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Hoseok thinks that he would understand immediately if he falls in love. He doesn’t know yet how exactly but he definitely will. He is and always was a really smart boy.
And then – Min Yoongi appears in front of him and. Nothing happens.
Hoseok smiles at the boy who stands on his doorstep with this cute scarf all over his head and asks him to feel homish. Since Jimin’s leave, it becomes too difficult to pay bills but Hoseok didn’t want to move. Min Yoongi seems a great choice and Hoseok gives him a key to his apartment. Yoongi nods, whispers ‘thank you’ and then takes a bed next to Hoseok. Hoseok runs an eye over Yoongi and thinks that he is cute but nothing more.
“Meet you later,” says Hoseok quickly and leaves the room.
Every person hides from the world, one way or another. Yoongi puts the scarf onto his face and disappears into the world of music by ruled notebooks and in-ear headphones that can be barely seen through his hair falling across the face. Hoseok – in contrast to him – undresses his wounds and his true self, disappearing into the world of music by moves. He always dances barefoot wearing a wife-beater and never notices what is going on around him. Hoseok reaches out for the music with all his body and he feels it through. He can dance hours long in the dancing room, he can forget to eat and to sleep because he was so busy with polishing his dance moves that are perfect anyway. He can forget to come back home for days. Yoongi doesn’t leave their home, stays there almost always. He smokes a lot but Hoseok doesn’t complain. Hoseok comes back home tired and the cup of a hot tea is always there waiting for him, and the bathroom is always unoccupied (he doesn’t want to think about how Yoongi always knows by what time he would be back and that he actually would come back; Hoseok suspects that the cup of tea is waiting for him every evening and is getting a warm up from time to time but he doesn’t hurry with those questions). Hoseok thinks that Yoongi is rational but nothing more.
Yoongi feels comfortable with Hoseok: he doesn’t waste time on meaningless talking, doesn’t stick with no reason and it’s really comfortable to live with him. Hoseok is weird and smiles so brightly that there is no place for darkness inside. Yoongi sometimes thinks that he’s never seen him in a serious mood so when such a moments happen, Yoongi collects them into his own imaginary collection of memories. Hoseok comes back on his last leg and immediately drops himself on the bed and falls asleep. Yoongi likes it because it is comfortable for him but nothing more.
Once Hoseok takes a day-off and Yoongi suddenly realizes that with Hoseok he feels as comfortable as without him. Hoseok still doesn’t waste time on meaningless talking and doesn’t try to dig into his soul; he just lies on his bed, watches movies and smiles. He has really beautiful side-face and Yoongi thinks that it’s okay to admit that someone is handsome but nothing more. Hoseok laughs throwing back his head and claps his hands and bustles like a child so Yoongi decides that he won’t be able to write something today. He puts aside his laptop and moves to the Hoseok’s bed. The boy seems a little bit confused for a moment but rolls to the other side of a bed (as much as he can) giving Yoongi some space and turns the laptop so Yoongi can see what’s going on at the screen. Hoseok slightly pushes Yoongi’s shoulder with his own and nods to the screen. Yoongi reaches for the glasses on the table and digs into the atmosphere of the movie. Hoseok looks up and steals a glance at Yoongi. His glasses, his freshly recolored mint hair, his little wrinkle between his eyebrows, his concentrate but at the same time relax look – all of these things fit him so well. Hoseok thinks about that as shifts his gaze on the screen and gets into the action.
At some point, they started to speak more. Wish a good luck to each other before leaving for classes, have dinners together, and Hoseok who at the beginning thought that they are roommates but nothing more, suddenly realizes that no – they are friends and, maybe, even the best friends. At this moment Hoseok smiles brighter than ever, and at all Yoongi’s questions about his weird behavior just grins and pulls Yoongi’s hair. Yoongi looks quizzically at him and his lips break into a smile, and Hoseok thinks that it’s cute but nothing more.
One night there is a thunder and the storm begins outside. Hoseok is afraid of them and, while he was living with Jimin, they always did some kind of sleepovers with horrors and night-talks and then complained the whole day after that they need to sleep. But now Jimin isn’t around and Hoseok shakes with fear and tosses about in his bed more and more with every minute. When thunder becomes really loud and frightful, he can’t help but scream. Probably, that’s why he isn’t really surprised when he gets a pillow thrown at his face. Hoseok thinks that he waked Yoongi up and that he is just trying to make him shut up but nothing more. And he gets really surprised when he hears the bare feet coming to him, doesn’t care about the cold floor, and then he feels that the blanket is twitched off and the bed bends under a strain of Yoongi’s body. Yoongi lies next to him, covers him with the blanket again, even wraps it around his body, and cuddles him. Usually, Yoongi is death cold but now he is warm and sleepy and Hoseok for some reason doesn’t want to ask questions or something. He just wants to sleep, nothing more. So he cuddles Yoongi back and snuggles to his raw-boned side and, probably, the storm ends because Hoseok doesn’t hear it anymore, and he falls asleep immediately and so tightly like he didn’t sleep for last decades.
In the morning he wakes up and Yoongi is still there, sleeping, and there are marks from the pillow on his face and Hoseok just wants to laugh. He starts to giggle stupidly and hears that Yoongi murmurs him to shut up, and that makes him want to laugh even harder so he walks to the kitchen where he can laugh out loud and makes a cup of tea and a cup of coffee. Yoongi wakes up in a few minutes and walks to the kitchen too, sits at the table and starts making sandwiches. Hoseok thinks that they might look like a couple or something but they are just roommates, friends, nothing more. Yoongi smiles when Hoseok gives him his cup and tries to warm his hands with it. He pulls his legs to his chest, chews his sandwich and, Hoseok can bet, thinks about music. Hoseok also wants to dance so bad so he quickly drinks his tea until the end, changes clothes, waves to Yoongi and asks him not to miss him.
In the dance room, Hoseok meets Taehyung and the way he dance makes Hoseok go weak at the knees. He thinks – that is it, of course, that’s the feeling he was waiting for, so he comes up to say hi. Turns out that Taehyung is a really cool guy, very handsome, who knows how to show himself from the best sides he has. He looks like a grown-up but he has this boyish charm, he likes to mess around and sees everything through rose-colored glasses. After coming back home he enthusiastically tells Yoongi about Taehyung and that he is done of being lonely. Yoongi listens silently, doesn’t look away, nods where he needs to nod and slowly drinks his coffee. And then he says just “go for it” and drops himself in his music world stuffing up his ears with in-ear headphones. Hoseok considers this reaction as weird but nothing more.
When Hoseok invites Taehyung to come in, he is doing it mostly to introduce him to Yoongi. Hoseok doesn’t know why it is so important for him to get a blessing from Yoongi but he knows that it is and he doesn’t want to lie to himself. Yoongi likes Taehyung and he even smiles but this smile is kind of exhausted. Hoseok wants to take Taehyung away from Yoongi almost immediately because Taehyung likes to hug people and to ask them questions, and Hoseok likes it in a way but it irritates him at this moment. Yoongi doesn’t like when people meddle in his comfort zone, it is Yoongi who decides that you can come closer and you need to deserve it. Hoseok regrets asking Taehyung to come over but nothing more. He looks at Yoongi who tries to pretend that everything is okay with him that he is not irritated or bothered. Yoongi smiles at Taehyung, keeps up a conversation and Hoseok suddenly realizes that Yoongi is doing it for him. Yoongi shifts his gaze to Hoseok and they look at each other for a few seconds, and Hoseok thinks that they look at each other for a few seconds. The world doesn’t stop turning, doesn’t turn upside down, there are no fireworks around – it’s just a few seconds passing by but nothing more.
It’s time for Taehyung to go and Hoseok says that he would take him home. They are walking through the night city and the snow starts falling. Snowflakes are huge and they are spinning around their heads, falls at their hair, their eyelashes stick together because of all these moisture. Taehyung tries to catch snowflakes with his tongue and Hoseok laughs because of it and then.
“Yoongi is good, very good,” smiles Taehyung and looks at Hoseok with sudden adulty in his eyes.
“Yeah, I know,” says Hoseok. He really knows it, he has time to make sure that it’s true.
“And we will be great friends, you and me,” Taehyung continues, neverminding Hoseok’s words. Hoseok walks alongside him and understands that he is okay with that.
“Yes,” he nods and realizes that he means it.
“But nothing more,” Taehyung finishes and smiles the way he always smiles – making his mouth look like a square. He looks like a child now even more than ever.
“Nothing more,” repeats Hoseok and smiles him back. Nothing fell into place, Hoseok still has lots of questions in his head but most importantly – all of them were addressed not to Taehyung.
They say goodbye to each other near the front door, hug each other and promise to dance together to each other. Both of them know that it will be the best thing they’ve ever done, and Hoseok understands that Taehyung is a friend to him, dance partner but nothing more.
Hoseok returns back home and the cup of hot tea is waiting for him. Yoongi sits at the desk, his scarf is covering his face because the heating is broken and it’s pretty cold inside. He intently writes something in his notebook, fixing his glasses from time to time and sniffling. Hoseok stands in the doorway and looks at him but nothing more. Yoongi runs his hands through his hair and takes off the glasses. He has tired eyes and Hoseok knows that the reasons are not only terrible insomnia and a huge amount of coffee.
“I’m tired,” says Yoongi and sits on the bed. He leans his head against the wall and looks at Hoseok. “How is Taehyung?”
“Good,” Hoseok shrugs, puts the empty cup on the nightstand and sits in front of Yoongi, tucking his legs under him. “Sleeps already, I suppose. You should do it too.”
“I would sleep in the great beyond,” snorts Yoongi and smiles. Tiredly and nothing more. Hoseok looks at this smile and wants to erase it for good and draw a new one, happy one, the real one at its place.
“Thanks for the tea,” Hoseok sees that Yoongi hugs himself but doesn’t move. He has never brought up the subject because it was the wrong time but now. Nothing changes, to be quite honest, and Hoseok feels the way he always felt. Unless he just really wants some answers.
“You are very welcome,” Yoongi looks at his feet and Hoseok thinks that Yoongi has never been such defenseless. Hoseok moves a bit and hugs him, trying to impart warmth to Yoongi. Yoongi just closes his eyes and snorts again. “I’m not a child or a girl, relax,” Yoongi tries to put away Hoseok’s hands but he doesn’t succeed in it. Hoseok doesn’t know whether it’s his strength or Yoongi didn’t try a lot but in large part, he doesn’t even care.
“You need to sleep and you wouldn’t if you freeze, you know it, I know it, just stop,” Hoseok smiles and Yoongi stops trying to escape a hug, he just docilely becomes absorbed in Hoseok’s collarbone. Sniffs noisily, Hoseok can feel that it is not really comfortable for him or maybe just doesn’t fit into his routine. “Sorry for Taehyung.”
“He is messy but… Cool. Good choice,” Hoseok can feel with his skin that Yoongi breaks into a smile but somehow he can say that this smile is sad. “He is lucky to have you.”
“Yeah, I’m a really great friend,” Hoseok grins and Yoongi stops messing around. He abstracts himself from Hoseok and Hoseok does his best not to tell Yoongi to come back.
“What do you mean?” Yoongi doesn’t understand and Hoseok wants to giggle. Hoseok doesn’t understand it himself, it’s just. With Yoongi he feels comfortable, without Yoongi too, he can live without him, really. The thing is he just doesn’t want his future to be without Yoongi but nothing more.
“Taehyung and I, we are… friends, you know,” Hoseok shrugs and Yoongi thoughtfully observes his face. And then, apparently, finds something important to him and nods.
“As you wish,” Yoongi speaks calmly and he has an unreadable face and long fingers. Hoseok likes to play with them and that’s exactly why he is doing it right now. Yoongi puts his head back on Hoseok’s collarbone and breathes quietly.
They sit on the bed, there is a snowfall outside and Yoongi’s scarf is really itchy. Hoseok plays with his fingers and smiles. Yoongi falls asleep and, probably, would get some proper rest for the first time this week. Hoseok thinks that it’s just a pure luck but nothing more. Yoongi fights with a sleep, they have endless battles (and no one wins or loses there) and Hoseok is some kind of a referee for them. Honestly, he lost count months ago but he is ready to begin all over again and again if necessary. Hoseok thinks that he would make Yoongi loser or winner many times and he, of course, wants Yoongi to win but he would try to help a sleep from time to time. Yoongi already wastes lots of time on insomnia. And Hoseok… He is the really good referee but nothing more.
That’s why he wraps him up in a blanket, lies him down on the bed carefully trying not to wake up and lies next to Yoongi. Hoseok doesn’t have any fireworks inside, any whales under his skin, any stars in the eyes or butterflies in his stomach. He just feels warmth and serenity when he looks at Yoongi but nothing more. But isn’t that enough?