resistance was that he was allowed to touch.
Rey wasn’t so good with casual affection but when she wanted a hug, she wanted a hug. Finn loved hugging Rey because it felt like it could go on forever and they would never stop, and that would be perfectly fine.
Then there was Poe, who was clingy in the very best way. He was always clasping shoulders and rubbing necks and honestly, Finn could probably hug him every time they saw each other, even if they’d been parted for five minutes, and Poe would just go with it.
Finn loved hugs. It made him feel safe and accepted, like he belonged, like people cared about him.
It just looked like Luke could use a hug, that’s all. Maybe it would make him feel accepted, too.
Or at least, you know. Less depressed.
-
“Why are you asking me?” Poe said, taking a shirt from off the back of his chair and sniffing it experimentally before putting it on.
Finn shuddered. If he would say one thing about the First Order, at least they were immaculately clean. “You knew him before, right?”
“Yeah, when I was, like, six.”
“And did he like hugs?”
“I was six. Do you think I cared if people actually wanted hugs?”
Finn collapsed onto his lumpy mattress and sighed, flinging his arms over his face.
It dipped when Poe sat next to him. “He hugs his sister. So at least you know he isn’t entirely opposed to the concept.” He paused. “Actually, he used to hug Captain Solo all the time, too. So maybe you’re all good.”
“Except I’m not sure he knows my name.”
“Buddy, he spent a standard month on a planet with nothing but Rey and some porgs. He sure as hell knows your name.”
Finn blushed when he realized what Poe meant. “Rey and I don’t talk about each other that much.”
Poe reached over and squeezed Finn’s ankle. “Not that I’m complaining, but yeah, you do. Remember who was with you for that standard month.”
“Chewbacca was on Ahch-To, too. And Artoo.”
“He knows your name, Finn,” Poe said, shifting his hand to slap the side of Finn’s leg. “Now go give the guy a hug.”
-
But Finn couldn’t just go up to Luke Skywalker and ask if he would like a hug. That was ridiculous. Also embarrassing. Finn’s social skills might be missing a little something - or so he had gathered since coming to the Resistance and discovering that day-to-day life here was massively different than it was in the First Order - but he knew that you didn’t just go around asking people who barely knew you existed for hugs.
Even if every time Finn saw Luke he wanted to hold him close and not let go until the man smiled.
(Finn had seen Luke smile twice so far. Once at his sister, once on the Falcon with Rey and Chewie after R2-D2 whistled something that Finn gathered was extraordinarily rude. He had an amazing smile. Finn wanted to see it again and again.)
So maybe Finn couldn’t actually offer that hug, but he could at least offer him some company. Maybe he could make Luke smile, even.
(Finn wasn’t entirely certain he would survive being smiled at by Luke Skywalker, but he definitely wanted the opportunity to find out.)
It was dusk, and Luke was sitting on a ledge next to the tarmac. For a moment Finn hesitated in his approach, thinking maybe he was meditating or something, and Finn would disturb him, but then Luke tilted his head like he knew Finn was there.
“Hello, Finn,” Luke said, and that answered that.
It also confirmed that Luke did, in fact, know Finn’s name. So that was something.
Finn slunk over to him and sat down, swinging his legs over the edge. “Master Skywalker, sir. Hi. Hello. Good evening.”
Kriff.
Luke’s eyes crinkled a bit at the corners and he wasn’t exactly smiling (yet) but he was clearly amused. “I think Luke will be fine.”
“Yes, sir. Uh. Luke.”
“It’s a nice night,” Luke volunteered when Finn’s mind completely failed to provide him with a conversation starter. He should have planned this out better.
“Yeah. Beautiful.”
“I like to come out here and think. Clear my head.”
“Oh,” Finn said with a sudden distressed realization. It was those social cues again. He always missed them. “I’m bothering you. I’ll go; can’t really clear your head with some Nerf herder chattering at you, right? Let me just--”
“Finn,” Luke interrupted, sounding more bemused than irritated. “You’re not bothering me. I like the company.”
“Really?”
“I’ve just spent years in seclusion. Pleasant company is a nice change of pace.”
I count as pleasant company. Finn inwardly congratulated himself. “I guess that makes sense.” They sat in silence for a while until Finn worked up the nerve to say, “Are you glad you came back with Rey?”
Luke didn’t answer right away and Finn regretted asking. That had probably been inappropriate. Maybe he should have consulted Poe on what to say.
Then Luke said, “I think it’s time for me to rectify my mistakes. And I… I missed my sister.”
He sounded so tired, and sad, and Finn really, really wanted to hug him.
Hugs always made Finn feel better. He felt like Luke deserved that, too.
“When I came here,” Finn said, “I figured everyone would want nothing to do with me. I’d always be the ex-stormtrooper nobody could trust. And it was hard. But I had Poe, and Rey came back, and… and it’s not so bad, anymore. And when it feels hard sometimes I… Can I hug you?”
Fucking bantha shit.
Luke was gazing at Finn with wide blue eyes. “What?”
Finn’s face felt like it was on fire. “Never mind. That was stupid. What a stupid thing to say.”
The seconds felt interminable. Finn tried to make himself stand up.
Then Luke turned into Finn, wrapping his arms around him, and Finn froze.
Blast it to hell. Luke was hugging him.
So Finn took full advantage of Luke’s obvious lapse in sanity. He curled around him and breathed in the smell of his hair and his skin, something faintly fresh, and a little bit like the Millennium Falcon. (But in a good way, because honestly, there were times Finn wondered what the hell Han had gotten up to on that ship.) Luke clung in a way that reminded Finn of Rey, like he wasn’t sure why he got to have this.
When they finally drew apart, Luke said, “Thanks. Maybe I needed that.”
Finn said, “Hugs are my favorite part about not being in the First Order. Well, besides the not having to kill people thing. Unless they’re shooting at me first.”
When Luke smiled at him, Finn decided that if it did kill him, it would be absolutely one hundred percent worth it.