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Not All Scars Are Visible

Summary:

[MAJOR STORMBLOOD SPOILERS!!!]

After the fight against Zenos, you disappear. Alisaie goes after you, worried, and discovers why this fight has affected you so much. Apparently, the Warrior of Light needs a psychologist.

Notes:

Hey! Thanks for reading this! I'm not and english speaker, so there will be some grammar errors, because this is not betaed yet! You can help me if you want, saying in the comment box if you find an error! Thankyou~

Have a good daaay!

Work Text:

Alisaie sighed, crossing her arms. She did not leave her worry on her face, forcing herself to appear as neutral as ever, as she walked carefully around Rhalgr's Reach. Alphinaud had asked her to look for you, after you had disappeared. She was already walking for ten minutes, and there was no sign of you.

Of course, you were strong, so normally no one would worry about your disappearance. After all, if there was someone trying to hurt you, you would just send them flying with that giant sword of yours ... But Krile had said that you had not received treatment after the fight against Zenos, just a little healing magic from one of the Conjurers of Twin Adders. Enough to walk, of course, but with years of experience, Krile could see how you limped a little, and how you tried to hide the pain you were feeling.

"Where are you, Warrior of Light?" Alisaie murmured to herself. She had looked all over Rhalgr's Reach, but no sign of you. With a sigh, she decided to leave the camp, trying to ignore all the obvious devastation of the empire's incursion. Maybe you were outside, it's not as if it was less safe than Rhalgr's Reach now, since the Empire knew where it was.

From the outside, it was easy to guess where you had gone if the trail of dead monsters were any indication. Alisaie kept this information in her mind, usually she knew you would not kill monsters unless you were attacked first, and preferred to pass safely out of their sight. Following the bodies, Alisaie saw you. Your white hair was hard to lose, brilliant against the moonlight. She paused for a moment, mentally recording your condition.

Your clothing, which Tataru had given you, had several small open tears. Some tears were big, too, like the ones in the middle of your chest, where the girl knew that you had been hit by one of Zenos's swords. There was dried red blood on the white cloth. Your face was shining with sweat. Your breath seemed to pant. Your red eye was the only one she could see. The black eye had always been hard to see in the dark. You looked okay, at least physically. Your wild gaze, teeth sharp at the show, with a snarl at one of the desert monsters, and sword dripping with blood could prove otherwise, in your mental state. The monster ran away from you, which was rare.

You paused for a few moments, staring at the spot the monster had been seconds before. Then you propped the sword on the ground, laying it on the sand, and supporting your weight, breathing heavily. You knelt on the ground, letting go of the sword. Alisaie watched your tail curl close to the body, and your ears lowered. It was the best way to read you, after all, since your face had always been difficult to read.

When Alisaie thought it was safe, she approached, making her footsteps audible so as not to scare you. She knew she should be careful with people in this state, though she never imagined she would have to do this to you. Her thoughts flew to Bahamut, to your deeds, your tranquility, and the way you always seemed to control the situation. It was quite different now. At the time, she thought you were some sort of deity, a chosen one. She had been very foolish at the age of fourteen, after all. No, you were just an ordinary person like all of them. Chosen by Hydaelyn, yes, but still... a person.

You knew she was there, your ears had paralyzed and turned toward the sound, but you did not move. Alisaie came closer, and she felt your eyes on her. Both the red and the black seemed empty, as if you were a shell without a soul. Alisaie's heart raced with fear, those eyes were scary, she knew she would have nightmares about it for some time. She swallowed, before speaking.

"What the local monsters made you want to kill them so much, eh?" Alisaie asked, trying to put some humor in her voice, hiding her fear behind her serious, angry face. She relaxed when her words seemed to have done the trick. Your eyes brightened and you blinked twice, looking disoriented.

"I've never really liked spiders," you finally replied, after looking around, bewildered. You seemed to avoid Alisaie's gaze, sitting up properly, in a falsely relaxed posture. "We cannot neglect that now, if one of these goes into the camp, it's going to be a disaster." You continued, looking at everything but her.

 

Ah, great. You were going to bottle everything up now, were not you?

 

"It will be a disaster if the Warrior of Light collapses from exhaustion and is eaten by a giant spider, too," Alisaie snapped, folding her arms. Your tail swayed, denouncing your irritation at the comment, but your face was carefully composed in a silly smile that Alisaie saw too many times to like.

"Oh? Worried about me, Ali-chan?" Your voice was kind of singsong, as if you were playing. "Do not worry; old Reiyo here is still strong enough to walk around without company, promise. Do not worry, squirt. "Alisaie scowled at the childish nickname.

"I'm already eighteen, you know?" You stared at her, as if to say that it did not matter at all. Anger rose in Alisaie's head and she snorted angrily. "Strong enough to get your ass kicked. Very strong indeed, catboy." Your face hardened. Uh-oh.

You looked like you were going to explode at any moment, and Alisaie expected that. Honestly, it was more worth it if you yelled at her than if you kept those feelings to yourself, but as quickly as it came, your anger was gone, replaced by a smile with traces of pain. "Wow. You're really sensitive, thank you." Alisaie could almost feel the sarcasm dripping into your words.

The Young Elezen sighed and approached, kneeling in front of you. She thought carefully of the next thing to say. "There is no shame in being defeated by the prince of the Empire. Especially him being Zenos. He is insanely strong." There was a sound agreement that came out of you, when you looked away to the ground. She waited a few moments to see if you would respond, then sighed when you did not. "Okay, take off your shirt, catboy."

Your face lifted, and you put your hand under the cloth, as if protecting yourself. There was a flash of panic in your eyes for a moment, but it was erased by forced amusement. "Wow, I did not know you liked me like this, Ali." Alisaie had to fight the blush that threatened to rise up her cheeks.

"I did not mean it like that! Idiot! "She exclaimed, ashamed." Krile asked me to finish healing you, she saw that you were still in pain when you left. I may not be good at healing spells, but I can bandage the bruises very well until we can see a doctor in the Alliance lands. "You watched her for a few seconds before letting out a sigh.

"I'm going to bandage the bruises before bed. You do not have to deal with it, Ali. "At least you did not try to deny the injuries, Alisaie thought, which was a start. Your hand were still gripping the fabric of your shirt tightly, and if she were not paying close attention, she would not have noticed the shaking of your hands.

"Alphinaud says you're always too cluttered with bandages," Alisaie insisted. "Besides, I came here just for this, Reiyo, you could at least let me bandage you. There's only us here, I promise I will not spread to anyone whatever you're trying to hide with your clothes. "Maybe it was an embarrassing tattoo? It looked like the kind of thing you would hide. It is not as if you cared about scars, you already had two on your face anyway.

"No, Ali." Your voice became angry, abruptly.

“But…”

“I said NO!”

Alisaie fell silent, wide-eyed for your shout. You had closed your eyes, your shoulders were shaking, and you held the shirt as if it were your salvation. Alisaie pulled back slightly, giving you room to breathe. There was a squeak in your breath that worried Alisaie, probably a sign of some broken rib. However, she did not say anything until your breathing calmed down.

"Never ... Ask me to undress, Ali," you finally said, controlling your tone again. Alisaie bit her lip with the implication of this phrase, which made her tense. What could have happened to make this such a delicate topic? She tried to find the answer.

This reaction. The angry look at Thancred's comments about getting someone to go to bed with. Your hesitation for any relationship matter. Your need to be alone during the nights. The pieces were starting to fit in, and Alisaie did not like the image they were creating at all.

"Reiyo, have you ever been abused?" She asked, bluntly. You jumped to that question with an obviously startled look at her. You babbled incoherently, nervous, as if you could not formulate a correct answer.

"Abused?" You repeated, weakly. "Hah, what gave you this idea? Obviously no, no one could ever abuse me, you know. I'm strong, and I'd kick the butt of anyone who tried, and-" You got more and more incoherent, talking out of pure nervousness. Alisaie knew that it would be like that, you were the talking type of person when there were not many people around. When pushed into the corner, you talked too much.

"You were not always strong." She pressed. "When you were a child, you could not even lift a sword, you told me that yourself." That shut you up completely, and you pursed your lips tightly. "If you have not been abused then you do not have to be afraid to take your shirt off for someone you know will not hurt you, will you?" Alisaie had cornered you, and she knew that.

 

Alphinaud was always the politician, but she was the one who understood what to do with people, which buttons to press to make them speak.

 

To her surprise, however, you began to undo your tie. You were shaking too, too, but you took off your shirt as Alisaie had asked. The physical difficulty was visible when you unbuttoned the white coat, and finally took off the black, leaving them lying next to you. Well, at least it had made it easier to heal you. She stared at your torso. You were thin, she noted. Thinner than you looked with your shirt on. Your ribs were visible, only slightly hidden by the muscles created in years of training to fight. She could clearly see the bruise indicating the broken rib as well.

There were many scars, she could not even tell. Some were rather ugly, like the one in the center of his chest, which had only recently been cured after the fight against Zenos. It was still red and irritated, with bloodstains. Alisaie paused before reaching for a roll of bandages in her pocket. You were cooperative as she began to wrap the bandages around your torso, to keep the bruises from opening again, and to keep the rib from moving too much.

Alisaie was working a few minutes ago in your torso before you spoke again. "It will not happen again." It was obvious what you meant.

"I know," she agreed softly.

"I will not be helpless again." Your voice was weak.

"I know." She circled him, focusing on his back.

"I will not be useless again."

Alisaie paused at these words. She took her hand to the top of the nape of your neck, running her fingers up through your tangled hair. You froze at the touch, but said nothing. She then started rubbing it there, as she would a frightened animal.

"You're not useless, Reiyo," she replied. "You saved many lives today."

The silence was all Alisaie received in response, but she expected nothing else. She continued to pet your head silently for several minutes, until she slowly felt yourself relax under your fingers. You seemed calmer, despite of the initial tension. Alisaie returned to bandage you in silence. It was when she finished and stood up that you finally spoke again.

"You... You're not going to tell anyone, are you?" You looked conflicted. Alisaie paused, seeming to consider.

"Tell them what?" She replied, leaving a smile of amusement to appear on her lips. "That you are totally against the native life of Gyr Abania?"

Your cheeks turned red. "No! Not this ... A-although we probably should not talk about it too ... I-I mean the other thing... "

Alisaie laughed, but did not answer. "Come on, Reiyo," she called, already starting to walk. "We need to get some sleep before we walk to Castrum Oriens." You got up flustered, grabbing your shirt off the floor, seeming to grumble a bit about the lack of response, but followed Alisaie anyway.

You did not ask again if she would not tell others about the abuse thing, though. You knew it was a stupid question. After all, you could trust Alisaie.

 

You were just a little afraid to do that, yet.